Your Name In Lights... Or Maybe Just On Bricks, chapter 5
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"FUCK! OUCH!" someone was slicing my leg open, I swear.
Well, that wasn't quite the truth. I looked down and Billie Joe was sitting over my leg putting a bandage on it. Thankfully, there was no more blood.
"Hold still," he said, not even looking at me.
I laid my head back on the pillow I was supplied and closed my eyes, ignoring the pain.
"This is the second time today that I've woken up in someone else's bed," I laughed as I tried to make small talk. He didn't answer. Well, I guess that answered the question if he was still mad at me, even though I was injured. I couldn't say I blamed him, though...
It was quiet, and he could sense the tenseness in the room. I guess that's why he spoke.
"Actually, you're in the same apartment. I carried you back up the hill, only I went around the wicker bushes."
I opened my eyes again and looked around. I was on a couch. The same couch I wanted to try to sit & smoke on earlier that day.
"What time is it?"
"Ten 'till nine. You weren't out too long."
"Oh...good."
It was tenser than the last pitch of the World Series. I felt his hands leave my leg and I leaned up to see him. He was gathering the trash from the bandage wrappers and getting ready to leave.
"Hey, are you in a hurry?" I asked, not really knowing what he was going to say.
"Why do you care?" Ouch. As hostile as should be expected, I suppose.
"Well, I was wondering if we could talk. I mean... I meant what I said. I don't want to end like this. With our careers, you never know when we'll see each other again...if we even ever do."
This seemed to weigh heavily on his mind. Finally, he stopped fidgeting and answered me.
"You gotta smoke?" Of course. The way to a man's heart: cigarettes. I smiled, grateful to have his compliance.
"Yeah. Let's go outside. It doesn't smell so bad."
I led him out onto the small porch I had been earlier this morning. I tried not to put too much wait on my leg as I walked. I gave him a cigarette, but decided I didn't really want one at the moment. I also didn't want to talk about what we really needed to talk about.
He looked up at me; he didn't look away. I couldn't take his eyes staring me down like that. For once, I looked away. I looked down and fidgeted with my fingers a bit.
"Um... me and you--we...we're gonna be ok, right? I mean," and I looked back up at him, "I don't want to stay mad forever." He seemed to leave the trance he was in.
"Yeah... yeah, I guess. I don't really want to stop talking to you; I don't want to lose you, even if it's just as a friend."
I looked at him, but he was staring out onto the ocean, not really paying attention to it. I smiled.
"Thanks, Billie Joe. I mean...I didn't either." I finally lit up a cigarette after knowing that things would be ok...at least for a little bit, anyway.
"So, do you always take walks on the beach in the morning?" I changed the subject.
"Nah. Only when I'm trying to get somewhere. I like to cut through there if it's possible. I like it there. At least, when I'm not bombarded by some girl all bloody and fainting," he said, with a smile- which was a very good sign.
"Hey, I got your attention, didn't I?" I smiled back.
"You didn't have to slice your leg open to do that," he said, but with a seriousness in his eye that I had never seen before. I couldn't deny it. I was caught up in a moment. This moment- keep in mind- is supposed to solve this little problem we were having.
I kissed him.
He kissed me.
But I kept kissing him.
Finally, we pulled apart. It wasn't even rushed, because the realization of what we just did didn't hit us until after the kiss. And we weren't ashamed. Sure- we knew that something here had to change, but for the moment, we didn't care.
We would've stood there staring for the rest of the day, but the back door opened. An EXTREMEMLY tired Katelyn walked out. You could tell she just woke up. Not to mention - apart from the tiredness - she looked a bit angry. This was bad.
She smiled as she saw Billie and me, but her eyes came to me, and she didn't even acknowledge Billie Joe anymore.
"I need to talk to you; now."
***
I knew it. Billie Joe was the wrong choice. I should've forgotten all about him.
So there we were, standing outside the Gilman on a Friday night. Keep in mind I said outside. Yeah.
You guessed it: we were officially banned from center stage. So we stood there, pissed off, bored, with nowhere to go. If I had been on my own, there's no denying I would've cried. This was my dream- this was our dream- and it was gone. The Gilman was our ticket, and frankly, we hadn't fully cashed it yet. We didn't have any offers for any deals at all. And now, we probably weren't going to get one.
Guess whose fault it was.
Yep. Mine.
It just so happened that the kiss was not only experienced by Billie Joe and me, but it was also seen by many faces that had woken up from their drunken slumber. The people that cheered for me the night before. The people that were supposed to be my friends.
Yeah right.
So because of all that- yes for that ridiculous reason- our band- What She Said- was banned from The Gilman forever more. Again, all because of me. And don't think that even some of my band members weren't going to let me forget it either.
Darien kicked the tire of the van we had driven there.
"Dammit, Julie. Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut? Literally- why'd you have to open your mouth?"
"Lay off, Darien," Jen spoke up. Thank you. Really. "We're all pissed, so just stop."
"Yeah," Katelyn finally said something. She'd been quiet all night. I knew it hit her the hardest. This was more her dream than mine after all. I mean, I had my writing to fall back on. Originally, I wanted to be a journalist. But her, this was always her dream; her dream, which I think I just crushed.
I laid my hand on her shoulder, but I don't think she really cared. But still, she needed the comforting more than I did, no doubt. She just walked away anyway.
"Dude. Saying anything about Julie isn't going to help at all," and now we heard from Anna. "She's our friend, remember? I know we're more her friends than half the people in there. So, I say we discuss this tomorrow and right now just go get some food. I'm freaking starving."
