I Hate It…
Hurting someone when it comes to a relationship.
So unintentionally, little things fall apart in places that leave us hurting so badly and will forever scar our souls.
Tonight I had to reject someone for the sheer reason I did not feel that way about him; he’s my friend and nothing more and sometimes I do wish I felt that way…just so it didn’t hurt. To say yes to him would give him false hope and I knew it had to be a no. The last guy, I left a flicker of hope within his mind and it caused us both too much pain…
But my main issue was that my first relationship was full of pain…hurt…betrayal.
How could I do that to someone else?
Our connection began to fall apart mid January, but we still talked, hung out, you know, all that stuff…then the week of Valentines Day he simply avoided me; I’d bought him something because although I don’t agree with the holiday it felt like the thing to do. So I’m there, a break, by our lockers, following P.E. where we always meet; he comes in, blanks me and begins kissing this other girl. I’ll never know if he saw me standing there…
That memory will never leave me.
It’s not so much the act…it just hurts that he did that without at least saying we’d broken up; avoiding someone does not count as dumping them…after 8 months together, too. The fact that he wouldn’t even tell me, like I didn’t matter, is what hurt.
I just sort of needed to put it all down in front of me and for too long have I ummed and aahed over whether or not to post this.
Sure, it’s not the end of the world for him, but that rejection, that’s just painful and I wish so much I could have avoided it…
…but I really couldn’t.
So unintentionally, little things fall apart in places that leave us hurting so badly and will forever scar our souls.
Tonight I had to reject someone for the sheer reason I did not feel that way about him; he’s my friend and nothing more and sometimes I do wish I felt that way…just so it didn’t hurt. To say yes to him would give him false hope and I knew it had to be a no. The last guy, I left a flicker of hope within his mind and it caused us both too much pain…
But my main issue was that my first relationship was full of pain…hurt…betrayal.
How could I do that to someone else?
Our connection began to fall apart mid January, but we still talked, hung out, you know, all that stuff…then the week of Valentines Day he simply avoided me; I’d bought him something because although I don’t agree with the holiday it felt like the thing to do. So I’m there, a break, by our lockers, following P.E. where we always meet; he comes in, blanks me and begins kissing this other girl. I’ll never know if he saw me standing there…
That memory will never leave me.
It’s not so much the act…it just hurts that he did that without at least saying we’d broken up; avoiding someone does not count as dumping them…after 8 months together, too. The fact that he wouldn’t even tell me, like I didn’t matter, is what hurt.
I just sort of needed to put it all down in front of me and for too long have I ummed and aahed over whether or not to post this.
Sure, it’s not the end of the world for him, but that rejection, that’s just painful and I wish so much I could have avoided it…
…but I really couldn’t.
