I've Been Living A Lie, chapter 11
One week later and the phone call I'd been expecting arrived. It was around four in the afternoon and I was outside with everyone bar Joey and Jakob who were at their friends house. All the adults were in the pool playing chicken and genuinely having fun. And me, Mark and Katie were lying on the deck chairs wathing them amused. My phone buzzed and I answered it lazily.
"Hello."
"Hi Charlotte." I sat up straight my eyes widening slightly. Mark and Katie noticed and they also sat up, Katie sliding her sunglasses down her nose to look at me closely.
"Erm... hey.." What do you call some one when you find out their not really your dad at all.
"When are you coming home," he asked sternly.
"Erm... I don't know."
"Well I do...your plane leave's tommorow at 12. I've had the airport send the tickets to you." My mouth fell open.
"What... No!" Now the adults in the pool had also stopped to watch what was going on.
"Don't argue with me! Your mom will pick you up at the airport." Then he hung up before I could say anything. I couldn't believe my time in California was up already. I looked over to my parents questioning eyes and swallowed hard before turning to Mark and Katie.
"We leave in the morning," I said quietly before turning and walked into the house. I ran up to my room and packed all my stuff which wasn't much since I only had what i'd bought the week before. Although I was upset I couldn't help but think that it was probably for the best. My life was back home...it was time to go back to reality. I heard a knock on the door.
"Come in," I muttered. I briefly glance up to be met with a pair of desperate green eyes. I sigh and look back at my clothes. Billie walks over and grabs my wrists preventing me from moving.
"You can't leave," he said although it sounded like it was meant for more his benefit than mine. I looked up again and shrugged.
"I have to," I replied but he shook his head and I saw the mixture of emotions in his eyes. Desperation, Sadness...Fear.
Fear of loosing his only daughter once again.
"You don't have to do anything.. stay here... theres room. You can't leave," he said practically begging as I watched him feeling my stomach tighten after every breath I took.
"You knew I had to leave! I can't stay here.. I've made a life back home, I have friends back home!" I shouted feeling a unexpected rush of anger as I tried to think of a reasonable reason.
"I have to go. Now if you wouldn't mind I have packing to do." I continued calmly pushing him out of the room. Not daring to look at his eyes... knowing they'd probably kill me. I closed the door behind him and slumped to the floor. I don't want to leave but I'd never disobey my 'dad'. When I was younger he used to be violent, he always hit my 'mom' but one time he did hit me. I was eight years old...
*Flashback*
I walked downstairs and followed the sound of my parents arguing.. again. It always scared me when my dad shouted. And sometimes my mom would have bruises on her face and when I asked why she simply tell me she fell and then ignore the matter. I never believed her and now I had the proof. I looked through the doorway my dad's fist held up high over my moms already beaten body. I froze, a high pitched scream filled the air, me so scared that I was unware it left my own mouth. My dad shot up and turned his angry cold eyes on me. He charged towards me as my mom sat up screaming at him to leave me alone. He didn't stop though he pushed me against a wall as hard as he could my head smashing against the wall. Then he lifted his hand making a fist and bringing it down against my cheek. I screamed as pain ripped through my face. My dad looked at me, eyes wide in disbelief. He couldn't believe he'd just hit his daughter. Then he slumped to the ground crying rambling about how sorry he was. My mom looked at me and motioned me over to her. I ran and cried into her arms.
*End flashback*
After that my dad took anger management courses and therepy. He never hit me again and as far as I know he never hit my mom either. I always try and stay on his good side though. I get scared everytime he yells... scared he'll freak out at me. The therapist warned if he got so angry at something it may trigger off his anger. So I usually steered clear of him completely. I finished packing and walked down the stairs. I was kind of freaked out by the eerie silence. And even more freaked out when I saw Mike, Tre, Billie Joe and Adie in the livingroom just staring into space sitting in complete silence, I figured Mark and Katie were packing. I gingerly walked in and sat on the sofa next to Adie. Only Mike and Tre seemed to acknowledge my presence, Billie and Adie just sat there lost in thought. I was about to speak but instead Billie broke the silence by standing up suddenly and storming towards the door.
"I'm going out," he muttered. I looked at Tre and Mike confused, they just sighed. They knew exactly what was going on.
This was the early stages of depression.. something they'd only seen the first time I went away.
I glanced over at Adie who had her head in her hands and not being able to stand the tension anymore I got up and left. I walked to the front door and down the drive and didn't stop until I got to a park. I trudged over to the swings and sat down gently rocking it. I stayed there untill the sun was starting to set, Then I got off the swing to walk to the beach. The same one Adie and Billie had took us to earlier this week. I've always wanted to watch the sun set on the beach. When I got there I was happy to see it was empty apart from one person further down the shore who also seemed to be watching the sun set. I sat down and hugged my knees, mesmorized by the scene. I was in a sort of trance, so much I didn't notice the mystery figure approaching.
"Charlotte?" I looked up at the familiar voice, squinting slightly in the dark.
"Billie? What are you doing here?" he sighed and glanced back out at the night sky.
"I always come here...to think. I like watching the sun set," he replied. I nodded.
"Yeah same. I've always wanted to watch the sun set on the beach but there's no beaches near where I live," I said quietly. He sat down next to me, and we both looked over at the sea.
"What time do you... leave?" he asked sadly. I looked over at him as he looked at the ground and I noticed his eyes glinting more than usual in the moon light.
"Have you been crying?" I questioned. He looked at me and sighed. He didn't need to answer I knew he had.
"You didn't answer the question," he said obviously trying to steer the conversation in another direction.
"12," I answered with a sigh. He put his face in his hands and shook his head.
"I don't want you to leave," he muttered.
"I don't want to leave," I replied without realising what I was saying. He looked up at me.
"Then don't," he demanded. "If you don't want to go, then don't."
"I have to."
"Why?"
"Because my dad w-" I tried to say but he cut me off.
"He's not your dad." I just shrugged half heartedly.
"Whatever...that's not my point."
"Then what's your point?" he asked looking me in the eyes. I silently debated over whether to tell him.
"I'm scared of my da...Peter. He used to be violent and hit Mary." I started being careful to say their names instead of mom and dad. I looked back at Billie and his eyes were glazed in anger almost as if he knew what was coming.
