F.O.D., chapter 2
Becky snored and dribbled into her seat beat as Kathryn negociated another sharp turn on the slippery, wet road. So far, their shopping/getting-over-Ben expodition hadn't gone so well.
They'd gone to a punk store in a large shopping mall South of their high school, Becky had managed to get into an argument with a shop assistant, and a horrible preppy blonde girl from their school.
In fact, you could say so far it had been going terribly.
Kathryn and her best friend had been walking towards the carpark when this disgustingly slutty blonde girl had called out to them. They'd walked over, out of curiousity (they'd NEVER spoken to this girl), and the girl had, with hand on hip, said, laughing
'So, Becky, how's Ben? '
Her friend had answered.
'Too busy with Danielle I guess?'
Becky had lost it. She punched the second girl in the face. Hard. Kathryn pulled her off her, and they ran, as fast as they could, towards the carpark.
Once they had driven a safe distance away, Kathryn said.
'What the fuck do you think you are doing? I know that your devastated, but smashing some stupid cum guzzling gutter slut is NOT going to help you feel any better!'
'I know that now. It didn't help. It's actually made my knuckles hurt quite a bit.' She said, with the closest thing to laughter in her voice.
Kathryn looked sideways, catching a glimpse of the devious glint in Becky's eye.
'Well, it was pretty funny.
And Terrifying.'
'Yeah. ' Becky replied. She was back in her trance like state.
'C'mon Becks, if that had happened any other time you'd be rolling around in your seat laughing till your lungs hurt.'
'But it's not any other time is it?'
'No.' She paused. 'Unfortunately it's not...'
Becks, I wish there was something I could say to make the 2 years of your life that that cockless wonder wasted less painful for you, or to make you realise that you deserve some body infinentely better than him, and that soon your heart will stop tearing itself apart, but I can't. All I can do is to remind you that I will always be here for you no matter what.'
'I know, it's just right now all I want is to be locked in a dark room somewhere, trying not to think about it. But, thank you for careing.' Becky replied, holding back tears.
'Your welcome, now, let's go rock out, ok?'
'Why not?' Becky said, feeling ever so slightly better.
'You've still got your fake I. D right?'
'Yeah, I think.'
'Alright, because I've never been to this joint before, i'd say we will need them to get in.'
'Where are you taking me? '
'Just wait, you'll see.' She shot Becky a devious look as they turned into a small carpark outside a dark, grungry looking building. As they got out of the car, Becky took in a deep breathe of the cool night air, pushing thoughts of Ben to the back of her mind. He was not going to ruin this for her.
He had already destroyed everything else.
'Lets do this thing.' She said, more to herself than to Kathryn. For the first time in 4 days, she felt half human again.
***
They had been in the seedy punk club for about 2 hours. The main act of the evening was about to come on, Becky, despite herslef, was excited.
The band was announed.
They were called Green day.
Three casually dressed scruffy looking 19 year old punks walked out onto the stage and picked up their instruments.
The short, confident lead singer and guitarist introduced his band:
'Hi, I'm Billie Joe, and we're Green Day. Mike, Tre and I are going to perform for you our album, 1, 039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours. Here's 'At the Library. '
They started playing. Becky thought they had a really catchy raw sound. She watched intently for a while, then went back to her whiskey.
Normally, she would be enjoying the band.
Not tonight.
The way she felt, her life had been bled of its joy.
Now all there was was pain.
The band finished their first song, and began another, that Billie Joe introduced as 'Don't leave me.'
The title drew Becky's attention back to the band.
Billie Joe sang, so pained, so beautifully:
I'll Go For Miles
Until I Find You
And You Say You Want To Leave Me
But You Can't Choose
I've Gone Through Pain
Every Day And Night
I Feel My Mind Is Going Insane
Something I Can't Fight
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
A Blank Expression
Covering Your Face
I'm Looking For Directions
For Out Of This Place
I Start To Wonder
If You'll Come Back
I Feel The Rain Storming After Thunder
I Can't Hold Back
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Oh! I'll Go For Miles
Until I Find You
And You Say You Want To Leave Me
But You Can't Choose
I've Gone Through Pain
Every Day And Night
I Feel My Mind Is Going Insane
Something I Can't Fight
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
By the end of the song, Becky had broken down. She had to get out of there.
