You'll Be In My Heart, chapter 6
*2 MONTHS LATER*
"Adrienne, I'm going for a walk! I'll be back in a little bit!" I called to my wife upstairs.
"Alright, honey!" She called back.
I grabbed my leather jacket from the coat rack and my black winter hat from the closet. Slipping them on along with my shoes, I
opened the front door and headed outside. I closed the door behind me, breathing in the fresh night air of California. I then started off at a steady pace,
walking down the driveway and heading down the street of our Private Drive. The air was warm, but the cool wind sent chills up and down my spine.
This tingling sensation excited me a lot. I decided to stop at Starbucks for a cup of coffee, which was right around the corner.
As soon as I entered the parking lot of Starbucks, I felt my cell phone vibrate inside my coat pocket. Taking it out, I opened it to a familiar phone
number spread across the screen in big, black letters. I stopped walking.
"Hello?" I asked, although I already knew who it was.
"Billie, man, where are you?!" Mike called rather loudly into the phone. Sometimes I swear Mike barely ever used telephones.
"I'm...in the parking lot of Starbucks..Why?" I asked.
"Meet me at Kaylo's Restaurant, man I gotta talk to you." He sounded almost too serious.
"Why, what's up?" I asked, a little more interested now.
"Just meet me at Kaylo's Restaurant," Mike said.
"Why don't we just meet here at Starbucks? I'm already here," I said.
"Ok, alright, I'll be right there," Mike said.
"Alright man," I said as I hung up.
I sighed, walking over and leaning against a random rusty pole at the edge of the parking lot.
I looked around the quiet parking lot for a moment, thinking of what the situation could possibly be. Probably another song that Mike made up. Mike was a good song writer. I looked up at the night sky. The stars were not visable, for clouds were blocking their bright, shiny powers. For how I longed to be dazzled by their beautiful light. It then hit me...this wasn't right. Why did Mike sound so serious?
I was snapped out of thought, though as the sound of a beat-up engine piled in from the side of me. I looked up abruptly as the car pulled into
a parking lot close to where I was standing. Out came Mike, dressed in a dark blue, fleece-type robe and brown kaki pants. His hair looked utterly
messed and his expression was straight faced. He gestured for me to come with him in his car, not saying a word. No. This definately wasn't a new
song.
I followed Mike, getting into the passenger seat while he got into the driver's seat. The old Fairlane rumbled shakily beneath me. Mike closed his door when he got in. He breathed deeply and slowly in and out of his nose. I looked at him for a moment. Silence. Mike looked back at me. He blinked.
"Mike, man what's wrong?" I asked, deeply concerned.
"Billie... you always tell me that I'm quiet.. and that someday I'll find the words to say when it is time," Mike said. He paused. "And well...
now I think is that time."
There was a long silence. I bit my lip, waiting for a reply. I waited, so impatient for an answer. I peeked down at the ground.
"Billie Joe, Rene'e has Leukemia," Mike said.
I froze. My eyes grew so wide I felt they were going to slide right out of their sockets. I looked right up at Mike. A dangerous stabbing feeling
was what I felt deep down in my heart. I felt a burn behind my eyes, looking down at the ground.
"She's in the L.A. Hospital right now," his shaky voice sounded through out my ears.
"When did you find out?" I asked, choked up.
"Yesterday afternoon..I went to the hospital yesterday becase Estelle wasn't feeling well, and up on this billboard there was these pictures
of kids of who are desperately in need of treatment in the state. There on the wall was...Rene'e's picture.."
I felt a tear suddenly fall down my cheek.
"M-Mike...I was so..mean to her!!!" I finally exclaimed. I buried my face in my hands. Tears suddenly poured out of my eyes.
Mike sat there, staring out through the windshield. For a few moments I sobbed continuously into my sweaty hands.
"Why?...Why do I always lose people of cancer?!! Why?!! It's like a fucking curse!!!!" I yelled, punching the dashboard three times and bawling
into my coat sleeve.
"Wait...wait, wait. She's not dead yet. She's just in the hospital. Billie Joe, you still have another chance to take back everything that caused
her heartbreak! We can go visit her sometime...can't we?" Mike said, excited now, jumping from his seat.
"Mike, I don't even want to see her, man. God will never forgive my fucking ass for this!! Why the fuck was I so mean to her?!?!?! It's all my
fault!!!! It's all my fault!!!!!" I whined, crying once more into my jacket.
"Billie...it's not your fault. It's not my fault. It's not her fault. It's not God's fault. It's no one's fault. You can't blame anybody but the genetic
disorders in which she inherited from her parents," Mike said, rubbing my back and trying to comfort me.
"I know..man...but you..you're just saying that..you don't know how it feels!!" I exclaimed, raising my head to look at him. I spoke quieter now,
"Do you Mikey?"
He sighed. "You're right. I don't. But still. You can't just give up and cry, you gotta keep your chin up. Think of the possible ways that we can
somehow change our guilt to being proud. Just..think, Billie Joe! Think!" Mike exclaimed.