"And one time, when I was eight... he erm.. well he hit me." I paused as he jumped up with his fists clenched making me jump in shock. I stood up slowly to try and calm him down and explain.
"But after that he went to therepy and anger management and then he was fine. He never hit me or Mary again. It still scares me when he shouts though because it reminds me of that night when he hit me." I looked down and kicked some of the sand around.
"Your not going back there!" he said with so much hatred it made me shiver.
"I'll be fine," I said lamely.
"How do you know that! I know you don't know that, you wouldn't have told me about all this if you were sure about that." I once again looked down...he was right. I wasn't sure about anything anymore.
"It doesn't matter... I'm leaving tommorow and we're going to have to accept that." He looked at me as I felt tears drip down my cheeks. He went to reply but his phone started ringing. He muttered something under his breath as he pulled the phone out of his pocket.
"Hello?"
...
"Oh hey Adie."
...
"No don't worry she's with me." He looked at me where I was still crying and now shivering, mentally kicking myself for not grabbing a jacket before I left. He stepped towards me and wrapped his free arm around me and rested his chin on my head in a... well fatherly way.
"We'll be back soon, don't worry."
...
"Okay, bye." He put the phone back in his pocket and wrapped his other arm round me to.
"Look, I know I can't stop you from going. And if you think it's safe then I trust you it's just.. I.. I'm going to miss you. And so is Adie, Joey and Jakob. Hell even Mike and Tre are going to miss you." I started crying again as I nodded.
"I'm going to miss you guys to," I replied.
"It was hard enough for me and Adie to give you up the first time. And now look at you your nearly 15. I never thought you'd come to California... the plan was to tell you when you were 16. And we didn't expect you just turn up without warning, it was a shock for us and now you have to leave again. And it's going to be even harder now. This past week has been great and to know we might not see you for ages.. it's killing me. It was so hard to watch you being litterally taken from my arms when you were born. And now it's happening again... 15 years later what I thought I would never have to go through is happening." I pulled out of the embrace to look him in the eye.
"If you never wanted to give me away.. why did you?" I asked the question that had been pretty much burning inside me for a while now.
"We had to. We were young and skint. We wouldn't have been able to afford the things you would've needed. And no way were we going to put you through that. I figured it'd be hard to let you go but when you were born you were so sweet and small ... then they took you away..." He paused and I saw tear drip down his cheek.
"...They said the social worker was here and took you right from my arms. And I remember crying 'cause it was the worst feeling in the world. And the nurses just walked out with you and Adie was crying to and I felt like my heart was being ripped out seeing her so upset... and I started crying more. If only we'd known Green Day would make it big we wouldn't of had to do any of that. Please ...can you atleast keep in touch."
"I'll keep in touch I promise. It's just hard for me to know that i've pretty much been living a lie my whole life," I explained.
"Yeah I know... come on let's go. It looks like it's going to be a long day tommorow," he said leading me to his car. When we got back I walked in slowly behind Billie and looked at the ground. We trudged into the living room and were immedietly met with the silence we had left before. Tre, Mike and Adrienne were sitting on the couch and Katie and Mark were lying on their backs near the door so we had to step over them to get in the room.
"Where are Joey and Jakob?" Billie asked Adie. She shrugged.
"Their in Joey's room on the Xbox," she said. Billie Joe nodded an sat next to her as I lay down next to Mark.
"Did you tell them about them leaving?" Billie asked her in a hushed voice.
"No, I'll tell them in the morning," she replied in the same tone of voice. I sighed and rolled onto my side to face Mark. I looked over at Katie and she had her eyes closed so I was pretty sure she was asleep. Mark noticed me wathcing him so he also rolled over to face me.
"Are you okay?" he questioned looking me in the eyes. I once again felt the shiver down my spine as he rubbed my arm. Instead of feeling uncomfortable I felt comforted. I smiled weakly at him and nodded.
"I'll be fine," I whispered. He looked at me again.
"Yeah you'll be fine 'cause you got me and Katie to help you through. If you ever need someone to talk to i'm her for you," he said wrapping a arm round me and pulling me close as I also wrapped an arm around him, smiling slightly into his hug.
"Thanks Mark, you don't know how much that means to me," I replied truthfully. He went to speak but the now awake Katie interupted instead.
"You two are getting cosy aren't you," she said quietly so the adults wouldn't hear. I pulled out of the embrace in time to see Mark glare at her.
"Charlottes upset...you could be a little nicer," he said bitterly. Katie looked down sheepishly.
"Sorry," she muttered. I laughed softly.
"It's okay," Mark yawned making me and Katie yawn then laugh. I got up from the floor and turned to the adults who stopped the conversation when I stood up.
"I'm going to bed... I'm fucking knackered," I said wincing when I realised I swore infront of them . They laughed as I quickly apologized. Then I turned to Katie and Mark who were falling asleep on the floor. I sighed and kicked them both gently. I faintly heard a snigger from behind me when I did that. Katie and Mark jumped up in shock and I smiled and pulled them both up into standing positon. They immediately slumped agaisnt me."Hey! I'm not a wall guys!" I muttered bitterly pushing them off me. "I think you can make it up the stairs on your own."
They sighed and started walking up to their rooms. I turned back to round the four people on the couch who were watching me with a amused look on their faces.
"Well... night then," I smiled at them as they mumbled back their responses. I turned round and stumbled lazily up the stairs on the way I saw light coming under Joeys door. I quietly opened it and smirked at the sight. The t.v was turned off and Joey and Jakob were asleep on the floor. I walked over to Joey and picked him up, I placed him on his bed and pulled the covers over him. Then I walked over to Jakob and picked him up slowly leaving the room so not to wake the sleeping boy. I turned off Joeys light and closed the door. I turned back round to go to Jakes room but instead jumped when I saw Billie behind me. I quickly checked Jake didn't wake up then looked back to Billie.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
"They were both asleep so I put Joey to bed and I'm taking Jakob back to his room." I replied quietly so I wouldn't disturb Jake . Billie smiled widely.. slightly freaking me out.
"You know you really look scary when you do that." I informed him. He chuckled then he suddenly went sad.
