Your Name In Lights... Or Maybe Just On Bricks, chapter 2
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"Just because we have had 4 gigs in the past week doesn't mean it's time to quite my day job," I said to my boss Carol. She was nice, but she could be a real pain in the ass sometimes too. It was true, though. "What She Said" was getting booked quite a bit and although the money was decent, working at the drug store would have to continue until we got signed.
I gulped. The scene was still very vivid in my mind. The night of "Green Day's" betrayal, or mine- whichever-, stayed with me, along with the guilt. Now here I was, wanting the same thing. It wasn't about the money or the luxury like everyone thought. Now I knew what exactly Billie was thinking about when they got signed. It was all about the music. Sure, all the materialistic things would be nice, no doubt about that, but the music really is all that mattered to me, and them.
Was what happened to them going to happen to us too if we ever got signed to a major label? Was some poor confused girl going to write obscene things upon the wall of the Gilman about me? Were my eyes going to look as sad as Billie's beautiful green...
"Excuse me?"
I felt someone snap at my face as I realized that I had been daydreaming, although the green eyes were very much in front of me... Along with an entire body. O FUCK!
Billie Joe was standing right in front of me. What to say... What to say?!
"I- um- sorry. Can I help you?" Smooth, genius. I stuttered horribly.
He must've still been angry by the way his reply sounded.
"Gee, I don't know. Maybe you could ring me up? That is why you're standing here, right?" If he hadn't been looking right into my eyes I would've winced at the pain those words caused me. They were so harsh, and the worst part was that I didn't even have the heart to say anything obnoxious back. I just stood there, defeated, as I rung up his few groceries.
Finally I looked up.
"Is that all B- Sir?"
Again, he looked me in the eye without breaking his stare. I did all I could to not lower my own eyes.
"I guess it is, isn't it?" He replied, finally unlocking his eyes from mine. More like my soul, I thought. Those green pools were just too beautiful. They really should've been illegal.
I nodded my head like the brainless idiot I was around him before he picked up his sack of random items and walked out. As soon as he left my sight I returned to my regular self and before I could really think properly, I took off my smock and hopped over the counter. I pretty much sprinted to the door, which really wasn't necessary because I about knocked Billie Joe over as soon as I was outside.
"Billie I'm sorry," I blurted before he had time to register what had just happened. Even when he did realize that I was apologizing as best as I could he was still speechless. He opened and closed his mouth about three times before he turned away and started to walk to his car. And again, my mouth and legs started thinking for themselves before I had time to really use my brain.
"Wait, Billie! Please don't leave!" I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. "What are you doing later tonight? Maybe we could do something," Whoa. That was definitely way more than just apologizing, I thought.
He was speechless, again. But this time, I was starting to think that maybe it was a good speechless; maybe a bashful speechless. It was about time anyway. I was sick of being the uncomfortable one.
"I- uh, yeah. Sure, I'm free. What time?" he said, though it wasn't quite the answer I was expecting. So, needless to say, I was very unprepared to answer.
"Tonight? - Oh, wait, of course tonight I mean I... " STUTTER! RETARD! SPEAK LIKE A HUMAN!
Before I made an even more fool of myself, Billie cut me off.
"Wait- just tell me what time you get off work."
"Seven." Yes. Finally something I know the answer to.
"Ok, I'll swing by around then and pick you up here."
"O-ok then. Bye Billie Joe."
"See ya."
***
By the time 7 o'clock rolled around, I was pacing outside, trying to light a cigarette and walk at the same time. I took one puff and I decided it wasn't going to help settle my mind down, so I threw it on the ground and stamped it out.
Finally, I saw Billie's car turn into the parking lot. It was blue. It was old. It was loud, but it was perfect; just perfect for a guy like Billie Joe. I didn't realize I was staring at his car daydreaming until I felt his hand on my arm.
"You ready to go, or do you just wanna picnic out here in the parking lot?" He asked as I wasn't quite out of my space state.
I smiled without looking at him. I turned my head and said, "Actually, a picnic does sound nice. Where are you taking me to?" I was surprised at my new found ability to talk to him without stuttering out of control. I liked it.
"Well I didn't really have a place picked out. I was gonna ask you, but if it's a picnic you want, then it's a picnic you shall receive." He said with a coy smile.
"I'm flattered."
So then we were off. First, we went to a Kroger to pick up fried chicken and other "picnic" food. Then we made our way to the park that was pretty much void of children because it was approaching 8 o'clock. Though, it was August, so the sun was still up, just slowly setting. I'd rather it be a little shady. And chilly. Shady and chilly; the perfect date.
Once we were done eating and the sun was almost gone, I decided to approach the subject that I didn't want to cross with Billie Joe. Nevertheless, I knew I had to. All wasn't forgotten; at least not with me.
"Billie, I- I don't know why I did it. I never wanted to go against you or your friends. I mean, I love you guys. I know it was really selfish, and I know that the Gilman was like your home away from home, and, I mean, it's mostly my doing that you're not welcome there again, but you're always welcome around me and... Well, could you ever forgive me?" Wow. That was a lot for one sentence.
He didn't say anything. I began to think he wasn't going to. Maybe he would just get up and walk away and leave me here. I deserved it anyway. Then he kissed me.
It wasn't a deep kiss- at least not physically deep. Emotionally, it reached all the way down to my toes. It started out soft and pleasant, and then I felt his tongue make its way into my mouth. I didn't object. It was a little awkward- he tasted like fried chicken and fruit punch- but it was still the best kiss I had ever taken part in.
