Getting Away Of Adolescence
My 18th Birthday is coming. And Although I'm still on the teen years, I'm starting to feel sad, 'cause 18 is getting away from 16. All those feelings and thoughts you have at age 16 won't come back, you'll never live them again with the same intensity.
I mean, when I was 16, I was able to do whatever I wanted or do not. I could get to the sky, and suddenly come down to the floor, feel really depressed and feel really happy. But now, by going 18, I'm starting to feel that I'm going to lose the pain that is felt when you are younger. I'm going to lose a lot of feelings that only exist at that time of life.
Also, I think that losing adolescence, makes you lose the feel for fighting for what you want. I mean, when I was 15/16, I liked a girl, and knowing that she was going to go with somebody else, made me felt really sad, but still I wasn't willing to give up the fight that easily, and would do anything to "win" her love. And now, as she is with the same dude, I'm starting to think: "Well, Ok, we get along really well, we are best great friends. At least I have that, if she decides to be with that other guy, is ok, I will let her go". Do you know how stupid it is? And still, I accept it.
But here I enter to a contradiction, if I'm not wanting to accept this kind of thing about growing up and maturity (by letting her go away from me), then I'm not leaving adolescence. That gives me some hope, but while growing up, I don't feel that much pain that I used to feel while thinking she was going with the wrong guy. Maturity is starting to invade me, but I will try to see maturity as just an objetive way of thinking, eventhough I see it as Giving up on what you want and you know is correct.
So, what is the special thing with getting away from adolescence? I'm not liking the new times, even if I consider that I used to suffer more on the past.
My final question is, what is maturity? Is it something positive about growing up?
I don't know.
I mean, when I was 16, I was able to do whatever I wanted or do not. I could get to the sky, and suddenly come down to the floor, feel really depressed and feel really happy. But now, by going 18, I'm starting to feel that I'm going to lose the pain that is felt when you are younger. I'm going to lose a lot of feelings that only exist at that time of life.
Also, I think that losing adolescence, makes you lose the feel for fighting for what you want. I mean, when I was 15/16, I liked a girl, and knowing that she was going to go with somebody else, made me felt really sad, but still I wasn't willing to give up the fight that easily, and would do anything to "win" her love. And now, as she is with the same dude, I'm starting to think: "Well, Ok, we get along really well, we are best great friends. At least I have that, if she decides to be with that other guy, is ok, I will let her go". Do you know how stupid it is? And still, I accept it.
But here I enter to a contradiction, if I'm not wanting to accept this kind of thing about growing up and maturity (by letting her go away from me), then I'm not leaving adolescence. That gives me some hope, but while growing up, I don't feel that much pain that I used to feel while thinking she was going with the wrong guy. Maturity is starting to invade me, but I will try to see maturity as just an objetive way of thinking, eventhough I see it as Giving up on what you want and you know is correct.
So, what is the special thing with getting away from adolescence? I'm not liking the new times, even if I consider that I used to suffer more on the past.
My final question is, what is maturity? Is it something positive about growing up?
I don't know.
Your just the same person you were before, you just got a little bigger and doing different things.
schooldropout, October 15th, 2007 at 03:25:32pm
I turned 18 earlier this year.
It changes nothing. You'll still feel exactly the same as you did when you were 17.
vonny, October 14th, 2007 at 09:26:18am
Nice blog.
Looking back on your life and getting older will always happen. It's weird knowing that. I'm only 13 and I still feel a little disappointed that I'm growing up. I have no idea what's next.. I guess we all change in the meantime..
threeam., October 14th, 2007 at 03:27:57am