"It's going to be quiet without you." He muttered. "And Joey and Jake are really going to miss you." I bit my lip and looked down. Then I nodded and glanced back up.
"I know.. but I knew it was coming I can't stay here." He looked at me sadly before answering.
"Yeah.. I guess."
"Well I should go put Jake to bed," I muttered turning away from the awkward conversation. I was near Jakes door when I remembered something. I swiveled back to face Billie. He was looking down at the ground.
"Billie?" He looked up. "Please don't tell anyone about what I told you at the beach... I mean I've never told anyone apart from Katie and Mark. It's not something I like to share," I said quietly blinking away tears as the memories resurface. He just nodded.
"Okay," He murmured, I smiled weakly at him.
"Thank you." I wiped my eyes with my free hand and took a deep breath before opening Jakobs door and placing him in his bed. Then I left the room and walked to my own bedroom. Collapsing on the bed from being both mentally and physically exhausted. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
*Next morning*
I woke up from someone banging on the door.
"Charlotte! Wake up we've gotta leave in half an hour. Our plane leaves at 12 and its already quarter to 11," Mark shouted, I groaned and got up throwing the door open.
"I'm up, I'm up!" I said sleepily, he smiled.
"Good now get ready.. you got half an hour." Then he turned and went down the stairs. I sighed and closed the door. I went to my suit case where I'd packed all my clothes. I pulled out my black button down shirt and black jeans. I put my hair up and quickly applied eyeliner. I stepped back and looked in the mirror.
I took a deep breath. 'Well this is it'. I thought and grabbed my suitcase. I dragged it out the room and down the stairs, then left it by the front door. I was walking to the kitchen where I knew Mark and Katie were when I stopped by the living room. Billie and Adie were talking to Joey and Jakob. I hid round the corner and listened in.
"What do you mean they're leaving," Joey asked.
"They're going back to there homes...they don't live here," Adie explained.
"But I don't want them to leave," Jake whined making me smile slightly, then frown... I really was going to miss them. I walked to the kitchen and sat next to Mark.
"You were quick," he said with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged.
"I don't need to get dressed up to get on a plane." He laughed and drunk the rest of his drink. Then Billie came in.
"Okay guys, we'll take you to the airport in about 10 minutes," he said quietly. Then Joey and Jakob walked in pouting and sat opposite me and Mark with their arms crossed. Everyone looked at them but their facial expressions refused to change.
"What's up guys?" I asked them. They just pouted more and never answered making me smile despite the situation.
"Come on guys we gotta leave now if you want to catch your flight," Adie sighed throwing three plane tickets on the table. I looked at her confused.
"When did these come," I asked. She just shrugged.
"This morning the airport must have sent them," I nodded. Then we got up and headed to the car. I paused and took a final look at the house before climbing in next to Katie. The whole car ride was silent except for the occasional bikkering from Joey and Jakob. When we arrived me, Katie and Mark grabbed our bags from the boot and I prepared to say my good byes. I knew they couldn't come in the airport as there was a chance of getting chased by fans. I put my bag down and turned to them already feeling my eyes well with tears. Adrienne was already crying and Joey and Jakob were still pouting. I crouched down to there level.
"Are you two going to stay mad at me forevor?" I asked. They looked at me then shook there heads. I smiled and pulled them into a hug.
"Bye guys." I whispered. Then I stood up and looked at Billie and Adie. I first hugged Adie goodbye.
"Bye Adie," I said once again feeling the familiar burning in my eyes. She hugged me tighter and whispered bye. I felt the tears finally drip from my eyes as I pulled away. Then I hugged Billie.
"Remember to keep in touch...you promised," He murmured into my ear. I nodded.
"A promise is a promise," I replied pulling away and wiping my eyes. I took a deep breath and turned round to Mark and Katie picking up my bag as I went. They said there goodbyes then we went, Mark and Katie put their arms around me and we walked into the airport. Pretty soon we were on the plane and this time I wasn't going to get off. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep. I was awoke by some one shaking me.
"Come on Charlotte were here," Katie said. I got up and followed them off the plane, trying to get my vision back from it being temporarily blurred. That's when I realised I must have been crying in my sleep. I sighed and we set off to get out luggage. When we got it I looked around and I immediately spotted my 'mom'. We walked over and I smiled at her.
"Hi did you lot have a nice trip." We nodded and let her lead us to the car. Katie and Mark got in the back and I got in the front seat. We drove to Marks in silence. I helped him with his stuff then gave him a quick hug.
"Remember," he whispered in my ear. "We're here for you." I smiled at him.
"Yeah.. thanks." I turned and got back in the car and we drove once again in silence to Katies. I got out and also helped her with her stuff. "Bye Katie," I said and waved after talking for a couple of minutes and climbed back into the car seat.
"So..." I said attempting to start up conversation. "Is.. erm dad at home?" she sighed.
"Unfortunately yes and I wouldn't talk about Billie Joe or Adrienne or California at all for that matter around him. He's been getting angry and shouting when I bring it up. And you remember what the therepist said..." She trailed off and that when I noticed she had more make up on than usual. I felt the sharp feeling of realization hit me.
"He hit you...didn't he? That's why you're telling me this. 'Cause it's started again," I whispered. My fear for going home rising rapidly. She looked at me and didn't answer but her eyes told me everything.
"I'm just warning you not to get on the wrong side of him," she said and I nodded breathing in deeply to calm my nerves as she pulled into the drive way. I got out and grabbed my stuff and we walked in the house quietly. The moment the door opened my dad's booming voice came throught the doorway. Then he appeared and Mary was right, the cold. harsh look that i'd only seen all those years ago had settled in his eyes, And when he turned them eyes on me I felt fear like never before. Mary noticed and looked over at me.
"Maybe you should go put your stuff away," she said. I nodded taking the hint and running to my room. I immedietly fell face first onto my bed and sighed. I looked at all my posters especially the ones of Green Day. They seemed to have taken a new meaning now. I sighed and rolled of my bed cursing quietly when I landed on my suitcase. Then I grabbed Midnight from it's stand and started strumming some random tunes. I spent the rest of the day and most of the evening watching some t.v and playing some bass. At around 7:30 I heard heavy footsteps getting closer to my room. I put down Midnight as I knew what was coming next. My heart rate increased as the door flew open. And there he was he came towards me red faced with anger.
