Right Now…I’m Not Sure.
About what? See, that’s the real problem, that I don’t know what the problem is. I feel like I’m pining and whining for a reason, but I’m not sure why.
Her earliest memory had been getting that rabbit. Walking into the pet shop they had seen no creatures to their fancy and were preparing to leave with nothing when the shop keeper saw the heart ache in the children’s faces; they were moving away. Taking them into the back, she showed them a new litter of rabbits, each one with golden and grey fur, telling the children that they could have first pick on Wednesday, after a vet check. 4 Days later the children were back, choosing a male rabbit and naming it Scooby, after the dog.
Scooby lived within a hutch, perfect size for the dwarf lop which seemed to grow in size everyday, eventually ending up the mass of a small cat, prompting them to get a bigger pen. When the children were at school and the parents at work, the rabbit had the run of the garden, happily sunbathing and munching on the lush grass. He wasn’t without problems. Fleas, mites and the odd eye infection, but he was happy.
She found comfort within him; holding him close through the pain of broken arms and the pain of broken friendship. When her sister was off playing with her own friends, when her parents were off somewhere, she had Scooby, to talk to, confine in, to be loved by.
10 years later, 15, and less dependant on the rabbit, she still spent time, brushing, stroking, caring for the small creature, she became heart broken. Swollen tear ducts caused him hair loss and as he reached a decade old it became decided he wasn’t young enough for the operation and that his life would be terminated on Christmas Eve.
The girl cried, pleading for more time and as if so Christmas miracle occurred, he began to get better, slowly and first, but it got worst and on the 10th January 2008 his time was to be up at 1.00pm. Even as the vet took him away, he kicked, ferreted and squirmed to get free. He wasn’t willing to die and he shouldn’t have.
Buried now within the girl’s front garden, a small stone rabbit marking his place. The girl will never forget him as the tears run down her face. Scooby was her best friend and she would still have traded the world for him.
Right now, it’s probably due to that. It’s how I liked it to be put, in the form of a story, it helped me relieve some stress, some anger, some emotion.
But now as I sit here, 39 sheets of geography, 20 of stats and whoever knows how many English poems, I’m starting to see what matters…but it’s not clear yet.
I’ve started to take my dogs on walks that last for hours. Usually it’s just a 30 minute walk each, then get on with the work, but a few days ago I was out for 3 hours with each of them; just to avoid reality that little bit longer.
I’m not good with deaths. My grandma and rabbit gone within a few weeks. The day after my grandma died I had an exam which counted for 15% of my overall grade and an English oral which counted for 10%...it was my friends birthday and everyone was celebrating while I was just trying not to cry. I kind of wanted to tell them, to get some compassion, a little bit of love, but instead I spent the day trying not to bring the birthday girl down.
Art’s a pain too. Look at the links below, the shading upon the face of the first one and the general shading of the second one didn’t pick up, but you get the picture…
1
2
My art teacher expects this to take up all my time; art, but I can’t.
There’s two main things helping me cope currently.
1) Elliot Minor. But we already know how much they mean to me xD
2) My friends. GSBians & School. You all know how amazing GSBians are, I could spend forever naming them, but this blog is already about 700 words and I don’t want to have another hundred listing everyone; you know who you are and you mean the world to me.
But my school friends are amazing also.
This is four of them, when we were at flamingo land.
And this is five of us shooting about at 100mph
With GSBians, everyone seems to have tons of things in common, but with us there are so many variations that we’re so alike; without them I’d suffer so much at school.
In 4 days I’ll be getting my prom dress. Scared? Yes. I’m growing up…maybe that’s the problem, yet it’s also the solution.
We’re back at square one.
Scrolling up, this may make little sense, but it made me feel a lot better…
Thanks for reading.x
Time After Time And Nothing Has Changed, Time After Time And We’re Still The Same…
To Repeat Yesterday
Her earliest memory had been getting that rabbit. Walking into the pet shop they had seen no creatures to their fancy and were preparing to leave with nothing when the shop keeper saw the heart ache in the children’s faces; they were moving away. Taking them into the back, she showed them a new litter of rabbits, each one with golden and grey fur, telling the children that they could have first pick on Wednesday, after a vet check. 4 Days later the children were back, choosing a male rabbit and naming it Scooby, after the dog.
