I've Been Living A Lie, chapter 10
That evening when everyone was in bed I snuck out from the spare room I'd temporarily named my own and went to down the stairs into the huge foyer. I went through to the kitchen and over to the sliding doors that led to the back yard. Sliding them open I stepped out into the cool night air. I walked to the pool and sat down dangling my legs in the warm water. I lay back and looked up at the stars thinking over the messed up situation I was stuck in. Back home I'd always go outside at night just to look at the stars, usually when I was nervous or worried about something. It calmed me down and helped me solve whatever was on my mind. I closed my eyes and then suddenly I sensed someone watching me. My eyes snapped open and I saw a pair of blue eyes watching me. I jumped in shock.
"Sorry it's only me, what are you doing out here?" Mark asked softly sitting next to me putting his feet in the water.
"I... I guess I just wanted to think." I answered shrugging. He put his arm around me.
"Are you okay?" I nodded putting my head on his shoulder deep in thought.
"It's gonna be okay you know... I know it doesn't seem like it yet but it will." He whispered kissing me gently on the head sending shivers down my spine. Wait! My best friend wasn't supposed to make me feel like this... So why was he? I suddenly felt aware of how close we actually were sitting and I sat up, moving away from him. He looked at me confused.
"What's up?" I just shook my head slowly and stood up ready to go back in but he also stood up blocking my path.
"Charlotte, what's wrong?" He asked in a concerned tone.
"Nothing I'm fine." I replied.
"Doesn't seem like it."
"I'm fine." I insisted.
"Charlotte.. I know when your lying and your lying now so tell me what's wrong." He said sternly.
"I... It's just.. I guess I felt something I shouldn't have." I stuttered. He looked at me totally confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Just then when you kissed me on the head... I felt feelings for you that I shouldn't have 'cause you're my best friend." I replied. He just stood there looking at me almost in disbelief for what felt like hours. Then he stepped forward placing his hands on my arms and looking into my eyes. I went to ask him what he was doing but then I was answered by him pressing his lips against mine softly. At first I returned the kiss but then I realized who I was kissing and pulled away. He just looked at me as I shook my head in shock at what had just happened.
"We shouldn't do that.. It's not right... I mean.. It felt right but it isn't... Not really." I stuttered and stepped away from him.
"But if it felt right isn't that all that matters?" He whispered also sounding quite shocked by what happened.
"No you're my best friend... I'm not supposed to kiss my best friend no matter how right it felt." I said this time stepping round him and running over to the house.
Running away.
I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
I ran up the stairs and into my room. Closing the door I edged over to my window and looked down over the garden to see him sitting by the pool again with his head in his hands. I couldn't believe what had just happened. How am I ever going to be able to look him in the eye again? I went over to my bed and lay down staring at the ceiling. I got pretty lost in thought and around an hour later there was a small knock on my door. I pretended to be asleep figuring that it was Mark. The person opened the door and I looked over through the slits of my eyes to see Jakob. I sat up.
"Jakob? What's wrong?" He closed the door and sniffed.
"I had a bad dream." He whispered clutching a small teddy. He sat on the bed and sniffed again. I switched on my bedside lamp and looked over at him he had tears streaming down his face. I moved closer to him and hugged him.
"Hey don't cry it's only a nightmare it's not real." I whispered reassuringly. "What happened in it?"
"Me, mom and dad went to get pizza and when we came back you Mark, Katie and Joey were all in the living room and there was blood everywhere and Mom was screaming and I heard dad say you were all dead and... And it was horrible and scary." He said starting to cry again.
"Shh, It's ok. I'm still alive and the others are to. Look." I said picking him up and walking out the room and first over to Joeys room opening his door. He was asleep in his bed.
"See." I whispered. "He's fine." Then I went over to Katie's room and opened the door to find her asleep all tangled up in the blankets.
"See she's fine too." I whispered again. Then I walked over to Marks room and prayed like mad that he was asleep.
Of course he wasn't.
He was sitting up staring straight ahead and when I opened the door he looked confused as to why me and Jakob were there. He got up and walked over to us.
"What's up?" He whispered.
"Jakob had a bad dream... We were killed.. So I'm just showing him were still alive." I replied not looking at him. Mark took Jakob from my arms.
"Hey man, nightmares aren't true. Were still alive." He said. Jakob nodded.
"Yeah I know it just felt so real." He replied. Mark nodded.
"Yeah.. It's understandable." Then he looked over at me before back at Jakob.
"C'mon we'll put you back to bed." He said. Walking over to Jakobs room he grabbed hold of my hand so I had to follow. He opened the door and walked in putting Jakob down on the bed.
"If you have any more nightmares just come to one of us. Okay?" Jake nodded. Mark walked back over to where I was leaning on the doorframe. Once again taking my hand but this time dragging me into his room. He shut the door behind us and turned to me.
"We need to talk." He said seriously.
"There's nothing to talk about." I replied.
"Course there is.. How about the fact that we kissed outside." He said sarcastically.
"No you kissed me." I answered.
"You kissed back which means technically we kissed." He said. I sighed... He had a point.
"What are we supposed to talk about. I think we both have established that we kissed. What more needs to be said?" I asked.
"You said it felt right... And it felt right for me to." He whispered.