"I don't know what went on in California or what lies they fed you but don't expect for it ever to happen again. You are never to contact them again and if they try to get in contact you ignore them! Understand me?" He shouted making me wince and unwillingly nod. Looks like my promise to Billie wasn't going to happen after all. Peter glared at me and walked back ut the room leaving me to cry alone.
*Two weeks later*
In the past two weeks the only people I'd spoke to were Mary, Katie and Mark. I stuck to my word and never contacted Billie and Adie no matter how much I wanted to. It was a around 11:30 in the morning and I'd just got up. I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to get a drink. Peter was there sitting at the table reading the paper. He looked over at me.
"Good morning," he grumbled.
"Erm...hi," I stuttered. I turned back to my glass and poured my drink quickly drining it's contents. I was about to leave when he spoke.
"Why don't you call me dad anymore." He questioned rising out of his chair. I froze, he was right I hadn't called him dad since California.
"Erm...I dunno." I tried feeling my blood pulse through my veins faster than it should do as I grew more nervous with each step he took. He stopped infront of me.
"So call me dad," he demanded, backing me against a wall.
"I...I can't," I whispered. His face grew visibly angry as the words left my mouth.
"You what!" he shouted. I knew he could hit me. Mary wasn't there to protect me since she was at work.
"I can't," I said a little louder. His eyes burned into mine and he roughly pushed me towards the stairs.
"You go to your room! And don't you dare come out until you learn respect for your parents!" He boomed making me jump and run towards my room. I quickly closed the door and sat on my bed crying. When was this nightmare going to end. Then I looked towards the phone...
*Billies POV*
I sat at my desk looking through the random papers that had collected there. I had a argument with Adrienne... the 6th one since Charlotte left. I knew it was always me who started them. This is exactly what happened 15 years ago, we nearly split up over it. I was depressed and taking it out on anyone who tried to help. I couldn't believe Charlotte hadn't called when she promised she'd keep in touch. I sighed and stood up from my desk looking in the mirror hung above it taking note of my ruffled appearance. My hair was a mess, my face was pale and I had huge bags under my eyes. I attempted to neaten myselft up but abandoned it when the phone rung. I leant over my dest and picked it up.
"Hello?" I was met with silence.
"Hello..?" I asked. Then I heard something that sounded like crying. I sat up straight when I heard the voice.
"Billie." I stood up.
"Charlotte?!" I asked feeling extremely worried by the fear in her voice.
"He.... It's started. I'm scared...what if he kills me?" She stuttered between tears. I also felt fear as I grew more anxious..
"Wh.. who?" I asked nervously.
"Peter." She replied simply as if even saying his name would cause her harm. I felt red hot anger through my viens.
"Charlotte what's your address?" I asked frantically grabbing for a pen. She told me and I scribbled it down.
"Sit tight Charlotte... I'm coming to you, okay? Just stay out of his way." She started crying again.
"Okay.. Billie I'm scared." I felt my body tense at how scared she was of this man and I also felt tears run down my face.
"I...I know but I promise I'm on the next plane to you, okay?"
"Okay." I put the phone down and grabbed my car keys. I ran to the kitchen to find Adie forgetting the argument. She looked up and noticed my tearstained face and anxious expression.
"Billie what's the matter," she asked.
"Charlotte.. she needs us, I'll explain in the car. Get the boys, we'll drop them off at my moms." She nodded with no further question and went to get the boys while I grabbed mine and Adie's passports. Pretty soon we were on the road as I quickly drove to my mom's house praying that she was in. I got Joey and Jakob out the car and knocked on the front door. My mom answered and looked confused as to why her youngest son and grandsons were at the door.
"What's going on?" she asked letting Joey and Jakob into her house. She knew all about Charlotte and she'd been the only one in he past two weeks who I had told my problems.
"Charlotte rung she's in trouble. Remeber that man I told you about...well she thinks he's going to kill her and we have to go to her. So can you please watch Joey and Jakob till we get back," I rambled. She nodded immediedetly.
"Sure I will... you just go get my grand daughter and bring her to a family who cares." She said. I smiled slightly and ran back to the car and started driving again.
"So tell me what going on," Adie demanded. I quickly told her all about what Charlotte said. She gasped.
"You mean our daughters living with a psycho," she whispered. I nodded.
"Guess so," I muttered taking a left at the lights.
"Where are you going the airports the other way." Adie asked.
"I know.. I'm going to get Mike and Tre. If this man is anything like she said theres no way I could take him alone." I explained. We went to both there houses with both of them agreeing instantly when I explained the situation. Soon we were at the airport I quickly stopped at the desk.
"When's you next flight to New York," I asked. She typed some stuff on her computor.
"The next one leaves in 20 minutes. There's 7 seats left but I'm afraid we only have first class," she said.
"That's fine," I replied pulling out my wallet and paying for them. 30 minutes later we were off on the way to New York...
*Charlotte's POV*
I sat in my room quietly like Billie told me to. I grabbed my Ipod and turned it on in a lame attempt to calm my nerves. Even though I knew Billie and more than likely Mike and Tre were coming, I also knew it would be a while until they got here. I turned off my Ipod and put it away and sat curled up in the corner of my room. Around an hour and a half later the house was still in a eerie silence. That was untill I heard the footsteps coming towards my room. I sat up straight as he opened the door and looked over at me. He slowly walked to me and pulled me into standing position.
"So are you going to call me dad?" He snarled his face so close I could see the anger burning deep in his eyes.
"I...um." That's when I realised although I'd never called Adie or Billie mom or dad, calling Peter dad felt like I was betraying them. And I couldn't do that so instead I shook my head and firmly closed my mouth. Bad choice...he pushed me roughly into the wall I felt my body go numb as my head slammed against it. Then I felt his fist smash into my face and I was vaguley aware of the blood that was soaking my shirt. I slumped to the ground as he continued to hit and kick me, so much that I didn't even feel it anymore. When he was convinced that every part of my body was bruised he stopped and put his face near mine.
