You're My Little Secret, chapter 4
Leaving Tre sucked large amounts of ass, but I was anxious to get back to school and finish my last semester of college. On the plane ride home Adrienne and I both found that we were restless and unable to sleep or read. So we resorted to reading the newest issue of Rolling Stone together. About half way through she put the magazine down in her lap and looked at me kind of funny.
"What?" I questioned. "Something on my face?" I asked bringing my hand up in front of my mouth. "Bad breath?"
She shook her head. "How come you haven't dated anyone or at least expressed interest in anyone since Jack?" she wondered. "It's kind of weird."
I was wondering when this was going to catch up with me. I had thought of this issue around Christmas when I brought my gay friend, Brian, to all of the holiday parties instead of someone I was dating or was interested in. I'm surprised it took her this long to say something to me; it being March and all, almost seven months after my split with Jack.
"Have you seen what I have to work with?" I responded trying to shrug it off. "And besides I just haven't had time. I've been working... and let's face it this final semester is kicking my ass."
She was starting to make me nervous under her watchful gaze. "Do you miss Jack?" she asked curiously.
"Jack? No, I laid that to rest a looong time ago." I replied. "He's not an issue."
"I just thought since you made that semi-bitter comment at the beginning of the week maybe you were still hung up on how things turned out."
"Granted I'm a little pissed off that we spent a year and four months trying to figure out what the fuck we were doing only to have it end like it did. But it's not like I didn't know it was coming; it just wasn't working and we both knew that."
She nodded and I noticed she still looked conflicted.
"I feel like there's something you're not telling me." She finally said turning in her seat a little.
I felt my heart plummet to my stomach as I struggled to string together some sort of intelligent response. "What do you mean?" Yeah, good work Ava, you don't answer a question with a question in a moment like this. Now it just looks like you're buying more time.
"I don't know, for awhile now I've just felt like you're keeping something from me." She fidgeted for a moment with the magazine as I tried to resist the urge to throw myself out of the back of the plane because I felt like complete shit for about the 50th time this week.
"Adi, I'm just kind of at a weird place in my life right now. I'm about to transition from going to school for 20 years of my life to finding a career and starting a whole new stage of my life. You can appreciate that, right? You went to college and all that shit." I said nudging her.
She nodded. "Except I hope you're not planning on marrying a musician; although I hear Mark Hoppus and his wife are having problems." Adrienne said raising an eyebrow.
"Don't toy with me; you know I have an unquenchable love for that man." I responded smiling and wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.
She laughed. "Sorry for being such a fucking drama queen. I just worry about you sometimes."
"You're sweet. But I'm fine, really. Just trying to figure shit out." It wasn't a total lie; I just left out the part about screwing a mutual friend of ours.
"I'm going to take a nap, wake me when we get closer." And with that Adrienne shut off the tiny light above her head and snuggled down into her seat leaving me with my thoughts.
I wondered in the back of my mind for a brief moment if she knew and that was her way of giving me a chance to get it out in the open. I mean, I knew we were careful about sneaking around together, but she never noticed how we always managed to end up together out on a balcony, or that we always disappeared at the same time? I guess the mind believes what it wants to believe and it made me that much more upset that she didn't see what Tre and I were doing because she would never think of him and me as being together romantically. Partly because she threatened him and partly because I promised her I would never get involved with someone who led an unpractical lifestyle like she married into. I never told him that because the same day her and I had this talk was the same day him and I first realized we really were sexually attracted to each other... and that we were in big fucking trouble.
May 8th, 2004
"This fucking sucks." I muttered looking sideways at my sister from where I sat perched on the bathroom counter. She was standing next to me in front of the sink trying in vain to blot a ketchup stain off her favorite t-shirt.
"Believe me, I understand about the long distance traveling. And what a pain in the ASS it can be." She muttered before cussing loudly and placing her hands on her hips.
"How am I going to get this stain out?" she demanded looking over at me in desperation. "I fuggin' love this shirt. Billie Joe bought it for me in Europe like eight years ago."
I shrugged. "You're the one with two devilish boys, what do you usually do for grass stains and assorted varieties of condiments?" I pondered sarcastically. "OH, wait, the rich and the famous don't bother with these sorts of things; when the boys dirty a shirt you probably just consider it ruined and send the maid out to buy them another one."
She laughed and threw a wet washcloth at me. "Bitch."
I shrugged. "Back to my problem at hand. Focus, please." I whined and sat forward leaning my elbows on my thighs. "I don't want him to go to New York, I want to keep him selfishly here with me. To hell with his talent and his future. What about my needs?"
She looked sympathetic. "Again, I understand, Ava. But you need to make a choice. Is he worth traveling all the way over to New York for? Or are you going to take advantage of this small break from each other and realize that you're not fucking married to him and that you're only 24 and that you have your WHOLE life to find the right person and settle down before you have kids and your hips spread and you... " she trailed off upon noticing the alarmed look I was giving her.
"Easy killer." I said chuckling. "Shit, I knew I should have talked to Mike about this. He's less dramatic and bitter... well, most of the time."
She looked apologetic about her outburst for a moment before muttering, "I don't like him."
I feigned shock, pressing my hand to my chest. "Gee, that's surprising. You don't like anyone." I replied sending a less than friendly smirk her way.
"I'm serious."
"Yeah, me too." I chuckled. "But ok, I'll bite. Why don't you like Jack, Adrienne? And it can't be for some stupid reason like he listens to bad music or his car smells like chicken noodle soup... I want some solid reasons behind your dislike for my boyfriend of over a YEAR." I said in a challenging tone.
She leaned her hip against the counter and pointed at me. "You know your last boyfriend had a car that smelled like chicken fucking noodle soup; you admitted that you never liked riding around in it either!" she exclaimed.
"It's official! You're out of your damn mind!" I declared jumping off the counter and heading for the door.
"No, Ava, really. He's just so... he's just so fucking square."
I rolled my eyes and without turning around replied, "I need someone who is boring in my life. You supply me with enough CRAZY for the entire West Coast."
She laughed. "But you love me."
To this I turned around and smiled. "That I do."
I walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs with the intent to head back out to Mike's backyard where a small gathering was taking place, which would later turn into a large and very loud gathering. Mike had insisted he put together a party to celebrate my break from school; I thought the gesture was very kind. Although personally I think they just generally enjoy throwing a really good party, occasion or no occasion. It was still early yet and only about ten people occupied Mike's backyard. Estelle, Joey, Jakob, and Frankito were taking advantage of having the big pool all to themselves before they got shipped off so they 'adults' could have some fun.
Billie Joe was manning the barbeque portion of this shindig but I had seen more fires and heard more 'fucks' come out of his mouth then food being prepared. Mike finally wandered over to help his friend who finally owned up to the fact that he just wanted to be play the role of cook because he got to wear an apron that said "Kiss The Cook"... and drink lots of beer.
Adrienne and I were also given quite a surprise earlier in the week when our parents dropped in for a little visit. I was more than happy to see them; finally putting to use the empty bedroom and bathroom in my apartment. The last time we had seen them was Christmas and that seemed like forever ago. It made me happy to spend some time with my parents, and for them to spend some time not only with their two daughters but with their grandchildren as well. Later on Adrienne was planning on driving the kids back to her house and having our parents watch them for the evening; that way they could get some quality time in with the boys.
I ran into Tre on my way through the kitchen and for about the 10th time that day he giddily picked me up and spun me around. I laughed when he finally put me back down.
"You know, I'm not Frankito; I won't be as amused if you pick me and play airplane with me." I joked as he removed a large tub of fruity smelling liquid for the refrigerator. I peered over his shoulder as he stirred; inhaling the familiar smell of vodka; one of my favorite mixing aids.
He smiled back at me. "Here, try this." He said dipping a small cup into the bowl and handing it to me.
"Is this your infamous Jungle Juice?" I questioned taking the cup from him and taking a small sip. "Mmm, that's good, Tre. There's enough alcohol in there to kill a friggin' horse but it's good."
"It's actually Adrienne's recipe but I added a few things, you know, tweaked it to make it my own. I call it Tre Jungle Juice now." He said proudly sticking out his chest and grinning.
I giggled. "Oh God, well, I think one third of our nation has had your Jungle Juice... in one form or another."
He laughed. "Baby, you dirty!" he exclaimed filling two glasses and garnishing each with a lemon. He handed me one and raised his own high in the air. "A toast, Ava, to your summer and to your happiness."
