What's With This Girl?, chapter 21
I woke up around 9 in the morning, still wrapped in Dannie's arms. I can't believe that I almost told him I was pregnant. What on earth was I thinking? Every time I think about telling him, I stop and think about when he found out I slept with Tre. I just don't want that to happen again. I never told you this before, but when Dannie gets pissed, he gets violent. I'm not saying that he hurt me the way he did that day, but he has hit me a couple of times after that day. I haven't told anyone, not even Monty. I just don't want to be judged by anyone.
It was about 9:15 when Dylan came into my room.
"Kira," He said. "Are you awake?"
"I am now," I said. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to see if you were awake."
"Well I am. So what's up?"
"I'm worried about something."
"About what?"
"Kayla. What's going to happen to her? Do you really think you'll be able to get custody of her?"
"I think I can. I mean I don't see why they wouldn't."
"I'm just worried about her. At this point I really don't care what they do to me, but I want my sister to be okay."
"Dylan, listen to me, I promise you that I will let nothing happen to you or your sister ever again."
"Dylan!" I heard Kayla yell. "Dylan where are you?"
"I'm in here Kayla."
"Dylan I woke up and you were gone. you said you wouldn't leave. You can't leave me by myself like that. I could've choked on something!" Kayla said running into my room.
"I'm sorry Kayla," Dylan said. "I only went to see if Kira was awake."
"Oh okay. Well I guess that's okay," Kayla said.
"Look guys you go get dressed and I'll get us breakfast okay?"
"Okay Kira," Kayla and Dylan said in unison.
After Dylan and Kayla left the room I went to go take a shower, got dressed and called for some room service. When I went back into my room, I saw that Dannie was still sleeping.
"Dannie wake up sweetie," I whispered in his ear.
"Mmmmm...hey baby," Dannie whispered back. "Where are the kids?"
"They went to go get dressed."
"So...are you really serious about adopting Kayla and Dylan?"
"Of course I am," I said.
"It's just that, you know, I'm not sure if we're ready," Dannie said.
"You're not sure if we're ready? You mean, ready to be parents?"
"Well...yeah. I mean come on, look at our lifestyles. We're always on the road, or at parties. Do you seriously think that is the life fit for children? We're 22 years old. We have all the time in the world for children. I think we're both too young."
"Billie and Adie can do it. They were pretty young when they had they had Joey. And they've been married for years. So you think we're too young for kids, but we're old enough to get married?"
"Kira you're taking this the wrong way," Dannie said.
"But that's what you're saying isn't it? Or is this your way of saying I'm not responsible enough of take care of Kayla and Dylan?"
"Kira, come on let's not fight about this."
"It's true! You don't think I'm responsible do you?"
"Kira that's not what I meant."
"Yes it is! Stop lying and just say it. What do you think will possibly go wrong if I do adopt Kayla and Dylan? What, do you think I'm going to kill them?"
"Kira, you're not being fair. Look, I'm going to take a shower, and go down the hall to see Billie, maybe by then you'll calm down a little."
I hate it when we fight about stupid stuff like this. I can't believe he doesn't think I'm ready for children. But, what if he's right? What if I'm not ready for kids? I don't want to be a bad mother to Kayla, Dylan, or my own baby.
I went out to the living room and saw Dylan and Kayla eating breakfast in front of the television.
"Kira, sorry I forgot to tell you that room service came," Dylan said.
"It's okay Dylan," I said "As long as you didn't eat all the food."
"We saved you and Dannie some," Kayla said.
I grabbed my plate off the kitchen counter, and sat next to Dylan on the floor.
"Hey Kira?" Dylan said.
"Yeah Dylan?"
"I think you're going to make a great mother."
"I guess you heard that argument me and Dannie had," I said.
"Yeah. I think you're going to make an amazing mom."
"Yeah, you'll be a great mommy," Kayla said.
"Thanks guys," I said.
After we finished eating I took Dylan and Kayla's plates away. While I was washing them, I heard someone knock on the door.
"I'll get it," Dylan said.
Dylan got up off the floor and went to answer the door.
"Um...Kira...you may want to come here," Dylan said.
"What's wrong Dylan, who's at the door?"
"It's social services," Dylan said.
"Umm... ... how can I help you?" I said.
"Hi my name is Ms. McDowell, I'm with Child services. I've been told that you have Dylan and Kayla Hewitt in your custody."
