He just makes me so angry.
Hey guys, I'm really needing to vent about some juvenile drama that's going on, so bear with me, I'm starting from the beginning.
(Prepare yourself for some High School drama)
Way back in grade nine, I dated a guy called Jordan. He was kind of integrated in to our circle of friends through me, and became good friends with a lot of my friends. Again, this was grade nine, we were 15, so it was nothing super serious. When we broke up, I accepted that he wasn't just going to disappear because we shared many friends, and I was mostly fine with that. I started to really dislike him almost immediately after, when he started chasing after my best friend, Allie. I tried to explain to him that it just showed a lack of respect for him to be going after my best friend within a week of us breaking up, but he was a complete ass about it. Allie was really great through all this, we have been best friends since we were five years old, and she said she was fine being friends with him, but did NOT want to date him (one, because she genuinely didn't want to, but two, because she wouldn't have wanted to do that to me).
This made Jordan angry, as he was convinced that if I wasn't in the picture, Allie would run across fields of daisies into his arms and they would live happily ever after. He believed that I was the only thing preventing this from happening, as if I was threatening to end my friendship with Allie if that happened, when really, she really just did not want to go out with him.
Basically, this caused Jordan to be extremely resentful and mean to me throughout the rest of my high school experience. He remained in our "group" so I had to deal with sarcastic comments to my face and behind my back, added to the fact that he really just grew up to be not a very nice person. Oh, and he was also convinced that what caused all this was me being in love with him still, which I can assure you, just the thought makes me vomit a little in my mouth.
Fast forward a few years to college. I'm still friends with everyone from high school, as is he, but because of everyone's vastly different schedules now, I'm not forced to hang out with him nearly as much. Yet, any time he can, he still takes jabs at me. Several times at school, I hung out with him and Allie during a break between classes, and everything was my fault. A specific example would take to long to write, but essentially he would tell Allie, "You're such a bitch when you're with Erin" when really, she was acting (not very bitchy, I might add) just of her own accord. I really don't care that she's friends with him, I'm not out to make his life miserable!
What set off this blog was the fact that Allie invited me to go to the local Six Flags with a bunch of high school people this week. Allie and I have been going to the amusement park several times a summer since we were 12, it's something we always do together or with a group, but always at least her and I. Apparently, Jordan texted her saying "Who invited Erin to this? Not cool." Now even Allie is annoyed, because she's not just going to ditch her best friend because another friend (who often gets on her nerves for being whiny) doesn't like her.
I'm honestly at a loss to what to do right now. I've always tried my best to be neutral towards this guy. We're never going to be best friends, but I've accepted that we have the same friends, so I'm going to be seeing him. I don't know why he can't do the same! I don't know why he still hates me, I mean, this all started in Grade Nine, for christ sakes. We're grown ups now, I just wish he could be civil towards me, since I'm not going to be going anywhere, like he would want. Allie and I have been unfaltering best friends since childhood, and if he wants to be friends with her, I wish he would at least ACCEPT that I'm going to be a part of this.
(Prepare yourself for some High School drama)
Way back in grade nine, I dated a guy called Jordan. He was kind of integrated in to our circle of friends through me, and became good friends with a lot of my friends. Again, this was grade nine, we were 15, so it was nothing super serious. When we broke up, I accepted that he wasn't just going to disappear because we shared many friends, and I was mostly fine with that. I started to really dislike him almost immediately after, when he started chasing after my best friend, Allie. I tried to explain to him that it just showed a lack of respect for him to be going after my best friend within a week of us breaking up, but he was a complete ass about it. Allie was really great through all this, we have been best friends since we were five years old, and she said she was fine being friends with him, but did NOT want to date him (one, because she genuinely didn't want to, but two, because she wouldn't have wanted to do that to me).
This made Jordan angry, as he was convinced that if I wasn't in the picture, Allie would run across fields of daisies into his arms and they would live happily ever after. He believed that I was the only thing preventing this from happening, as if I was threatening to end my friendship with Allie if that happened, when really, she really just did not want to go out with him.
