I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby :]

Once again, you all are fortunate enough to witness the rare surfacing of my serious side. I'll get started with my rant.

What is it with peope today? It seems I can't find one solid friend. You know, the kind of friend you do everything with, the kind of friend you always go to when you feel like pure poopy and they can make it all better. All my friends are too busy stabbing me in the back and completely ignoring me...I mean, I know I can be quiet sometimes but still...I don't fit in with anyone. I never have. Nobody has a similiar sense of humor, nobody likes the same music, nobody wants to do the same things. Nobody's really willing to give the time of day to get to know me before I'm pegged as quiet and boring. If there was somebody out there who's patient enought to handle me, I bet they'd get to know someone they could possible genuinely like. I don't have one group of friends, I mean, I do, and I guess I like them? They like me? They basically ignore me, if nobody else is around to talk to, there's Kailey. So I leave. At lunch, in class, at their house, I just walk off. It's the natural born loner coming out in me. I was destined to be confined to unvoluntary solitude for my middle school years, because, as cliche as this sounds, nobody understands me. And it hurts. I want to find just one person who is like me, and in bumfuck texas, this task is proving itself to be impossible.

Let me tell you about my friend, about this girl and her name is Stella. She's a musical prodigy and is destined to become famous-gorgeous, talented writer, teachers love her, she stands out. She doesn't dress like anyone else, she's 100% her own person and completely likeable. She has the closest sense of humor to mine and treats me like a real friend. I mean, she's nice and funny and I can really be myself around her but she has so many other friends and so many other activities there's really not much time for me. It doesn't really bother me - if she wants to be my friend, she'll make time for me. The reason I mention her is because she's the first one who really stepped up and recognized me and initiated me into her social circle, the "band geeks". I'm not in band, so this isn't the most convenient set of friends. Their the most out there, out casted, socially unaccepted kids in school, well at my school the lowest you can get above the people considered "complete losers", and I don't fit in with them. Or the other kids who I refuse to call complete losers. It's just frustrating, so I needed to vent.
Posted on December 23rd, 2007 at 04:33am


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