We broke up :(

Now I finally have the courage to talk about this. Nick and I broke up.

I've been feeling it since weeks, to be exact since beginning of September. He seemed so different towards me, weird. I lacked affection, he seemed like he didnt enjoy talking to me that much anymore. Something changed.

Now after all these months being with him it is so hard to move on. He was my everything. I gave everything to him. I loved him more than anything...I still do, but now I have to learn to live without him, at least without him as my boyfriend. I have to face the fact that other girls will be close to him.

I always hoped we could be together forever. The time we had was so great, so perfect. Maybe too perfect? I don't know. I wanna go back in time and experience it again. But I can't. I have to move on with my life.

And even if for now it hurts more than anything, one day I hope I can get over it. For now the pain is just too real, my feelings for him still so strong. It feels as if I have forgotten how to live without him. Who will I think of when I fall asleep? It's little things that always remind me of him.

And sometimes the tears won't stop falling, and my heart is calling for him. I had to put all his things in a box so they don't remind me of our love. His shirt that I smelled and hugged every night, the keychain from him that I used, the candle, the mammoth that I always cuddled, and more stuff.

I don't blame him that it's over. Maybe it wasn't meant to happen. I'm happy we are still friends.
And one day someone will find me, someone who I can give my love again. Someone who I can be with forever. That is my dream. That is what I believe in: True Love. He is somewhere out there, I just have to find him. And I will.
Posted on October 20th, 2007 at 01:10am

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