| Author | Message |
|---|
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | March 18th, 2007 at 02:48pm Oh My Lord,
Bless thy blood red roses on my grave
And tell mom, thanks for the love that she gave.
Send from heaven a shower of roses to my heart
Make this not the end of my life, but a joyful start
Tell my daddy I'll always be his little girl
Tell my brother that to me, he meant the world
Send down the sweet scent of roses to place on my hand
For, the scent of roses might help you understand
Though it is so hard to say goodbye
And so difficult to see you cry
I hate that you must shead those tears
Do not cry, I'll be there to fight your fears
Make these roses a symbol of my love
And I shall send a bouquet of roses from heaven above
Know I'll always love you, know I'll always care
And don't you forget that in my heart, you will be there.
If you need any help, just look to the sky
To let you know I'll be here, I'll give you these Roses of Goodbye. |
BillieJoe.rox
Banned
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 3 | March 18th, 2007 at 03:03pm lindsey!!!
=[
soo sad
but i luv itt!
<3 |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | March 18th, 2007 at 03:06pm thanks yoouu! luv ya corey!! |
wait_what
Geek
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 411
  | March 18th, 2007 at 03:29pm The concept of "Roses of Goodbye" is really good, but your rhyming and choice of metaphors are very cliche. There's tons of emotions- instead of telling people what's going on, show them. Don't say that the speaker will always be daddy's little girl, show how she'll be daddy's little girl. What made her his little girl? Things like that.
Keep writing! |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | March 18th, 2007 at 03:31pm iight thank you very much!! |
PaNcAkEs
Jackass
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1808
| March 18th, 2007 at 04:49pm its kinda sad but the rhyming is real good. Its very sweet  |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | March 18th, 2007 at 08:45pm thanks! |
XPitOfDespairX
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 52
| March 18th, 2007 at 09:55pm aww that is the perfect way to say good bye. me and benji are sooo close to tears [well benji is in tears but i promised i wouldnt say that....oops]
thats a very sweet poem and you rythming is fine
keep up the good work!
PS can i use that at my funneral? |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | March 19th, 2007 at 08:28pm haha sure no problem thanks! |
Revenge;;
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 270
| March 19th, 2007 at 10:16pm UltraViolet InfraRed:its kinda sad but the rhyming is real good. Its very sweet
I agree, I love this one too<3.. |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | April 4th, 2007 at 06:07pm thanks!! |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | April 6th, 2007 at 03:01pm u guys are awesome! |
Destination_Unknown
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 105 | April 8th, 2007 at 04:35pm its so sadd! |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | April 9th, 2007 at 11:23am yeahh i know lol |