We clinked glasses together and I stepped forward to wrap my arms around his neck for a hug. "That's sweet, thanks Tre." I said.
"And to your ass." He added as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I giggled against his neck and pulled away rolling my eyes. "Figures you would ruin a classy toast."
"I consider your ass to be quite classy actually. AND worthy of being included in my toast." He said shrugging. I brushed off his comments as playful and flirty; he was nothing if not a big flirt.
We stood in the kitchen talking for a few more minutes until I excused myself to go back to the party. We barbequed and swam; taking lots of pictures and relishing in the fact that this had turned into a family event without much effort. I loved spending time with my parents and all of the kids; and I wished that Ramona could be here with us; I knew that was hard for Tre.
I was stretched out on a lounger with a strawberry daiquiri in my hand praising Jakob every time he said, "Aunt Ava watch me jump into the water like this!" Twenty times later he was still going strong and I was amazed at his energy; he really was a doll. Before long Joey joined in and they were competing against each other trying to prove who could jump the farthest into the water and who could pull off the coolest trick; after awhile Billie Joe called them out of the water claiming they would turn into toads if they weren't careful and that he wanted them to eat something.
Two very reluctant boys pulled themselves out of the water, frowning all the while as they made their way over to where I was sitting.
"You have all summer to swim... heck, you have all year!" I reminded them as I sat up and handed them both towels.
"Will you swim with us before we have to go?" Jakob asked hopefully, his brown hair flopped across his forehead.
"Sure. But go get something to eat first, k?"
They nodded and scrambled off towards Billie Joe.
Adrienne passed them on their mad dash towards Billie Joe. "Don't run by the pool!" she called.
"Sorry!" they answered in unison, slowing down only when they reached their dad.
Adrienne settled down next to me with a plate of food in her lap and sighed.
"You ok?" I asked leaning back again and crossing my ankles. "You've looked a little stressed out all day. Is it because of mom and dad?" I joked.
She chuckled. "No, actually. It's been kind of nice having them around."
I leaned over and pressed my hand to her forehead. "Nope, you don't feel warm. You must be drunk." I teased as she slapped my hand away.
"No, really. I've liked having mom fussing around me and having dad randomly share ridiculous tidbits of information. The boys are having fun too, I wish we lived closer." She muttered regrettably. "Ollie is two feet down the road and our parents are a million miles away."
"I guess I don't know what you're getting at." I admitted. I was sensing that something large was on the horizon and it couldn't be good.
She looked up at me and frowned. "All I do is bitch to you lately." She mumbled eating a piece of watermelon. "Don't you get sick of it?"
I didn't say anything for a moment. "What happened Adi?"
She stared at her plate for a moment. "Billie Joe and I decided that we are going to take a break for awhile."
I felt like I had been run over by a UPS truck. "What?" I asked leaning in closer. "You're taking a break... now?"
"Last night we had another big fight; the first one in awhile and he ended up sleeping here at Mike's. When he came back this morning we talked about it rationally and we decided that when mom and dad go back to Minnesota he's going to pack up some stuff and live somewhere else for awhile."
I must have looked stunned because she snapped, "Are you really that surprised?"
"I... yeah, I am. I thought you guys finally got past all of the bullshit and the fighting. And what do you mean live somewhere else? Like with Mike or Tre?" I asked.
She shook her head. "No, he's going to rent a small apartment. Something with two bedrooms, a bathroom and a kitchen. What the fuck else does he need? He's always at the fucking studio anyway." She replied bitterly.
"Christ, I'm really sorry." I managed to say, reaching over to pull her into a hug.
She allowed me to hug her briefly before pulling away and shooing me to sit back.
"I don't want to tell mom and dad, ok?"
"Fuck no, I don't blame you." I muttered smirking at her. "No one wants to hear mom preach and squabble about the sanctity of marriage."
We sat in silence for a moment as I was still trying to process everything and she was finishing up her plate of food.
"What about the boys?" I asked suddenly. "Have you told them?"
Her eyes looked a little misty as she turned to look at me again. "That's going to be the hard part... we haven't really thought about what to say to them." She admitted quietly.
"You'll figure it out, Ad. And we'll get through it, we always do." I assured her.
"No one should have to put up with this shit." She burst out angrily. "I want you to promise me right now, Ava, that you will never get involved with a musician, or someone who has to travel all the time for his job. I want you to think long and hard about your relationship with Jack and where it's going, for the sake of your sanity just think it over. "
"Adi, you love your life, you wouldn't change it. You've told me so." I responded.
"I'm not saying I'm not grateful or that I don't love him, but this is no way to fucking live. The schedules, the long distance phone calls, and the simple things that get pushed aside... it's maddening and you deserve better, Ava, you deserve a good life." She said each word accentuated with her bitterness and her anger.
"Adrienne, I don't think... ."
"Promise me." She said cutting me off.
This seemed like a ludicrous pact but looking at the determination on her face I knew that there would be a better chance of me learning Mandarin Chinese in two days before being able to walk away without agreeing. "Ok, yeah, I promise."
She smiled and leaned over to kiss my cheek. "Thanks. Oh, and try some of this cake, it's good."
"Ok." I replied awe struck at the shift in her moods. "I like how you shifted gears from telling me you're leaving your husband of almost 10 years to cake. That's crafty." I mumbled.
She shrugged uncomfortably. "I'm going to go talk to mom and dad for a bit. Need anything?" she asked standing up.
"No, I'm good thanks." I replied as she watched walked away. "Just some anxiety pills, maybe a padded room." I muttered under my breath when she was too far away to hear me. "Jesus."
I tried to push the day's events out of my head but I couldn't. I hated how some days made for the most ridiculous emotional rollercoaster rides and others were just ho-hum and uneventful. I wished for a ho-hum day after this one... and I wished for more booze.
Unfortunately the booze would have to wait because Joey and Jakob forced me to make good on my promise to swim with them before they left.
"Uncle Tre is coming in too!" Jakob exclaimed jumping up and down and pulling me towards the pool.
"That'll be fun." I replied sarcastically.
I vividly remember the last time Tre and I swam together. We were involved in what was supposed to be a friendly game of water basketball with Mike and Sarah; Sarah and I being on the same team. When she and I won he came over and held me under water for damn near two minutes. He's a terrific sport, let me tell ya.
I took off my shorts and tank top and laid them on the chair next to the pool. I saw Tre emerge from inside the house with Frankito, adorned in SpongeBob SquarePants swim trunks and floaties, tearing along behind him.
"Coming in?" Tre asked evilly as he shed his t-shirt.
"Yes and I don't need your help, thank you." I answered walking to the steps that led into the pool.
"It's warm aunt Ava, come in!" Jakob yelled, his lifejacket tucked around his small body guaranteeing he would stay afloat.
"I'm coming buddy, I'm just trying to get used to it." I answered with a wink.
Unfortunately nothing could have prepared me for Tre's grand entrance.
"CANNONBALL!" He screamed running and jumping in, sending a tidal wave of water crashing over my head and on to the sides of the pool. So much for taking my time and getting used to it.
"Yeah cannonball!" Frankito mimicked jumping in a few feet away from where his dad had, making a more polite splash.
Tre surfaced a few feet away from me slicking his hair back and grinning.
"Very nice, Tre. A good example for the kids." I said sarcastically. He grinned wider and winked.
"Did you see my cannonball, daddy?" Frankito asked puttering over the surface of the water into Tre's arms with the help of the flotation devices on his arms.
Tre held him to his chest as he smiled. "Yeah, it was better than mine little man. High five!"
Frankito grinned and laughed as Tre carried him through the water occasionally throwing him up and down and making motor boat noises as he went.
I couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked in his black swim trunks, all slicked down, and holding his adorable son close to him. I snapped back to reality when Joey grabbed on to my hands and begged me to play Marco Polo with him and Jakob. It made me nervous that I would have to close my eyes in a large pool of water with Tre lurking around but I obliged, I was a good sport. We were just about to start the game when Joey decided he would rather play Jaws instead.
"I've never played that, Joe, what do you do?" I asked, again feeling rather alarmed as Tre watched me from across the pool.
"Well uncle Tre can be the shark because dad isn't playing. And the rest of us are swimmers and we have to try not to get eaten." He explained excitedly.
