Just go fuck off and DIE!!!

I'm deleting my previous blog.

I thought I would be happy. I thought I was okay. I was wrong.

Ben sucks. He sends me about 50 messages on YouTube a day, always sits at my table at lunchtime, and NEVER leaves me alone!

He can't even take a hint. I blocked him on YouTube, and he still won't let up in real life. Yesterday I had to go through so much shit just to get him to sit with HIS OWN DAMN FRIENDS!!! He's just not as awesome as I thought he was.

Yesterday, I was going to throw my tray away. (I mean literally throw it away even though the lunch ladies only meant throw your garbage on your tray away) So Ben comes up and starts talking to me. Like, as soon as I leave the fucking table!

So he asks me, "Hey, can I have your number?" and I told him no. He asks why and I tell him because, and he says "Oh yeah, Erin told me about how your step dad was following us. What a douche bag, getting into our business like that!"

That pissed me off so bad, in so many different ways, for so many different reasons! For one, since when does "ME" suddenly mean "US"? It took him a fucking year to get the guts to even talk to me, and all of a sudden when someone's following me and getting into my business, they're following us and getting into our business!

Then, he's always sending me nerd videos that I really don't care about on YouTube, and he tells me he misses me and loves me through fucking private messages!

I can't even go to my locker anymore without him being there! You know what I did? I took my backpack to 9th period, which I was late for because I was waiting for Ben to get to his next class, and then when it was over I grabbed my backpack, hid in Flynn's locker waiting for her, and we ran like hell. I just can't live like that.

I was so creeped out, that I skipped school. That's just about the only good thing about getting a flu shot, besides finding the perfect birthday card for my best friend.

We're from two different worlds, I swear. With me, it's all about the music and what stupid thing I'm going to do next to dismantle the establishment and make me and my friends laugh our asses off. With him, it's all about this "Cobra Commander" guy that I really couldn't care less about! Seriously, what's with this guy???

So, I'm going to break up with him. I don't care how terrible of me it is, or how much everyone will hate me, or what people will say. It's over. And I think I know how I'm gonna do it, too.

I'm gonna send him a message on YouTube, (after I unblock him) and ask why he likes me. He's going to give me a stupid answer, like "you're awesome" or something, and I'm going to tell him that that's just not good enough and send him the music video for MCR's song, "I Don't Love You".

It's just not worth it. He's too overbearing and clingy AND I NEED MY SPACE!!!

I'm just meant to be alone. So fuck it.

That's it. It's over.

I'm going back to obsessing over rockstars.
Posted on October 29th, 2008 at 12:55pm

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