Your Name In Lights... Or Maybe Just On Bricks, chapter 3

It had been a couple of weeks since Billie Joe and I had been on our picnic, and I still hadn't told my fellow band members. I wasn't sure how they'd feel about it. All of us thrived on Green Day and their music, and when they "betrayed" the Gilman, we all had mixed feelings. Of course, with me taking charge of something I didn't believe in, everyone else felt compelled to follow or lose a stage.
I knew somehow that Jen and Katelyn were skeptical of whether or not Billie Joe, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool had actually done something wrong. I could always tell from the night I had "decorated" the wall. No one had really talked about it that night, and everyone still refrained from doing so. Still, I could always tell by the tone in Jen or Katelyn's voice when I said even one word about Green Day.
As for Anna and Darien, I hadn't much of a clue. I also didn't care much. This seemed to be the kind of sticky topic that I didn't want the band to get mixed up in and separated. I just kept my mouth shut and that was it.
We had a gig at a club in a different part of town than the Gilman. As we were setting up, Katelyn came over and started talking to me about how the place she gets her picks at raised prices. It was pretty random, so I knew there was something else on her mind.
"I know you and Billie Joe are dating. I saw you two at Burger King last night," she said, out of nowhere.
I stopped and looked at her, not even trying to hide it anymore. I must've made a pleading look, because she told me she was ok with it.
"It doesn't bother me. I...never really hated them. I just said I did; I guess just like you. I won't tell anyone, though. But just do me a favor?"
I knew what she was going to ask, but I still nodded yes.
"Just don't let it leak out...I'm not ready to be banished from our main stage. I mean, we all want to get signed, but until we do, we NEED the Gilman. Just keep it under wraps, if you could," she said like a friend- as nice as she could be, but still not beating around the bush.
"Don't worry. I will. I've given it a lot of thought...and maybe I should just break it off with him-" she cut me off.
"Don't give up on something 'cuz of what someone else said. I mean...if you really care about him, do what you like. Just please, PLEASE don't let it interfere with the band." She looked me straight in the eye.
"I won't. I just need some time to think. Let's just rock the hell out of this place for the time being," I said, smiling.
"Yeah...everyone's going to be here. Even Connor," she blushed as she spoke.
Connor was a friend of a couple of friends. Katelyn liked to deny it some, but everyone knew that she really liked him. Not to mention, Connor liked her as well.
"Oooo, Connor," I teased, and then ran out of the back room as she tried to throw some old, dirty rags at me.

When I was out I felt great. It wasn't as hazy and "liquor-fied" as Gilman, but there was still a strong cloud of cigarette smoke. It just felt right. This was the perfect atmosphere for some good punk rock.
Out of nowhere I felt hands squeeze my waist in an attempt to tickle me, even though everyone knew that that specific method didn't work on me. I knew it was Darien right away, though. He did it often.
I casually turned around to see my band mate who was already a bit trashed.
"What are you doing? You know that doesn't work on me."
He shrugged.
"So? It's just because you're a guy...and guys aren't ticklish," he said. I was used to it. He'd been saying stuff like that ever since 7th grade. We just messed around a lot. But...ever since 8th grade I had a comeback. He just didn't seem to care.
"Hmmm... Is that why you went out with me?"
"Yes, yes actually. It is," he said and ran off, clearly defeated.
We dated in high school and broke up in about a week...it just wasn't there. But, besides that, we were great friends. He dated sluts, I never had dates, and we joked about each other. It was a love-hate relationship.

So we went on. We played... Who am I kidding? We rocked! It was a great show and it was time to party.
We were sitting in a back table, I was having a smoke, along with Darien, and everyone was laughing, and having a great time. Then Billie walked in.
It was immense silence as he walked up and smiled at me. It was a slow train wreck, but at the same time I loved it. He didn't care that everyone was secretly wondering what a loser he was and why such a sellout was coming near us.
Katelyn shot me a look from across the table that was clearly saying: go get your boyfriend out of here before WWIII threatens to tear our band apart.
I was about to get up, but Travis beat me to it. As far as I was concerned, he was the only one who was very clear on how he felt about Green Day. Not even Darien, who was by far the most outspoken and loudest of all of us, stayed silent and for once thought about what his next move was.
"What are you doing here? No one here wants to talk to you...like at all," he said with the Travis-ness talk that was full of smart-alecky goodness.
Billie- who seemed not to notice him until now- turned and looked him straight in the eye.
"Well...seeing as how it's a free country, and you're not even in the band I'm trying to congratulate, I can't say I care much. Hey, Julie."
Travis immediately turned his head to look right at me, confused, but expecting me to be a jerk.
"Heh- hey, Billie," I said and got up and let him give me a peck on the cheek. "Can I talk to you outside?"
"Sure."
I looked back at Katelyn, but she wouldn't meet my eyes- unlike everyone else. I received glares from some and pure confusion and betrayal from others.
Travis shook his head.
"Psht. Stay as long as you like," and he went back to his drink and whatever conversation he was having with Jen. She didn't seem all that interested in it now, though.

"What was that all about?" Billie asked as soon as we were outside.
I took a deep breath and made a decision right then that had been dwelling on my mind for weeks now.
"Bill... you know I don't think you betrayed your friends, and you know my band wants to get signed as much as you guys did, and we'll probably meet the same sticky end here as you guys, but-"
"But what?" he interrupted me. He was starting to look angry.
"But for now," I continued, "we still need all the help we can get...and that means that-that we can't get caught together, you and me."
It took him a minute to register what I had just said.
"So...so you're ashamed of me?"
I shook my head and looked him in the eyes.
"Never. I just don't think it's good for my band if you and I continue seeing each other. And it's not just because of what just happened in there...I've been thinking about this for awhile now."
There was silence for a minute and tears burned my eyes. Finally he looked up at me.
"Someday, you'll learn that your band isn't everything, Julie. I hope you will, at least. You shouldn't care what people here think. They're not what gets you there. YOU get YOU there. But no, that's fine with me. Get signed, become famous-I'll see you on MTV," he finally replied solemnly. I was crying. Tears streamed slowly down my face.
He began to walk away, and I didn't follow him. It was me who wanted this anyway. There was no turning back now- for me, or him.
"I... I'm sorry, Billie Joe," and that was all that left my lips. There was nothing more.
I went back inside, and drunk the night away, pretending nothing had happened.