"NOPE, I'm out." I proclaimed starting to wade towards the steps of the pool. "No way am I playing a game where you're handing over the power to him." I said jerking my thumb in Tre's general direction as explanation to the three kids who looked confused at my sudden departure.
"Oh come on, Ava! We're all going to play nice, I promise!" Tre said crossing his heart and smiling innocently.
"Well, I think we need more people than what we have." I said trying to worm my way out of this situation. "Maybe next time though."
"MIKE! BILL! ADRIENNE! JASON! Get your as-- butts in here!" Tre yelled.
I watched as a semi-drunk Billie Joe sauntered towards the pool holding a beer and squatted down next to me as I leaned against the side of the pool unsure of whether to get out or not. "What's he going on about?" he asked.
I peered up into his sunglasses and felt anger bubbling inside of me. "We're trying to get more people to play Jaws." I simply said, silently hoping my glare would turn him to stone. "It would be great if you could play, but we understand if you don't want to; we wouldn't want you to mess up your awesome hair." I said sweetly letting a sarcastic smile roll across my lips.
He glared at me for a second. "That's very grown up of you, Ava." He muttered. "Maybe you should get the whole story before you put your bitch hat on though."
"Have a few more drinks and drive home." I replied before swimming away from him. Billie Joe and I's relationship just officially went from toleration of one another to intolerably strained. And I could have given a shit.
Adrienne ended up joining us in the water along with Mike and Jason, and as Tre promised he behaved himself. As the evening pressed on Adrienne took our parents and the kids back to her house for the night and decided she would stay there instead of coming back; I didn't blame her. Claudia was the last to leave taking with her Frankito and leaving the rest of the adults to play. Before long more drinks had been brought out and this was turning into quite a party. I danced a little bit with Mike and Tre, but mostly I drank a lot. Billie Joe steered clear of me the rest of the night, which was probably a good idea because with the mixture of anger and confusion I was feeling towards Jack being gone and my sister hurting I could have gladly ripped him a new asshole.
Many hours later, with an empty bottle of Jack Daniels sitting between us, Tre and I were sprawled out on the living room floor, sort of tangled up in each other.
"I'm bored." I slurred through my drunken state. "Lets go wake everyone up." I suggested dragging my eyes to where Tre was half sitting, half laying against the couch.
He looked amused but shook his head. "No, they'd all be sober by now and it would be boring for us to be drunk and them to be sober."
I nodded as though he had just spoken words of wisdom.
"That would suck balls." I replied.
That made him start giggling until he snorted, which in turn made me laugh.
"You're such a nerd." I hiccupped, shoving his shoulder a little.
"HEY, let's go swimming again!" he said, sitting up excitedly.
I didn't have a chance to answer because he stood up and stumbled towards the back of the house. Most of the lights had been turned off so I could hear him running into things and cursing. Giggling I pulled myself up with the help of the couch and stumbled after him. The slider that led to the backyard and the pool area was opened half-way and as I walked outside I listened for any signs of Tre's movement.
"Tre?" I covertly whispered.
"Pssst, Ava, over here." I heard Tre whisper back. I giggled again at how absurd this situation was. I walked in the general direction of his voice, my eyes searching through the darkness. As I got closer to the pool I could make out his profile.
"We have to be quiet or we'll wake everyone up." I reminded him, glancing up at the bedroom windows that faced the back of the house. I didn't see anyone peering out, and the last thing I wanted to do was wake someone up at this hour.
"I'll be quiet." He promised. Yeah fucking right. Tre couldn't be quiet if his life depended on it.
I turned back around from inspecting the house to see him pulling off his t-shirt and jeans. I stared for a moment, taking in his delicious form before turning my back to him and clumsily removing my shoes and then my tank top and shorts, glad I was drunk because I knew once I got my bra and underwear wet they would be see through and that would be awkward on any other day.
I jumped when I felt his hand on the small of my back.
"Ready?" he asked, I could smell the distinct scent of the liquor on his breath.
"You first." I answered. He smirked before running over and jumping into the shallow end of the pool.
I laughed when he surfaced moments later hissing and splashing about. "FUCK, that's COLD."
"Shhh. You'll wake someone up." I scolded. He shivered again and ran his hands through his damp hair. "Get your drunken ass in here!" he demanded.
I walked over to the edge of the pool and cautiously dipped my toe in the water, he was right, it was cold. I pulled my foot back out and shivered. I saw him maneuver through the water towards the side of the pool where I was standing, and before it even registered in my drunken mind what he was up to, he grabbed my leg and pulled me into the cold water with him. It felt like four thousand tiny little pickers had been injected into my once warm skin. This was definitely a buzz kill. I sputtered to the surface, hair hanging in my face, and tried to swim to the edge to get out of the pool, but he was too quick; he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back out into the middle of the pool.
"Tre, I want to get out! It's fucking cold!" I complained, slicking my hair back with my hands. It registered a half a second later that the warm skin from his back and his arms were setting my torso on fire with the sensation of being this close to him.
"It's not that cold." He whispered gripping my hips with his hands and pulling me back against his chest.
"Oh yeah, well how come you're using me to keep warm then, smartass?" I mumbled, my teeth chattering a little. "I thought Mike said this thing was fucking heated."
"I'll keep you warm, baby." He joked in a fake porn star voice.
I shivered at the feel of his warm breath on my neck, so close to my ear.
"Maybe we should go in the hot tub." He suggested upon feeling me shiver.
I nodded. "Good idea."
He continued to hold me against him as we made our way through the pool to the steps. I all but ran over to the hot tub and climbed into the welcoming oasis.
I immediately relaxed into the warm water, closing my eyes; mostly to avoid checking Tre out as he took his time settling down into the warm water opposite of me. When he finally leaned back into the warm water a small groan escaped his lips, and I found it hard to keep my composure. I wonder what it would be like to...
"Ava! Earth to Ava!"
I snapped my head up. "What?" I mumbled opening my eyes and looking at him.
"You were a million miles away." He chuckled. "I thought you fell asleep."
I shook my head. "Just enjoying being in here." I hoped my blush wasn't noticeable, I could always just blame it on the alcohol. It always made my cheeks rosey.
"With me?" he asked curiously.
"Eh, I would prefer to soak with Jake Gyllenhaal but I guess you'll do." I teased, leaning against the headrest and still maintaining eye contact.
"I'm way hotter than that guy." He bragged turning his noise up in the air.
I smiled. "I guess you're right." I didn't even bother to look at him as I closed my eyes and sighed.
We sat in silence for a moment and I really thought I was going to slip into a deep sleep when I felt his hand on my right calf.
"What are you doing?" I murmured. "Don't even think about dunking me." I warned.
He didn't say anything but I felt his hand massaging my calf for a moment before sliding down my ankle to my foot. He grabbed my foot gently and rested it on his knee.
"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.
He didn't say anything but he kept eye contact with me; his blue eyes twinkling. I was just about to move my foot out of fear when he started to massage the sole of my foot with his thumb.
I couldn't help but groan. I felt my whole body relax as he continued to massage my right foot.
"Gimme your other one." He said after a few minutes. I eagerly complied, surrendering my left foot to this wonderful man. I groaned again when he began to knead both of my feet.
"Mmmm, I love you so much right now." I murmured, which caused him to chuckle.
"You're easily won over." He joked, moving his hands up to rub my ankles.
"I love having my feet rubbed." I replied. "Jack used to rub my feet almost every night, I was so spoiled."
He grinned. "What did you give him in return?"
I cracked one eye and glared at him. "You're so inappropriate."
He stopped rubbing my feet and I raised my head in protest and whimpered.
"Don't stop." I said giving him my infamous puppy dog eyes and smiling contently when he caved and started massaging my feet again.
"I remember that you give really good back rubs." He said nonchalantly after a few minutes of just listening to the jets in the hot tub hum.
"Uhhmm." I agreed, loving the sensation of his hands dancing over my ankles and feet.
"I'd like one of those now." He stated, as though it was obviously the next installment in our evening.
I opened my eyes and looked at him
"This fucking figures, I thought you were just doing a nice thing by rubbing my feet, but no; there has to be something in it for you." I replied chuckling.
"Please?" he begged. "I had a hard day today."
"Really? Doing what? Drinking beer and hanging out by the grill. Wow, you're right, that's strenuous work."
