Victim vs. Offender

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Author	Message
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289	July 28th, 2007 at 07:29pm The Rapist vs. The Raped The Theif vs. The One Stolen From The Pedophile vs. The Child The Murderer vs. The Dead The Kidnapper vs. The Kidnapped The Violent vs. The Abused Who is the victim in these situations? Who is to blame? I'm sure it seems quite obvious to all of us, but there is 2 sides to any arguement...According to some people, crimes can be blamed on the victims. "A woman wouldn't have been raped if she hadn't been drinking and behaving flirtatiously" According to a british poll, 1/3 of people believe its the womans fault shes raped. (Im not singling brits out, I just couldn't find another statistic. Im sure America's is similar) "If people had higher security, they wouldn't be robbed." "If teenage girls didn't behave so stupidly online, they wouldn't be molested." "If people didn't put themselves in difficult situations, there would be less murders." "If parents didn't leave their children unattended, they wouldn't be kidnapped." "If children behaved better, they wouldn't be abused." "He wouldnt hit her if she didn't aggrivate him so much" I see many women say-oh I didn’t leave because of the children, when in truth they didn’t leave because they were scared, or financially dependent or just too lazy to make the huge change - http://www.intentblog.com/archives/2006/05/should_women_be.html My opinion on the matter; totally and completely ridiculous. A victim is never to blame for the crimes commited against them. In some cases, yes, they may have been able to possibly prevent a crime, but that in no way, shape or form makes them at fault. I don't care if a woman is sitting tied up naked with a pretty red bow on her head in a dark alley, that does not make it acceptable to rape her. That doesn't mean its her fault that sick predators exist who would take advantage of her. As soon as you place blame on the victim, you're justifying the actions of a criminal. Many victims could have done absolutely nothing different to prevent a crime. Case in point; Elizabeth Smart. She was kidnapped in her own home with her parents present. And people still deem it fit to say that children wouldn't be kidnapped if their parents paid more attention? No amount of carefulness will change the fact that sick people exist in this world who commit horrible crimes. How can you blame parents for the existance of people? Victim blaming attitudes cause many abused people to not seek help. Like the quote I used above, some people feel women don't leave abusive relationships simply because they're lazy. How can they reach out to get help when they're being told its their fault? I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to live in a situation like that and I hope I never find out. Not only are people blaming them, they're blaming themselves. The psychological damage done can be beyond repair at times. And does it matter what the victim does anyways? Even if they are aggrivating someone and pushing their buttons, does that make it ok to abuse them? Definitely not. Your opinions on this subject please...
Anji Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 15914	July 28th, 2007 at 08:01pm I agree that the victim is never to blame. You pretty much said everything I was going to say. Great minds.
missand Geek Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 102	July 28th, 2007 at 08:56pm It depends on the situation.
Jax. Was Here Two Weeks Ago Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 42834	July 28th, 2007 at 09:10pm Meh, I say the offender is to blame. Especially that thing about the rape. WTF @ that. But then I can kinda see about the security one. But people just shouldn't do it.
Anji Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 15914	July 28th, 2007 at 09:13pm The only thing I can understand is if someone if flaunting, I mean, really showing off their affluence and then they get robbed, they had it coming.
Ol' Blue Eyes. King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 4816	July 28th, 2007 at 09:36pm Basically, the only thing you stated that I disagree with is about the girls behaving stupidly online. That I completely blame on them.
Meski Addict Age: 32 Gender: Male Posts: 14856	July 28th, 2007 at 09:46pm Well yeah, most teenage girls are raped because they're stupid teenie whores who just want to get laid. I think that in that case it's their fault, also the pedophile's fault, for wanting to have sex with an underage girl knowing that she's underage.
Sherlock Holmes Addict Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 10375	July 28th, 2007 at 11:20pm Sometimes I wonder if the offender got lead into it by someone...That would make them a victim of peer pressure...I don't know...