"That'll teach you to disobey me," he said kicking me once more in the stomach. I could taste blood in my mouth and I couldn't move at all. I faintly heard him close the door as he left me alone. I knew I was falling into unconsiousnes and then I heard alot of banging on the front door before blacking out completely...
"Hello."
"Hi Charlotte." I sat up straight my eyes widening slightly. Mark and Katie noticed and they also sat up, Katie sliding her sunglasses down her nose to look at me closely.
"Erm... hey.." What do you call some one when you find out their not really your dad at all.
"When are you coming home," he asked sternly.
"Erm... I don't know."
"Well I do...your plane leave's tommorow at 12. I've had the airport send the tickets to you." My mouth fell open.
"What... No!" Now the adults in the pool had also stopped to watch what was going on.
"Don't argue with me! Your mom will pick you up at the airport." Then he hung up before I could say anything. I couldn't believe my time in California was up already. I looked over to my parents questioning eyes and swallowed hard before turning to Mark and Katie.
"We leave in the morning," I said quietly before turning and walked into the house. I ran up to my room and packed all my stuff which wasn't much since I only had what i'd bought the week before. Although I was upset I couldn't help but think that it was probably for the best. My life was back home...it was time to go back to reality. I heard a knock on the door.
"Come in," I muttered. I briefly glance up to be met with a pair of desperate green eyes. I sigh and look back at my clothes. Billie walks over and grabs my wrists preventing me from moving.
"You can't leave," he said although it sounded like it was meant for more his benefit than mine. I looked up again and shrugged.
"I have to," I replied but he shook his head and I saw the mixture of emotions in his eyes. Desperation, Sadness...Fear.
Fear of loosing his only daughter once again.
"You don't have to do anything.. stay here... theres room. You can't leave," he said practically begging as I watched him feeling my stomach tighten after every breath I took.
"You knew I had to leave! I can't stay here.. I've made a life back home, I have friends back home!" I shouted feeling a unexpected rush of anger as I tried to think of a reasonable reason.
"I have to go. Now if you wouldn't mind I have packing to do." I continued calmly pushing him out of the room. Not daring to look at his eyes... knowing they'd probably kill me. I closed the door behind him and slumped to the floor. I don't want to leave but I'd never disobey my 'dad'. When I was younger he used to be violent, he always hit my 'mom' but one time he did hit me. I was eight years old...
*Flashback*
I walked downstairs and followed the sound of my parents arguing.. again. It always scared me when my dad shouted. And sometimes my mom would have bruises on her face and when I asked why she simply tell me she fell and then ignore the matter. I never believed her and now I had the proof. I looked through the doorway my dad's fist held up high over my moms already beaten body. I froze, a high pitched scream filled the air, me so scared that I was unware it left my own mouth. My dad shot up and turned his angry cold eyes on me. He charged towards me as my mom sat up screaming at him to leave me alone. He didn't stop though he pushed me against a wall as hard as he could my head smashing against the wall. Then he lifted his hand making a fist and bringing it down against my cheek. I screamed as pain ripped through my face. My dad looked at me, eyes wide in disbelief. He couldn't believe he'd just hit his daughter. Then he slumped to the ground crying rambling about how sorry he was. My mom looked at me and motioned me over to her. I ran and cried into her arms.
*End flashback*
After that my dad took anger management courses and therepy. He never hit me again and as far as I know he never hit my mom either. I always try and stay on his good side though. I get scared everytime he yells... scared he'll freak out at me. The therapist warned if he got so angry at something it may trigger off his anger. So I usually steered clear of him completely. I finished packing and walked down the stairs. I was kind of freaked out by the eerie silence. And even more freaked out when I saw Mike, Tre, Billie Joe and Adie in the livingroom just staring into space sitting in complete silence, I figured Mark and Katie were packing. I gingerly walked in and sat on the sofa next to Adie. Only Mike and Tre seemed to acknowledge my presence, Billie and Adie just sat there lost in thought. I was about to speak but instead Billie broke the silence by standing up suddenly and storming towards the door.
"I'm going out," he muttered. I looked at Tre and Mike confused, they just sighed. They knew exactly what was going on.
This was the early stages of depression.. something they'd only seen the first time I went away.
I glanced over at Adie who had her head in her hands and not being able to stand the tension anymore I got up and left. I walked to the front door and down the drive and didn't stop until I got to a park. I trudged over to the swings and sat down gently rocking it. I stayed there untill the sun was starting to set, Then I got off the swing to walk to the beach. The same one Adie and Billie had took us to earlier this week. I've always wanted to watch the sun set on the beach. When I got there I was happy to see it was empty apart from one person further down the shore who also seemed to be watching the sun set. I sat down and hugged my knees, mesmorized by the scene. I was in a sort of trance, so much I didn't notice the mystery figure approaching.
"Charlotte?" I looked up at the familiar voice, squinting slightly in the dark.
"Billie? What are you doing here?" he sighed and glanced back out at the night sky.
"I always come here...to think. I like watching the sun set," he replied. I nodded.
"Yeah same. I've always wanted to watch the sun set on the beach but there's no beaches near where I live," I said quietly. He sat down next to me, and we both looked over at the sea.
"What time do you... leave?" he asked sadly. I looked over at him as he looked at the ground and I noticed his eyes glinting more than usual in the moon light.
"Have you been crying?" I questioned. He looked at me and sighed. He didn't need to answer I knew he had.
"You didn't answer the question," he said obviously trying to steer the conversation in another direction.
"12," I answered with a sigh. He put his face in his hands and shook his head.
"I don't want you to leave," he muttered.
"I don't want to leave," I replied without realising what I was saying. He looked up at me.
"Then don't," he demanded. "If you don't want to go, then don't."
"I have to."
"Why?"
"Because my dad w-" I tried to say but he cut me off.
"He's not your dad." I just shrugged half heartedly.
"Whatever...that's not my point."
"Then what's your point?" he asked looking me in the eyes. I silently debated over whether to tell him.
"I'm scared of my da...Peter. He used to be violent and hit Mary." I started being careful to say their names instead of mom and dad. I looked back at Billie and his eyes were glazed in anger almost as if he knew what was coming.
"And one time, when I was eight... he erm.. well he hit me." I paused as he jumped up with his fists clenched making me jump in shock. I stood up slowly to try and calm him down and explain.
