Leaving You Was Never Easy, chapter 5
No Signs of Hope
My eyes were flickering behind my closed eyelids. This overwhelming pain was killing me! I couldn't really remember what happened. A burglery and a knife but the rest is a blur. 'Am I supposed to wake up now?, I thoughy, I can hear voices around me, I guess that's my queue...but hang on, this could be good! Heh, I can now go into full spying mode, while pretending to be unconcious...WOA SHIT! I was unconcious! I take it I'm in hospital then? I'll find out after my eavesdropping session!
Now who's voice is that?'
"I'm so scared, we could lose her, Mike," the voice said with an element of sadness. Ah yes, Tre, not his usual voice though, I guess this is him un-hyper or something.
"Don't worry 'bout it, she'll get through this, we'll get through this."
"I just love her so much, I don't want to lose her."
"You won't, you heard what the nurse said," said Mike in his ever-calm tone.
"Why isn't she waking up then? That's been 32 hours!" Tre replied, sounding like he was starting to cry. Ok, this is mean, I need to open my eyes...
"MIKE, MIKE GET BILLIE!"
"What? What is it?"
"She's awake, Mike, she's awake!" I heard the door close as Mike went in search of Billie Joe.
"Frankie, can you hear me?"
"Tre," I whispered, my voice like a rusty cog in an unused machine.
"Oh my gosh, thank god you're ok," he said sweeping my messy hair back from my face.
"I'm so glad you're here," I said smiling.
"Please don't leave me, please."
"Don't worry, I won't, I'll stay, I promise," I missed Tre, even not seeing him for that 30-something hours felt like a lifetime, I really loved him, more than anything. Then I remembered, my brother!
"Tre," I said breaking the awkward yet peacefull silence, "where's my brother?"
"He's in the intensive care unit, he's doing ok, don't worry."
"When can I leave?"
"They said it all depepnds on when you wake up, so I'm guessing that we could leave later today or tomorrow."
"Tre?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks" I said and took his hand, holding it tightly. He smiled and looked at my dark eyes. There was an awkwardly long silence, I guess this was a good time to tell him...
"Hey, Tre," I said looking up at his bright blue eyes and spiked up green hair.
Then the nurse walked in...CRAP! Why does that always happen?!
"Hello Julia, how are you feeling?"
"I'ts Frankie by the way, and, yea, I'm fine, when can I leave?"
"Anytime today, you just need to sign some forms" she said handing me a few sheets of paper.
"Sure," I said singing my name along all the crosses.
I handed her back the forms and she smiled as she left the room.
I looked out of the large window that was mostly covered by light blue curtains hanging over the edges. The hospital looked quiet but the odd family walked by, either looking relieved or god damn depressed.
"So, what were you going to say?"
"Oh, well, this is weird, but, I feel diferent around you recently, I guess, well, I love you," I felt relieved that I had told him, I couldn't have kept it in for much longer. There was a long silence, I looked up at him.
"I love you too," he replied and hugged my weak body. It was different this time, I wanted to stay with Tre and never leave, I loved him too much.
"I'll go and get changed then, and then we can go." I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. There was a bag with some of my clothes in it sitting on a drawer. I found some black jeans and a green shirt. I brushed my teeth and hair and, of course, put my eyeliner on. I thought about my brother, if he was in a bad state then I'd have to stay in Trenton for a while, just to look after him. It would be hard to leave the guys but I'd have to do it.
I walked out of the cold room and saw Tre sitting at the window looking onto the parking lot.
"So, we should wait for Mike to come and then we can go. Ok?" I said to him whilst holding my slightly painfull side. He didn't answer.
"Tre, you ok?" I said moving closer to him. I put my hand on his shoulder and looked at his face. He turned to face me and I looked into his eyes.
Is this right? We're friends, this shouldn't be happening, but I love him so much. I pulled away as the door opened and Billie and Mike walked in.
"Oops, sorry, we'll go," Billie said smirking.
"No, it's ok, we're leaving now anyway, let's go" I checked out of the hospital and we got a cab back to our hotel. I decided that I'd go and see my brother later, the bitch of a nurse wouldn't let me go in before visiting time.
Back at the hotel, the guys were packing for their next concert, I was going to have to leave Tre. I knocked on the door of his room and he answered it and let me in.
"Hey, listen, about earlier, I just want to say, I meant it, I did," I said to him while looking at my shoes nervously.