"Just because it felt right doesn't mean I felt anything for you." I lied. Then suddenly he leant forward and pressed his lips against mine for the second time tonight only digging us a deeper hole. When he pulled away he placed his left hand on my face and looked me in the eye.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't feel anything for me." He said. I looked into his eyes but couldn't seem to say it.
"I... I can't." I stuttered looking down.
"Exactly, You felt something for me and I know I felt something for you... And I know were best friends.. But this can't be ignored." He rambled. I looked into his anxious almost desperate eyes but couldn't bring myself to say the words he wanted me to say. Instead I simply replied.
"Can't it." Then I got up and left him sitting on his bed and walked over to my room. Once in there I closed my door and slid down it silent tears slipping down my face. This wasn't supposed to happen. As if I didn't have enough problems.
I have to add another one to my list...
*Next morning*
*Bang*
"Wake up! Wake up." I heard Joeys excited rambles. I groaned and slammed the pillow over my head. After a sleepless night I wasn't exactly up for an early wake up call.
"Come on wake up.." I heard Billie whine. I rolled my eyes under the safety of my pillow. Then suddenly the covers were ripped from me and I was forced to retreat from under my pillow to look at the to smiling faces now jumping on my bed.
"Daddy she's awake she's awake." Joey said making me laugh despite how crap I was feeling. I looked at Billie who was bouncing dangerously close to the ceiling. And my warnings of, "Watch out" Were used in vain when the loud smack was heard.
"OW fu... Sugar." He quickly corrected remembering Joey was still in the room. I smirked.
"I warned you." I said. He pouted and stuck out his tongue making me and Joey laugh. He pretended to cry and ran out the room, me and Joey still laughing. When we stopped we sat silence for a while.
"Are you my sister?" My head snapped up to look at the young boy.
"Erm... I... What?" I stuttered nervously.
"I heard mom and dad talking last night. Mommy said it felt strange knowing there daughter was in the house. And dad said at least me and Jake finally get to meet our sister." He answered obviously confused but curious by what he heard. I put my head in my hands and sighed.
"You weren't supposed to know." I murmured.
"So it's true.. You are our sister!" He said his eyes glinting slightly with excitement.
"Erm.. Yeah." I finally replied. He smiled and ran out the room. I quickly followed when I realized what was about to happen. He ran into the kitchen where everyone else was.
"Guess what I-" He was cut off by me putting my hand over his mouth, smiling innocently at everyone at the room forgetting about the thing with Mark. I slowly backed out the room my hand still covering Joeys mouth pulling him with me.
"We'll... Be going now." Then I picked up Joey and walked out the room. I went back up to my bedroom and put Joey down on the bed.
"What was that for." He pouted. I sighed and sat next to him.
"You're not supposed to know about me being your sister... And I'm not sure if your mom and dad want you to now so you've gotta pretend you don't know. Okay?" I pleaded. He thought for a while then nodded.
"Okay promise I won't tell." He said. I smiled and hugged him.
"Can we go back downstairs now?" He asked. I nodded.
" Yeah sure one sec." I grabbed a jacket and pulled it over my pyjamas before walking downstairs with Joey. We walked in the kitchen and everyone looked up as if expecting another show. Adie raised an eyebrow.
"Have you two calmed down now." I smiled and Joey giggled. I felt someone tug at my sleeve I looked down to see Jakob smiling at me.
"Hi." He said. I smiled and picked him up.
"Hey are you ok now?" I said referring to the nightmare. He nodded.
"Yeah I'm fine now. Thank you for helping."
"No problem." I replied. He hugged me then I put him down and he ran back to his chair. I followed and sat down at the table briefly catching Marks eye before looking away.
"So... What are we up to today?" I asked taking a waffle from a plate in the middle of the table.
"Well we need to go get you some clothes." Adie said.
"But we don't have any money with us." Katie replied. Billie Joe snorted making us look at him funny and him roll his eyes.
"We'll pay, your staying with us so therefore you are our responsibility." He said and waved his hand as if to close the matter. I shrugged.
"When are we going then?" Mark asked.
"Now." Billie said.
"Oh yeah cause I'd love to go in my pyjamas and all but I don't think anyone else would appreciate that." I rolled my eyes and got up to go get changed.
"Well you kids get changed and I'm going to ring Mike and Tre, They'd probably love to see you three again." He said motioning for the five of us to get changed. We went to the stairs me keeping a safe distance away from Mark to get ready. I noticed Jakob was still half asleep and I picked him up to stop him falling.
*Billie's pov*
I sat back in my chair watching the five of them trudge up the stairs and smiled when I saw Charlotte pick up Jakob. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder I looked up and smiled at Adie who was also watching them she smiled to and sat next to me.
"Jakob and Joey seem to bonded with her." She said smiling thoughtfully. I nodded.
"Yeah, Jake told me he had a nightmare last night and Charlotte helped him. Are we gonna tell them about... You know the whole sister thing." I asked. Adie nodded slightly.
"Yeah... Eventually, but not yet I don't think they'd understand. You know?" She answered.
"Yeah that's probably best." I agreed. We heard voices that got increasingly louder.
"Sounds fun Jakey, but I really don't think it's possible." Charlotte said walking through the door Jakob by her side obviously discussing something but I had no idea what.
"Yuh huh it would be easy." Jakob replied.
"I really don't think it would." She answered ruffling his brown hair. They walked towards the table and sat down to wait for the others.