"But after that he went to therepy and anger management and then he was fine. He never hit me or Mary again. It still scares me when he shouts though because it reminds me of that night when he hit me." I looked down and kicked some of the sand around.
"Your not going back there!" he said with so much hatred it made me shiver.
"I'll be fine," I said lamely.
"How do you know that! I know you don't know that, you wouldn't have told me about all this if you were sure about that." I once again looked down...he was right. I wasn't sure about anything anymore.
"It doesn't matter... I'm leaving tommorow and we're going to have to accept that." He looked at me as I felt tears drip down my cheeks. He went to reply but his phone started ringing. He muttered something under his breath as he pulled the phone out of his pocket.
"Hello?"
...
"Oh hey Adie."
...
"No don't worry she's with me." He looked at me where I was still crying and now shivering, mentally kicking myself for not grabbing a jacket before I left. He stepped towards me and wrapped his free arm around me and rested his chin on my head in a... well fatherly way.
"We'll be back soon, don't worry."
...
"Okay, bye." He put the phone back in his pocket and wrapped his other arm round me to.
"Look, I know I can't stop you from going. And if you think it's safe then I trust you it's just.. I.. I'm going to miss you. And so is Adie, Joey and Jakob. Hell even Mike and Tre are going to miss you." I started crying again as I nodded.
"I'm going to miss you guys to," I replied.
"It was hard enough for me and Adie to give you up the first time. And now look at you your nearly 15. I never thought you'd come to California... the plan was to tell you when you were 16. And we didn't expect you just turn up without warning, it was a shock for us and now you have to leave again. And it's going to be even harder now. This past week has been great and to know we might not see you for ages.. it's killing me. It was so hard to watch you being litterally taken from my arms when you were born. And now it's happening again... 15 years later what I thought I would never have to go through is happening." I pulled out of the embrace to look him in the eye.
"If you never wanted to give me away.. why did you?" I asked the question that had been pretty much burning inside me for a while now.
"We had to. We were young and skint. We wouldn't have been able to afford the things you would've needed. And no way were we going to put you through that. I figured it'd be hard to let you go but when you were born you were so sweet and small ... then they took you away..." He paused and I saw tear drip down his cheek.
"...They said the social worker was here and took you right from my arms. And I remember crying 'cause it was the worst feeling in the world. And the nurses just walked out with you and Adie was crying to and I felt like my heart was being ripped out seeing her so upset... and I started crying more. If only we'd known Green Day would make it big we wouldn't of had to do any of that. Please ...can you atleast keep in touch."
"I'll keep in touch I promise. It's just hard for me to know that i've pretty much been living a lie my whole life," I explained.
"Yeah I know... come on let's go. It looks like it's going to be a long day tommorow," he said leading me to his car. When we got back I walked in slowly behind Billie and looked at the ground. We trudged into the living room and were immedietly met with the silence we had left before. Tre, Mike and Adrienne were sitting on the couch and Katie and Mark were lying on their backs near the door so we had to step over them to get in the room.
"Where are Joey and Jakob?" Billie asked Adie. She shrugged.
"Their in Joey's room on the Xbox," she said. Billie Joe nodded an sat next to her as I lay down next to Mark.
"Did you tell them about them leaving?" Billie asked her in a hushed voice.
"No, I'll tell them in the morning," she replied in the same tone of voice. I sighed and rolled onto my side to face Mark. I looked over at Katie and she had her eyes closed so I was pretty sure she was asleep. Mark noticed me wathcing him so he also rolled over to face me.
"Are you okay?" he questioned looking me in the eyes. I once again felt the shiver down my spine as he rubbed my arm. Instead of feeling uncomfortable I felt comforted. I smiled weakly at him and nodded.
"I'll be fine," I whispered. He looked at me again.
"Yeah you'll be fine 'cause you got me and Katie to help you through. If you ever need someone to talk to i'm her for you," he said wrapping a arm round me and pulling me close as I also wrapped an arm around him, smiling slightly into his hug.
"Thanks Mark, you don't know how much that means to me," I replied truthfully. He went to speak but the now awake Katie interupted instead.
"You two are getting cosy aren't you," she said quietly so the adults wouldn't hear. I pulled out of the embrace in time to see Mark glare at her.
"Charlottes upset...you could be a little nicer," he said bitterly. Katie looked down sheepishly.
"Sorry," she muttered. I laughed softly.
"It's okay," Mark yawned making me and Katie yawn then laugh. I got up from the floor and turned to the adults who stopped the conversation when I stood up.
"I'm going to bed... I'm fucking knackered," I said wincing when I realised I swore infront of them . They laughed as I quickly apologized. Then I turned to Katie and Mark who were falling asleep on the floor. I sighed and kicked them both gently. I faintly heard a snigger from behind me when I did that. Katie and Mark jumped up in shock and I smiled and pulled them both up into standing positon. They immediately slumped agaisnt me."Hey! I'm not a wall guys!" I muttered bitterly pushing them off me. "I think you can make it up the stairs on your own."
They sighed and started walking up to their rooms. I turned back to round the four people on the couch who were watching me with a amused look on their faces.
"Well... night then," I smiled at them as they mumbled back their responses. I turned round and stumbled lazily up the stairs on the way I saw light coming under Joeys door. I quietly opened it and smirked at the sight. The t.v was turned off and Joey and Jakob were asleep on the floor. I walked over to Joey and picked him up, I placed him on his bed and pulled the covers over him. Then I walked over to Jakob and picked him up slowly leaving the room so not to wake the sleeping boy. I turned off Joeys light and closed the door. I turned back round to go to Jakes room but instead jumped when I saw Billie behind me. I quickly checked Jake didn't wake up then looked back to Billie.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
"They were both asleep so I put Joey to bed and I'm taking Jakob back to his room." I replied quietly so I wouldn't disturb Jake . Billie smiled widely.. slightly freaking me out.
"You know you really look scary when you do that." I informed him. He chuckled then he suddenly went sad.
"It's going to be quiet without you." He muttered. "And Joey and Jake are really going to miss you." I bit my lip and looked down. Then I nodded and glanced back up.
