Yesh, Im talking about periods.

I feel like venting more of my frustrations, so here I am again. Writing another blog that wont get read as much as I would like.

Anyway, Im going to tackle the issue of periods. And Im not talking about the dots you put at the end of a sentence. No, no. Im talking Menstruation- the tearing of the uterus wall, the release of unfertilized eggs. The blood that spills from the lips in our pants. The reason why us women can have babies.

My main thing is the hormonal imbalance it produces. In my case, I can get selectively pissy. Namely, Im a bitch to a selected group but can shake it off for another. That begins a good week or so before my Aunt Flow comes for a visit, and continues until its over.
I feel sorry for the people I have to work with. They could ask me a simple question like 'can I have a pen?' And I'll go into a chick fit, telling them that Im not Bic and I dont make pens, so they should go and look for one up thier asshole. But then I go home, and Im laughing and joking like theres nothing wrong.

The pain is another thing. God is obviously a man. I say that because why else would he put me through such literal back-breaking cramps? Seriously, for the first couple of days, it feels like someones trying to do Origami with my ovaries. If I sit one way, its cool, but it kicks in again and then I have to move. That sucks, so does the nausea. The hot water bottle theory doesnt work that well- your legs still feel like jelly and you walk like you have a shitty diaper on, or worse yet.... you walk like your old and decrepit.
So you pop a few painkillers, that works, but you still have to wait for the little fuckers to kick in. You may as well not bother.

Then theres the sanitary towels or tampon debate.
I use both. Cos Im cool like that. But also because 'Tampons give you freedom to do all those everyday things'. Dunno what random bullshitting t.v ad I quoted there, but there was truth in it. Shoving a ginormous cotton bud up your vageta isnt the most pleasant experience, but meh. What can we do? Its either that or wearing a huge nappy with wings.
And what in God's name is that about? Theres so fucking many to choose from! You got wings, night time, day time, super, maxi, regular, thong shaped, no wings, black ones (when you wear black clothes), thick ones, thin ones, perfumed ones, non perfumed.... All we want is something to stop the spillage! Its not a time to dress our minge in the latest fashions!
Just another way for companies to make money off of womens misfortunes. That and moustache bleaching kits. That's just cruel, that is.

Think about it. Back in BP (Before Pantyliners), what did women do? Im curious. But then again, no. Im greatful for the advances in cosmetics. Simply because we dont have to walk around looking like Chewbacca from Star Wars.

So Im done rambling. Obviously I was surfing the crimson wave and a man pissed me off when I wrote this. Why did a man piss me off? I have no fucking idea. He just did. Im going to eat some chocolate.
Posted on February 6th, 2007 at 06:27am

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