Basically, this caused Jordan to be extremely resentful and mean to me throughout the rest of my high school experience. He remained in our "group" so I had to deal with sarcastic comments to my face and behind my back, added to the fact that he really just grew up to be not a very nice person. Oh, and he was also convinced that what caused all this was me being in love with him still, which I can assure you, just the thought makes me vomit a little in my mouth.
Fast forward a few years to college. I'm still friends with everyone from high school, as is he, but because of everyone's vastly different schedules now, I'm not forced to hang out with him nearly as much. Yet, any time he can, he still takes jabs at me. Several times at school, I hung out with him and Allie during a break between classes, and everything was my fault. A specific example would take to long to write, but essentially he would tell Allie, "You're such a bitch when you're with Erin" when really, she was acting (not very bitchy, I might add) just of her own accord. I really don't care that she's friends with him, I'm not out to make his life miserable!
What set off this blog was the fact that Allie invited me to go to the local Six Flags with a bunch of high school people this week. Allie and I have been going to the amusement park several times a summer since we were 12, it's something we always do together or with a group, but always at least her and I. Apparently, Jordan texted her saying "Who invited Erin to this? Not cool." Now even Allie is annoyed, because she's not just going to ditch her best friend because another friend (who often gets on her nerves for being whiny) doesn't like her.
I'm honestly at a loss to what to do right now. I've always tried my best to be neutral towards this guy. We're never going to be best friends, but I've accepted that we have the same friends, so I'm going to be seeing him. I don't know why he can't do the same! I don't know why he still hates me, I mean, this all started in Grade Nine, for christ sakes. We're grown ups now, I just wish he could be civil towards me, since I'm not going to be going anywhere, like he would want. Allie and I have been unfaltering best friends since childhood, and if he wants to be friends with her, I wish he would at least ACCEPT that I'm going to be a part of this.
What a jerk. He is being immature and just a big ass. He has no right to piss all over you. Big meany.
TessicaT.Kirk, June 7th, 2010 at 01:09:32pm
Tell him to get a grip on something other than his penis
The SquirrelMeister, June 6th, 2010 at 05:27:57pm
LOL
wanderlust, June 6th, 2010 at 06:26:15pm
Formulate a calm, even plan of attack.
:)
What a bastard xD
Tell him to get a grip on something other than his penis and to grow the feck up!
TO BE DELETED, June 6th, 2010 at 05:27:57pm
I've been considering formulating a calm, even, message to him, presenting the facts on why he really has NO REASON to be such a jerkoff to me, But I'm worried I'll get out of hand and let it all out (Which I should, but then he would get the satisfaction of telling everyone what a psycho b*tch I am).
Idk. If anything, it will be an email/fb message, because I CANNOT DEAL with him in person.
Thanks for the help though guys <3
wanderlust, June 6th, 2010 at 04:45:12pm
I have a similar problem atm, only remove any reason instead of the grudge holding. Comfront him privately, somewhere you can record the coversation, get him to explain and if he doesnt/cant at least openly come out as a jackass; show mutual friends. Then just be really nice to everyone and wait until they see him for what he is.
Yay!, June 6th, 2010 at 03:18:21pm
I'm probably WAY off here...but I bet this guy has some sort of unresolved feelings for you. It's just so weird that he would have so much resentment and put that much energy into hating you for so long...Idk. Uber props to your best friend for not just going along with him and being a douche... If I were you, I'd...I'd probably chew him out and let him know what an immature jerkoff he is, and that he needs to grow up and act like a man instead of a spoilt child. However, I'm not actually sure that would accomplish anything, so...
:[
I'm sorry. I'm horrible at advice. But I think so far you've handled this situation really well. I hope you manage to work thinghs out.
banquo, June 6th, 2010 at 03:14:47pm