He started to tickle the bottoms of my feet and I responded by jerking my feet back and setting them back on the bottom of the hot tub. "Don't tickle me!" I giggled.
"Come here and give me a back rub then." He replied playfully.
I didn't want to let him know that touching his muscular body would probably send me into cardiac arrest, but I complied just because I wanted to be that close to him. And I was drunk; I could probably be convinced to set my hair on fire at this point. He sat forward a little as I waded over to kneel behind him.
"You best be grateful for this." I grumbled. "And behave yourself too."
He laughed. "I'll be good, I promise. Or will I?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"You've never been good a day in your life." I said as I balanced on my knees and started to rub his shoulder blades, hypnotized once again by the way the water was bubbling around his slightly tanned skin. It reminded me of the night back in January when we sat in his new hot tub and talked into the wee hours of the morning.
"Jesus, you are tense. I could mountain climb up your back." I joked.
"Feel free, Ava... feel free, just don't stop." He mumbled.
I felt his muscles starting to loosen up as I rubbed my hands over his neck and shoulder blades some more. He leaned back into me when I moved my hands lower to the middle of his back. I was starting to get really warm and it wasn't because of the water temperature. My body was tingling from being this close to him, and the intimacy of which I was touching him. I watched his head drop forward when I traced my fingers from the middle of his back up into his hair, massaging his scalp, and then back down again. I started kneading the muscles in his lower back a little harder, enjoying the way he was groaning and leaning into my touch. I jumped a little when he reached his hands back and rested them on my thighs for balance. I was officially on fire.
"Ava, you are a goddess... " he murmured. "Don't stop."
Damn, I wanted him and the fact that I was drunk and lonely over Jack's departure wasn't really allowing my usual common sense and willpower to make an appearance at this particular junction in the evening. I felt my desire rising to an unhealthy level as he leaned back against me even more, gripping my thighs and pressing his back against the thin material of my bra. I lowered my hands to his lower back massaging some more, but then I decided to take a different route. I moved my hands over his narrow hips running my hands up his stomach to his chest and then raking my fingernails back down again.
I felt his body stiffen again as he moaned and moved to grab my hands, which were currently resting on his thighs. He turned slightly to his side to look at me better, his eyes shone with confusion and desire. And maybe a little Jack Daniels.
"That was some massage." He joked. "I'm hard as a fucking rock."
Just then the flood lights at the back of the house came on, showering us in a blinding light. I quickly untangled myself from Tre, and moved to the opposite side of the hot tub, doing my best not to laugh or look at him. What the HELL were we doing?
Mike strolled out of the house a second later, looking confused and sleepy.
"What the fuck are you guys doing?" he asked. GOOD QUESTION, Mikey-boy.
He stopped next to the pool, taking in our discarded clothes and smirked.
"Doing some late night swimming?" He mused, raising an eyebrow.
I attempted to covertly cover my chest as I looked over at Tre who also looked a little anxious. I could tell he wasn't too happy about our unscheduled interruption. I was amused, a little disappointed, but mostly relieved that Mike interrupted us. Apparently I couldn't trust myself around Tre; not that this was news.
"We were bored, thought we would go for a swim." I explained, finally finding my voice.
Mike nodded. "There are extra towels in the pool house if you want em'."
"Thanks Mikey, sorry to wake you." I answered.
He looked at both of us and smirked one last time before turning around and walking back into the house. I turned to Tre who had been silent the whole time; a dead give away that we were up to no good. His face was flushed and his eyes were a dark blue.
"Thanks for freezing up, ass, you made us look guilty. There's no way he's going to believe nothing was going on." I scolded.
"Get.Back.Over.Here." Tre replied through gritted teeth.
"Are you kidding? We probably have an audience now." I replied. It was hard for me to say no, but the moment was kind of ruined and I intended to walk away before we really got carried away. I could already feel my alcohol induced moment of retardation demanding my attention and soon the mortification of what I had just done would creep in.
"That's never stopped me before." He said seductively raising his eyebrow.
"I don't think so, Tre. We should probably just go to bed." I watched him break into a smile. "SEPERATELY. Each of us in our own beds. Different rooms. Down the hall." I amended, standing up shakily and letting the water run off of me. I watched as his eyes ran up and down my body and he licked his lips.
"Ava, this is not over." He promised, holding my gaze for a moment.
I stepped out of the hot tub and walked into the house without another glance at him or another word. I quietly ascended the stairs, not wishing to have another confrontation with Mike; I knew he would question me about the happenings in his hot tub tomorrow. So the lesson of tonight: Alcohol+Tre+water= poor choices being made.
I flipped on the light in the guest room I was staying in and was about to shut the door when Tre passed my doorway, nearly giving me a heartache when he stepped out of the darkness. He was carrying his clothes in one hand and he was still wet.
"If you need anything... you know where I am. And I mean anything, Ava." He said in a hushed voice, leaning against the doorway. I felt my insides fire up again at his seductive tone and direct implications.
"Night Tre." I simply said, quickly closing the door.
Awhile later I was still tossing and turning trying to assess my day; coming to the conclusion that instead of getting a grip on reality and not using alcohol as a method of escape I got a grip on Tre instead. Oh. My. God. I smacked myself in the head, which was a poor choice considering I had a headache the size of Africa threatening to invade my senses. I tossed around a few more times before deciding there was only one thing that was going to fix this. I stepped out of my room and praised the plush carpet for silencing my steps as I crept down the hall. I silently hoped I picked the right room; it would be awkward to end up crawling into bed next to Billie Joe or something... although then I could suffocate him with his pillow while he slept. That thought made me smile to myself, and I made a mental note to give myself a hug later for coming up with that.
I gripped the door handle belonging to the room three down from mine and pushed it open, once again hoping I had this right because I realized almost immediately that I couldn't see a damn thing. I felt blindly for a bedpost or something once I had shut the door and stepped into the room. I knew I had found the bed when my left kneecap slammed into something hard and unforgiving.
"Fuck me!" I yelped in pain and in the process tripping myself on my own pajama bottom pants and falling to the floor.
I laid on the ground for a moment before I heard Tre's unmistakable laugh bounce through the dark room.
"How romantic of you. You come to seduce me and you end up assaulting my bed." He teased.
I giggled and crawled over to the side of the bed, finally adjusting a little to the dark. He was lying on his stomach and assumingly naked but he sat up a little when I crawled into bed next to him.
"Hey kid." He whispered propping his head up on his hand.
"I hurt my knee." I whimpered scooting closer and pulling my pajama pant up over my wounded kneecap.
"Want me to kiss it?" he asked trailing his fingers over my afflicted leg.
"Umm yeah. Your bed bit me; I see this as being partially your fault so you need to make this up to me." I answered.
He smiled and sat up before wrapping his hands around my knee and placing small kisses all around it. Yep he was naked, which made me entertain the idea of throwing him down and having my way with him but I quickly shook that thought from my head. I didn't come here for that.
"Better?" he questioned looking at me through the darkness.
"It's a start." He chuckled as he laid back down next to me.
"I'm conflicted." I admitted turning on my side to face him.
"Why for?" he questioned in a southern accent making me giggle.
"Billie Joe and Adrienne are taking a break... but you probably already know that." I answered.
He sighed. "Yeah, he told me this morning. I'm sorry, Ava."
"Unless he's leaving Adi to be with you then you have nothing to feel sorry for." I joked. "It just makes me sad."
I tensed for a moment when he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer against him.
"Unfortunately I didn't come to sleep with you." I whispered. "I'm just so screwed up over Jack leaving and Adrienne dropping this bomb on me, I just need you to ignore my stupidity for the time being because I'm not sure what the fuck I'm doing."
He shrugged. "Everything is fucked up right now, Ava. We'll figure it all out tomorrow."
"We probably should tell Mike to put some extra chlorine in the hot tub too." I said a few minutes later, feeling quite drowsy and utterly content.
He laughed a little and kissed my forehead. "We'll also make a note to pretend that didn't happen." He replied. "Night kid."
As I laid there with him I felt a sense of calmness come over me even though I knew I should have been feeling the complete opposite. My world had been flipped upside down in a short period of time with Jack leaving a few days earlier requesting that I make a decision about staying together or making our current 'break' permanent; plus Adrienne's big news guaranteeing that life would be shit for the next couple of weeks and possibly months, and now this private moment with Tre that I didn't understand. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other; staring, touching, flirting.