I liked how Anna could turn something around so easily without making it real obvious. That was just how she was. So now, thanks to her, this conversation would be left for another day.
Well, that wasn't quite the truth. I looked down and Billie Joe was sitting over my leg putting a bandage on it. Thankfully, there was no more blood.
"Hold still," he said, not even looking at me.
I laid my head back on the pillow I was supplied and closed my eyes, ignoring the pain.
"This is the second time today that I've woken up in someone else's bed," I laughed as I tried to make small talk. He didn't answer. Well, I guess that answered the question if he was still mad at me, even though I was injured. I couldn't say I blamed him, though...
It was quiet, and he could sense the tenseness in the room. I guess that's why he spoke.
"Actually, you're in the same apartment. I carried you back up the hill, only I went around the wicker bushes."
I opened my eyes again and looked around. I was on a couch. The same couch I wanted to try to sit & smoke on earlier that day.
"What time is it?"
"Ten 'till nine. You weren't out too long."
"Oh...good."
It was tenser than the last pitch of the World Series. I felt his hands leave my leg and I leaned up to see him. He was gathering the trash from the bandage wrappers and getting ready to leave.
"Hey, are you in a hurry?" I asked, not really knowing what he was going to say.
"Why do you care?" Ouch. As hostile as should be expected, I suppose.
"Well, I was wondering if we could talk. I mean... I meant what I said. I don't want to end like this. With our careers, you never know when we'll see each other again...if we even ever do."
This seemed to weigh heavily on his mind. Finally, he stopped fidgeting and answered me.
"You gotta smoke?" Of course. The way to a man's heart: cigarettes. I smiled, grateful to have his compliance.
"Yeah. Let's go outside. It doesn't smell so bad."
I led him out onto the small porch I had been earlier this morning. I tried not to put too much wait on my leg as I walked. I gave him a cigarette, but decided I didn't really want one at the moment. I also didn't want to talk about what we really needed to talk about.
He looked up at me; he didn't look away. I couldn't take his eyes staring me down like that. For once, I looked away. I looked down and fidgeted with my fingers a bit.
"Um... me and you--we...we're gonna be ok, right? I mean," and I looked back up at him, "I don't want to stay mad forever." He seemed to leave the trance he was in.
"Yeah... yeah, I guess. I don't really want to stop talking to you; I don't want to lose you, even if it's just as a friend."
I looked at him, but he was staring out onto the ocean, not really paying attention to it. I smiled.
"Thanks, Billie Joe. I mean...I didn't either." I finally lit up a cigarette after knowing that things would be ok...at least for a little bit, anyway.
"So, do you always take walks on the beach in the morning?" I changed the subject.
"Nah. Only when I'm trying to get somewhere. I like to cut through there if it's possible. I like it there. At least, when I'm not bombarded by some girl all bloody and fainting," he said, with a smile- which was a very good sign.
"Hey, I got your attention, didn't I?" I smiled back.
"You didn't have to slice your leg open to do that," he said, but with a seriousness in his eye that I had never seen before. I couldn't deny it. I was caught up in a moment. This moment- keep in mind- is supposed to solve this little problem we were having.
I kissed him.
He kissed me.
But I kept kissing him.
Finally, we pulled apart. It wasn't even rushed, because the realization of what we just did didn't hit us until after the kiss. And we weren't ashamed. Sure- we knew that something here had to change, but for the moment, we didn't care.
We would've stood there staring for the rest of the day, but the back door opened. An EXTREMEMLY tired Katelyn walked out. You could tell she just woke up. Not to mention - apart from the tiredness - she looked a bit angry. This was bad.
She smiled as she saw Billie and me, but her eyes came to me, and she didn't even acknowledge Billie Joe anymore.
"I need to talk to you; now."
***
I knew it. Billie Joe was the wrong choice. I should've forgotten all about him.
So there we were, standing outside the Gilman on a Friday night. Keep in mind I said outside. Yeah.
You guessed it: we were officially banned from center stage. So we stood there, pissed off, bored, with nowhere to go. If I had been on my own, there's no denying I would've cried. This was my dream- this was our dream- and it was gone. The Gilman was our ticket, and frankly, we hadn't fully cashed it yet. We didn't have any offers for any deals at all. And now, we probably weren't going to get one.
Guess whose fault it was.
Yep. Mine.
It just so happened that the kiss was not only experienced by Billie Joe and me, but it was also seen by many faces that had woken up from their drunken slumber. The people that cheered for me the night before. The people that were supposed to be my friends.
Yeah right.
So because of all that- yes for that ridiculous reason- our band- What She Said- was banned from The Gilman forever more. Again, all because of me. And don't think that even some of my band members weren't going to let me forget it either.
Darien kicked the tire of the van we had driven there.
"Dammit, Julie. Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut? Literally- why'd you have to open your mouth?"
"Lay off, Darien," Jen spoke up. Thank you. Really. "We're all pissed, so just stop."
"Yeah," Katelyn finally said something. She'd been quiet all night. I knew it hit her the hardest. This was more her dream than mine after all. I mean, I had my writing to fall back on. Originally, I wanted to be a journalist. But her, this was always her dream; her dream, which I think I just crushed.
I laid my hand on her shoulder, but I don't think she really cared. But still, she needed the comforting more than I did, no doubt. She just walked away anyway.
"Dude. Saying anything about Julie isn't going to help at all," and now we heard from Anna. "She's our friend, remember? I know we're more her friends than half the people in there. So, I say we discuss this tomorrow and right now just go get some food. I'm freaking starving."
I liked how Anna could turn something around so easily without making it real obvious. That was just how she was. So now, thanks to her, this conversation would be left for another day.