"Well, yes I do."
"What exactly is your relationship with them?"
"They're my step brother and sister. And if it's okay with you, I would like to have custody of them."
"Well Ms. Belle, it's not that easy. May I come in?"
"Oh yeah sure, sorry."
She walked past me and Dylan and sat on the couch.
"So what do I have to do to get custody of Dylan and Kayla?" I said.
"Well first of all, both guardians would have to give up guardianship of the kids," Ms McDowell said.
"Well, both legal guardians are dead," I said.
"Well in that case I see no problem with you legally adopting Kayla and Dylan, except for one thing."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, your mother, Mrs. Hewitt. She also wants custody of the children."
"What!" I yelled. "You can't be serious."
"She says that they are the only part of Mr. Hewitt she has left."
"That's crazy! The only reason she wants them is so she could use them for the money and take her anger out on them."
"That may be so, but she is Mr. Hewitt's wife, and she should be the one taking care of them."
"But what if I could prove that she was unfit to take care of them?" I said.
"Well, if you could, then custody might be able to go to you."
"That's great," I said, "so I guess that's it."
"Well not exactly. I have to take the kids with me until the custody hearing. And...We have to take Dylan to juvenile court."
"What! NO!" I yelled. "Ms. McDowell you have to understand, it was a complete freak accident."
"That may be, but still you have to understand that he killed a man, his own father at that. We just can't pretend like this didn't happen."
"I know but please just, can I keep him until the trial is over? Please?"
"I'm sorry but I can't do that," she said. "Dylan and Kayla have to come with me."
"Kira," I heard Kayla say. "I don't want to go. Please, can I stay here?"
"I'm so sorry Kayla, but you have to go with Ms McDowell okay."
"No, Kira I don't want to go. Please don't make me go."
"Kayla I'm so sorry," I said trying to hold back tears. "Dylan, go get you and your sister's bags."
Dylan ran in the back while Kayla ran to me crying.
"Please Kira, don't make me go, I don't want to. I like being here with Tre and Ramona, and Billie and Adie and Mike. I like all your friends and I like being with you. Please, I won't be any trouble. Just please let me stay."
"Kayla, I want you to stay with me, but you only have to go for a little while okay. It won't be long. And when you come back, I'll take you to California with me okay? I'll take you home with me."
"You promise?" Kayla asked.
"I promise Kayla." I said.
"Umm... .. Here's your bag Kayla." Dylan said.
Kayla gave Dylan a big hug.
"Don't cry Kayla, I'll be okay I promise. You just be a good girl okay?"
"Okay Dylan."
Kayla and Dylan both came over to me and gave me a huge hug.
"I'm so sorry you guys," I said. "I'm so sorry I let this happen to you."
"It's okay, Kira. You did all you could," Dylan said.
"Well, I have to take them now Ms. Belle," Ms. McDowell said.
"Olay guys, you got to go," I said. "Make sure you take care of them."
"We will Ms. Belle," She said.
I watched as Dylan and Kayla were taken out of my hotel room and taken out of my lives. I was devastated. I could hardly breathe. I felt terrible. I ran into my room, jumped on the bed and cried my eyes out. I laid there for hours until I heard someone knock on my door. I got off the bed and opened the door.
"Hey Kira." Tre said. "I brought Ramona over so she could play with Dylan and Kayla."
"They aren't here, Tre," I said.
"Where are they, do Billie and Mike have them?"
"No, Child Services has them."
"What? What happened Kira?"
"My mom called Child Services on me and they came and took Kayla away, and Dylan has to go to juvenile court."
"Kira, I don't know what to say."
"There's nothing to say Tre," I said as I walked over to the couch and sat on it.
"Ramona you stay in here and watch TV. Me and Kira are going to go in the back and talk okay?"
"Okay dad," Ramona said.
"Come on Kira. We got to talk about this." Tre came over and took my hand and we walked into my room. I told Tre everything that happened today, and everything I was feeling.
"So Dannie really doesn't think you're ready for a baby?" Tre said.
"No, he doesn't. And now I'm starting to think that he's right."
"Kira, don't think like that, you're going to be a great mother, I can tell. I mean look at you, you're honest, you're selfless, you care so much about other people, and you put other's people's problems before your own. You're everything a mother should be. You're smart, and pretty, and amazing, and beautiful... ."
"Tre I got it," I said laughing.