I decided no matter what this would be the absolute last time Tre and I messed around alcohol or no alcohol; we were friends. Not friends with benefits, just friends, attraction to each other be damned.
"What?" I questioned. "Something on my face?" I asked bringing my hand up in front of my mouth. "Bad breath?"
She shook her head. "How come you haven't dated anyone or at least expressed interest in anyone since Jack?" she wondered. "It's kind of weird."
I was wondering when this was going to catch up with me. I had thought of this issue around Christmas when I brought my gay friend, Brian, to all of the holiday parties instead of someone I was dating or was interested in. I'm surprised it took her this long to say something to me; it being March and all, almost seven months after my split with Jack.
"Have you seen what I have to work with?" I responded trying to shrug it off. "And besides I just haven't had time. I've been working... and let's face it this final semester is kicking my ass."
She was starting to make me nervous under her watchful gaze. "Do you miss Jack?" she asked curiously.
"Jack? No, I laid that to rest a looong time ago." I replied. "He's not an issue."
"I just thought since you made that semi-bitter comment at the beginning of the week maybe you were still hung up on how things turned out."
"Granted I'm a little pissed off that we spent a year and four months trying to figure out what the fuck we were doing only to have it end like it did. But it's not like I didn't know it was coming; it just wasn't working and we both knew that."
She nodded and I noticed she still looked conflicted.
"I feel like there's something you're not telling me." She finally said turning in her seat a little.
I felt my heart plummet to my stomach as I struggled to string together some sort of intelligent response. "What do you mean?" Yeah, good work Ava, you don't answer a question with a question in a moment like this. Now it just looks like you're buying more time.
"I don't know, for awhile now I've just felt like you're keeping something from me." She fidgeted for a moment with the magazine as I tried to resist the urge to throw myself out of the back of the plane because I felt like complete shit for about the 50th time this week.
"Adi, I'm just kind of at a weird place in my life right now. I'm about to transition from going to school for 20 years of my life to finding a career and starting a whole new stage of my life. You can appreciate that, right? You went to college and all that shit." I said nudging her.
She nodded. "Except I hope you're not planning on marrying a musician; although I hear Mark Hoppus and his wife are having problems." Adrienne said raising an eyebrow.
"Don't toy with me; you know I have an unquenchable love for that man." I responded smiling and wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.
She laughed. "Sorry for being such a fucking drama queen. I just worry about you sometimes."
"You're sweet. But I'm fine, really. Just trying to figure shit out." It wasn't a total lie; I just left out the part about screwing a mutual friend of ours.
"I'm going to take a nap, wake me when we get closer." And with that Adrienne shut off the tiny light above her head and snuggled down into her seat leaving me with my thoughts.
I wondered in the back of my mind for a brief moment if she knew and that was her way of giving me a chance to get it out in the open. I mean, I knew we were careful about sneaking around together, but she never noticed how we always managed to end up together out on a balcony, or that we always disappeared at the same time? I guess the mind believes what it wants to believe and it made me that much more upset that she didn't see what Tre and I were doing because she would never think of him and me as being together romantically. Partly because she threatened him and partly because I promised her I would never get involved with someone who led an unpractical lifestyle like she married into. I never told him that because the same day her and I had this talk was the same day him and I first realized we really were sexually attracted to each other... and that we were in big fucking trouble.
May 8th, 2004
"This fucking sucks." I muttered looking sideways at my sister from where I sat perched on the bathroom counter. She was standing next to me in front of the sink trying in vain to blot a ketchup stain off her favorite t-shirt.
"Believe me, I understand about the long distance traveling. And what a pain in the ASS it can be." She muttered before cussing loudly and placing her hands on her hips.
"How am I going to get this stain out?" she demanded looking over at me in desperation. "I fuggin' love this shirt. Billie Joe bought it for me in Europe like eight years ago."
I shrugged. "You're the one with two devilish boys, what do you usually do for grass stains and assorted varieties of condiments?" I pondered sarcastically. "OH, wait, the rich and the famous don't bother with these sorts of things; when the boys dirty a shirt you probably just consider it ruined and send the maid out to buy them another one."
She laughed and threw a wet washcloth at me. "Bitch."
I shrugged. "Back to my problem at hand. Focus, please." I whined and sat forward leaning my elbows on my thighs. "I don't want him to go to New York, I want to keep him selfishly here with me. To hell with his talent and his future. What about my needs?"
She looked sympathetic. "Again, I understand, Ava. But you need to make a choice. Is he worth traveling all the way over to New York for? Or are you going to take advantage of this small break from each other and realize that you're not fucking married to him and that you're only 24 and that you have your WHOLE life to find the right person and settle down before you have kids and your hips spread and you... " she trailed off upon noticing the alarmed look I was giving her.
"Easy killer." I said chuckling. "Shit, I knew I should have talked to Mike about this. He's less dramatic and bitter... well, most of the time."
She looked apologetic about her outburst for a moment before muttering, "I don't like him."
I feigned shock, pressing my hand to my chest. "Gee, that's surprising. You don't like anyone." I replied sending a less than friendly smirk her way.
"I'm serious."
"Yeah, me too." I chuckled. "But ok, I'll bite. Why don't you like Jack, Adrienne? And it can't be for some stupid reason like he listens to bad music or his car smells like chicken noodle soup... I want some solid reasons behind your dislike for my boyfriend of over a YEAR." I said in a challenging tone.
She leaned her hip against the counter and pointed at me. "You know your last boyfriend had a car that smelled like chicken fucking noodle soup; you admitted that you never liked riding around in it either!" she exclaimed.
"It's official! You're out of your damn mind!" I declared jumping off the counter and heading for the door.
"No, Ava, really. He's just so... he's just so fucking square."
I rolled my eyes and without turning around replied, "I need someone who is boring in my life. You supply me with enough CRAZY for the entire West Coast."
She laughed. "But you love me."
To this I turned around and smiled. "That I do."
I walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs with the intent to head back out to Mike's backyard where a small gathering was taking place, which would later turn into a large and very loud gathering. Mike had insisted he put together a party to celebrate my break from school; I thought the gesture was very kind. Although personally I think they just generally enjoy throwing a really good party, occasion or no occasion. It was still early yet and only about ten people occupied Mike's backyard. Estelle, Joey, Jakob, and Frankito were taking advantage of having the big pool all to themselves before they got shipped off so they 'adults' could have some fun.
Billie Joe was manning the barbeque portion of this shindig but I had seen more fires and heard more 'fucks' come out of his mouth then food being prepared. Mike finally wandered over to help his friend who finally owned up to the fact that he just wanted to be play the role of cook because he got to wear an apron that said "Kiss The Cook"... and drink lots of beer.
Adrienne and I were also given quite a surprise earlier in the week when our parents dropped in for a little visit. I was more than happy to see them; finally putting to use the empty bedroom and bathroom in my apartment. The last time we had seen them was Christmas and that seemed like forever ago. It made me happy to spend some time with my parents, and for them to spend some time not only with their two daughters but with their grandchildren as well. Later on Adrienne was planning on driving the kids back to her house and having our parents watch them for the evening; that way they could get some quality time in with the boys.
I ran into Tre on my way through the kitchen and for about the 10th time that day he giddily picked me up and spun me around. I laughed when he finally put me back down.
"You know, I'm not Frankito; I won't be as amused if you pick me and play airplane with me." I joked as he removed a large tub of fruity smelling liquid for the refrigerator. I peered over his shoulder as he stirred; inhaling the familiar smell of vodka; one of my favorite mixing aids.
He smiled back at me. "Here, try this." He said dipping a small cup into the bowl and handing it to me.
"Is this your infamous Jungle Juice?" I questioned taking the cup from him and taking a small sip. "Mmm, that's good, Tre. There's enough alcohol in there to kill a friggin' horse but it's good."
"It's actually Adrienne's recipe but I added a few things, you know, tweaked it to make it my own. I call it Tre Jungle Juice now." He said proudly sticking out his chest and grinning.
I giggled. "Oh God, well, I think one third of our nation has had your Jungle Juice... in one form or another."
He laughed. "Baby, you dirty!" he exclaimed filling two glasses and garnishing each with a lemon. He handed me one and raised his own high in the air. "A toast, Ava, to your summer and to your happiness."
We clinked glasses together and I stepped forward to wrap my arms around his neck for a hug. "That's sweet, thanks Tre." I said.