"Yeah it would." Jakob insisted. Charlotte then turned to me.
"Tell Jake it's impossible to go right over the bar of a swing." She said. I laughed.
"Yeah Jakob that would probably be impossible... Without ending up in hospital that is." I replied. He went to say something but Adie spoke first.
"Jake is your shirt on backwards?" He looked down then back up.
"Oops." He said. Adie sighed and picked him up muttering about how you'd think he'd be able to dress himself, she took him back upstairs to get changed probably. There was a comfortable silence between me and Charlotte before her cell phone ring tone filled the air. I noticed her look at who was calling he eyes widening. She noticed me watching and answered the call putting it on loud speaker.
"Hello?" Charlotte asked. There was a crackle down the line before a loud voice cut through the silence.
"Charlotte! Where the hell are you! You were supposed to be back yesterday. We thought you stayed at Katie's or something but her parents said something about staying in California for a couple more weeks." Charlotte closed her eyes and sighed.
"Yeah we decided to stay. Don't worry though we're fine... Mom." I couldn't help but feel upset and slightly hurt that she had to say that in front of me.
"I know you know Charlotte." Mary said making me look back up. I forgot that I told her.
"Erm... What how?" Charlotte asked.
"Billie told me, I guess your staying with him." She said. Charlotte looked at me then nodded slightly.
"Oh... Yeah we are."
"Well at least I know your safe." Mary said.
"Okay then bye. I guess I'll see you in a couple weeks." I was trying not to think about when she left. I knew I was going to grow attached and then she'd have to leave.
"Bye." Charlotte hung up and turned to me.
"So... Are Mike and Tre coming?" I jumped up.
"Shit I forgot to call them." I said and picked up the phone from the counter. I dialed Mike's number as Katie and Mark came down and sat at the table. I couldn't help notice the strange look Charlotte and Mark exchanged.
"Hello?" Mike's voice broke through my thoughts.
"Oh hey Mike, You wanna come shopping with us today?"
"Sure... Who's us?"
"Me, Adie, Joey, Jakob, Charlotte, Katie and Mark... And Tre if he can come."
"Wait... Didn't they leave?" Mike asked confused.
"No they decided to stay for a couple of weeks." I said smiling.
"Oh.. That's great Bill, You and Adie get to spend some time with Charlotte."
"Yeah.. I know" I said softly
"Well I'll come to your's now."
"Ok great bye Mike."
Then I phoned Tre and the phone call consisted of pretty much the same questions the one with Mike did. I put the phone back down and went over to the table where everyone was finally dressed and ready.
"They're on their way." I said going to sit down but the sounds of the doorbell filled the house before I had the chance to get comfortable. I sighed and went to get up but a hand on my head pushed me back down.
"I'll get it." Charlotte said and walked out the room. I shrugged and sat down.
*Charlotte's POV*
I answered the door and smiled at Mike he smiled back.
"Hey." He said.
"Hi" I answered.
"You look different from the concert... Your smiling." I laughed.
"Yeah well I feel better... I was just being a moody bitch at the concert." I replied shutting the door. Only to have the doorbell ring again. Mike laughed and made his was to the kitchen as I rolled my eyes and turned back to the door. I opened it only to be toppled over by the one and only Tre cool. We fell over both in hysterics.
"Hi Tre." I said once I'd calmed down.
"Hi." He replied. I saw in the corner of my eye Mike and Billie go into the living room. I stood up and helped Tre up. I motioned for him to be quiet and to follow me. I walked over to the living room door which they had closed and pressed my ear against it, Tre did to and we both listened in on Mike and Billie's conversation.
"Is she living here now?"
"No, her and her friends are staying for a couple weeks then there going back home."
"Isn't that going to be kind of hard for you and Adie... I mean you had to let her go once and that was hard enough for you. I still remember the way you both were. You barely spoke to me and Tre for weeks and you've never been the same since"-
I felt my breath catch, looks like they never did forget about me.
-" And when you had Joey, I know it was a happy time but it was obvious all you and Adie were thinking about was Charlotte. I know you've regretted ever letting her go so how are you going to be able to let her go back home now... Especially since you'll have spent time with her. You and Adie are going to be a mess when she goes and you know it."
"Course I know it." I heard Billie answer softly. "But isn't it better to have spent some time with her than none at all."
"I guess man, but it's going to be hard for you." I closed my eyes and bit my lip... It's going to be hard for me to. I felt a hand on my shoulder and opened my eyes to look at the concerned blue ones. I smiled slightly to show I was okay. We went to get up but suddenly the door that we were leaning on opened and we fell into the room.
"Shit." I said as I jumped up and ran to the kitchen Tre following. When we got there we tried to act natural as if we hadn't been eavesdropping at all even though we had so clearly been. Mike and Billie walked in with there arms crossed looking at me and Tre. We smiled innocently and Tre waved stupidly.
"Hi." He said and I couldn't help but laugh slightly as Billie smirked sarcastically and mimicked Tre.
"What's going on?" Katie asked answering for all the confused people seated at the table.
"These two." Billie said pointing at me and Tre. "Have been eavesdropping." Once again me and Tre smiled innocently making everyone laugh.
"Anyway.." I said changing the subject. "Shouldn't we be going?" Billie and Mike tutted and shook there heads, I rolled my eyes at them.