"See I made you laugh," He said.
"Yeah but those last three compliments aren't useful for being a parent," I said.
"But you know it's all true," He said.
"I guess it is. I don't know," I said.
"Do you need to be alone right now?" Tre asked.
"Yeah I kind of do," I said.
"All right, I'll take Ramona and leave you alone."
Tre gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the room. After a while I went to sleep. I woke around 1 o'clock when I heard someone come into the room.
"Dannie." I said. "Dannie baby is that you?"
"Yeah it's me," He said back.
"Dannie where were you? You were gone since this morning," I asked.
"Jesus can't I just go down the hall for a minute," He said.
"Yeah you can but you can at least call Dannie. You have been doing this a lot lately. Disappearing with Billie and Mike and not coming back until late at night. What the hell do you guys do?"
"I don't ask you what you and Tre do."
"That's different Dannie; at least I tell you where I'm going. And at least I try to call you."
"Whatever Kira. Look I don't feel like arguing tonight okay. Jesus, that's all we've been doing for the past few weeks. All you want to do is take everything I say the wrong fucking way Kira."
"That's not true Dannie," I said.
"Yeah it is. Everything I do you find something that's wrong with it."
"Dannie, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You've been swaying back and forth the whole time. You can't even stand still. And you know what...you smell funny."
"What?" he said.
"You smell like...you smell like weed. Have you been smoking pot?"
"Okay so maybe I have. You're not the only who's allowed to have all the fun."
"So that's where you've been going. You've been going out getting high. You're always yelling at me about drinking, but you're out getting high with Billie and Mike."
"I'm not the one with the drinking problem," Dannie said.
"I don't have a drinking problem!"
"Yes you do. You want to know what the problem is? Every time you drink, you can't seem to keep your pants on!"
"That's not fair Dannie!" I yelled.
"Don't try to tell me what's fair and not fair bitch!"
"You didn't have to call me a fucking bitch you pothead!" I yelled.
"But isn't it true? Every time you get drunk you fuck Tre right? How many other times did you fuck him, huh Kira?"
Dannie came towards me and grabbed my wrists.
"Dannie let me go," I yelled.
"But it's true right? You've been with him before right?"
"Dannie let go of my wrists."
"But it's true. You have been with him after that night of your birthday party, right."
"Dannie I didn't I swear!"
"But you did," he said and threw me back on the bed.
"I mean...that's how you got pregnant right? That's how you get pregnant with Tre's baby?"
It was about 9:15 when Dylan came into my room.
"Kira," He said. "Are you awake?"
"I am now," I said. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to see if you were awake."
"Well I am. So what's up?"
"I'm worried about something."
"About what?"
"Kayla. What's going to happen to her? Do you really think you'll be able to get custody of her?"
"I think I can. I mean I don't see why they wouldn't."
"I'm just worried about her. At this point I really don't care what they do to me, but I want my sister to be okay."
"Dylan, listen to me, I promise you that I will let nothing happen to you or your sister ever again."
"Dylan!" I heard Kayla yell. "Dylan where are you?"
"I'm in here Kayla."
"Dylan I woke up and you were gone. you said you wouldn't leave. You can't leave me by myself like that. I could've choked on something!" Kayla said running into my room.
"I'm sorry Kayla," Dylan said. "I only went to see if Kira was awake."
"Oh okay. Well I guess that's okay," Kayla said.
"Look guys you go get dressed and I'll get us breakfast okay?"
"Okay Kira," Kayla and Dylan said in unison.
After Dylan and Kayla left the room I went to go take a shower, got dressed and called for some room service. When I went back into my room, I saw that Dannie was still sleeping.
"Dannie wake up sweetie," I whispered in his ear.
"Mmmmm...hey baby," Dannie whispered back. "Where are the kids?"
"They went to go get dressed."
"So...are you really serious about adopting Kayla and Dylan?"
"Of course I am," I said.
"It's just that, you know, I'm not sure if we're ready," Dannie said.
"You're not sure if we're ready? You mean, ready to be parents?"
"Well...yeah. I mean come on, look at our lifestyles. We're always on the road, or at parties. Do you seriously think that is the life fit for children? We're 22 years old. We have all the time in the world for children. I think we're both too young."
"Billie and Adie can do it. They were pretty young when they had they had Joey. And they've been married for years. So you think we're too young for kids, but we're old enough to get married?"