So, with tears streaming down her face, she fled the club, and the music that had reached her so deeply.
She leant against the cold brick wall, face in hands, and again, cried her eyes out, her broken sobs screaming into the night.
After about 35 minutes of strangled crying, Becky heard the flimsy door she had rushed out of crash open. A figure emerged, panting, looking for someone.
Becky tried to slide into the shadows, but the figure turned, and walked towards her.
'Hey, are you alright?' Said the male voice. It was familiar.
Becky sniffed.
'I'll be fine. How did you know I was out here?'
'I saw you before, you started crying. Then I ran into your friend, um, Kathryn I think it was, who was panicing. She thinks you've been abducted or something.'
She couldn't help but smile. A little. That was Kath alright. She walked towards the figure, into the light off the street. She recognised the face.
'Oh. I didn't know it was you. Aren't you supposed to be-'
'On stage? ' He asked, cutting her off. 'Yeah, but I thought a young women balling her eyes out in a back alley was more important. I'm Billie Joe Armstrong by the way.'
'Hi. Thank you, by the way. I'm Becky Tailor.'
'Alright Miss Tailor, I shall escort you back inside to your hysterical friend, if your feeling any better? ' He said, arm outstretched, acting like an obnoxious concierge.
'I don't need an escort.' She said, walking past him.
'Ouch. Are you always this friendly?'
'No. Usually I would have punched you by now.'
'Nice. Atleast your honest.' He said, opening the door for her.
'That I am.' And with that, she walked back inside, leaving a slightly taken aback Billie Joe standing in the doorway.
***
Becky found Kathryn alright. SHe kind of wished she hadn't.
'BECKY! BECKY! OVER HERE!' She yelled, beckoning her over.
'I was so worried, where were you?' SHe said, suspicious.
'No where.' Becky replied, her face blank. She didn't want people, not even her best friend, knowing how upset she was.
'Sure you where. As long as you alright, I don't mind. Are you?'
'Yeah, I'm just GREAT.' Becky replied, spitting sarcasm. Kathryn flinched, as though Becky had hit her.
'Someones not in a good mood then. Lets get some more drinks and enjoy the gig, shall we?'
'Whatever.' Becky said, reaching for another whisky.
***
The night drew to a close. Becky stood in the carpark, waiting for Kathryn to finish flirting with some sleazing looking 20 something year old.
3 figures walked towards her. It was the guys from Green Day.
'Hey Becky, how are you going?' Without waiting for a response, Billie Joe continued. 'Guys, this is the young woman I told you about. The Upset one.
This is Mike and Tre. This is Becky.' He said pointing.
Becky didn't like being labelled 'the upset one.'
'C'mon Kath, lets go!' She said, turning her back on the other 3, being deliberately rude. Turning back, she said, with a sneer in her voice, 'Hi.'
SHe really didn't want to be there.
'Becky, can I, um, talk to you for a minute?' The uncertainty in his Billie Joe's voice stunned her, and she found herself slowly nodding.
'I just wondered what had made a beautiful girl such as yourself so upset. If you ever want to talk, my numbers on there.' He said, handing her a torn peice of paper.
'You would always be welcome.' He said, touching her hand.
Becky had no idea how to react. She was not ready for this. Not yet. Was she?
Billie Joe said good bye, walked back to his band mates, and dissapeared into the darkness towards their van.
When Becky returned to the car, Kathryn was leaning on it, smoking a cigarette.
'Well...'
'Well what?'
'What was that about? You gonna hook up with the lead singer of Green Day?'
'Fuck off. All he wanted was to talk.'
'Yaha. Just like all Ben wanted from Danielle was to talk.' She stopped, realising what she had just said.
'Oh shit, I'm sorry.'
'It's alright. Lets go. ' Becky said, clipping her seat belt.
As Kathryn started the car, Becky glimpsed at the note still in her hand.
To her amazement, it said.