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289	July 28th, 2007 at 11:31pm Ol' Blue Eyes.: Basically, the only thing you stated that I disagree with is about the girls behaving stupidly online. That I completely blame on them. But what makes those girls behave that way online? What makes them want to look so much older and throw themselves out their like that? They've just been influenced by the media, and it isnt their fault they haven't had anyone to tell them "Hey, don't listen to that". They do it to feel older and more mature, and alot of them are just totally oblivious to the fact that they could get hurt. Thats not their fault. Thats all of societies fault for allowing such a warped image to be put into young girls minds. And even then, with their behaviour, it isnt their fault that pedophiles exist. They didn't create them, they weren't thinking "I want to be sexually abused", they were thinking "Wow, this makes me mature" and they were taken advantage of because of that.
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289	July 28th, 2007 at 11:32pm Anji: The only thing I can understand is if someone if flaunting, I mean, really showing off their affluence and then they get robbed, they had it coming. They may have had it coming, and that was stupid to do. But it still isn't their fault that people have no respect and steal.
SkittyOhGadz Banned Age: - Gender: Male Posts: 641	July 29th, 2007 at 02:29am I agree, but as many people have the mindset where "the victim should never be blamed, the offender should always be blamed" this can lead to problems for the offender in situations. For example, you see on these daytime television programmes girls pretending that their mother's boyfriend has raped them. Everyone obviously believes the girl and the man, who is often innocent, has to suffer. When girls pretend to do this it's usually from jealousy/for attention, because they feel ignored by their mothers.
Plug In Baby. Addict Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 11334	July 29th, 2007 at 04:19am Meski: Well yeah, most teenage girls are raped because they're stupid teenie whores who just want to get laid. I think that in that case it's their fault, also the pedophile's fault, for wanting to have sex with an underage girl knowing that she's underage. No way! It's never their fault! No one deserves to be raped. Besides, do you have statistics for that? That most teenage girls who are raped are raped because they're "stupid teenie whores who just want to get laid" ?
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289	July 29th, 2007 at 04:56am Roonil Wazlib: I agree, but as many people have the mindset where "the victim should never be blamed, the offender should always be blamed" this can lead to problems for the offender in situations. For example, you see on these daytime television programmes girls pretending that their mother's boyfriend has raped them. Everyone obviously believes the girl and the man, who is often innocent, has to suffer. When girls pretend to do this it's usually from jealousy/for attention, because they feel ignored by their mothers. In that case, the teenage girl would be the offender. Lying about stuff like that could cause serious, serious problems. Although, if she was neglected by her mother I can see how she could be the victim in a way too, but that wouldn't justify lying.
Anji Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 15914	July 29th, 2007 at 11:01am Kurtni: Anji: The only thing I can understand is if someone if flaunting, I mean, really showing off their affluence and then they get robbed, they had it coming. They may have had it coming, and that was stupid to do. But it still isn't their fault that people have no respect and steal. Cleptomaniacs can't help it. But they are usually hopeless people who don't even care about stuff being shoved under their noses and usully go fo useless trinkets.
Ol' Blue Eyes. King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 4816	July 29th, 2007 at 07:49pm Kurtni: Ol' Blue Eyes.: Basically, the only thing you stated that I disagree with is about the girls behaving stupidly online. That I completely blame on them. But what makes those girls behave that way online? What makes them want to look so much older and throw themselves out their like that? They've just been influenced by the media, and it isnt their fault they haven't had anyone to tell them "Hey, don't listen to that". They do it to feel older and more mature, and alot of them are just totally oblivious to the fact that they could get hurt. Thats not their fault. Thats all of societies fault for allowing such a warped image to be put into young girls minds. And even then, with their behaviour, it isnt their fault that pedophiles exist. They didn't create them, they weren't thinking "I want to be sexually abused", they were thinking "Wow, this makes me mature" and they were taken advantage of because of that. But the media also says, time and again, do not post addresses, last names, contact info, etc, online. And if they choose to ignore that, then its just common sense. Unless you know for certain that the person you're talking to isn't a creepy pedophile, don't give them ways to contact you, don't run off to see them.