Finally, he pulled back.
"I forgive you." He said, and I smiled sweetly.
Then, he lay down on his back in the grass and pulled me down with him. He held me close to him and we both closed our eyes.
I gulped. The scene was still very vivid in my mind. The night of "Green Day's" betrayal, or mine- whichever-, stayed with me, along with the guilt. Now here I was, wanting the same thing. It wasn't about the money or the luxury like everyone thought. Now I knew what exactly Billie was thinking about when they got signed. It was all about the music. Sure, all the materialistic things would be nice, no doubt about that, but the music really is all that mattered to me, and them.
Was what happened to them going to happen to us too if we ever got signed to a major label? Was some poor confused girl going to write obscene things upon the wall of the Gilman about me? Were my eyes going to look as sad as Billie's beautiful green...
"Excuse me?"
I felt someone snap at my face as I realized that I had been daydreaming, although the green eyes were very much in front of me... Along with an entire body. O FUCK!
Billie Joe was standing right in front of me. What to say... What to say?!
"I- um- sorry. Can I help you?" Smooth, genius. I stuttered horribly.
He must've still been angry by the way his reply sounded.
"Gee, I don't know. Maybe you could ring me up? That is why you're standing here, right?" If he hadn't been looking right into my eyes I would've winced at the pain those words caused me. They were so harsh, and the worst part was that I didn't even have the heart to say anything obnoxious back. I just stood there, defeated, as I rung up his few groceries.
Finally I looked up.
"Is that all B- Sir?"
Again, he looked me in the eye without breaking his stare. I did all I could to not lower my own eyes.
"I guess it is, isn't it?" He replied, finally unlocking his eyes from mine. More like my soul, I thought. Those green pools were just too beautiful. They really should've been illegal.
I nodded my head like the brainless idiot I was around him before he picked up his sack of random items and walked out. As soon as he left my sight I returned to my regular self and before I could really think properly, I took off my smock and hopped over the counter. I pretty much sprinted to the door, which really wasn't necessary because I about knocked Billie Joe over as soon as I was outside.
"Billie I'm sorry," I blurted before he had time to register what had just happened. Even when he did realize that I was apologizing as best as I could he was still speechless. He opened and closed his mouth about three times before he turned away and started to walk to his car. And again, my mouth and legs started thinking for themselves before I had time to really use my brain.
"Wait, Billie! Please don't leave!" I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. "What are you doing later tonight? Maybe we could do something," Whoa. That was definitely way more than just apologizing, I thought.
He was speechless, again. But this time, I was starting to think that maybe it was a good speechless; maybe a bashful speechless. It was about time anyway. I was sick of being the uncomfortable one.
"I- uh, yeah. Sure, I'm free. What time?" he said, though it wasn't quite the answer I was expecting. So, needless to say, I was very unprepared to answer.
"Tonight? - Oh, wait, of course tonight I mean I... " STUTTER! RETARD! SPEAK LIKE A HUMAN!
Before I made an even more fool of myself, Billie cut me off.
"Wait- just tell me what time you get off work."
"Seven." Yes. Finally something I know the answer to.
"Ok, I'll swing by around then and pick you up here."
"O-ok then. Bye Billie Joe."
"See ya."
***
By the time 7 o'clock rolled around, I was pacing outside, trying to light a cigarette and walk at the same time. I took one puff and I decided it wasn't going to help settle my mind down, so I threw it on the ground and stamped it out.
Finally, I saw Billie's car turn into the parking lot. It was blue. It was old. It was loud, but it was perfect; just perfect for a guy like Billie Joe. I didn't realize I was staring at his car daydreaming until I felt his hand on my arm.
"You ready to go, or do you just wanna picnic out here in the parking lot?" He asked as I wasn't quite out of my space state.
I smiled without looking at him. I turned my head and said, "Actually, a picnic does sound nice. Where are you taking me to?" I was surprised at my new found ability to talk to him without stuttering out of control. I liked it.
"Well I didn't really have a place picked out. I was gonna ask you, but if it's a picnic you want, then it's a picnic you shall receive." He said with a coy smile.
"I'm flattered."
So then we were off. First, we went to a Kroger to pick up fried chicken and other "picnic" food. Then we made our way to the park that was pretty much void of children because it was approaching 8 o'clock. Though, it was August, so the sun was still up, just slowly setting. I'd rather it be a little shady. And chilly. Shady and chilly; the perfect date.
Once we were done eating and the sun was almost gone, I decided to approach the subject that I didn't want to cross with Billie Joe. Nevertheless, I knew I had to. All wasn't forgotten; at least not with me.
"Billie, I- I don't know why I did it. I never wanted to go against you or your friends. I mean, I love you guys. I know it was really selfish, and I know that the Gilman was like your home away from home, and, I mean, it's mostly my doing that you're not welcome there again, but you're always welcome around me and... Well, could you ever forgive me?" Wow. That was a lot for one sentence.
He didn't say anything. I began to think he wasn't going to. Maybe he would just get up and walk away and leave me here. I deserved it anyway. Then he kissed me.
It wasn't a deep kiss- at least not physically deep. Emotionally, it reached all the way down to my toes. It started out soft and pleasant, and then I felt his tongue make its way into my mouth. I didn't object. It was a little awkward- he tasted like fried chicken and fruit punch- but it was still the best kiss I had ever taken part in.
Finally, he pulled back.
"I forgive you." He said, and I smiled sweetly.
Then, he lay down on his back in the grass and pulled me down with him. He held me close to him and we both closed our eyes.
