On Going Home
I am 16 years old. I was born in India, but spent 13 years of my life in the US. New Jersey, to be specific. 3 years ago, I got on a plane to India. I haven't been home since.
Oh, I've been on a few planes since then. To Chennai. To Malaysia. To Singapore. Back to India. But none of them took me home, obviously. Three years is a long time. India is my home, in a sense. I have family here. I've made friends here. I feel a connection to my culture, to the sights and sounds and smells of a south Indian city.
But my first home was New Jersey. Every year since moving, I've asked my dad to take me home so I can visit my friends and just be in my town for a little while. Can you imagine three years without seeing your friends? It sucks.
My wish has finally been granted and I constantly thank God in the back of my mind. I have wanted to write all of this down but I was afraid I'd cry. There is a lump in my throat right now. But there is no better time to write this than now. The flight is tomorrow. I'll be at JFK Airport soon. I'll be home soon. But I wonder.
I have been playing Homecoming on repeat. I've been singing "We're coming hoooome agaaain" like a retard. But I wonder. How will it feel? What will I feel, other than happiness? Will I feel happiness?
I want to know what has changed. My friends, have they changed? I've kept in touch, but still I fear that they've become different people. I fear they won't care that I've flown across an ocean for them. I fear that I won't be as happy as I thought.
I want to go home so bad. I will be impatient during the flight. I will keep wondering if we're there yet. I am impatient now, waiting for the sun to rise. I am hopeful.
Has my town changed? Has it stayed the same? Have I changed? Will I still love it? I have this feeling in the back of my mind.
I think that when I finally step out of the airport, I will know. I will know what it's like to go home after three long years. I will know what its like to finally be cured of homesickness. And most of all, I will finally know if I still call it home.
But I don't know all those things yet. I have to wait and endure my time in the plane and the airport. Then, on June eleventh, I might finally be home again.
Oh, I've been on a few planes since then. To Chennai. To Malaysia. To Singapore. Back to India. But none of them took me home, obviously. Three years is a long time. India is my home, in a sense. I have family here. I've made friends here. I feel a connection to my culture, to the sights and sounds and smells of a south Indian city.
But my first home was New Jersey. Every year since moving, I've asked my dad to take me home so I can visit my friends and just be in my town for a little while. Can you imagine three years without seeing your friends? It sucks.
My wish has finally been granted and I constantly thank God in the back of my mind. I have wanted to write all of this down but I was afraid I'd cry. There is a lump in my throat right now. But there is no better time to write this than now. The flight is tomorrow. I'll be at JFK Airport soon. I'll be home soon. But I wonder.
I have been playing Homecoming on repeat. I've been singing "We're coming hoooome agaaain" like a retard. But I wonder. How will it feel? What will I feel, other than happiness? Will I feel happiness?
I want to know what has changed. My friends, have they changed? I've kept in touch, but still I fear that they've become different people. I fear they won't care that I've flown across an ocean for them. I fear that I won't be as happy as I thought.
I want to go home so bad. I will be impatient during the flight. I will keep wondering if we're there yet. I am impatient now, waiting for the sun to rise. I am hopeful.
Has my town changed? Has it stayed the same? Have I changed? Will I still love it? I have this feeling in the back of my mind.
I think that when I finally step out of the airport, I will know. I will know what it's like to go home after three long years. I will know what its like to finally be cured of homesickness. And most of all, I will finally know if I still call it home.
But I don't know all those things yet. I have to wait and endure my time in the plane and the airport. Then, on June eleventh, I might finally be home again.
wow sruti this blog touched me a lot and I'm so happy for you!! I know how much this has been your dream for so long. I hope you have a wonderful time at home. Good luck hun ^_^
and don't forget to tell us how it went ;)
Love, June 10th, 2008 at 07:02:30am
Aw, goody! I'm excited for you.
Have a safe flight, and good luck with everything.
Skippy., June 10th, 2008 at 05:07:05am
oh wow! man, this is such great news, i hoe you all the best for NJ, i hope that you meet up with your friends and have the most amazing time =]
Vegemite, June 10th, 2008 at 02:53:25am
I'm sure your friends have missed you just as much as you've missed them! It's got to be hard moving from one side of the earth and back again. It's normal to feel scared. I understand, though I've never been through something this big. I kinda see this as one of those first day of school things, you know, you're nervous because you haven't seen your friends or been with them for so long, but you still need and want to see them.
Good Luck!!! I hope all goes well with everything, the flight, reuniting with your friends and settling in back home!! You always have GSB to come to!
Barney Stinson, June 9th, 2008 at 09:01:58pm
Aw sruti, your friends will have missed you as much as you've missed them! I wish you a safe flight and a happy journet. (:
MiaThisIsUrgent., June 9th, 2008 at 08:47:35pm