'I want to see you again. Please call anytime.'
She was so confused. SHe had been such a bitch to him. WHy did he care so?
They'd gone to a punk store in a large shopping mall South of their high school, Becky had managed to get into an argument with a shop assistant, and a horrible preppy blonde girl from their school.
In fact, you could say so far it had been going terribly.
Kathryn and her best friend had been walking towards the carpark when this disgustingly slutty blonde girl had called out to them. They'd walked over, out of curiousity (they'd NEVER spoken to this girl), and the girl had, with hand on hip, said, laughing
'So, Becky, how's Ben? '
Her friend had answered.
'Too busy with Danielle I guess?'
Becky had lost it. She punched the second girl in the face. Hard. Kathryn pulled her off her, and they ran, as fast as they could, towards the carpark.
Once they had driven a safe distance away, Kathryn said.
'What the fuck do you think you are doing? I know that your devastated, but smashing some stupid cum guzzling gutter slut is NOT going to help you feel any better!'
'I know that now. It didn't help. It's actually made my knuckles hurt quite a bit.' She said, with the closest thing to laughter in her voice.
Kathryn looked sideways, catching a glimpse of the devious glint in Becky's eye.
'Well, it was pretty funny.
And Terrifying.'
'Yeah. ' Becky replied. She was back in her trance like state.
'C'mon Becks, if that had happened any other time you'd be rolling around in your seat laughing till your lungs hurt.'
'But it's not any other time is it?'
'No.' She paused. 'Unfortunately it's not...'
Becks, I wish there was something I could say to make the 2 years of your life that that cockless wonder wasted less painful for you, or to make you realise that you deserve some body infinentely better than him, and that soon your heart will stop tearing itself apart, but I can't. All I can do is to remind you that I will always be here for you no matter what.'
'I know, it's just right now all I want is to be locked in a dark room somewhere, trying not to think about it. But, thank you for careing.' Becky replied, holding back tears.
'Your welcome, now, let's go rock out, ok?'
'Why not?' Becky said, feeling ever so slightly better.
'You've still got your fake I. D right?'
'Yeah, I think.'
'Alright, because I've never been to this joint before, i'd say we will need them to get in.'
'Where are you taking me? '
'Just wait, you'll see.' She shot Becky a devious look as they turned into a small carpark outside a dark, grungry looking building. As they got out of the car, Becky took in a deep breathe of the cool night air, pushing thoughts of Ben to the back of her mind. He was not going to ruin this for her.
He had already destroyed everything else.
'Lets do this thing.' She said, more to herself than to Kathryn. For the first time in 4 days, she felt half human again.
***
They had been in the seedy punk club for about 2 hours. The main act of the evening was about to come on, Becky, despite herslef, was excited.
The band was announed.
They were called Green day.
Three casually dressed scruffy looking 19 year old punks walked out onto the stage and picked up their instruments.
The short, confident lead singer and guitarist introduced his band:
'Hi, I'm Billie Joe, and we're Green Day. Mike, Tre and I are going to perform for you our album, 1, 039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours. Here's 'At the Library. '
They started playing. Becky thought they had a really catchy raw sound. She watched intently for a while, then went back to her whiskey.
Normally, she would be enjoying the band.
Not tonight.
The way she felt, her life had been bled of its joy.
Now all there was was pain.
The band finished their first song, and began another, that Billie Joe introduced as 'Don't leave me.'
The title drew Becky's attention back to the band.
Billie Joe sang, so pained, so beautifully:
I'll Go For Miles
Until I Find You
And You Say You Want To Leave Me
But You Can't Choose
I've Gone Through Pain
Every Day And Night
I Feel My Mind Is Going Insane
Something I Can't Fight
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
A Blank Expression
Covering Your Face
I'm Looking For Directions
For Out Of This Place
I Start To Wonder
If You'll Come Back
I Feel The Rain Storming After Thunder
I Can't Hold Back
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Oh! I'll Go For Miles
Until I Find You
And You Say You Want To Leave Me
But You Can't Choose
I've Gone Through Pain
Every Day And Night
I Feel My Mind Is Going Insane
Something I Can't Fight
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
Don't Leave Me
By the end of the song, Becky had broken down. She had to get out of there.