"And to your ass." He added as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I giggled against his neck and pulled away rolling my eyes. "Figures you would ruin a classy toast."
"I consider your ass to be quite classy actually. AND worthy of being included in my toast." He said shrugging. I brushed off his comments as playful and flirty; he was nothing if not a big flirt.
We stood in the kitchen talking for a few more minutes until I excused myself to go back to the party. We barbequed and swam; taking lots of pictures and relishing in the fact that this had turned into a family event without much effort. I loved spending time with my parents and all of the kids; and I wished that Ramona could be here with us; I knew that was hard for Tre.
I was stretched out on a lounger with a strawberry daiquiri in my hand praising Jakob every time he said, "Aunt Ava watch me jump into the water like this!" Twenty times later he was still going strong and I was amazed at his energy; he really was a doll. Before long Joey joined in and they were competing against each other trying to prove who could jump the farthest into the water and who could pull off the coolest trick; after awhile Billie Joe called them out of the water claiming they would turn into toads if they weren't careful and that he wanted them to eat something.
Two very reluctant boys pulled themselves out of the water, frowning all the while as they made their way over to where I was sitting.
"You have all summer to swim... heck, you have all year!" I reminded them as I sat up and handed them both towels.
"Will you swim with us before we have to go?" Jakob asked hopefully, his brown hair flopped across his forehead.
"Sure. But go get something to eat first, k?"
They nodded and scrambled off towards Billie Joe.
Adrienne passed them on their mad dash towards Billie Joe. "Don't run by the pool!" she called.
"Sorry!" they answered in unison, slowing down only when they reached their dad.
Adrienne settled down next to me with a plate of food in her lap and sighed.
"You ok?" I asked leaning back again and crossing my ankles. "You've looked a little stressed out all day. Is it because of mom and dad?" I joked.
She chuckled. "No, actually. It's been kind of nice having them around."
I leaned over and pressed my hand to her forehead. "Nope, you don't feel warm. You must be drunk." I teased as she slapped my hand away.
"No, really. I've liked having mom fussing around me and having dad randomly share ridiculous tidbits of information. The boys are having fun too, I wish we lived closer." She muttered regrettably. "Ollie is two feet down the road and our parents are a million miles away."
"I guess I don't know what you're getting at." I admitted. I was sensing that something large was on the horizon and it couldn't be good.
She looked up at me and frowned. "All I do is bitch to you lately." She mumbled eating a piece of watermelon. "Don't you get sick of it?"
I didn't say anything for a moment. "What happened Adi?"
She stared at her plate for a moment. "Billie Joe and I decided that we are going to take a break for awhile."
I felt like I had been run over by a UPS truck. "What?" I asked leaning in closer. "You're taking a break... now?"
"Last night we had another big fight; the first one in awhile and he ended up sleeping here at Mike's. When he came back this morning we talked about it rationally and we decided that when mom and dad go back to Minnesota he's going to pack up some stuff and live somewhere else for awhile."
I must have looked stunned because she snapped, "Are you really that surprised?"
"I... yeah, I am. I thought you guys finally got past all of the bullshit and the fighting. And what do you mean live somewhere else? Like with Mike or Tre?" I asked.
She shook her head. "No, he's going to rent a small apartment. Something with two bedrooms, a bathroom and a kitchen. What the fuck else does he need? He's always at the fucking studio anyway." She replied bitterly.
"Christ, I'm really sorry." I managed to say, reaching over to pull her into a hug.
She allowed me to hug her briefly before pulling away and shooing me to sit back.
"I don't want to tell mom and dad, ok?"
"Fuck no, I don't blame you." I muttered smirking at her. "No one wants to hear mom preach and squabble about the sanctity of marriage."
We sat in silence for a moment as I was still trying to process everything and she was finishing up her plate of food.
"What about the boys?" I asked suddenly. "Have you told them?"
Her eyes looked a little misty as she turned to look at me again. "That's going to be the hard part... we haven't really thought about what to say to them." She admitted quietly.
"You'll figure it out, Ad. And we'll get through it, we always do." I assured her.
"No one should have to put up with this shit." She burst out angrily. "I want you to promise me right now, Ava, that you will never get involved with a musician, or someone who has to travel all the time for his job. I want you to think long and hard about your relationship with Jack and where it's going, for the sake of your sanity just think it over. "
"Adi, you love your life, you wouldn't change it. You've told me so." I responded.
"I'm not saying I'm not grateful or that I don't love him, but this is no way to fucking live. The schedules, the long distance phone calls, and the simple things that get pushed aside... it's maddening and you deserve better, Ava, you deserve a good life." She said each word accentuated with her bitterness and her anger.
"Adrienne, I don't think... ."
"Promise me." She said cutting me off.
This seemed like a ludicrous pact but looking at the determination on her face I knew that there would be a better chance of me learning Mandarin Chinese in two days before being able to walk away without agreeing. "Ok, yeah, I promise."
She smiled and leaned over to kiss my cheek. "Thanks. Oh, and try some of this cake, it's good."
"Ok." I replied awe struck at the shift in her moods. "I like how you shifted gears from telling me you're leaving your husband of almost 10 years to cake. That's crafty." I mumbled.
She shrugged uncomfortably. "I'm going to go talk to mom and dad for a bit. Need anything?" she asked standing up.
"No, I'm good thanks." I replied as she watched walked away. "Just some anxiety pills, maybe a padded room." I muttered under my breath when she was too far away to hear me. "Jesus."
I tried to push the day's events out of my head but I couldn't. I hated how some days made for the most ridiculous emotional rollercoaster rides and others were just ho-hum and uneventful. I wished for a ho-hum day after this one... and I wished for more booze.
Unfortunately the booze would have to wait because Joey and Jakob forced me to make good on my promise to swim with them before they left.
"Uncle Tre is coming in too!" Jakob exclaimed jumping up and down and pulling me towards the pool.
"That'll be fun." I replied sarcastically.
I vividly remember the last time Tre and I swam together. We were involved in what was supposed to be a friendly game of water basketball with Mike and Sarah; Sarah and I being on the same team. When she and I won he came over and held me under water for damn near two minutes. He's a terrific sport, let me tell ya.
I took off my shorts and tank top and laid them on the chair next to the pool. I saw Tre emerge from inside the house with Frankito, adorned in SpongeBob SquarePants swim trunks and floaties, tearing along behind him.
"Coming in?" Tre asked evilly as he shed his t-shirt.
"Yes and I don't need your help, thank you." I answered walking to the steps that led into the pool.
"It's warm aunt Ava, come in!" Jakob yelled, his lifejacket tucked around his small body guaranteeing he would stay afloat.
"I'm coming buddy, I'm just trying to get used to it." I answered with a wink.
Unfortunately nothing could have prepared me for Tre's grand entrance.
"CANNONBALL!" He screamed running and jumping in, sending a tidal wave of water crashing over my head and on to the sides of the pool. So much for taking my time and getting used to it.
"Yeah cannonball!" Frankito mimicked jumping in a few feet away from where his dad had, making a more polite splash.
Tre surfaced a few feet away from me slicking his hair back and grinning.
"Very nice, Tre. A good example for the kids." I said sarcastically. He grinned wider and winked.
"Did you see my cannonball, daddy?" Frankito asked puttering over the surface of the water into Tre's arms with the help of the flotation devices on his arms.
Tre held him to his chest as he smiled. "Yeah, it was better than mine little man. High five!"
Frankito grinned and laughed as Tre carried him through the water occasionally throwing him up and down and making motor boat noises as he went.
I couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked in his black swim trunks, all slicked down, and holding his adorable son close to him. I snapped back to reality when Joey grabbed on to my hands and begged me to play Marco Polo with him and Jakob. It made me nervous that I would have to close my eyes in a large pool of water with Tre lurking around but I obliged, I was a good sport. We were just about to start the game when Joey decided he would rather play Jaws instead.
"I've never played that, Joe, what do you do?" I asked, again feeling rather alarmed as Tre watched me from across the pool.
"Well uncle Tre can be the shark because dad isn't playing. And the rest of us are swimmers and we have to try not to get eaten." He explained excitedly.
"NOPE, I'm out." I proclaimed starting to wade towards the steps of the pool. "No way am I playing a game where you're handing over the power to him." I said jerking my thumb in Tre's general direction as explanation to the three kids who looked confused at my sudden departure.