"I know.. but I knew it was coming I can't stay here." He looked at me sadly before answering.
"Yeah.. I guess."
"Well I should go put Jake to bed," I muttered turning away from the awkward conversation. I was near Jakes door when I remembered something. I swiveled back to face Billie. He was looking down at the ground.
"Billie?" He looked up. "Please don't tell anyone about what I told you at the beach... I mean I've never told anyone apart from Katie and Mark. It's not something I like to share," I said quietly blinking away tears as the memories resurface. He just nodded.
"Okay," He murmured, I smiled weakly at him.
"Thank you." I wiped my eyes with my free hand and took a deep breath before opening Jakobs door and placing him in his bed. Then I left the room and walked to my own bedroom. Collapsing on the bed from being both mentally and physically exhausted. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
*Next morning*
I woke up from someone banging on the door.
"Charlotte! Wake up we've gotta leave in half an hour. Our plane leaves at 12 and its already quarter to 11," Mark shouted, I groaned and got up throwing the door open.
"I'm up, I'm up!" I said sleepily, he smiled.
"Good now get ready.. you got half an hour." Then he turned and went down the stairs. I sighed and closed the door. I went to my suit case where I'd packed all my clothes. I pulled out my black button down shirt and black jeans. I put my hair up and quickly applied eyeliner. I stepped back and looked in the mirror.
I took a deep breath. 'Well this is it'. I thought and grabbed my suitcase. I dragged it out the room and down the stairs, then left it by the front door. I was walking to the kitchen where I knew Mark and Katie were when I stopped by the living room. Billie and Adie were talking to Joey and Jakob. I hid round the corner and listened in.
"What do you mean they're leaving," Joey asked.
"They're going back to there homes...they don't live here," Adie explained.
"But I don't want them to leave," Jake whined making me smile slightly, then frown... I really was going to miss them. I walked to the kitchen and sat next to Mark.
"You were quick," he said with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged.
"I don't need to get dressed up to get on a plane." He laughed and drunk the rest of his drink. Then Billie came in.
"Okay guys, we'll take you to the airport in about 10 minutes," he said quietly. Then Joey and Jakob walked in pouting and sat opposite me and Mark with their arms crossed. Everyone looked at them but their facial expressions refused to change.
"What's up guys?" I asked them. They just pouted more and never answered making me smile despite the situation.
"Come on guys we gotta leave now if you want to catch your flight," Adie sighed throwing three plane tickets on the table. I looked at her confused.
"When did these come," I asked. She just shrugged.
"This morning the airport must have sent them," I nodded. Then we got up and headed to the car. I paused and took a final look at the house before climbing in next to Katie. The whole car ride was silent except for the occasional bikkering from Joey and Jakob. When we arrived me, Katie and Mark grabbed our bags from the boot and I prepared to say my good byes. I knew they couldn't come in the airport as there was a chance of getting chased by fans. I put my bag down and turned to them already feeling my eyes well with tears. Adrienne was already crying and Joey and Jakob were still pouting. I crouched down to there level.
"Are you two going to stay mad at me forevor?" I asked. They looked at me then shook there heads. I smiled and pulled them into a hug.
"Bye guys." I whispered. Then I stood up and looked at Billie and Adie. I first hugged Adie goodbye.
"Bye Adie," I said once again feeling the familiar burning in my eyes. She hugged me tighter and whispered bye. I felt the tears finally drip from my eyes as I pulled away. Then I hugged Billie.
"Remember to keep in touch...you promised," He murmured into my ear. I nodded.
"A promise is a promise," I replied pulling away and wiping my eyes. I took a deep breath and turned round to Mark and Katie picking up my bag as I went. They said there goodbyes then we went, Mark and Katie put their arms around me and we walked into the airport. Pretty soon we were on the plane and this time I wasn't going to get off. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep. I was awoke by some one shaking me.
"Come on Charlotte were here," Katie said. I got up and followed them off the plane, trying to get my vision back from it being temporarily blurred. That's when I realised I must have been crying in my sleep. I sighed and we set off to get out luggage. When we got it I looked around and I immediately spotted my 'mom'. We walked over and I smiled at her.
"Hi did you lot have a nice trip." We nodded and let her lead us to the car. Katie and Mark got in the back and I got in the front seat. We drove to Marks in silence. I helped him with his stuff then gave him a quick hug.
"Remember," he whispered in my ear. "We're here for you." I smiled at him.
"Yeah.. thanks." I turned and got back in the car and we drove once again in silence to Katies. I got out and also helped her with her stuff. "Bye Katie," I said and waved after talking for a couple of minutes and climbed back into the car seat.
"So..." I said attempting to start up conversation. "Is.. erm dad at home?" she sighed.
"Unfortunately yes and I wouldn't talk about Billie Joe or Adrienne or California at all for that matter around him. He's been getting angry and shouting when I bring it up. And you remember what the therepist said..." She trailed off and that when I noticed she had more make up on than usual. I felt the sharp feeling of realization hit me.
"He hit you...didn't he? That's why you're telling me this. 'Cause it's started again," I whispered. My fear for going home rising rapidly. She looked at me and didn't answer but her eyes told me everything.
"I'm just warning you not to get on the wrong side of him," she said and I nodded breathing in deeply to calm my nerves as she pulled into the drive way. I got out and grabbed my stuff and we walked in the house quietly. The moment the door opened my dad's booming voice came throught the doorway. Then he appeared and Mary was right, the cold. harsh look that i'd only seen all those years ago had settled in his eyes, And when he turned them eyes on me I felt fear like never before. Mary noticed and looked over at me.
"Maybe you should go put your stuff away," she said. I nodded taking the hint and running to my room. I immedietly fell face first onto my bed and sighed. I looked at all my posters especially the ones of Green Day. They seemed to have taken a new meaning now. I sighed and rolled of my bed cursing quietly when I landed on my suitcase. Then I grabbed Midnight from it's stand and started strumming some random tunes. I spent the rest of the day and most of the evening watching some t.v and playing some bass. At around 7:30 I heard heavy footsteps getting closer to my room. I put down Midnight as I knew what was coming next. My heart rate increased as the door flew open. And there he was he came towards me red faced with anger.
