One of my favourits comdies of all time. I <3 Micheal Palin and John Cleese. I though it was the best. Life of Brian is good too, though., Meh, I might as well post one of my favourite scenes.
Scene 5
Crowd: A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We've found a witch! We've found a witch!
Villager: We have found a witch. May we burn her?
Crowd: Burn her! Burn!
Sir Bedevere: How do you know she is a witch?
Villager: She looks like one.
Sir Bedevere: Bring her forward.
Connie Booth <3 The Witch: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
Sir Bedevere: Ah, but you are dressed as one.
The Witch: They dressed me up like this.
Villager #1: Oh, we didn't! We didn't...
The Witch: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
Sir Bedevere: Well?
Villager #1: Well, we did do the nose.
Sir Bedevere: The nose?
Villager #1: And the hat, but she is a witch!
Villager #2: Yeah!
Sir Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?
Villager #1: No!
Villager #2: No.
Villager #2: No.
Villager #1: No.
Villager #3: No.
Villager #1: Yes.
Villager #2: Yes.
Villager #1: Yes. Yeah, a bit.
Villager #3: A bit.
Villager #1 and #2: A bit.
Villager #3: A bit.
Villager #1: She has got a wart.
Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she is a witch?
Villager #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
(Pause.)
Villager #3: I got better.
Villager #2: Burn her anyway!
Crowd: Burn her!
Sir Bedevere: Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Villager #1: Are there?
Villager #2: Ah?
Villager #1: What are they?
Crowd: Tell us!
Sir Bedevere: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
Villager #2: Burn!
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn apart from witches?
Villager #1: More witches!
Villager #2: Wood!
Sir Bedevere: So, why do witches burn?
(Pause...Everyone thinking hard...)
Villager #3: Because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good!
(All congratulating him.)
Sir Bedevere: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
Villager #1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Villager #1: Oh, yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Villager #1: No. No.
Villager #2: No, it floats! It floats!
Villager #1: Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: What also floats in water?
Villager #1: Bread!
Villager #2: Apples!
Villager #3: Um, very small rocks!
Villager #1: Cider!
Villager #2: Uh, gravy!
Villager #1: Cherries!
Villager #2: Mud!
Villager #3: Churches!
Villager #2: Lead!
King Arthur: A duck!
Sir Bedevere: Exactly. So, logically...
Villager #1: If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore?
Villager #2: A witch!
Villager #1: A witch!
Crowd: A witch!
Sir Bedevere: We shall use my largest scales.
Sir Bedevere: Right. Remove the supports!
Crowd: A witch! A witch! A witch!
The Witch: It's a fair cop.
Villager #3: Burn her!
Crowd: Burn her!
I have this scene pretty well memorized, but I had to watch that part again, but I love it anyways.