So, with tears streaming down her face, she fled the club, and the music that had reached her so deeply.
She leant against the cold brick wall, face in hands, and again, cried her eyes out, her broken sobs screaming into the night.
After about 35 minutes of strangled crying, Becky heard the flimsy door she had rushed out of crash open. A figure emerged, panting, looking for someone.
Becky tried to slide into the shadows, but the figure turned, and walked towards her.
'Hey, are you alright?' Said the male voice. It was familiar.
Becky sniffed.
'I'll be fine. How did you know I was out here?'
'I saw you before, you started crying. Then I ran into your friend, um, Kathryn I think it was, who was panicing. She thinks you've been abducted or something.'
She couldn't help but smile. A little. That was Kath alright. She walked towards the figure, into the light off the street. She recognised the face.
'Oh. I didn't know it was you. Aren't you supposed to be-'
'On stage? ' He asked, cutting her off. 'Yeah, but I thought a young women balling her eyes out in a back alley was more important. I'm Billie Joe Armstrong by the way.'
'Hi. Thank you, by the way. I'm Becky Tailor.'
'Alright Miss Tailor, I shall escort you back inside to your hysterical friend, if your feeling any better? ' He said, arm outstretched, acting like an obnoxious concierge.
'I don't need an escort.' She said, walking past him.
'Ouch. Are you always this friendly?'
'No. Usually I would have punched you by now.'
'Nice. Atleast your honest.' He said, opening the door for her.
'That I am.' And with that, she walked back inside, leaving a slightly taken aback Billie Joe standing in the doorway.
***
Becky found Kathryn alright. SHe kind of wished she hadn't.
'BECKY! BECKY! OVER HERE!' She yelled, beckoning her over.
'I was so worried, where were you?' SHe said, suspicious.
'No where.' Becky replied, her face blank. She didn't want people, not even her best friend, knowing how upset she was.
'Sure you where. As long as you alright, I don't mind. Are you?'
'Yeah, I'm just GREAT.' Becky replied, spitting sarcasm. Kathryn flinched, as though Becky had hit her.
'Someones not in a good mood then. Lets get some more drinks and enjoy the gig, shall we?'
'Whatever.' Becky said, reaching for another whisky.
***
The night drew to a close. Becky stood in the carpark, waiting for Kathryn to finish flirting with some sleazing looking 20 something year old.
3 figures walked towards her. It was the guys from Green Day.
'Hey Becky, how are you going?' Without waiting for a response, Billie Joe continued. 'Guys, this is the young woman I told you about. The Upset one.
This is Mike and Tre. This is Becky.' He said pointing.
Becky didn't like being labelled 'the upset one.'
'C'mon Kath, lets go!' She said, turning her back on the other 3, being deliberately rude. Turning back, she said, with a sneer in her voice, 'Hi.'
SHe really didn't want to be there.
'Becky, can I, um, talk to you for a minute?' The uncertainty in his Billie Joe's voice stunned her, and she found herself slowly nodding.
'I just wondered what had made a beautiful girl such as yourself so upset. If you ever want to talk, my numbers on there.' He said, handing her a torn peice of paper.
'You would always be welcome.' He said, touching her hand.
Becky had no idea how to react. She was not ready for this. Not yet. Was she?
Billie Joe said good bye, walked back to his band mates, and dissapeared into the darkness towards their van.
When Becky returned to the car, Kathryn was leaning on it, smoking a cigarette.
'Well...'
'Well what?'
'What was that about? You gonna hook up with the lead singer of Green Day?'
'Fuck off. All he wanted was to talk.'
'Yaha. Just like all Ben wanted from Danielle was to talk.' She stopped, realising what she had just said.
'Oh shit, I'm sorry.'
'It's alright. Lets go. ' Becky said, clipping her seat belt.
As Kathryn started the car, Becky glimpsed at the note still in her hand.
To her amazement, it said.
'I want to see you again. Please call anytime.'
She was so confused. SHe had been such a bitch to him. WHy did he care so?
