less is more except when it comes to mistakes
So while I've been pregnant I've had to put up with something I shouldn't have had to deal with ever; cheating. My boyfriend went to basic training and AIT for the army while I've been pregnant. He got home December 15, 2010. He moved in immediately when he got home. He started working January 1, 2011 at a place he worked previously. I went through his facebook messages and found a message sent to an army girl he had met. I didn't read her response.
When confronted, he lied about it. He said his friend wrote it to her and they had talked back and forth. Stupid me, I believed him. About two weeks ago I was curious what the response was. I looked through his messages and had my heart completely shattered. She responded saying she loved him and stated his name, not his friends. My whole body ached and I cried hysterically. I asked my parents to help me make it stop hurting, I begged myself to stop thinking about it. But I couldn't, and I can't, stop thinking about it.It hurts more because he had wrote that she was the most amazing woman he'd ever met and the only reason they couldn't be together was her boyfriend. He had completely forgotten his son and I. It kills me.
I also found another message he'd sent to his ex girlfriend on October 19, 2010. Four days after we'd found out the sex of our baby. He'd told her how perfect her body was, how much he missed her and that he was in love with her and didn't know what to do. Before I got pregnant I'd struggled with an eating disorder and I've NEVER felt comfortable with my body. Being pregnant, I have to eat. I have to gain weight. I have to take care of my son first. I have to put aside my personal feelings about my body. That killed me reading that message. She's perfect and I'm not. I'll never look like her. And I honestly don't want to. I don't think she's that attractive. But regardless, I'll never be what he wants.
He apologized and we're trying to work on our relationship. He says he loves me and only me but I can't shake this feeling. I don't know what to do. I'm only staying with him so I can tell my son one day that I tried for him. Even if it's killing me everyday to come home to him, to lay in bed with him, to pretend nothing happened. It's killing me inside. But I feel like I owe it to my son to try. I don't know what to do. It hurts so bad.
When confronted, he lied about it. He said his friend wrote it to her and they had talked back and forth. Stupid me, I believed him. About two weeks ago I was curious what the response was. I looked through his messages and had my heart completely shattered. She responded saying she loved him and stated his name, not his friends. My whole body ached and I cried hysterically. I asked my parents to help me make it stop hurting, I begged myself to stop thinking about it. But I couldn't, and I can't, stop thinking about it.It hurts more because he had wrote that she was the most amazing woman he'd ever met and the only reason they couldn't be together was her boyfriend. He had completely forgotten his son and I. It kills me.
I also found another message he'd sent to his ex girlfriend on October 19, 2010. Four days after we'd found out the sex of our baby. He'd told her how perfect her body was, how much he missed her and that he was in love with her and didn't know what to do. Before I got pregnant I'd struggled with an eating disorder and I've NEVER felt comfortable with my body. Being pregnant, I have to eat. I have to gain weight. I have to take care of my son first. I have to put aside my personal feelings about my body. That killed me reading that message. She's perfect and I'm not. I'll never look like her. And I honestly don't want to. I don't think she's that attractive. But regardless, I'll never be what he wants.
He apologized and we're trying to work on our relationship. He says he loves me and only me but I can't shake this feeling. I don't know what to do. I'm only staying with him so I can tell my son one day that I tried for him. Even if it's killing me everyday to come home to him, to lay in bed with him, to pretend nothing happened. It's killing me inside. But I feel like I owe it to my son to try. I don't know what to do. It hurts so bad.
Jen, I'm letting you know from experience, it most likely won't get better. You can try to set it aside all you want, but it won't work in the long run.
I went months and months knowing Justin's dad was having sex with other girls (while I was pregnant and after I'd had the baby). I tried shoving it to the back of my mind for the longest time. It didn't work. It sent me into a deep depression, which I am now taking meds for.
Staying together solely for the baby is not the way to go either. I've tried, and I regret it. I don't want the same to happen to you.
Billie's Willie, March 29th, 2011 at 10:49:12pm
I know this sounds awful, but you're doing yourself a massive disservice. Having a fathers all well and good, but this guy is going to hurt you again and again and even if he didn't ever cheat again, to have all that resentment and pain around him from the word go is only going to damage him more. It really doesn't sound like you love this guy anymore anyway. I really think you should consider it from another angle.
Yay!, February 24th, 2011 at 06:09:52pm
I'm sorry about all of this. Honestly, it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is ready to be a father. He's obviously not mature enough for the big responsibility that is parenting. Maybe and hopefully when your son is born, things will change.
Barney Stinson, February 22nd, 2011 at 12:02:43pm
What a douche.
Kick his f*ckin' ass. Father to your baby or not, this is disgusting behaviour and I'm torn between whether or not to advise you to keep him or chuck him. I guess it's better for a child to have loving parents. Key emphasis on the loving.
If he's prepared to forget the two of you so quickly...
TO BE DELETED, February 21st, 2011 at 04:37:41pm
I'm so, so sorry to hear about this. He sounds so vile. I don't have any advice for you, I'm afraid, but I hope that whatever happens is for the best, both for you and your baby. :hug:
MAD CUNT, February 21st, 2011 at 02:38:21pm