Surgery, songwriting, irritating mood swings, and the bitterness of reality

I was bored, so I decided to create a blog about everything that happened today. As Green Day would say, do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?

Well, first of all, I had to have four teeth pulled today in order to eventually get braces (I should've gotten them a few years ago, but I didn't), and I was told that there might be some side effects after the teeth had been removed due to the sedative I'd have to have. For example, it may interfere with my hormones, and I might start crying for no reason at all.

Those of you who have certain mental disorders and must regularly take medication will understand this part. I'll be honest, I'm one of those people, and along with eating and drinking, I couldn't take the medication either before the surgery. I just felt like I was beginning to lose my mind. Have you ever felt like this before?

So I had my teeth pulled that morning and it was strange. Once the narcotic in the IV kicked in, I began to feel euphoric, then dizzy, and then I blacked out. My sense of time got a little screwed up when everything was done, and I even started to semi-hallucinate a little. The whole thing was really...weird.

I'm a guitarist and a songwriter, so I decided to create a song about how I felt when this happened...kind of like a drug song, only not. I wanted to share it with my friend, so that's what I did. I think the sedative DID have some side effects concerning my mood (which would explain why I was on the verge of tears at dinner tonight when a grain of couscous got stuck in the socket where my tooth used to be), and I was in hysterics when that particular friend told me she didn't exactly like the song that I'd written (she'd also called it "kinda boring" ). I guess it got me thinking about the songs I write in general and if other people liked them as much as I did.

This really upset me, because I'm trying as hard as I can to form a band and get into the music industry. I love writing songs and playing my guitar, and it'd be great if I could eventually do that as a career. And today, when my friend criticized the song I wrote, I started obsessing over how unlikely it seemed that I'd ever achieve my dream. I realized that I was probably getting my hopes up too high.

I don't know. If that medicine that was injected into my veins this morning hasn't completely worn off, that might be the problem. Or maybe it was the pills that I didn't take until the afternoon. Or maybe I'm just crazy.

Is this kind of thing normal?

I know...I sound insanely negative...I guess it's just been one of those days. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.