"So did I," he said and leaned in to kiss.
"Tre, I'm sorry, I don't want to start any relationship now that I'm going to be staying here for a while, it would be too awkward" I wanted to cry and run away from all this, but I had ran away from everything and I couldn't let this happen, not now.
"Well, you need to get back on the road soon so you better get packing" I said trying to break the silence.
"Why can't we just be together? I know it's awkward and everything but I love you"
"I love you too, if I could be with you then I'd stay forever and never leave, but I have to look after my brother and you need to finish the touring," I started choking up, "I love you Tre, never forget that, I love you and I always will" I hugged him tightly, I wished that I didn't need to let go, I wished that I could stay with Tre. I let go and left him to pack.
***
"Remember to call us when we're back," Billie said hugging me.
"I will, don't worry 'bout it."
"And send your brother our best wishes," Mike said
"Will do, see you."
"Bye," The two said in unison. Tre walked over.
"I'll call you, and if I can't see you again - god forbid - I'll always be there, don't forget that."
"I love you so much Tre," I said kissing him.
"I'll see you, I'm sorry about all this, I hope your brother gets better."
" 'Kay, bye" I said as he walked onto the tour bus and waved goodbye.
The bus drove off and I was left alone. I had left everything, I had lost everything. My whole life, gone, just like that. I hoped to god that I would never lose them for good. Deep down inside, I knew that I wouldn't, I'd meet them again some day, one way or another.
***Two months later***
My brother was doing really well, he was ready to go back to work. I had got a job at a shopping mall. Green Day were HUGE...pictures of them everywhere. The new album selling over 8 million copies. I missed them so much, I called a few times but they were always away recording or touring. I wished that I could talk to them, see them again. 'Maybe one day' I always thought to myself. I sometimes wished that I could just go back to Oakland and live like I used to, but times change, people change. I listened to Green Day a lot still, but sometimes Billie's voice would make me miss them even more. It was hard, but I had to get used to it.
***Tre's P.O.V***
I miss her so much. Why can't I just call her? I'm too scared, she could be living half way across the world for all I know. But I will never forget. Billie and Mike tell me to try and move on. MOVE ON?! How can I move on? I'll see her one day. I know I will.
My eyes were flickering behind my closed eyelids. This overwhelming pain was killing me! I couldn't really remember what happened. A burglery and a knife but the rest is a blur. 'Am I supposed to wake up now?, I thoughy, I can hear voices around me, I guess that's my queue...but hang on, this could be good! Heh, I can now go into full spying mode, while pretending to be unconcious...WOA SHIT! I was unconcious! I take it I'm in hospital then? I'll find out after my eavesdropping session!
Now who's voice is that?'
"I'm so scared, we could lose her, Mike," the voice said with an element of sadness. Ah yes, Tre, not his usual voice though, I guess this is him un-hyper or something.
"Don't worry 'bout it, she'll get through this, we'll get through this."
"I just love her so much, I don't want to lose her."
"You won't, you heard what the nurse said," said Mike in his ever-calm tone.
"Why isn't she waking up then? That's been 32 hours!" Tre replied, sounding like he was starting to cry. Ok, this is mean, I need to open my eyes...
"MIKE, MIKE GET BILLIE!"
"What? What is it?"
"She's awake, Mike, she's awake!" I heard the door close as Mike went in search of Billie Joe.
"Frankie, can you hear me?"
"Tre," I whispered, my voice like a rusty cog in an unused machine.
"Oh my gosh, thank god you're ok," he said sweeping my messy hair back from my face.
"I'm so glad you're here," I said smiling.
"Please don't leave me, please."
"Don't worry, I won't, I'll stay, I promise," I missed Tre, even not seeing him for that 30-something hours felt like a lifetime, I really loved him, more than anything. Then I remembered, my brother!
"Tre," I said breaking the awkward yet peacefull silence, "where's my brother?"
"He's in the intensive care unit, he's doing ok, don't worry."
"When can I leave?"
"They said it all depepnds on when you wake up, so I'm guessing that we could leave later today or tomorrow."
"Tre?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks" I said and took his hand, holding it tightly. He smiled and looked at my dark eyes. There was an awkwardly long silence, I guess this was a good time to tell him...
"Hey, Tre," I said looking up at his bright blue eyes and spiked up green hair.
Then the nurse walked in...CRAP! Why does that always happen?!
