My Thoughts on Arranged Marriage and Child Brides
As an American, I know for a fact that I have many freedoms I take for granted every single day. While browsing about CNN I came across an article that really got to me, and made me realize that more than I usually do.
Nujood Ali was only ten years old when she married her husband- a man in his thirties. Her marriage was arranged by her family, she had no say in the matter. According to Nujood's father, Nujood's husband was not supposed to do anything sexual with her until she was in her 20s, however that didn't happen. Instead, she was raped and molested for months. In addition to sexual assault, she was the victim of physical beatings and mental torture.
When the abuse became too much for Nujood she went to her mother for help, but nothing changed. "When I heard, my heart burned for her," her mother said, but because she was married she was essentially the property of her husband now, and nothing could be done.
What makes this story even more heartbreaking is the fact that Nujood is only one girl, and there are millions more in similar situations. In the middle eastern country of Yemen where Nujood is from, over half of all girls are married before they even reach the age of 18. This practice is not discouraged by the government, in fact it's encouraged. The legal age for marriage used to be 15, but it was lowered ten years ago so that even younger children could be married.
Obviously arranged marriage is an aspect of culture, and many proponents of arranged marriage argue that opponents are culturally discriminating. My response to that is this: Of course different cultures have different customs, and they're certainly allowed to, but no practice that violates basic human rights is protected by culture. You cannot allow ten year old children to be raped and beaten, and argue that it's simply part of your culture. It infuriates me to think about the fact that people do so.
Everyone should have the right to privacy, to not be forced into a relationship that isn't their choice. No one should be exploited in the fashion that Nujood Ali was. Obviously, not all arranged marriages turn out like Nujood's, but enough of them do to show that the practice is flawed and dangerous.
Nujood was lucky, however, and she was able to escape from her marriage. While she was visiting her parents one day, she ran away to a central town court house. She then demanded to speak to a judge and requested a divorce. Her husband however, was not prosecuted for pedophilia, but he was compensated $200 for the loss of his wife.Nujood's human rights lawyer donated the money on her behalf. Sadly, not all girls in situations like Nujood's are as lucky.
Nujood Ali was only ten years old when she married her husband- a man in his thirties. Her marriage was arranged by her family, she had no say in the matter. According to Nujood's father, Nujood's husband was not supposed to do anything sexual with her until she was in her 20s, however that didn't happen. Instead, she was raped and molested for months. In addition to sexual assault, she was the victim of physical beatings and mental torture.
When the abuse became too much for Nujood she went to her mother for help, but nothing changed. "When I heard, my heart burned for her," her mother said, but because she was married she was essentially the property of her husband now, and nothing could be done.
What makes this story even more heartbreaking is the fact that Nujood is only one girl, and there are millions more in similar situations. In the middle eastern country of Yemen where Nujood is from, over half of all girls are married before they even reach the age of 18. This practice is not discouraged by the government, in fact it's encouraged. The legal age for marriage used to be 15, but it was lowered ten years ago so that even younger children could be married.
Obviously arranged marriage is an aspect of culture, and many proponents of arranged marriage argue that opponents are culturally discriminating. My response to that is this: Of course different cultures have different customs, and they're certainly allowed to, but no practice that violates basic human rights is protected by culture. You cannot allow ten year old children to be raped and beaten, and argue that it's simply part of your culture. It infuriates me to think about the fact that people do so.
Everyone should have the right to privacy, to not be forced into a relationship that isn't their choice. No one should be exploited in the fashion that Nujood Ali was. Obviously, not all arranged marriages turn out like Nujood's, but enough of them do to show that the practice is flawed and dangerous.
Nujood was lucky, however, and she was able to escape from her marriage. While she was visiting her parents one day, she ran away to a central town court house. She then demanded to speak to a judge and requested a divorce. Her husband however, was not prosecuted for pedophilia, but he was compensated $200 for the loss of his wife.Nujood's human rights lawyer donated the money on her behalf. Sadly, not all girls in situations like Nujood's are as lucky.