Scooby lived within a hutch, perfect size for the dwarf lop which seemed to grow in size everyday, eventually ending up the mass of a small cat, prompting them to get a bigger pen. When the children were at school and the parents at work, the rabbit had the run of the garden, happily sunbathing and munching on the lush grass. He wasn’t without problems. Fleas, mites and the odd eye infection, but he was happy.
She found comfort within him; holding him close through the pain of broken arms and the pain of broken friendship. When her sister was off playing with her own friends, when her parents were off somewhere, she had Scooby, to talk to, confine in, to be loved by.
10 years later, 15, and less dependant on the rabbit, she still spent time, brushing, stroking, caring for the small creature, she became heart broken. Swollen tear ducts caused him hair loss and as he reached a decade old it became decided he wasn’t young enough for the operation and that his life would be terminated on Christmas Eve.
The girl cried, pleading for more time and as if so Christmas miracle occurred, he began to get better, slowly and first, but it got worst and on the 10th January 2008 his time was to be up at 1.00pm. Even as the vet took him away, he kicked, ferreted and squirmed to get free. He wasn’t willing to die and he shouldn’t have.
Buried now within the girl’s front garden, a small stone rabbit marking his place. The girl will never forget him as the tears run down her face. Scooby was her best friend and she would still have traded the world for him.
Right now, it’s probably due to that. It’s how I liked it to be put, in the form of a story, it helped me relieve some stress, some anger, some emotion.
But now as I sit here, 39 sheets of geography, 20 of stats and whoever knows how many English poems, I’m starting to see what matters…but it’s not clear yet.
I’ve started to take my dogs on walks that last for hours. Usually it’s just a 30 minute walk each, then get on with the work, but a few days ago I was out for 3 hours with each of them; just to avoid reality that little bit longer.
I’m not good with deaths. My grandma and rabbit gone within a few weeks. The day after my grandma died I had an exam which counted for 15% of my overall grade and an English oral which counted for 10%...it was my friends birthday and everyone was celebrating while I was just trying not to cry. I kind of wanted to tell them, to get some compassion, a little bit of love, but instead I spent the day trying not to bring the birthday girl down.
Art’s a pain too. Look at the links below, the shading upon the face of the first one and the general shading of the second one didn’t pick up, but you get the picture…
1
2
My art teacher expects this to take up all my time; art, but I can’t.
There’s two main things helping me cope currently.
1) Elliot Minor. But we already know how much they mean to me xD
2) My friends. GSBians & School. You all know how amazing GSBians are, I could spend forever naming them, but this blog is already about 700 words and I don’t want to have another hundred listing everyone; you know who you are and you mean the world to me.
But my school friends are amazing also.
This is four of them, when we were at flamingo land.
And this is five of us shooting about at 100mph
With GSBians, everyone seems to have tons of things in common, but with us there are so many variations that we’re so alike; without them I’d suffer so much at school.
In 4 days I’ll be getting my prom dress. Scared? Yes. I’m growing up…maybe that’s the problem, yet it’s also the solution.
We’re back at square one.
Scrolling up, this may make little sense, but it made me feel a lot better…
Thanks for reading.x
Time After Time And Nothing Has Changed, Time After Time And We’re Still The Same…
To Repeat Yesterday
I'm sorry Kate :[
I don't handle death well either. I lost two people in the same short span of time, and when I was asked to serve a funeral, I broke down crying halfway though it and had to be escorted out.
Death isn't fun
Friends are though.
It's good that you're getting some out, if you ever need to let some things out, you can vent to me. I'll be here for you the best I can.
Ily Kate, I hope things get sorted out for you
You're an amazingly awesome person.
Tyler Durden, February 27th, 2008 at 02:14:54pm
I like the drawings. :D
I liked how the beginning was written.
I'd be nothing without my lizards :O
captain america, February 26th, 2008 at 06:00:15pm
:[ awh...i'm sorry for the hurt you're feeling right now, and the stress.
things'll get better.
*hugs* well written blog
Bubble Wrap., February 26th, 2008 at 03:16:12pm