"Kira you're taking this the wrong way," Dannie said.
"But that's what you're saying isn't it? Or is this your way of saying I'm not responsible enough of take care of Kayla and Dylan?"
"Kira, come on let's not fight about this."
"It's true! You don't think I'm responsible do you?"
"Kira that's not what I meant."
"Yes it is! Stop lying and just say it. What do you think will possibly go wrong if I do adopt Kayla and Dylan? What, do you think I'm going to kill them?"
"Kira, you're not being fair. Look, I'm going to take a shower, and go down the hall to see Billie, maybe by then you'll calm down a little."
I hate it when we fight about stupid stuff like this. I can't believe he doesn't think I'm ready for children. But, what if he's right? What if I'm not ready for kids? I don't want to be a bad mother to Kayla, Dylan, or my own baby.
I went out to the living room and saw Dylan and Kayla eating breakfast in front of the television.
"Kira, sorry I forgot to tell you that room service came," Dylan said.
"It's okay Dylan," I said "As long as you didn't eat all the food."
"We saved you and Dannie some," Kayla said.
I grabbed my plate off the kitchen counter, and sat next to Dylan on the floor.
"Hey Kira?" Dylan said.
"Yeah Dylan?"
"I think you're going to make a great mother."
"I guess you heard that argument me and Dannie had," I said.
"Yeah. I think you're going to make an amazing mom."
"Yeah, you'll be a great mommy," Kayla said.
"Thanks guys," I said.
After we finished eating I took Dylan and Kayla's plates away. While I was washing them, I heard someone knock on the door.
"I'll get it," Dylan said.
Dylan got up off the floor and went to answer the door.
"Um...Kira...you may want to come here," Dylan said.
"What's wrong Dylan, who's at the door?"
"It's social services," Dylan said.
"Umm... ... how can I help you?" I said.
"Hi my name is Ms. McDowell, I'm with Child services. I've been told that you have Dylan and Kayla Hewitt in your custody."
"Well, yes I do."
"What exactly is your relationship with them?"
"They're my step brother and sister. And if it's okay with you, I would like to have custody of them."
"Well Ms. Belle, it's not that easy. May I come in?"
"Oh yeah sure, sorry."
She walked past me and Dylan and sat on the couch.
"So what do I have to do to get custody of Dylan and Kayla?" I said.
"Well first of all, both guardians would have to give up guardianship of the kids," Ms McDowell said.
"Well, both legal guardians are dead," I said.
"Well in that case I see no problem with you legally adopting Kayla and Dylan, except for one thing."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, your mother, Mrs. Hewitt. She also wants custody of the children."
"What!" I yelled. "You can't be serious."
"She says that they are the only part of Mr. Hewitt she has left."
"That's crazy! The only reason she wants them is so she could use them for the money and take her anger out on them."
"That may be so, but she is Mr. Hewitt's wife, and she should be the one taking care of them."
"But what if I could prove that she was unfit to take care of them?" I said.
"Well, if you could, then custody might be able to go to you."
"That's great," I said, "so I guess that's it."
"Well not exactly. I have to take the kids with me until the custody hearing. And...We have to take Dylan to juvenile court."
"What! NO!" I yelled. "Ms. McDowell you have to understand, it was a complete freak accident."
"That may be, but still you have to understand that he killed a man, his own father at that. We just can't pretend like this didn't happen."
"I know but please just, can I keep him until the trial is over? Please?"
"I'm sorry but I can't do that," she said. "Dylan and Kayla have to come with me."
"Kira," I heard Kayla say. "I don't want to go. Please, can I stay here?"
"I'm so sorry Kayla, but you have to go with Ms McDowell okay."
"No, Kira I don't want to go. Please don't make me go."
"Kayla I'm so sorry," I said trying to hold back tears. "Dylan, go get you and your sister's bags."
Dylan ran in the back while Kayla ran to me crying.
"Please Kira, don't make me go, I don't want to. I like being here with Tre and Ramona, and Billie and Adie and Mike. I like all your friends and I like being with you. Please, I won't be any trouble. Just please let me stay."
"Kayla, I want you to stay with me, but you only have to go for a little while okay. It won't be long. And when you come back, I'll take you to California with me okay? I'll take you home with me."
"You promise?" Kayla asked.
"I promise Kayla." I said.
"Umm... .. Here's your bag Kayla." Dylan said.
