I am my own social circle.

I'm wondering what I should do with my life. Its been really hard for me to adjust to living in this dorm. I currently stay two hours away from my home in Arizona at a boarding school. I do have fun here, and I do get to put up my posters on my wall but its been really hard for me to get to know everybody.
Ever since day one, I've always been alone. All the people that I've talked to and all the people that have hung out with me have abandoned me. I have a pretty clear idea of what I'm going to do for school wise. I'm going to attend UC Berkeley and major in English Lit. and Social Psychology. The only problem is that no one thinks that I can do it. I always try to tell them that I can, I've proved to them that I can stay on the honor roll but they still don't believe me. I think that they've actually lost all hope for me just because my sister HAD to drop out of school. (Her rent was too much and she couldn't live there anymore on her salary) I may look like my sister, but I am my own person. I get pretty tired of everywhere I go people always tell me that I look like someone in my family, or I act just like them. It gets frustrating.
I came to school here so that I could get into a good college and make a good life for myself but everyone just limits me to things that my sister has done. (she came here for highschool and graduated the year before I got here). I'm just waiting for someone to realize that I can be independent and my own person.
The people that I've spoken to and hung out with at the very beginning of the year all left and they're off on their own. I don't know. Maybe its because I'm such a quiet person. I got too used to not saying anything unless I was spoken too. My step-mom implanted that type of behavior in me. Now its gotten to the point where I don't even say anything even when people do say something to me. I just nod my head.

This is why I say I am my own social circle. In the end, I just end up alone with nothing to do but watch people talk to each other all around me. I'm always alone in a room full of people.
Posted on March 5th, 2007 at 10:34pm

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