"Yeah.. Let's go." Shouted Jakob. We left the house and piled into two cars. Billie, Adie, Joey and Jakob in one. And Me, Mike Tre, Mark and Katie in the other. Tre called shotgun and Mike was driving so me, Katie and Mark got in the back. Unfortunately for me Mark was in the middle so I had to sit next to him. I looked out the window but I could still sense him watching me. And when we finally got to the shopping center and as I was getting out of the car he leant over and whispered in my ear.
"I need to talk to you." Then he kissed my cheek quickly sending more chills down my spine. I pushed the thoughts away and just looked at him before nodding and getting out the car. We walked over to where Billie parked his car and waited for them to get out. Then Billie came over to where me, Mark and Katie were and handed me some money. When I looked at it my mouth dropped open.
"There's gotta be like 2000 bucks here!" I exclaimed. He just looked at me.
"Yeah... Is that enough." He asked. We just gawped at him.
"That means we get like 650 bucks each! I've never seen so much money in my life." I said. He just laughed at us.
"Make sure you buy enough clothes. If you need more money just ring me or something we'll leave you three to shop on you own but meet us in starbucks at 1 and we'll go eat. Okay?" We all nodded.
"Okay bye." He said and they all walked away and left us alone. I sighed.
"Well let's go shopping"..
At around 12:15 we were done shopping. We'd bought loads of band t-shirts and jeans and other clothes. We decided to go to starbucks anyway and wait for 1 to come by. At 12:30 we were sitting down armed with coffee and muffins. Suddenly Mark stood up,
"I'll be right back." Then he left the café. Katie looked over at me.
"Spill." She said. I decided to act dumb.
"Huh?"
"What's going on with you and Mark?" I sighed and looked at my best friend of 6 years. Then I told her what happened last night and in the car. She looked at me wide eyed.
"Wow... I never thought he'd have the nerve to tell you." I looked at her confused.
"What?" I finally asked.
"He's had a crush on since the day we met him. I remember him telling me and he still really likes you."
"But that was three years ago!" I exclaimed. She nodded.
"Yeah I know, so what you gonna do. Do you like him?"
"I don't know... I know I felt something last night but that was the first time I've ever thought of him in a different way." I said. She once again nodded.
"Well now you know how he feels.. I guess it's up to you to make up your mind." She said.
"Easier said than done." I murmured as Mark walked back into the café holding a small bag. He sat down an started to drink his coffee again.
"Where did you go?" Katie asked. He shook his head.
"I... I just had to go get something." He said and I was positive he looked at me when he said that. Suddenly the lyrics to Ghost of you filled the air. Katie stood up fumbling in her pockets and pulling out her phone.
"Mom." She mumbled, "I gotta go take this." She got up and walked out the café to answer her call. Mark looked over at me.
"I got you something." He said quietly putting the bag I seen him carrying on the table. He pulled out a small box and handed it to me. I just looked at him then at the box. I picked it up and opened it. There lay a thin silver chain with a black guitar pick. I just gawped at it before looking back at Mark.
"I... Can't... I don't... I mean." I stuttered trying to find the words. He interrupted though.
"Look... I know you don't feel the same way about me as I feel for you.. So this is just a friendship gift. You know like a peace offering. If you don't want to be with me then I guess I'll have to deal with that... Just remember that I have loved you ever since I met you and I don't know how long it'll take to get over you, but your also my best friend and I don't want to ruin that so.. Yeah." He said looking me in the eyes. I looked back at the necklace.
"Thanks... It's really nice." I said. He took it out the box and put it on for me. I smiled at him and he smiled back and held out his hand,
"Friends?" He asked.
"Friends." I laughed and shook his hand. Then Katie walked back in.
"My mom's so over protective." She fumed. We laughed at her and she pouted. I looked at my watch 12:59. They'd be here soon. Then the door opened and they stepped in wearing hats and glasses as a disguise. They spotted us and came over and sat down on the chairs apart from Jakob and Joey. Jakob sat on Katie's knee and Joey on mine.
"Hi." I said to them all. They all greeted us back.
"Did you get all your stuff?" Tre asked as a waitress came over with the drinks Mike ordered for them.
"Yup." We answered showing them our bags.
"Did you have enough money?" Billie Joe asked.
"Yeah more than enough." I said pulling out around half of the money and handing it over to him but he pushed it away.
"Keep it you'll probably need it some time." I shrugged.
"Erm... Okay, thanks."
"How long have been here." Mike asked looking at the many empty cups at our table.
"Bout and hour." Mark shrugged.
"But we said to meet us at one." Adie said. We nodded.
"Yeah we know, We finished shopping and we were bored so we came here." I replied. We finished our drinks and headed back to the house for lunch. We arrived 'home' and I went straight to my room asking Adie to call me when lunch was ready. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes subconsciously feeling for my necklace and locket but all I felt was my necklace. I shot up in a panic searching everywhere in my room. I ran downstairs tears now falling from eyes at the thought of losing the one thing apart from my Bass that meant so much to me. I ran into the kitchen. Everyone looked up and immediately asked what was wrong when they saw I was crying. Billie came and put his arm round me.
"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.
"I lost it... I lost my locket." I cried. Billie released me from the hug.
"No you haven't." I looked at him confused.
"Huh?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out my locket.
"Why did you have it?" I asked.
