Fading to change.
"Sarah I just don't know what's got into you lately, don't you care anymore?"
Things change, people change. Caring is never the issue, but realizing what I needed and wanted in life is. Starting to do things for yourself rather than others is a huge step and nonetheless difficult. Its taken me months to overcome the barrier of selfishness to realize that I am the most important person in my life. If i don't take care of myself, who will? You may think I'm being dismissive of others and quite rude but in all honesty, its true. Looking out for number one is the way to go. Other people have made me the way I am, sculpted my feelings and shaped my actions. I am the product of everything that anyone has ever said and done to me. So when you turn round and tell me I've changed, think about why.
"Your team spirit seems to have faded, its not like you."
My love for helping others still exists but when you realize that you get no appreciation or thanks for what you do, or even the slightest acknowledgment in everyday life, you begin to question your actions. I'm reliable but I'm no longer a push over, at work I'm taken for granted because I work damn hard and I'll do all i can to make sure everyone else's job can run smoothly too but after a while, i realized that no-one was doing the same for me, or recognizing my strengths and caring nature. Its always me - Don't worry, Sarah'll do it, she always does.
Well not anymore. I'm Sarah: an individual with feelings and love for life. I'm no longer going to be pushed around or treated badly. I'm in no way saying that I'll watch people struggle but I know limits now: I'll make damned sure I'm appreciated for what I do. I've changed but that's all thanks to you. I guess I should thank you, for making me who I am and allowing me to see what I needed to a long time ago.
I'm in one of those "i hate the world" moods. hence the quite blunt blog.
Things change, people change. Caring is never the issue, but realizing what I needed and wanted in life is. Starting to do things for yourself rather than others is a huge step and nonetheless difficult. Its taken me months to overcome the barrier of selfishness to realize that I am the most important person in my life. If i don't take care of myself, who will? You may think I'm being dismissive of others and quite rude but in all honesty, its true. Looking out for number one is the way to go. Other people have made me the way I am, sculpted my feelings and shaped my actions. I am the product of everything that anyone has ever said and done to me. So when you turn round and tell me I've changed, think about why.
"Your team spirit seems to have faded, its not like you."
My love for helping others still exists but when you realize that you get no appreciation or thanks for what you do, or even the slightest acknowledgment in everyday life, you begin to question your actions. I'm reliable but I'm no longer a push over, at work I'm taken for granted because I work damn hard and I'll do all i can to make sure everyone else's job can run smoothly too but after a while, i realized that no-one was doing the same for me, or recognizing my strengths and caring nature. Its always me - Don't worry, Sarah'll do it, she always does.
Well not anymore. I'm Sarah: an individual with feelings and love for life. I'm no longer going to be pushed around or treated badly. I'm in no way saying that I'll watch people struggle but I know limits now: I'll make damned sure I'm appreciated for what I do. I've changed but that's all thanks to you. I guess I should thank you, for making me who I am and allowing me to see what I needed to a long time ago.
I'm in one of those "i hate the world" moods. hence the quite blunt blog.
CRUD D:
ok i fail at life i so did not see that.
paper heart., December 31st, 2008 at 04:55:17am
lmfao.
"You can use BBcode for bold and italic text"
Not underline. xDD
Skippy., December 30th, 2008 at 09:25:28pm
cyeah well id like to see you work it bubs D:
ahem just been caught rocking out to "i just cant wait to be king" aka lion king
awweh you nukkah and yer tears
sazzeh is a fool but she's my fooo' and there's no other foo' better then her (:
and in reference to your blahblah
ahem he wishes - >(_______________________________)
he is - > (_______)
i think you catch my drift :tehe:
but seriously boohissboo @ bbcode D<
paper heart., December 30th, 2008 at 11:27:36am
you seriously fail@bbcode xDDD ahaa.
thankssss girly. that means a lot to me.
ergh. i wish you weren't so nice half the time, cos i always end up in tears xD
nahh, the tears are worth it :D
i'm glad we've known each other all this time, i couldn't possibly have become the person i am today without your help along the way. and i mean that, with all my heart.
i love you fooo', even if you can't work bbcode :D
<3
thanksss skippy!
serenade sarahh, December 30th, 2008 at 09:33:25am
epic fail @ bbcode
what's up with that please?!
im sure to get underline you type [u]text[/u].
grr.
watch as it works now.
paper heart., December 30th, 2008 at 09:23:32am
I'm not going to be all aww saz why
because you know what?
I'm darn proud of you hun
its about time you put yourself first, and see i told you those people would come running the minute they relised what they were missing out on.
That takes serious courage you know?
It's quite easy for us to change for others, we can survive of the praise we get when we change, it takes alot more though to change for yourself for what you know is right because you have to put with other people's stick, thats admirable.
(Y)
[u]Some might say[/u] that sunshine follows thunder
Go and tell it to the man who cannot shine
point of that oasis lyric was that people can talk crap, it doesnt matter dillysquat
(hush you i know you're giggling at that word foo)
until you say it counts.
You're a wonderful lass Sarah, I'm well glad for the years we've known each other, dead grateful too to have a mate like you, and hunny I'm not losing you to anyone, not even freakin "neds" who've got their heads shoved up so far up their backside they aint ever seeing the light of day again.
iloveyouu<3
Some might say we will find a brighter day
paper heart., December 30th, 2008 at 09:20:11am
I enjoyed this blog. It's good. :]
Skippy., December 30th, 2008 at 07:23:14am