"Oh come on, Ava! We're all going to play nice, I promise!" Tre said crossing his heart and smiling innocently.
"Well, I think we need more people than what we have." I said trying to worm my way out of this situation. "Maybe next time though."
"MIKE! BILL! ADRIENNE! JASON! Get your as-- butts in here!" Tre yelled.
I watched as a semi-drunk Billie Joe sauntered towards the pool holding a beer and squatted down next to me as I leaned against the side of the pool unsure of whether to get out or not. "What's he going on about?" he asked.
I peered up into his sunglasses and felt anger bubbling inside of me. "We're trying to get more people to play Jaws." I simply said, silently hoping my glare would turn him to stone. "It would be great if you could play, but we understand if you don't want to; we wouldn't want you to mess up your awesome hair." I said sweetly letting a sarcastic smile roll across my lips.
He glared at me for a second. "That's very grown up of you, Ava." He muttered. "Maybe you should get the whole story before you put your bitch hat on though."
"Have a few more drinks and drive home." I replied before swimming away from him. Billie Joe and I's relationship just officially went from toleration of one another to intolerably strained. And I could have given a shit.
Adrienne ended up joining us in the water along with Mike and Jason, and as Tre promised he behaved himself. As the evening pressed on Adrienne took our parents and the kids back to her house for the night and decided she would stay there instead of coming back; I didn't blame her. Claudia was the last to leave taking with her Frankito and leaving the rest of the adults to play. Before long more drinks had been brought out and this was turning into quite a party. I danced a little bit with Mike and Tre, but mostly I drank a lot. Billie Joe steered clear of me the rest of the night, which was probably a good idea because with the mixture of anger and confusion I was feeling towards Jack being gone and my sister hurting I could have gladly ripped him a new asshole.
Many hours later, with an empty bottle of Jack Daniels sitting between us, Tre and I were sprawled out on the living room floor, sort of tangled up in each other.
"I'm bored." I slurred through my drunken state. "Lets go wake everyone up." I suggested dragging my eyes to where Tre was half sitting, half laying against the couch.
He looked amused but shook his head. "No, they'd all be sober by now and it would be boring for us to be drunk and them to be sober."
I nodded as though he had just spoken words of wisdom.
"That would suck balls." I replied.
That made him start giggling until he snorted, which in turn made me laugh.
"You're such a nerd." I hiccupped, shoving his shoulder a little.
"HEY, let's go swimming again!" he said, sitting up excitedly.
I didn't have a chance to answer because he stood up and stumbled towards the back of the house. Most of the lights had been turned off so I could hear him running into things and cursing. Giggling I pulled myself up with the help of the couch and stumbled after him. The slider that led to the backyard and the pool area was opened half-way and as I walked outside I listened for any signs of Tre's movement.
"Tre?" I covertly whispered.
"Pssst, Ava, over here." I heard Tre whisper back. I giggled again at how absurd this situation was. I walked in the general direction of his voice, my eyes searching through the darkness. As I got closer to the pool I could make out his profile.
"We have to be quiet or we'll wake everyone up." I reminded him, glancing up at the bedroom windows that faced the back of the house. I didn't see anyone peering out, and the last thing I wanted to do was wake someone up at this hour.
"I'll be quiet." He promised. Yeah fucking right. Tre couldn't be quiet if his life depended on it.
I turned back around from inspecting the house to see him pulling off his t-shirt and jeans. I stared for a moment, taking in his delicious form before turning my back to him and clumsily removing my shoes and then my tank top and shorts, glad I was drunk because I knew once I got my bra and underwear wet they would be see through and that would be awkward on any other day.
I jumped when I felt his hand on the small of my back.
"Ready?" he asked, I could smell the distinct scent of the liquor on his breath.
"You first." I answered. He smirked before running over and jumping into the shallow end of the pool.
I laughed when he surfaced moments later hissing and splashing about. "FUCK, that's COLD."
"Shhh. You'll wake someone up." I scolded. He shivered again and ran his hands through his damp hair. "Get your drunken ass in here!" he demanded.
I walked over to the edge of the pool and cautiously dipped my toe in the water, he was right, it was cold. I pulled my foot back out and shivered. I saw him maneuver through the water towards the side of the pool where I was standing, and before it even registered in my drunken mind what he was up to, he grabbed my leg and pulled me into the cold water with him. It felt like four thousand tiny little pickers had been injected into my once warm skin. This was definitely a buzz kill. I sputtered to the surface, hair hanging in my face, and tried to swim to the edge to get out of the pool, but he was too quick; he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back out into the middle of the pool.
"Tre, I want to get out! It's fucking cold!" I complained, slicking my hair back with my hands. It registered a half a second later that the warm skin from his back and his arms were setting my torso on fire with the sensation of being this close to him.
"It's not that cold." He whispered gripping my hips with his hands and pulling me back against his chest.
"Oh yeah, well how come you're using me to keep warm then, smartass?" I mumbled, my teeth chattering a little. "I thought Mike said this thing was fucking heated."
"I'll keep you warm, baby." He joked in a fake porn star voice.
I shivered at the feel of his warm breath on my neck, so close to my ear.
"Maybe we should go in the hot tub." He suggested upon feeling me shiver.
I nodded. "Good idea."
He continued to hold me against him as we made our way through the pool to the steps. I all but ran over to the hot tub and climbed into the welcoming oasis.
I immediately relaxed into the warm water, closing my eyes; mostly to avoid checking Tre out as he took his time settling down into the warm water opposite of me. When he finally leaned back into the warm water a small groan escaped his lips, and I found it hard to keep my composure. I wonder what it would be like to...
"Ava! Earth to Ava!"
I snapped my head up. "What?" I mumbled opening my eyes and looking at him.
"You were a million miles away." He chuckled. "I thought you fell asleep."
I shook my head. "Just enjoying being in here." I hoped my blush wasn't noticeable, I could always just blame it on the alcohol. It always made my cheeks rosey.
"With me?" he asked curiously.
"Eh, I would prefer to soak with Jake Gyllenhaal but I guess you'll do." I teased, leaning against the headrest and still maintaining eye contact.
"I'm way hotter than that guy." He bragged turning his noise up in the air.
I smiled. "I guess you're right." I didn't even bother to look at him as I closed my eyes and sighed.
We sat in silence for a moment and I really thought I was going to slip into a deep sleep when I felt his hand on my right calf.
"What are you doing?" I murmured. "Don't even think about dunking me." I warned.
He didn't say anything but I felt his hand massaging my calf for a moment before sliding down my ankle to my foot. He grabbed my foot gently and rested it on his knee.
"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.
He didn't say anything but he kept eye contact with me; his blue eyes twinkling. I was just about to move my foot out of fear when he started to massage the sole of my foot with his thumb.
I couldn't help but groan. I felt my whole body relax as he continued to massage my right foot.
"Gimme your other one." He said after a few minutes. I eagerly complied, surrendering my left foot to this wonderful man. I groaned again when he began to knead both of my feet.
"Mmmm, I love you so much right now." I murmured, which caused him to chuckle.
"You're easily won over." He joked, moving his hands up to rub my ankles.
"I love having my feet rubbed." I replied. "Jack used to rub my feet almost every night, I was so spoiled."
He grinned. "What did you give him in return?"
I cracked one eye and glared at him. "You're so inappropriate."
He stopped rubbing my feet and I raised my head in protest and whimpered.
"Don't stop." I said giving him my infamous puppy dog eyes and smiling contently when he caved and started massaging my feet again.
"I remember that you give really good back rubs." He said nonchalantly after a few minutes of just listening to the jets in the hot tub hum.
"Uhhmm." I agreed, loving the sensation of his hands dancing over my ankles and feet.
"I'd like one of those now." He stated, as though it was obviously the next installment in our evening.
I opened my eyes and looked at him
"This fucking figures, I thought you were just doing a nice thing by rubbing my feet, but no; there has to be something in it for you." I replied chuckling.
"Please?" he begged. "I had a hard day today."
"Really? Doing what? Drinking beer and hanging out by the grill. Wow, you're right, that's strenuous work."
He started to tickle the bottoms of my feet and I responded by jerking my feet back and setting them back on the bottom of the hot tub. "Don't tickle me!" I giggled.
"Come here and give me a back rub then." He replied playfully.