"I don't know what went on in California or what lies they fed you but don't expect for it ever to happen again. You are never to contact them again and if they try to get in contact you ignore them! Understand me?" He shouted making me wince and unwillingly nod. Looks like my promise to Billie wasn't going to happen after all. Peter glared at me and walked back ut the room leaving me to cry alone.
*Two weeks later*
In the past two weeks the only people I'd spoke to were Mary, Katie and Mark. I stuck to my word and never contacted Billie and Adie no matter how much I wanted to. It was a around 11:30 in the morning and I'd just got up. I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to get a drink. Peter was there sitting at the table reading the paper. He looked over at me.
"Good morning," he grumbled.
"Erm...hi," I stuttered. I turned back to my glass and poured my drink quickly drining it's contents. I was about to leave when he spoke.
"Why don't you call me dad anymore." He questioned rising out of his chair. I froze, he was right I hadn't called him dad since California.
"Erm...I dunno." I tried feeling my blood pulse through my veins faster than it should do as I grew more nervous with each step he took. He stopped infront of me.
"So call me dad," he demanded, backing me against a wall.
"I...I can't," I whispered. His face grew visibly angry as the words left my mouth.
"You what!" he shouted. I knew he could hit me. Mary wasn't there to protect me since she was at work.
"I can't," I said a little louder. His eyes burned into mine and he roughly pushed me towards the stairs.
"You go to your room! And don't you dare come out until you learn respect for your parents!" He boomed making me jump and run towards my room. I quickly closed the door and sat on my bed crying. When was this nightmare going to end. Then I looked towards the phone...
*Billies POV*
I sat at my desk looking through the random papers that had collected there. I had a argument with Adrienne... the 6th one since Charlotte left. I knew it was always me who started them. This is exactly what happened 15 years ago, we nearly split up over it. I was depressed and taking it out on anyone who tried to help. I couldn't believe Charlotte hadn't called when she promised she'd keep in touch. I sighed and stood up from my desk looking in the mirror hung above it taking note of my ruffled appearance. My hair was a mess, my face was pale and I had huge bags under my eyes. I attempted to neaten myselft up but abandoned it when the phone rung. I leant over my dest and picked it up.
"Hello?" I was met with silence.
"Hello..?" I asked. Then I heard something that sounded like crying. I sat up straight when I heard the voice.
"Billie." I stood up.
"Charlotte?!" I asked feeling extremely worried by the fear in her voice.
"He.... It's started. I'm scared...what if he kills me?" She stuttered between tears. I also felt fear as I grew more anxious..
"Wh.. who?" I asked nervously.
"Peter." She replied simply as if even saying his name would cause her harm. I felt red hot anger through my viens.
"Charlotte what's your address?" I asked frantically grabbing for a pen. She told me and I scribbled it down.
"Sit tight Charlotte... I'm coming to you, okay? Just stay out of his way." She started crying again.
"Okay.. Billie I'm scared." I felt my body tense at how scared she was of this man and I also felt tears run down my face.
"I...I know but I promise I'm on the next plane to you, okay?"
"Okay." I put the phone down and grabbed my car keys. I ran to the kitchen to find Adie forgetting the argument. She looked up and noticed my tearstained face and anxious expression.
"Billie what's the matter," she asked.
"Charlotte.. she needs us, I'll explain in the car. Get the boys, we'll drop them off at my moms." She nodded with no further question and went to get the boys while I grabbed mine and Adie's passports. Pretty soon we were on the road as I quickly drove to my mom's house praying that she was in. I got Joey and Jakob out the car and knocked on the front door. My mom answered and looked confused as to why her youngest son and grandsons were at the door.
"What's going on?" she asked letting Joey and Jakob into her house. She knew all about Charlotte and she'd been the only one in he past two weeks who I had told my problems.
"Charlotte rung she's in trouble. Remeber that man I told you about...well she thinks he's going to kill her and we have to go to her. So can you please watch Joey and Jakob till we get back," I rambled. She nodded immediedetly.
"Sure I will... you just go get my grand daughter and bring her to a family who cares." She said. I smiled slightly and ran back to the car and started driving again.
"So tell me what going on," Adie demanded. I quickly told her all about what Charlotte said. She gasped.
"You mean our daughters living with a psycho," she whispered. I nodded.
"Guess so," I muttered taking a left at the lights.
"Where are you going the airports the other way." Adie asked.
"I know.. I'm going to get Mike and Tre. If this man is anything like she said theres no way I could take him alone." I explained. We went to both there houses with both of them agreeing instantly when I explained the situation. Soon we were at the airport I quickly stopped at the desk.
"When's you next flight to New York," I asked. She typed some stuff on her computor.
"The next one leaves in 20 minutes. There's 7 seats left but I'm afraid we only have first class," she said.
"That's fine," I replied pulling out my wallet and paying for them. 30 minutes later we were off on the way to New York...
*Charlotte's POV*
I sat in my room quietly like Billie told me to. I grabbed my Ipod and turned it on in a lame attempt to calm my nerves. Even though I knew Billie and more than likely Mike and Tre were coming, I also knew it would be a while until they got here. I turned off my Ipod and put it away and sat curled up in the corner of my room. Around an hour and a half later the house was still in a eerie silence. That was untill I heard the footsteps coming towards my room. I sat up straight as he opened the door and looked over at me. He slowly walked to me and pulled me into standing position.
"So are you going to call me dad?" He snarled his face so close I could see the anger burning deep in his eyes.
"I...um." That's when I realised although I'd never called Adie or Billie mom or dad, calling Peter dad felt like I was betraying them. And I couldn't do that so instead I shook my head and firmly closed my mouth. Bad choice...he pushed me roughly into the wall I felt my body go numb as my head slammed against it. Then I felt his fist smash into my face and I was vaguley aware of the blood that was soaking my shirt. I slumped to the ground as he continued to hit and kick me, so much that I didn't even feel it anymore. When he was convinced that every part of my body was bruised he stopped and put his face near mine.
"That'll teach you to disobey me," he said kicking me once more in the stomach. I could taste blood in my mouth and I couldn't move at all. I faintly heard him close the door as he left me alone. I knew I was falling into unconsiousnes and then I heard alot of banging on the front door before blacking out completely...
