This life...

Nothing is exciting and groundbreaking happens anymore. Music is just...in a really bad state. I'd much rather live in the 70s or 80s. I mean, it was so much more exciting. You know, things were breaking out, new inventions. It's crazy, because I have so much stuff that kids back then would consider for the wealthy.

I know it's not bad to have lots of nice things, and a well held together family, but then it all seems like there's nothing to look forward to. I hate how people think if you have money, you automatically have to be happy. Like...if you were rich you'd be some spoiled bastard because you might be unhappy.

I don't care if we don't have any money. It doesn't make a person happy...completely.

I could be the happiest person in the world and go home smelling to high Heaven. I just want to LIVE. Cooped up in some sheltered lifestyle is not what I want. I was alot happier when we had nothing. We were so poor. We had nothing. The first three years I lived here, I had to sleep on a single, twin sized mattress on the floor. We...really had literally nothing. Now, it's so different. We have so much more. I'm the youngest, and all my sisters have moved out and started families. So most people think I'm an only child...my sisters grew up in an entirely different decade than I am.

Like...it's one of my life goals to go on a road trip, everywhere. I'd go anywhere under any conditions. Nothing else matters...it's just about doing it. I wouldn't care if I didn't have a place to stay, or the car broke down, or anything. I admire people who are so happy and they have nothing.

I know my parents want the best for me, but sometimes I just want to live a wild life. No rules. Anything goes. I guess I've always been, or wanted to be, one of those "free" people. I just need some release. I want my younger years to be...crazy, happy, totally out of control. And then, when I decide to, I'd stop...grow up, improve with age. Become one those wise old people. Those are two very different sides to me. One is wild, and the other...too deep keep going.

I want to have one hell of a story to tell.
Posted on August 10th, 2007 at 07:13am

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