I didn't want to let him know that touching his muscular body would probably send me into cardiac arrest, but I complied just because I wanted to be that close to him. And I was drunk; I could probably be convinced to set my hair on fire at this point. He sat forward a little as I waded over to kneel behind him.
"You best be grateful for this." I grumbled. "And behave yourself too."
He laughed. "I'll be good, I promise. Or will I?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"You've never been good a day in your life." I said as I balanced on my knees and started to rub his shoulder blades, hypnotized once again by the way the water was bubbling around his slightly tanned skin. It reminded me of the night back in January when we sat in his new hot tub and talked into the wee hours of the morning.
"Jesus, you are tense. I could mountain climb up your back." I joked.
"Feel free, Ava... feel free, just don't stop." He mumbled.
I felt his muscles starting to loosen up as I rubbed my hands over his neck and shoulder blades some more. He leaned back into me when I moved my hands lower to the middle of his back. I was starting to get really warm and it wasn't because of the water temperature. My body was tingling from being this close to him, and the intimacy of which I was touching him. I watched his head drop forward when I traced my fingers from the middle of his back up into his hair, massaging his scalp, and then back down again. I started kneading the muscles in his lower back a little harder, enjoying the way he was groaning and leaning into my touch. I jumped a little when he reached his hands back and rested them on my thighs for balance. I was officially on fire.
"Ava, you are a goddess... " he murmured. "Don't stop."
Damn, I wanted him and the fact that I was drunk and lonely over Jack's departure wasn't really allowing my usual common sense and willpower to make an appearance at this particular junction in the evening. I felt my desire rising to an unhealthy level as he leaned back against me even more, gripping my thighs and pressing his back against the thin material of my bra. I lowered my hands to his lower back massaging some more, but then I decided to take a different route. I moved my hands over his narrow hips running my hands up his stomach to his chest and then raking my fingernails back down again.
I felt his body stiffen again as he moaned and moved to grab my hands, which were currently resting on his thighs. He turned slightly to his side to look at me better, his eyes shone with confusion and desire. And maybe a little Jack Daniels.
"That was some massage." He joked. "I'm hard as a fucking rock."
Just then the flood lights at the back of the house came on, showering us in a blinding light. I quickly untangled myself from Tre, and moved to the opposite side of the hot tub, doing my best not to laugh or look at him. What the HELL were we doing?
Mike strolled out of the house a second later, looking confused and sleepy.
"What the fuck are you guys doing?" he asked. GOOD QUESTION, Mikey-boy.
He stopped next to the pool, taking in our discarded clothes and smirked.
"Doing some late night swimming?" He mused, raising an eyebrow.
I attempted to covertly cover my chest as I looked over at Tre who also looked a little anxious. I could tell he wasn't too happy about our unscheduled interruption. I was amused, a little disappointed, but mostly relieved that Mike interrupted us. Apparently I couldn't trust myself around Tre; not that this was news.
"We were bored, thought we would go for a swim." I explained, finally finding my voice.
Mike nodded. "There are extra towels in the pool house if you want em'."
"Thanks Mikey, sorry to wake you." I answered.
He looked at both of us and smirked one last time before turning around and walking back into the house. I turned to Tre who had been silent the whole time; a dead give away that we were up to no good. His face was flushed and his eyes were a dark blue.
"Thanks for freezing up, ass, you made us look guilty. There's no way he's going to believe nothing was going on." I scolded.
"Get.Back.Over.Here." Tre replied through gritted teeth.
"Are you kidding? We probably have an audience now." I replied. It was hard for me to say no, but the moment was kind of ruined and I intended to walk away before we really got carried away. I could already feel my alcohol induced moment of retardation demanding my attention and soon the mortification of what I had just done would creep in.
"That's never stopped me before." He said seductively raising his eyebrow.
"I don't think so, Tre. We should probably just go to bed." I watched him break into a smile. "SEPERATELY. Each of us in our own beds. Different rooms. Down the hall." I amended, standing up shakily and letting the water run off of me. I watched as his eyes ran up and down my body and he licked his lips.
"Ava, this is not over." He promised, holding my gaze for a moment.
I stepped out of the hot tub and walked into the house without another glance at him or another word. I quietly ascended the stairs, not wishing to have another confrontation with Mike; I knew he would question me about the happenings in his hot tub tomorrow. So the lesson of tonight: Alcohol+Tre+water= poor choices being made.
I flipped on the light in the guest room I was staying in and was about to shut the door when Tre passed my doorway, nearly giving me a heartache when he stepped out of the darkness. He was carrying his clothes in one hand and he was still wet.
"If you need anything... you know where I am. And I mean anything, Ava." He said in a hushed voice, leaning against the doorway. I felt my insides fire up again at his seductive tone and direct implications.
"Night Tre." I simply said, quickly closing the door.
Awhile later I was still tossing and turning trying to assess my day; coming to the conclusion that instead of getting a grip on reality and not using alcohol as a method of escape I got a grip on Tre instead. Oh. My. God. I smacked myself in the head, which was a poor choice considering I had a headache the size of Africa threatening to invade my senses. I tossed around a few more times before deciding there was only one thing that was going to fix this. I stepped out of my room and praised the plush carpet for silencing my steps as I crept down the hall. I silently hoped I picked the right room; it would be awkward to end up crawling into bed next to Billie Joe or something... although then I could suffocate him with his pillow while he slept. That thought made me smile to myself, and I made a mental note to give myself a hug later for coming up with that.
I gripped the door handle belonging to the room three down from mine and pushed it open, once again hoping I had this right because I realized almost immediately that I couldn't see a damn thing. I felt blindly for a bedpost or something once I had shut the door and stepped into the room. I knew I had found the bed when my left kneecap slammed into something hard and unforgiving.
"Fuck me!" I yelped in pain and in the process tripping myself on my own pajama bottom pants and falling to the floor.
I laid on the ground for a moment before I heard Tre's unmistakable laugh bounce through the dark room.
"How romantic of you. You come to seduce me and you end up assaulting my bed." He teased.
I giggled and crawled over to the side of the bed, finally adjusting a little to the dark. He was lying on his stomach and assumingly naked but he sat up a little when I crawled into bed next to him.
"Hey kid." He whispered propping his head up on his hand.
"I hurt my knee." I whimpered scooting closer and pulling my pajama pant up over my wounded kneecap.
"Want me to kiss it?" he asked trailing his fingers over my afflicted leg.
"Umm yeah. Your bed bit me; I see this as being partially your fault so you need to make this up to me." I answered.
He smiled and sat up before wrapping his hands around my knee and placing small kisses all around it. Yep he was naked, which made me entertain the idea of throwing him down and having my way with him but I quickly shook that thought from my head. I didn't come here for that.
"Better?" he questioned looking at me through the darkness.
"It's a start." He chuckled as he laid back down next to me.
"I'm conflicted." I admitted turning on my side to face him.
"Why for?" he questioned in a southern accent making me giggle.
"Billie Joe and Adrienne are taking a break... but you probably already know that." I answered.
He sighed. "Yeah, he told me this morning. I'm sorry, Ava."
"Unless he's leaving Adi to be with you then you have nothing to feel sorry for." I joked. "It just makes me sad."
I tensed for a moment when he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer against him.
"Unfortunately I didn't come to sleep with you." I whispered. "I'm just so screwed up over Jack leaving and Adrienne dropping this bomb on me, I just need you to ignore my stupidity for the time being because I'm not sure what the fuck I'm doing."
He shrugged. "Everything is fucked up right now, Ava. We'll figure it all out tomorrow."
"We probably should tell Mike to put some extra chlorine in the hot tub too." I said a few minutes later, feeling quite drowsy and utterly content.
He laughed a little and kissed my forehead. "We'll also make a note to pretend that didn't happen." He replied. "Night kid."
As I laid there with him I felt a sense of calmness come over me even though I knew I should have been feeling the complete opposite. My world had been flipped upside down in a short period of time with Jack leaving a few days earlier requesting that I make a decision about staying together or making our current 'break' permanent; plus Adrienne's big news guaranteeing that life would be shit for the next couple of weeks and possibly months, and now this private moment with Tre that I didn't understand. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other; staring, touching, flirting.
I decided no matter what this would be the absolute last time Tre and I messed around alcohol or no alcohol; we were friends. Not friends with benefits, just friends, attraction to each other be damned.