"Open it." He replied. I did as I was told and my breath caught. Instead of the baby picture of me there was a picture of Adie, Billie and Joey and Jakob. And the poem had changed.
We wouldn't forget you that promise was true,
And you finally know how much we love you,
And one day you'll leave and we'll say goodbye,
Our hearts may break but we'll try not to cry,
We know you'll come back but we don't know when,
We'll have to work through it 'till we meet again,
"Sorry it's only me, what are you doing out here?" Mark asked softly sitting next to me putting his feet in the water.
"I... I guess I just wanted to think." I answered shrugging. He put his arm around me.
"Are you okay?" I nodded putting my head on his shoulder deep in thought.
"It's gonna be okay you know... I know it doesn't seem like it yet but it will." He whispered kissing me gently on the head sending shivers down my spine. Wait! My best friend wasn't supposed to make me feel like this... So why was he? I suddenly felt aware of how close we actually were sitting and I sat up, moving away from him. He looked at me confused.
"What's up?" I just shook my head slowly and stood up ready to go back in but he also stood up blocking my path.
"Charlotte, what's wrong?" He asked in a concerned tone.
"Nothing I'm fine." I replied.
"Doesn't seem like it."
"I'm fine." I insisted.
"Charlotte.. I know when your lying and your lying now so tell me what's wrong." He said sternly.
"I... It's just.. I guess I felt something I shouldn't have." I stuttered. He looked at me totally confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Just then when you kissed me on the head... I felt feelings for you that I shouldn't have 'cause you're my best friend." I replied. He just stood there looking at me almost in disbelief for what felt like hours. Then he stepped forward placing his hands on my arms and looking into my eyes. I went to ask him what he was doing but then I was answered by him pressing his lips against mine softly. At first I returned the kiss but then I realized who I was kissing and pulled away. He just looked at me as I shook my head in shock at what had just happened.
"We shouldn't do that.. It's not right... I mean.. It felt right but it isn't... Not really." I stuttered and stepped away from him.
"But if it felt right isn't that all that matters?" He whispered also sounding quite shocked by what happened.
"No you're my best friend... I'm not supposed to kiss my best friend no matter how right it felt." I said this time stepping round him and running over to the house.
Running away.
I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
I ran up the stairs and into my room. Closing the door I edged over to my window and looked down over the garden to see him sitting by the pool again with his head in his hands. I couldn't believe what had just happened. How am I ever going to be able to look him in the eye again? I went over to my bed and lay down staring at the ceiling. I got pretty lost in thought and around an hour later there was a small knock on my door. I pretended to be asleep figuring that it was Mark. The person opened the door and I looked over through the slits of my eyes to see Jakob. I sat up.
"Jakob? What's wrong?" He closed the door and sniffed.
"I had a bad dream." He whispered clutching a small teddy. He sat on the bed and sniffed again. I switched on my bedside lamp and looked over at him he had tears streaming down his face. I moved closer to him and hugged him.
"Hey don't cry it's only a nightmare it's not real." I whispered reassuringly. "What happened in it?"
"Me, mom and dad went to get pizza and when we came back you Mark, Katie and Joey were all in the living room and there was blood everywhere and Mom was screaming and I heard dad say you were all dead and... And it was horrible and scary." He said starting to cry again.
"Shh, It's ok. I'm still alive and the others are to. Look." I said picking him up and walking out the room and first over to Joeys room opening his door. He was asleep in his bed.
"See." I whispered. "He's fine." Then I went over to Katie's room and opened the door to find her asleep all tangled up in the blankets.
"See she's fine too." I whispered again. Then I walked over to Marks room and prayed like mad that he was asleep.
Of course he wasn't.
He was sitting up staring straight ahead and when I opened the door he looked confused as to why me and Jakob were there. He got up and walked over to us.
"What's up?" He whispered.
"Jakob had a bad dream... We were killed.. So I'm just showing him were still alive." I replied not looking at him. Mark took Jakob from my arms.
"Hey man, nightmares aren't true. Were still alive." He said. Jakob nodded.
"Yeah I know it just felt so real." He replied. Mark nodded.
"Yeah.. It's understandable." Then he looked over at me before back at Jakob.
"C'mon we'll put you back to bed." He said. Walking over to Jakobs room he grabbed hold of my hand so I had to follow. He opened the door and walked in putting Jakob down on the bed.
"If you have any more nightmares just come to one of us. Okay?" Jake nodded. Mark walked back over to where I was leaning on the doorframe. Once again taking my hand but this time dragging me into his room. He shut the door behind us and turned to me.
"We need to talk." He said seriously.
"There's nothing to talk about." I replied.
"Course there is.. How about the fact that we kissed outside." He said sarcastically.
"No you kissed me." I answered.
"You kissed back which means technically we kissed." He said. I sighed... He had a point.
"What are we supposed to talk about. I think we both have established that we kissed. What more needs to be said?" I asked.
"You said it felt right... And it felt right for me to." He whispered.
"Just because it felt right doesn't mean I felt anything for you." I lied. Then suddenly he leant forward and pressed his lips against mine for the second time tonight only digging us a deeper hole. When he pulled away he placed his left hand on my face and looked me in the eye.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't feel anything for me." He said. I looked into his eyes but couldn't seem to say it.
"I... I can't." I stuttered looking down.