"Hello Julia, how are you feeling?"
"I'ts Frankie by the way, and, yea, I'm fine, when can I leave?"
"Anytime today, you just need to sign some forms" she said handing me a few sheets of paper.
"Sure," I said singing my name along all the crosses.
I handed her back the forms and she smiled as she left the room.
I looked out of the large window that was mostly covered by light blue curtains hanging over the edges. The hospital looked quiet but the odd family walked by, either looking relieved or god damn depressed.
"So, what were you going to say?"
"Oh, well, this is weird, but, I feel diferent around you recently, I guess, well, I love you," I felt relieved that I had told him, I couldn't have kept it in for much longer. There was a long silence, I looked up at him.
"I love you too," he replied and hugged my weak body. It was different this time, I wanted to stay with Tre and never leave, I loved him too much.
"I'll go and get changed then, and then we can go." I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. There was a bag with some of my clothes in it sitting on a drawer. I found some black jeans and a green shirt. I brushed my teeth and hair and, of course, put my eyeliner on. I thought about my brother, if he was in a bad state then I'd have to stay in Trenton for a while, just to look after him. It would be hard to leave the guys but I'd have to do it.
I walked out of the cold room and saw Tre sitting at the window looking onto the parking lot.
"So, we should wait for Mike to come and then we can go. Ok?" I said to him whilst holding my slightly painfull side. He didn't answer.
"Tre, you ok?" I said moving closer to him. I put my hand on his shoulder and looked at his face. He turned to face me and I looked into his eyes.
Is this right? We're friends, this shouldn't be happening, but I love him so much. I pulled away as the door opened and Billie and Mike walked in.
"Oops, sorry, we'll go," Billie said smirking.
"No, it's ok, we're leaving now anyway, let's go" I checked out of the hospital and we got a cab back to our hotel. I decided that I'd go and see my brother later, the bitch of a nurse wouldn't let me go in before visiting time.
Back at the hotel, the guys were packing for their next concert, I was going to have to leave Tre. I knocked on the door of his room and he answered it and let me in.
"Hey, listen, about earlier, I just want to say, I meant it, I did," I said to him while looking at my shoes nervously.
"So did I," he said and leaned in to kiss.
"Tre, I'm sorry, I don't want to start any relationship now that I'm going to be staying here for a while, it would be too awkward" I wanted to cry and run away from all this, but I had ran away from everything and I couldn't let this happen, not now.
"Well, you need to get back on the road soon so you better get packing" I said trying to break the silence.
"Why can't we just be together? I know it's awkward and everything but I love you"
"I love you too, if I could be with you then I'd stay forever and never leave, but I have to look after my brother and you need to finish the touring," I started choking up, "I love you Tre, never forget that, I love you and I always will" I hugged him tightly, I wished that I didn't need to let go, I wished that I could stay with Tre. I let go and left him to pack.
***
"Remember to call us when we're back," Billie said hugging me.
"I will, don't worry 'bout it."
"And send your brother our best wishes," Mike said
"Will do, see you."
"Bye," The two said in unison. Tre walked over.
"I'll call you, and if I can't see you again - god forbid - I'll always be there, don't forget that."
"I love you so much Tre," I said kissing him.
"I'll see you, I'm sorry about all this, I hope your brother gets better."
" 'Kay, bye" I said as he walked onto the tour bus and waved goodbye.
The bus drove off and I was left alone. I had left everything, I had lost everything. My whole life, gone, just like that. I hoped to god that I would never lose them for good. Deep down inside, I knew that I wouldn't, I'd meet them again some day, one way or another.
***Two months later***
My brother was doing really well, he was ready to go back to work. I had got a job at a shopping mall. Green Day were HUGE...pictures of them everywhere. The new album selling over 8 million copies. I missed them so much, I called a few times but they were always away recording or touring. I wished that I could talk to them, see them again. 'Maybe one day' I always thought to myself. I sometimes wished that I could just go back to Oakland and live like I used to, but times change, people change. I listened to Green Day a lot still, but sometimes Billie's voice would make me miss them even more. It was hard, but I had to get used to it.
***Tre's P.O.V***
I miss her so much. Why can't I just call her? I'm too scared, she could be living half way across the world for all I know. But I will never forget. Billie and Mike tell me to try and move on. MOVE ON?! How can I move on? I'll see her one day. I know I will.
