MOVIE: Hercules
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| I Heart Bunney Falling In Love With The Board  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 5929 | Anyone like the Disney version, I love it! I donno if there is another version but anywho. Hercules, son of the Greek God, Zeus, is turned into a half-god, half-mortal by evil Hades, God of the Underworld, who plans to overthrow Zeus. Hercules is raised on Earth and retains his god-like strength, but when he discovers his immortal heritage Zeus tells him that to return to Mount Olympus he must become a True Hero. Hercules becomes a famous hero with the help of his friend Pegasus and his personal trainer, Phil the satyr. Hercules battles monsters, Hades and the Titans, but it is his self-sacrifice to rescue his love Meg which makes him a True Hero. Memorable Quotes from Hercules Hercules: Meg, when I'm with you, I-I don't feel so alone. Meg: Sometimes it's better to be alone. Hercules: What do you mean? Meg: Nobody can hurt you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there. Pain: You mean, *if* he gets outta there. Panic: If? If is good. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: You like making deals. Take me in Meg's place. Hades: Oh, hmph. The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death. Hercules: Going once! Hades: Hmm? Is there a downside to this? Hercules: Going twice! Hades: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! You get her out. She goes, you stay. [Hercules dives in to save Megera] Hades: Oh, you know what slipped my mind? You'll be dead before you can get to her. That's not a problem, is it? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: How sentimental. You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: Wow. What a day. First that restaurant by the bay. And then that, that play, that, that, that Oedipus thing. Man! I thought *I* had problems. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: He comes on with his big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: Is Wonderboy here for real? Phil: What are you talkin' about? Of course he's real. Whoa! And by the way, sweet cheeks, I'm real too. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yeuseus". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: You know how men are. They think "No" means "Yes" and "Get lost" means "Take me. I'm yours." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [after almost getting knocked down by a chariot (c.f. Midnight Cowboy (1969))] Phil: Hey, I'm *walkin'* here! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Panic: Hercules. Why does that name ring a bell? Pain: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: So you took care of him, huh? Dead as a doornail. Weren't those your *exact* words? Pain: This might be a different Hercules. Panic: Yeah! I mean, Hercules is a very popular name nowadays! Pain: Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: I didn't know that playing hookey could be so much fun. Meg: Yeah, neither did I. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: Aren't you, a damsel in distress? Meg: I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What do you say? Come on. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: Thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. So did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: But, Father, I've defeated every single monster I've come up against. I-I'm... I'm the most famous person in all of Greece. I'm... I-I'm an action figure! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: It's a small underworld, after all, huh? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Zeusy, I'm home! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: People are... are gonna get hurt, aren't they? Hades: Nah! I mean, it's, you know, it's a possibility. It happens 'cause, you know, it's war, but what can I tell ya. Anyway, what do you owe these people, huh? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: You know, wh-when I was a kid, I-I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else. Meg: You wanted to be petty and dishonest? Hercules: Everybody's not like that. Meg: Yes, they are. Hercules: You're not like that. Meg: How do you know what I'm like? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: So is this an audience or a mosaic? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: So, Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld? Hades: Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Memo to me, memo to me: maim you after my meeting. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [singin about Hurcules's fame and success] Thalia: They slapped his vase on every vase! [Clio hits her in the head] Clio the Muse of History: On every VAHZ. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: [After Hercules accidentally breaks the arms of a Venus statue] It looks better that way. No, it really does. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: I thought you were going to be the all-time champ, not the all-time chump. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: So what's in Thebes? Phil: A lot of problems. It's a big, tough town. Good place to start building a rep. [Suddenly, a woman's scream is heard] Phil: Sounds like your basic DID: a damsel in distress. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The Hydra appears] Hercules: Phil, what is that thing? Phil: Two words: [Hydra shrieks] Phil: Am-scray! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: I'm sorry. You mind runnin' that by me again? I must have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something. Meg: Then read my lips! Forget it! Hades: Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet deluded little mignon. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail? [Hades explodes into flames] Hades: [shouts] I own you! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: He's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey. They bet on the wrong horse, okay? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I've got at him, and it doesn't even... [Hades notices Pain is wearing Air-Hercs] Hades: What... are... *those*? Pain: Um, I don't know. I-I thought they looked kinda dashing. Hades: I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke, and *you* are [shouts] Hades: wearing his merchandise? [Hades almost blows up in front of Pain, but stops to see Panic drinking a Hercules drink] Panic: [chuckling nervously] Thirsty? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Uh, guys? Olympus would be that way. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Uh, guys? [pointing over his shoulder] Hades: Mt. Olympus is that way. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Hercules has been trying to kill the hydra, which now has umpteen heads] Phil: Will you forget the head-slicing thing? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: Excuse me. It seems to me that what you need is a hero. Tall Thebian: Yeah? And who are you? Hercules: I'm Hercules, and I happen to be... a hero. [All laugh] Elderly Thebian: Is that so? Ever save a town before? Hercules: Well... no, not exactly. Tall Thebian: Have you ever reversed a natural disaster? Hercules: Um... no. Tall Thebian: Will you listen to this? He's just another chariot chaser. This we need. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: [singing] So you wanna be a hero, kid? Well, whoop-dee-do! / I've been around the block before with blockheads just like you / Each and every one a dissapointment / Pain for which there ain't no ointment / So much for excuses / Thou' a kid of Zeus is / Asking me to jump into the fray / My answer is two words... [Hit by lightning] Phil: Okay! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Name's Hades, Lord of the dead. Hi, how ya doin'? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: Think your nanny goat would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon? Hercules: Oh gee, I don't know. Phil has the rest of the day pretty much booked. Meg: Aw, Phil, Schmil. Just follow me, out the window, round the dumbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: We were so close! So close. We tripped at the finish line. Why? Because our little nut Meg has to go all noble. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hermes: My lord and lady, the Titans have escaped. And they're practically at our gates! Zeus: Sound the alarm! Launch an immediate counterattack! Go! Go! Hermes: Gone, babe. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Calliope: We are the muses, goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes. Terpsichore: Heroes like Hercules. Thalia: Honey, you mean "Hunk-ules." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Ah! There's the little sunspot. Little snootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker. Eh? Here you go. You just... [Baby Hercules squeezes Hades' finger too tightly] Hades: Sheesh! Uh, powerful little tyke. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: You ought to slow down. You'll work yourself to death. Hah! Work yourself to death! [all laugh] Zeus: Oh, I kill myself! Hades: [to himself] If only. If only. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hermes: Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Narrator: Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is... Thalia: Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some Greek tragedy. Terpsichore: Lighten up, dude. Calliope: We'll take it from here, darling. Narrator: You go, girl. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Hermes gives a bouquet of flowers to Hera] Hera; Hercules' Mother: Why, Hermes, they're lovely. Hermes: Yeah, you know, I had Orpheus do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Ladies! Hah. I am so sorry that I'm... The Fates, The Fates, The Fates: Late. The Fates: We knew you would be. The Fates: We know everything. The Fates: Past. The Fates: Present. The Fates: And future. The Fates: [aside, to Pain] Indoor plumbing. It's gonna be big. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: What's the matter? You never seen a satyr before? Young Hercules: Uh, no. Can you help us? We're looking for someone called Philoctetes. Phil: Call me Phil. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all, the build, the foot speed. He could jab. He could take a hit. He could keep on comin'. But that furshlugginer heel of his! He barely gets nicked there once and kaboom! He's history. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: [training Hercules in knife-throwing] Rule number 95, kid: concentrate! [Hercules misses the targets and pins Phil against the wall with his knives] Phil: Rule number 96: aim! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: Uh, uh, uh, I'm, um, uh, uh, uh... Meg: Are you always this articulate? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: Hercules. My... My name is Hercules. Meg: Herc... huh. I think I prefer Wonderboy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pain: Wait a minute. Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to... Pain, Panic: Oh, my Gods! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: The one and only Thebes. The Big Olive itself. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Street Salesman: Hey, Mack. Phil: [as the salesman open his coat] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Street Salesman: You wanna buy a sundial? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heavyset Woman: It was tragic! We lost everything in the fire. Burnt Man: Everything except old Snowball here. Tall Thebian: Now were the fires before or after the earthquake? Earthquake Lady: They were after the earthquake. I remember. Heavyset Woman: But before the flood. Elderly Thebian: Don't even get me started on the crime rate. Heavyset Woman: Thebes has certainly gone downhill in a hurry. Elderly Thebian: Tell me about it. It seems like every time I turn around, there's some new monster wreakin' havoc and I... Burnt Man: All we need now is a plague of locusts. [a locust jumps on and chirps, everyone screams] Elderly Thebian: That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Burnt Man: Hey, isn't that the goat-man who trained Achilles? Phil: Watch it, pal. Tall Thebian: Yeah, you're right! Hey, uh, nice job on those heels! Ya missed a spot! Phil: You... I got your heel right here! [Phil head-butts the Tall Thebian] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: Hercules! Thank goodness. Hercules: Wha-Wha-What's wrong? Meg: Oh! Outside of town. Two little boys. Th-They were playing in the gorge. Th-There was this rock slide, a terrible rock slide. They're trapped! Hercules: Kids? Trapped? Phil, this is great! Meg: You're really choked up about this, aren't ya? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [getting off of Pegasus after riding] Meg: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: I've done my part. Get your little imps... Hades: They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need aomebody who can handle him as a man. Meg: Hey, I've sworn off manhandling. Hades: Well, you know, that's good because that's what got you into this jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend's life. And how does this creep thank you? By running off with some babe. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Meg? Huh? Meg: Look, I learned my lesson, okay? Hades: Which is exactly why I got a feelin' you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down Wonder Breath, and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire cosmos: your freedom. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Keep your toga on, pal. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [seeing Hercules hiding from fans behind a curtain] Meg: Let's see. What could be behind curtain number one? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [after Hercules is mobbed by fan girls] Meg: It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pain, Panic: [disguised as kids trapped in a rockslide] Somebody call IX-I-I! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: [running behind Hercules] I'm right behind ya, kid! Phil: [lagging after, panting] Whoo! I'm way behind ya, kid. I got a fur wedgie. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Pegasus blows the flames off Hades' head] Hades: Whoa! Is my hair out? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: [anger rising] I'm about to rearrange the cosmos, and the one *schlemiel* who can louse it up is waltzing around in the woods! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Meg encounters a rabbit and a gopher in the woods] Meg: Aw, how cute. A couple of rodents lookin' for a theme park. Pain: [as rabbit] Who are you callin' a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny. Panic: [as chipmunk] A-And I'm his gopher. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: Hey, hey, hey. Hold on, kiddo! What's your hurry? After all these years, is that the kind of hello you give your father? Young Hercules: F-F-Father? Zeus: Didn't know you had a famous father, did you? Surprise! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Young Hercules: But if I don't become a true hero, I'll never be able to rejoin my father Zeus. Phil: Hold it. Zeus is your father, right? Young Hercules: Uh-huh. Phil: [giggling] Zeus, the big guy. He's your daddy. Ha-ha-ha! Mr Lightning Bolts! "Read me a book, would you, Da-Da?" Ha-ha-ha! Zeus! Phil: [mimics Zeus] "Once upon a time..." Ha-ha-ha! Young Hercules: It's the truth! Phil: Please! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meg: Bye-bye, Wonderboy... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: What d'ya say? It's happy ending time! Everybody's got a little taste of somethin' but me. I got nothin'. I'm - I'm here with nothin'. Anybody listenin'? It's like I'm - What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace? Hello, it's me. Nobody listens. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Calliope: From that day forward, our boy Hercules could do no wrong. He was so hot, steam looked cool. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Rein it in, rookie. You can get away with mistakes like those in the minor decathalons, but this is the big leagues! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Fates: In 18 years precisely / The planets will align ever so nicely. Hades: Ay, verse. Oy. The Fates: The time to act will be at hand / Unleash the Titans, your monstrous band. Hades: Mmm-hmm. Good, good. The Fates: Then the once-proud Zeus will finally fall / And you, Hades, will rule all! Hades: Yes! Hades rules! The Fates: A word of caution to this tale. Hades: Excuse me? The Fates: Should Hercules fight, you will fail. Hades: [shouting at the top of his lungs] What? Hades: [calm] Okay, fine, fine. I'm cool. I'm fine. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hercules: I need your help. I want to become a hero, a true hero. Phil: Sorry, kid. Can't help ya. Hercules: Wait. [Hercules rips out the door trying to open it] Hercules: Uh, sorry. Why not? Phil: Two words: I am retired. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little *nut*-Meg. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising and here I am sort of... river-guardian-less. Meg: Look, I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: My favorite part of the game - sudden death. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: [Hercules and the Hydra are fighting, and the Hydra is winning, while Hades watches] Now, for my favorite part of the game - sudden death. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Kid, kid, kid. How many horns do you see? Hercules: Six? Phil: Ah, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Brothers! Titans! Look at you in your squalid prison! Who put you down there? Titans: Zeus! Hades: And now that I set you free, what is the first thing you are going to do? Titans: Destroy him! Hades: Good answer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phil: Nymphs, they can't get their hands off me. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Guys, get your titanic rears in gear and kick some Olympian butt! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hades: Well, gotta blaze. I have a whole cosmos up there waiting for me... with, hey, my name on it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: I need more thunderbolts! Hermes: Hephaestus has been captured, my lord. Everyone's been captured. [Hermes is dragged away by Pain and Panic] Hermes: I've been captured. Whoa! Hey, watch the glasses!  |
| Woodrow Derenberger Moderator  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 63354 | o0o0o0! I love Disney movies  My favorite is Lady and the Tramp. But this ones good too  |
| MTVMAKESMEWANNASMOKECRACK King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 34 Gender: - Posts: 2136 | |
| wheels-and-dolls-baby Geek Age: - Gender: - Posts: 194 | lol I love the zero to hero song in hercules  |
| I Heart Bunney Falling In Love With The Board Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 5929 | I love all the songs in Hercules!  |
| gd'sDiana Geek Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 182 | |
| Bamboozler Idiot Age: - Gender: - Posts: 969 | |
| Matt Smith Admin  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 31134   | MEGARA   Mm hmm. I love this film. Or at least did love, when I was younger. |
| BJ_&_80 Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 49 | |
| I Heart Bunney Falling In Love With The Board Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 5929 | |
| Screenager King For A Couple Of Days Age: - Gender: - Posts: 3082 | I love it! Bought it on DVD ages ago. hehe gotta love Disney  |
| The Rev Addict  Age: 38 Gender: Male Posts: 14004 |  one of my favorite Disney Movies |
| Miss Katy Jackass  Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 1041 | Reading through those quotes has cheered me up so much  I love that film, I think it's one of the funniest Disney ones. And the songs are amazing as well |
| a-dawg. Falling In Love With The Board  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 7070 | |
| Right_Profile Idiot  Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 598 | i loved this movie!! who put the glad in gladiator? herc-u-les! this movie rocks! |
| I Heart Bunney Falling In Love With The Board Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 5929 | WelcomeTo_GD_Paradise: WHAT A MAN! WHA HOO! |
| newagecarny Was Here Two Weeks Ago  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 42495 | Hades is coo' |
| I Heart Bunney Falling In Love With The Board Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 5929 | Ellaisonfire: Oh my God I loved him. When his flame went out, best moment in movies ever! |
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