"Exactly, You felt something for me and I know I felt something for you... And I know were best friends.. But this can't be ignored." He rambled. I looked into his anxious almost desperate eyes but couldn't bring myself to say the words he wanted me to say. Instead I simply replied.
"Can't it." Then I got up and left him sitting on his bed and walked over to my room. Once in there I closed my door and slid down it silent tears slipping down my face. This wasn't supposed to happen. As if I didn't have enough problems.
I have to add another one to my list...
*Next morning*
*Bang*
"Wake up! Wake up." I heard Joeys excited rambles. I groaned and slammed the pillow over my head. After a sleepless night I wasn't exactly up for an early wake up call.
"Come on wake up.." I heard Billie whine. I rolled my eyes under the safety of my pillow. Then suddenly the covers were ripped from me and I was forced to retreat from under my pillow to look at the to smiling faces now jumping on my bed.
"Daddy she's awake she's awake." Joey said making me laugh despite how crap I was feeling. I looked at Billie who was bouncing dangerously close to the ceiling. And my warnings of, "Watch out" Were used in vain when the loud smack was heard.
"OW fu... Sugar." He quickly corrected remembering Joey was still in the room. I smirked.
"I warned you." I said. He pouted and stuck out his tongue making me and Joey laugh. He pretended to cry and ran out the room, me and Joey still laughing. When we stopped we sat silence for a while.
"Are you my sister?" My head snapped up to look at the young boy.
"Erm... I... What?" I stuttered nervously.
"I heard mom and dad talking last night. Mommy said it felt strange knowing there daughter was in the house. And dad said at least me and Jake finally get to meet our sister." He answered obviously confused but curious by what he heard. I put my head in my hands and sighed.
"You weren't supposed to know." I murmured.
"So it's true.. You are our sister!" He said his eyes glinting slightly with excitement.
"Erm.. Yeah." I finally replied. He smiled and ran out the room. I quickly followed when I realized what was about to happen. He ran into the kitchen where everyone else was.
"Guess what I-" He was cut off by me putting my hand over his mouth, smiling innocently at everyone at the room forgetting about the thing with Mark. I slowly backed out the room my hand still covering Joeys mouth pulling him with me.
"We'll... Be going now." Then I picked up Joey and walked out the room. I went back up to my bedroom and put Joey down on the bed.
"What was that for." He pouted. I sighed and sat next to him.
"You're not supposed to know about me being your sister... And I'm not sure if your mom and dad want you to now so you've gotta pretend you don't know. Okay?" I pleaded. He thought for a while then nodded.
"Okay promise I won't tell." He said. I smiled and hugged him.
"Can we go back downstairs now?" He asked. I nodded.
" Yeah sure one sec." I grabbed a jacket and pulled it over my pyjamas before walking downstairs with Joey. We walked in the kitchen and everyone looked up as if expecting another show. Adie raised an eyebrow.
"Have you two calmed down now." I smiled and Joey giggled. I felt someone tug at my sleeve I looked down to see Jakob smiling at me.
"Hi." He said. I smiled and picked him up.
"Hey are you ok now?" I said referring to the nightmare. He nodded.
"Yeah I'm fine now. Thank you for helping."
"No problem." I replied. He hugged me then I put him down and he ran back to his chair. I followed and sat down at the table briefly catching Marks eye before looking away.
"So... What are we up to today?" I asked taking a waffle from a plate in the middle of the table.
"Well we need to go get you some clothes." Adie said.
"But we don't have any money with us." Katie replied. Billie Joe snorted making us look at him funny and him roll his eyes.
"We'll pay, your staying with us so therefore you are our responsibility." He said and waved his hand as if to close the matter. I shrugged.
"When are we going then?" Mark asked.
"Now." Billie said.
"Oh yeah cause I'd love to go in my pyjamas and all but I don't think anyone else would appreciate that." I rolled my eyes and got up to go get changed.
"Well you kids get changed and I'm going to ring Mike and Tre, They'd probably love to see you three again." He said motioning for the five of us to get changed. We went to the stairs me keeping a safe distance away from Mark to get ready. I noticed Jakob was still half asleep and I picked him up to stop him falling.
*Billie's pov*
I sat back in my chair watching the five of them trudge up the stairs and smiled when I saw Charlotte pick up Jakob. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder I looked up and smiled at Adie who was also watching them she smiled to and sat next to me.
"Jakob and Joey seem to bonded with her." She said smiling thoughtfully. I nodded.
"Yeah, Jake told me he had a nightmare last night and Charlotte helped him. Are we gonna tell them about... You know the whole sister thing." I asked. Adie nodded slightly.
"Yeah... Eventually, but not yet I don't think they'd understand. You know?" She answered.
"Yeah that's probably best." I agreed. We heard voices that got increasingly louder.
"Sounds fun Jakey, but I really don't think it's possible." Charlotte said walking through the door Jakob by her side obviously discussing something but I had no idea what.
"Yuh huh it would be easy." Jakob replied.
"I really don't think it would." She answered ruffling his brown hair. They walked towards the table and sat down to wait for the others.
"Yeah it would." Jakob insisted. Charlotte then turned to me.
"Tell Jake it's impossible to go right over the bar of a swing." She said. I laughed.
"Yeah Jakob that would probably be impossible... Without ending up in hospital that is." I replied. He went to say something but Adie spoke first.
"Jake is your shirt on backwards?" He looked down then back up.