Kayla gave Dylan a big hug.
"Don't cry Kayla, I'll be okay I promise. You just be a good girl okay?"
"Okay Dylan."
Kayla and Dylan both came over to me and gave me a huge hug.
"I'm so sorry you guys," I said. "I'm so sorry I let this happen to you."
"It's okay, Kira. You did all you could," Dylan said.
"Well, I have to take them now Ms. Belle," Ms. McDowell said.
"Olay guys, you got to go," I said. "Make sure you take care of them."
"We will Ms. Belle," She said.
I watched as Dylan and Kayla were taken out of my hotel room and taken out of my lives. I was devastated. I could hardly breathe. I felt terrible. I ran into my room, jumped on the bed and cried my eyes out. I laid there for hours until I heard someone knock on my door. I got off the bed and opened the door.
"Hey Kira." Tre said. "I brought Ramona over so she could play with Dylan and Kayla."
"They aren't here, Tre," I said.
"Where are they, do Billie and Mike have them?"
"No, Child Services has them."
"What? What happened Kira?"
"My mom called Child Services on me and they came and took Kayla away, and Dylan has to go to juvenile court."
"Kira, I don't know what to say."
"There's nothing to say Tre," I said as I walked over to the couch and sat on it.
"Ramona you stay in here and watch TV. Me and Kira are going to go in the back and talk okay?"
"Okay dad," Ramona said.
"Come on Kira. We got to talk about this." Tre came over and took my hand and we walked into my room. I told Tre everything that happened today, and everything I was feeling.
"So Dannie really doesn't think you're ready for a baby?" Tre said.
"No, he doesn't. And now I'm starting to think that he's right."
"Kira, don't think like that, you're going to be a great mother, I can tell. I mean look at you, you're honest, you're selfless, you care so much about other people, and you put other's people's problems before your own. You're everything a mother should be. You're smart, and pretty, and amazing, and beautiful... ."
"Tre I got it," I said laughing.
"See I made you laugh," He said.
"Yeah but those last three compliments aren't useful for being a parent," I said.
"But you know it's all true," He said.
"I guess it is. I don't know," I said.
"Do you need to be alone right now?" Tre asked.
"Yeah I kind of do," I said.
"All right, I'll take Ramona and leave you alone."
Tre gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the room. After a while I went to sleep. I woke around 1 o'clock when I heard someone come into the room.
"Dannie." I said. "Dannie baby is that you?"
"Yeah it's me," He said back.
"Dannie where were you? You were gone since this morning," I asked.
"Jesus can't I just go down the hall for a minute," He said.
"Yeah you can but you can at least call Dannie. You have been doing this a lot lately. Disappearing with Billie and Mike and not coming back until late at night. What the hell do you guys do?"
"I don't ask you what you and Tre do."
"That's different Dannie; at least I tell you where I'm going. And at least I try to call you."
"Whatever Kira. Look I don't feel like arguing tonight okay. Jesus, that's all we've been doing for the past few weeks. All you want to do is take everything I say the wrong fucking way Kira."
"That's not true Dannie," I said.
"Yeah it is. Everything I do you find something that's wrong with it."
"Dannie, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You've been swaying back and forth the whole time. You can't even stand still. And you know what...you smell funny."
"What?" he said.
"You smell like...you smell like weed. Have you been smoking pot?"
"Okay so maybe I have. You're not the only who's allowed to have all the fun."
"So that's where you've been going. You've been going out getting high. You're always yelling at me about drinking, but you're out getting high with Billie and Mike."
"I'm not the one with the drinking problem," Dannie said.
"I don't have a drinking problem!"
"Yes you do. You want to know what the problem is? Every time you drink, you can't seem to keep your pants on!"
"That's not fair Dannie!" I yelled.
"Don't try to tell me what's fair and not fair bitch!"
"You didn't have to call me a fucking bitch you pothead!" I yelled.
"But isn't it true? Every time you get drunk you fuck Tre right? How many other times did you fuck him, huh Kira?"
Dannie came towards me and grabbed my wrists.
"Dannie let me go," I yelled.
"But it's true right? You've been with him before right?"
"Dannie let go of my wrists."
"But it's true. You have been with him after that night of your birthday party, right."
"Dannie I didn't I swear!"
"But you did," he said and threw me back on the bed.
"I mean...that's how you got pregnant right? That's how you get pregnant with Tre's baby?"