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289	July 29th, 2007 at 09:34pm Ol' Blue Eyes.: Kurtni: Ol' Blue Eyes.: Basically, the only thing you stated that I disagree with is about the girls behaving stupidly online. That I completely blame on them. But what makes those girls behave that way online? What makes them want to look so much older and throw themselves out their like that? They've just been influenced by the media, and it isnt their fault they haven't had anyone to tell them "Hey, don't listen to that". They do it to feel older and more mature, and alot of them are just totally oblivious to the fact that they could get hurt. Thats not their fault. Thats all of societies fault for allowing such a warped image to be put into young girls minds. And even then, with their behaviour, it isnt their fault that pedophiles exist. They didn't create them, they weren't thinking "I want to be sexually abused", they were thinking "Wow, this makes me mature" and they were taken advantage of because of that. But the media also says, time and again, do not post addresses, last names, contact info, etc, online. And if they choose to ignore that, then its just common sense. Unless you know for certain that the person you're talking to isn't a creepy pedophile, don't give them ways to contact you, don't run off to see them. Oh, I know exactly what you're saying. They do stupid, stupid things, and to us it just seems like common sense... but it isn't for them. Alot of pedophile abductions that start over the internet could probably be prevented if girls didn't do things like that. But, even if they do give someone all that information, it wouldn't make it ok for someone to molest them. And you can't blame the girl for pedophiles existing, thats not her fault.
Comic tragedy Idiot Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 546	July 30th, 2007 at 02:59am missand: It depends on the situation.
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289	July 30th, 2007 at 05:38am NeoSteph: Rule 6: NO BLANK QUOTES, it's considered spam, if you agree with someone, then add to the discussion don't just repeat. Reeead me
Ol' Blue Eyes. King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 4816	July 30th, 2007 at 04:33pm Kurtni: Ol' Blue Eyes.: Kurtni: Ol' Blue Eyes.: Basically, the only thing you stated that I disagree with is about the girls behaving stupidly online. That I completely blame on them. But what makes those girls behave that way online? What makes them want to look so much older and throw themselves out their like that? They've just been influenced by the media, and it isnt their fault they haven't had anyone to tell them "Hey, don't listen to that". They do it to feel older and more mature, and alot of them are just totally oblivious to the fact that they could get hurt. Thats not their fault. Thats all of societies fault for allowing such a warped image to be put into young girls minds. And even then, with their behaviour, it isnt their fault that pedophiles exist. They didn't create them, they weren't thinking "I want to be sexually abused", they were thinking "Wow, this makes me mature" and they were taken advantage of because of that. But the media also says, time and again, do not post addresses, last names, contact info, etc, online. And if they choose to ignore that, then its just common sense. Unless you know for certain that the person you're talking to isn't a creepy pedophile, don't give them ways to contact you, don't run off to see them. Oh, I know exactly what you're saying. They do stupid, stupid things, and to us it just seems like common sense... but it isn't for them. Alot of pedophile abductions that start over the internet could probably be prevented if girls didn't do things like that. But, even if they do give someone all that information, it wouldn't make it ok for someone to molest them. And you can't blame the girl for pedophiles existing, thats not her fault. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think both parties are responsible. The girls shouldn't have given out the information, and the molesters shouldn't have taken advantage.
lyrical_mess Falling In Love With The Board Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 5278	July 30th, 2007 at 04:46pm Is it the girl's fault that someone decided to track her down and molest her? I highly doubt it. Even if a kid comes online and says "I live on 123 Lemonade Street. Come touch me.", what kind of person complies? The offenders in the world need to learn a few things: 1. Respect the law. Its there for a reason. 2. Get help if you know you need it. I agree its not always possible to force a potential offender into getting help, but the victim is in no way to blame if he/she cannot provide psychiatric help or convince the potential offender to get help. Fear is a powerful motive to keep one's mouth shut. If anyone wishes to tell me we should not dictate our lives with fear, next time someone beats the crap out of you and says he'll do it again if you squeal, let's see if you decide to be brave.

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