"Oops." He said. Adie sighed and picked him up muttering about how you'd think he'd be able to dress himself, she took him back upstairs to get changed probably. There was a comfortable silence between me and Charlotte before her cell phone ring tone filled the air. I noticed her look at who was calling he eyes widening. She noticed me watching and answered the call putting it on loud speaker.
"Hello?" Charlotte asked. There was a crackle down the line before a loud voice cut through the silence.
"Charlotte! Where the hell are you! You were supposed to be back yesterday. We thought you stayed at Katie's or something but her parents said something about staying in California for a couple more weeks." Charlotte closed her eyes and sighed.
"Yeah we decided to stay. Don't worry though we're fine... Mom." I couldn't help but feel upset and slightly hurt that she had to say that in front of me.
"I know you know Charlotte." Mary said making me look back up. I forgot that I told her.
"Erm... What how?" Charlotte asked.
"Billie told me, I guess your staying with him." She said. Charlotte looked at me then nodded slightly.
"Oh... Yeah we are."
"Well at least I know your safe." Mary said.
"Okay then bye. I guess I'll see you in a couple weeks." I was trying not to think about when she left. I knew I was going to grow attached and then she'd have to leave.
"Bye." Charlotte hung up and turned to me.
"So... Are Mike and Tre coming?" I jumped up.
"Shit I forgot to call them." I said and picked up the phone from the counter. I dialed Mike's number as Katie and Mark came down and sat at the table. I couldn't help notice the strange look Charlotte and Mark exchanged.
"Hello?" Mike's voice broke through my thoughts.
"Oh hey Mike, You wanna come shopping with us today?"
"Sure... Who's us?"
"Me, Adie, Joey, Jakob, Charlotte, Katie and Mark... And Tre if he can come."
"Wait... Didn't they leave?" Mike asked confused.
"No they decided to stay for a couple of weeks." I said smiling.
"Oh.. That's great Bill, You and Adie get to spend some time with Charlotte."
"Yeah.. I know" I said softly
"Well I'll come to your's now."
"Ok great bye Mike."
Then I phoned Tre and the phone call consisted of pretty much the same questions the one with Mike did. I put the phone back down and went over to the table where everyone was finally dressed and ready.
"They're on their way." I said going to sit down but the sounds of the doorbell filled the house before I had the chance to get comfortable. I sighed and went to get up but a hand on my head pushed me back down.
"I'll get it." Charlotte said and walked out the room. I shrugged and sat down.
*Charlotte's POV*
I answered the door and smiled at Mike he smiled back.
"Hey." He said.
"Hi" I answered.
"You look different from the concert... Your smiling." I laughed.
"Yeah well I feel better... I was just being a moody bitch at the concert." I replied shutting the door. Only to have the doorbell ring again. Mike laughed and made his was to the kitchen as I rolled my eyes and turned back to the door. I opened it only to be toppled over by the one and only Tre cool. We fell over both in hysterics.
"Hi Tre." I said once I'd calmed down.
"Hi." He replied. I saw in the corner of my eye Mike and Billie go into the living room. I stood up and helped Tre up. I motioned for him to be quiet and to follow me. I walked over to the living room door which they had closed and pressed my ear against it, Tre did to and we both listened in on Mike and Billie's conversation.
"Is she living here now?"
"No, her and her friends are staying for a couple weeks then there going back home."
"Isn't that going to be kind of hard for you and Adie... I mean you had to let her go once and that was hard enough for you. I still remember the way you both were. You barely spoke to me and Tre for weeks and you've never been the same since"-
I felt my breath catch, looks like they never did forget about me.
-" And when you had Joey, I know it was a happy time but it was obvious all you and Adie were thinking about was Charlotte. I know you've regretted ever letting her go so how are you going to be able to let her go back home now... Especially since you'll have spent time with her. You and Adie are going to be a mess when she goes and you know it."
"Course I know it." I heard Billie answer softly. "But isn't it better to have spent some time with her than none at all."
"I guess man, but it's going to be hard for you." I closed my eyes and bit my lip... It's going to be hard for me to. I felt a hand on my shoulder and opened my eyes to look at the concerned blue ones. I smiled slightly to show I was okay. We went to get up but suddenly the door that we were leaning on opened and we fell into the room.
"Shit." I said as I jumped up and ran to the kitchen Tre following. When we got there we tried to act natural as if we hadn't been eavesdropping at all even though we had so clearly been. Mike and Billie walked in with there arms crossed looking at me and Tre. We smiled innocently and Tre waved stupidly.
"Hi." He said and I couldn't help but laugh slightly as Billie smirked sarcastically and mimicked Tre.
"What's going on?" Katie asked answering for all the confused people seated at the table.
"These two." Billie said pointing at me and Tre. "Have been eavesdropping." Once again me and Tre smiled innocently making everyone laugh.
"Anyway.." I said changing the subject. "Shouldn't we be going?" Billie and Mike tutted and shook there heads, I rolled my eyes at them.
"Yeah.. Let's go." Shouted Jakob. We left the house and piled into two cars. Billie, Adie, Joey and Jakob in one. And Me, Mike Tre, Mark and Katie in the other. Tre called shotgun and Mike was driving so me, Katie and Mark got in the back. Unfortunately for me Mark was in the middle so I had to sit next to him. I looked out the window but I could still sense him watching me. And when we finally got to the shopping center and as I was getting out of the car he leant over and whispered in my ear.