I tried...I really did. But all I could think about was how bad I had hurt her.
"Adrienne, I'm going for a walk! I'll be back in a little bit!" I called to my wife upstairs.
"Alright, honey!" She called back.
I grabbed my leather jacket from the coat rack and my black winter hat from the closet. Slipping them on along with my shoes, I
opened the front door and headed outside. I closed the door behind me, breathing in the fresh night air of California. I then started off at a steady pace,
walking down the driveway and heading down the street of our Private Drive. The air was warm, but the cool wind sent chills up and down my spine.
This tingling sensation excited me a lot. I decided to stop at Starbucks for a cup of coffee, which was right around the corner.
As soon as I entered the parking lot of Starbucks, I felt my cell phone vibrate inside my coat pocket. Taking it out, I opened it to a familiar phone
number spread across the screen in big, black letters. I stopped walking.
"Hello?" I asked, although I already knew who it was.
"Billie, man, where are you?!" Mike called rather loudly into the phone. Sometimes I swear Mike barely ever used telephones.
"I'm...in the parking lot of Starbucks..Why?" I asked.
"Meet me at Kaylo's Restaurant, man I gotta talk to you." He sounded almost too serious.
"Why, what's up?" I asked, a little more interested now.
"Just meet me at Kaylo's Restaurant," Mike said.
"Why don't we just meet here at Starbucks? I'm already here," I said.
"Ok, alright, I'll be right there," Mike said.
"Alright man," I said as I hung up.
I sighed, walking over and leaning against a random rusty pole at the edge of the parking lot.
I looked around the quiet parking lot for a moment, thinking of what the situation could possibly be. Probably another song that Mike made up. Mike was a good song writer. I looked up at the night sky. The stars were not visable, for clouds were blocking their bright, shiny powers. For how I longed to be dazzled by their beautiful light. It then hit me...this wasn't right. Why did Mike sound so serious?
I was snapped out of thought, though as the sound of a beat-up engine piled in from the side of me. I looked up abruptly as the car pulled into
a parking lot close to where I was standing. Out came Mike, dressed in a dark blue, fleece-type robe and brown kaki pants. His hair looked utterly
messed and his expression was straight faced. He gestured for me to come with him in his car, not saying a word. No. This definately wasn't a new
song.
I followed Mike, getting into the passenger seat while he got into the driver's seat. The old Fairlane rumbled shakily beneath me. Mike closed his door when he got in. He breathed deeply and slowly in and out of his nose. I looked at him for a moment. Silence. Mike looked back at me. He blinked.
"Mike, man what's wrong?" I asked, deeply concerned.
"Billie... you always tell me that I'm quiet.. and that someday I'll find the words to say when it is time," Mike said. He paused. "And well...
now I think is that time."
There was a long silence. I bit my lip, waiting for a reply. I waited, so impatient for an answer. I peeked down at the ground.
"Billie Joe, Rene'e has Leukemia," Mike said.
I froze. My eyes grew so wide I felt they were going to slide right out of their sockets. I looked right up at Mike. A dangerous stabbing feeling
was what I felt deep down in my heart. I felt a burn behind my eyes, looking down at the ground.
"She's in the L.A. Hospital right now," his shaky voice sounded through out my ears.
"When did you find out?" I asked, choked up.
"Yesterday afternoon..I went to the hospital yesterday becase Estelle wasn't feeling well, and up on this billboard there was these pictures
of kids of who are desperately in need of treatment in the state. There on the wall was...Rene'e's picture.."
I felt a tear suddenly fall down my cheek.
"M-Mike...I was so..mean to her!!!" I finally exclaimed. I buried my face in my hands. Tears suddenly poured out of my eyes.
Mike sat there, staring out through the windshield. For a few moments I sobbed continuously into my sweaty hands.
"Why?...Why do I always lose people of cancer?!! Why?!! It's like a fucking curse!!!!" I yelled, punching the dashboard three times and bawling
into my coat sleeve.
"Wait...wait, wait. She's not dead yet. She's just in the hospital. Billie Joe, you still have another chance to take back everything that caused
her heartbreak! We can go visit her sometime...can't we?" Mike said, excited now, jumping from his seat.
"Mike, I don't even want to see her, man. God will never forgive my fucking ass for this!! Why the fuck was I so mean to her?!?!?! It's all my
fault!!!! It's all my fault!!!!!" I whined, crying once more into my jacket.
"Billie...it's not your fault. It's not my fault. It's not her fault. It's not God's fault. It's no one's fault. You can't blame anybody but the genetic
disorders in which she inherited from her parents," Mike said, rubbing my back and trying to comfort me.
"I know..man...but you..you're just saying that..you don't know how it feels!!" I exclaimed, raising my head to look at him. I spoke quieter now,
"Do you Mikey?"
He sighed. "You're right. I don't. But still. You can't just give up and cry, you gotta keep your chin up. Think of the possible ways that we can
somehow change our guilt to being proud. Just..think, Billie Joe! Think!" Mike exclaimed.
I tried...I really did. But all I could think about was how bad I had hurt her.
