You have that strength inside of you.

It's weird how life can change. One day everything seems perfect, the other day all your hopes and everything you believed in crashes down in front of you.
My year 2007 has been a very crazy one. I jumped from one love to another in January, and found myself within a relationship that was so sweet and yet so poisonous. After everything ended in Autumn I had to learn to get hold of my life again. And now, in 2008, I find myself stronger than ever.

Only some months ago I was a mental wrack. My tears didn't seem to dry and he didn't seem to get out of my head. My stomach hurt every time I saw him, I shook, I cried and tried to run away from my problem. I was extremely hyper and excited one second, and cried the other. I decided it couldn't go on like that and took my life in my hands.

you look like you could do with a friend she said
you look like you could use a hand
someone to make you smile she said
someone who can understand
share your trouble
comfort you
hold you close
- Wendy Time * The Cure

I wouldn't have managed all this without the help of my friends. We spent so much time together, laughed at university and met again in the afternoon and night to go out, chat, watch movies, TV, paint each other's nails. My friends took care of me, we cooked together and I started to gain weight. You look so much better Susi, they always say now and smile. I used to loose a lot of weight and looked pale and stressed, now I look healthy again. And what was most important: They understood and they listened.

Welcome back in this life, Susi. Today I'm stronger than I have ever been. I enjoy life, I don't think it has ever been better. I have the best friends anyone could imagine. I learned to laugh again, to smile and to be content with myself.

If all your hopes and dreams crush, when you get hurt and loose your perspective in life, get inside of you and think of what really matters to you. The healing process is a long one and it takes time. It took me months. You will make small steps into the right direction, but suddenly a huge one back. Don't let it get you down. Push those thoughts that make you sad away and rely on the things that make you happy, your friends, your family, whatever it is it will give you strength and power. Your draw-backs will get less and smaller, and suddenly you notice that life is good.

I know...it sounds so easy and simple when someone says it, I know it's not. But I also know that it is possible. And I know that all of you have that strength inside of you to achieve whatever you want.

I am proud that I made it and I think I'm allowed to be. I'm proud of the person I am right now. And I don't regret anything that has happened in my life, because it made me to who I am: a self-confident young woman. Meet the new me.