"I need to talk to you." Then he kissed my cheek quickly sending more chills down my spine. I pushed the thoughts away and just looked at him before nodding and getting out the car. We walked over to where Billie parked his car and waited for them to get out. Then Billie came over to where me, Mark and Katie were and handed me some money. When I looked at it my mouth dropped open.
"There's gotta be like 2000 bucks here!" I exclaimed. He just looked at me.
"Yeah... Is that enough." He asked. We just gawped at him.
"That means we get like 650 bucks each! I've never seen so much money in my life." I said. He just laughed at us.
"Make sure you buy enough clothes. If you need more money just ring me or something we'll leave you three to shop on you own but meet us in starbucks at 1 and we'll go eat. Okay?" We all nodded.
"Okay bye." He said and they all walked away and left us alone. I sighed.
"Well let's go shopping"..
At around 12:15 we were done shopping. We'd bought loads of band t-shirts and jeans and other clothes. We decided to go to starbucks anyway and wait for 1 to come by. At 12:30 we were sitting down armed with coffee and muffins. Suddenly Mark stood up,
"I'll be right back." Then he left the café. Katie looked over at me.
"Spill." She said. I decided to act dumb.
"Huh?"
"What's going on with you and Mark?" I sighed and looked at my best friend of 6 years. Then I told her what happened last night and in the car. She looked at me wide eyed.
"Wow... I never thought he'd have the nerve to tell you." I looked at her confused.
"What?" I finally asked.
"He's had a crush on since the day we met him. I remember him telling me and he still really likes you."
"But that was three years ago!" I exclaimed. She nodded.
"Yeah I know, so what you gonna do. Do you like him?"
"I don't know... I know I felt something last night but that was the first time I've ever thought of him in a different way." I said. She once again nodded.
"Well now you know how he feels.. I guess it's up to you to make up your mind." She said.
"Easier said than done." I murmured as Mark walked back into the café holding a small bag. He sat down an started to drink his coffee again.
"Where did you go?" Katie asked. He shook his head.
"I... I just had to go get something." He said and I was positive he looked at me when he said that. Suddenly the lyrics to Ghost of you filled the air. Katie stood up fumbling in her pockets and pulling out her phone.
"Mom." She mumbled, "I gotta go take this." She got up and walked out the café to answer her call. Mark looked over at me.
"I got you something." He said quietly putting the bag I seen him carrying on the table. He pulled out a small box and handed it to me. I just looked at him then at the box. I picked it up and opened it. There lay a thin silver chain with a black guitar pick. I just gawped at it before looking back at Mark.
"I... Can't... I don't... I mean." I stuttered trying to find the words. He interrupted though.
"Look... I know you don't feel the same way about me as I feel for you.. So this is just a friendship gift. You know like a peace offering. If you don't want to be with me then I guess I'll have to deal with that... Just remember that I have loved you ever since I met you and I don't know how long it'll take to get over you, but your also my best friend and I don't want to ruin that so.. Yeah." He said looking me in the eyes. I looked back at the necklace.
"Thanks... It's really nice." I said. He took it out the box and put it on for me. I smiled at him and he smiled back and held out his hand,
"Friends?" He asked.
"Friends." I laughed and shook his hand. Then Katie walked back in.
"My mom's so over protective." She fumed. We laughed at her and she pouted. I looked at my watch 12:59. They'd be here soon. Then the door opened and they stepped in wearing hats and glasses as a disguise. They spotted us and came over and sat down on the chairs apart from Jakob and Joey. Jakob sat on Katie's knee and Joey on mine.
"Hi." I said to them all. They all greeted us back.
"Did you get all your stuff?" Tre asked as a waitress came over with the drinks Mike ordered for them.
"Yup." We answered showing them our bags.
"Did you have enough money?" Billie Joe asked.
"Yeah more than enough." I said pulling out around half of the money and handing it over to him but he pushed it away.
"Keep it you'll probably need it some time." I shrugged.
"Erm... Okay, thanks."
"How long have been here." Mike asked looking at the many empty cups at our table.
"Bout and hour." Mark shrugged.
"But we said to meet us at one." Adie said. We nodded.
"Yeah we know, We finished shopping and we were bored so we came here." I replied. We finished our drinks and headed back to the house for lunch. We arrived 'home' and I went straight to my room asking Adie to call me when lunch was ready. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes subconsciously feeling for my necklace and locket but all I felt was my necklace. I shot up in a panic searching everywhere in my room. I ran downstairs tears now falling from eyes at the thought of losing the one thing apart from my Bass that meant so much to me. I ran into the kitchen. Everyone looked up and immediately asked what was wrong when they saw I was crying. Billie came and put his arm round me.
"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.
"I lost it... I lost my locket." I cried. Billie released me from the hug.
"No you haven't." I looked at him confused.
"Huh?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out my locket.
"Why did you have it?" I asked.
"Open it." He replied. I did as I was told and my breath caught. Instead of the baby picture of me there was a picture of Adie, Billie and Joey and Jakob. And the poem had changed.
We wouldn't forget you that promise was true,
And you finally know how much we love you,
And one day you'll leave and we'll say goodbye,
Our hearts may break but we'll try not to cry,
We know you'll come back but we don't know when,
We'll have to work through it 'till we meet again,
