My life in a can

Everyone can feel when they're finally 'growing up'. When I grew up I realized it was when I lost my innocence. I believe it's the same for everyone. There are many ways you can lose your innocence. It can happen to you by watching someone die, feeling the pain afterwards, coming to terms with the fact that you have to be independent from this point on, learning the difference between being sad and depressed and letting life do whatever the fuck it wants to do. On my 15th birthday, I had realized that all these things happened to me, and I felt for the first time in my life that I was no longer that child I always thought I was. I might still be treated like one, but in no way was I a child anymore.

Learning about life was difficult for me. I guess it is for every teenager, because apparently we're all "punk, gothic or emo" and we're all as equally depressed as eachother. It's hard to believe that anyone is more depressed then yourself, but at the same time it's hard to believe the statistics that 1 in 3 people have never been depressed in their lives.

I always thought it could happen to absolutley anyone. I come from a typical middle class family, I have two older sisters who have looked after me through life and think of me as their own child. My father was never much of a role model to me but my mum was and always will be my lifeline. Sometimes, however, I catch myself subconsiously thinking to myself that I'd rather be a drug addict on the side of the road with no family and no life apart from drugs. I think the reason for that is because the only thing stopping me from living a carefree life full of drugs and rock and roll, is my family. I force myself to thank them for that in a way. My family is great, I go to a private Greek school but I'm going throughout life unnoticed and neglected and if I have to live life like that, I'd rather do it my own way, so at least I can enjoy it.
Posted on March 30th, 2007 at 06:44am


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