Comments
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ya, i did say i don't wanna insult each individual. i know threre are some good ones, but huge majority of those men are clearly pigs. not all. just most.
princess consuela, July 18th, 2008 at 01:10:18am
i really liked this blog, just by the way
it is really upsetting to know that this kind of thing goes on, and i really wish there was something i, or anyone for that matter, could do to stop it
moody fallon, July 17th, 2008 at 08:52:05pm
A Bloody Mistake , you're kind of singling out the whole Muslim religion as people who get arranged marriages and who rape their wives.
it's really not right to say those kinds of things about muslim people, there are many different variations of all religions.
do you honestly think that it's only muslims that have arranged marriages ? no, there is catholic people who get arranged marriages.
you know there ARE people who are with muslim men who don't convert religions or start to wear "veils" (i believe the correct term is Hijab, although i don't know how to spell it)
like, take for example, my mother has been dating a muslim man for 7 years. she isn't muslim, and she hasn't become muslim. AND she doesn't wear anything on her head.
i don't think that this blog was meant to rip on muslims and say that they were the only ones, i think that is was only an example of what happens.
not all muslim men are like that, contrary to what you think. muslim people can love people too.
and i, personally, think it's kind of disgusting to call a whole culture disgusting, thanks.
moody fallon, July 17th, 2008 at 08:50:00pm
i have talked to muslims, YES. and i also happen to know that girl i mentioned was not happy marrying the old man. and i do not insult individual people i insult their culture and there's a difference there. and why don't you try to live that life and we'll see how long you liek it that way. if those men have a right to stab their own family members BECAUSE THEY GOT RAPED, (which is obviously woman's fault to get raped!!) i think i have a right to say those people are f*cked. i'm not apologising the things i say!!!!!!!!!
princess consuela, July 17th, 2008 at 04:07:46pm
I agree with a bloody mistake.
schooldropout, July 17th, 2008 at 03:36:01pm
For the record I have no problems with Muslim culture and that wasn't the intention of this blog. it was simply to raise awareness of children human rights abuse.
and thank you all for the lovely comments.
Kurtni, July 17th, 2008 at 02:50:23pm
to "A Bloody Mistake": You dislike the Muslim Culture because of veils, etc? I tell you something: There is not ONE Muslim Culture, as there is not ONE Christian Culture or whatever... what do you know of Muslims? Do you only hear the news on Tv or do you actually also talk to Muslims before insulting them? I am not Muslim but sick of people like you that generalize people only because they belong to the same religion..
Kurtni, extremly well written blog!
soudain, July 17th, 2008 at 02:28:16pm
That's really unfortunate. It's tragic that young girls are married so young in cultures and countries like that. I can't imagine what it's like. I definitely agree with you.
Unfortunately, cultures that practice this have been like this forever. In their minds, women are simply property. It's disgusting in ours. I just can't imagine what this poor girl went through in her marriage. Any man who treats his wife, girlfriend or any women like this is sick.
Barney Stinson, July 17th, 2008 at 01:13:01pm
oh man that's disgusting.
muslim cultures are disgusting. i don't care what you say, I DO NOT LIKE THOSE PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THE WAY THEY TREAT WOMEN!!! and those women just let it happen. they should fight back, goddamnit!!!
i know this happens everywhere. even in my country, i heard some muslim girl was forced to marry some old man. someone i worked with knew this girl. i was shocked to hear it happens even here. like... jkgfbkhdölfld... uhhh..!!!!!!!!
i find veils disgusting. i find muslim culture disgusting and you know what... when i see those finnish women with veils and they have kids that are clearly colored, i wanna ask then "WTF??? why do you wanna do this to yourself???" there are girls that marry those muslim men and they start to wear veils!!!! it's f*cking lame. who is willing to do that if they don't have to??? that's sick.
princess consuela, July 17th, 2008 at 12:13:57pm
This is why I say screw men, I'm getting me a German Shepard. I always believed it was a human's right to decide who the hell they ended up with for the rest of their lives.
Addison Dewitt, July 16th, 2008 at 07:15:57pm
That makes me sick to my stomach. Poor girls. I don't think it's fair they're treated like property instead of human beings. Something really needs to be done about this ._. I mean, I understand arranged marriages is part of religion and stuff...but she's a human. She deserves happiness. I think she should decide to have either arranged or choose who she marries. =\
It's horrible that she was raped and stuff. my heart goes out to her and all the other girls in this situation=\
Bubble Wrap., July 16th, 2008 at 06:57:27pm
Poor girl.
It really makes me mad and sad at the same time, knowing that people in these days, on the twenty-first century, have to go through things like this.
brompton cocktail., July 16th, 2008 at 05:54:29pm
Poor little girl. =(
It's so sad that stuff like this happens, but nobody can do anything to stop it. I'm glad that American isn't like that. We all take our freedoms for granted.
In My Insanity, July 16th, 2008 at 05:30:08pm
i agree with you completely. while it may be their practice, it does not make the impact of rape and abuse any less. wonderful blog, kurtni. =]
get famous, July 16th, 2008 at 05:27:16pm
Stuff like this makes me really sad :(
My heart goes out to everyone in a similar situation.
CASTIEL, July 16th, 2008 at 04:38:28pm