I Was There, chapter 9

Mike drove me home that day. All the way home I cried. Tre was holding my hair back from the car window. I couldn't stop vomiting.

I wasn't going to see Billie Joe for five months. I couldn't live. Tre huddled up to me on the back seat trying to comfort me. I tried to make myself feel better by thinking I wasn't going to be abused anymore but I kept thinking negative thoughts.

The sun shone on the back seat of the car. I patted the empty seat between Tre and me. I had visions of Billie Joe sat there and I reached out. Tre grabbed my hand and put it on the seat stroking it slightly. My bottom lip quavered and I cried again.

I looked up to see Mike's young eyes in the mirror. A single tear fell down his face. I didn't know if it was because of Billie or me. It was probably Billie.

We drove along cliff tops overlooking the beach where we went a few weeks ago. All the way home I could feel Tre staring at me. I glanced at him a few times and he looked away sharply. I started to hum their new song 'Longview'. My voice trembled while humming and Tre winced at the side of me. I started to shake and he held my hand firmly.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" I screamed.

I undid my seat belt and opened the car door while the car was still moving. I jumped out fast before Tre could get me.

I bounced on the road and rolled a bit. I felt blood pour out of my nose. I held it wiping the blood on the dry road. I saw the car drive off then I heard a skid. I pushed myself up with one hand. I looked for my other one. It wasn't there. I looked below me it wasn't there. I looked at the side of me. It was bent backwards. I screamed with pain as I snapped it back.

I heard heavy footsteps and I ran. I clutched my arm trying to find somewhere where nobody could see me. I dove into a bush holding my broken arm. I peered out seeing Mike and Tre's converse run by.

"Where is she?" I heard Mike say.

"I don't know. AWW FUCK! Billie is so gonna kill us!" I heard Tre yell.

I felt bad. I wanted to end it now. I ran out of the bush and ran straight past them. Mike turned around sharply. I headed straight for the cliff.

"Steph NOOOOO!!!" Mike screamed. Tre ran after me. I jumped. I was being held in mid air.

"Tre drop me now!" I screamed trying to wriggle my way out of his grasp.

I screamed with the pain of my arm. I turned around. I looked at Tre with evil eyes. He had his eyes closed shut so tightly. I stopped wriggling and relaxed. I looked down at where I was going to jump.

"OH FUCKING HELL!!!!" I yelled. "TRE LET ME DOWN ON THE FLOOR!"

"With pleasure" he put me back on the floor and huddled up to me.

"You're over reacting Steph! Five months isn't long at all! He'll be out soon!" Mike said joining in with the hug.

"OUCH! I know it isn't long but it seems it to me. Five months with no Billie Joe!" I said rubbing my lifeless arm.

"What have you done?" Mike said looking at my arm.

"Broke it when I jumped out of the car" I replied wincing.

"Oooh nice!" Tre laughed poking at it. I screamed out and punched him softly in the stomach.

He laughed again and rubbed it. Mike took off his jacket and made a sling.

"Come on We'll drive you to the hospital" Mike said.

"God I'm sick of that place!" I yelled rolling my eyes.

I sat in the back seat of the car while Tre put the child locks on the car doors.

"I'm no child!" I protested.

"Yeah well we have to keep you safe till the five months are over then your Billie's responsibility." Tre laughed.

I felt like a little kid. I felt so stupid being under Mike and Tre's watch all the time now.

Mike walked me into the hospital and they gave me a proper sling and a cast for my arm. Tre laughed at me when I walked into the waiting room.

"Can I tap it?" he asked still laughing.

"Knock yourself out literally." I laughed. Mike laughed along and ruffled my hair.

"Come on Steph... lets take you home" Mike said.

We pulled up in the drive way and the house looked ghostly. I couldn't go in there by myself, especially with no Billie. Ryan was killed in there. Tre helped me out of the car and opened the door to Billie's house.

"What's wrong?" Tre asked stroking my arm.

"I'm scared"

"There's no Ryan now though!" Mike called.

"But he died in there" I whimpered.

"Are you expecting us to move in for 5 months?!" Tre asked getting excited.

"Actually can I move in with one of you guys just for 5 months?" I pleaded.

"ME PICK ME!" Tre yelled sticking his arm in the air jumping up and down.

"Me and Tre roomies!" I yelled slapping his hand. "Help me pack guys!"

I packed the essentials and a few clothes. I grabbed Billie Joe's duvet and a couple of his t-shirts that smelt strongly of him.

We drove to Tre's house and Mike headed for his home. I walked in Tre's room and instead of broken plectrums there were snapped drumsticks spread across the floor. Tre had bunk beds.

"I'm having top!" he yelled jumping up to it.

I laughed and spread Billie's covers over the bottom bunk. I took off my clothes leaving just my underwear on. I put one of Billie's t-shirts over me. It smelt so strongly of him. Tre reappeared from behind his hands. I told him to not look when I was changing.

Tre sat at his drum kit and started to whack it insanely. He kicked down the symbols and chucked his drumsticks in the air. I laughed picking up the symbols and drumsticks. I held them and hit at the drum kit. He taught me many drum things that night but it was hard to play with one hand.

I moved off the stool and lay in Tre's bed. He tucked me in and jumped on his top bunk.

"Nighty night dominated love slave!" Tre yelled.

"Nighty night Frank Edwin Wright III!" I laughed. He chucked something at me and laughed and fell to sleep instantly. I laughed at his snores, clutched onto Billie's bed sheets and smelt his t-shirt.

"Night night Billie Joe" I whispered and fell to sleep.

I woke up the next day and walked downstairs. Tre was sat in the kitchen.

"Want a donut?" Tre asked taking a huge bite out of one of them.

"Sure" I laughed picking one up and biting it. I spat it back out and ran to the sink. I was sick again.

"Whoa what's wrong!" Tre asked.

"I can't eat anything. I feel sick... I miss Billie Joe"

"Aww he'll be out soon!" Tre said scoffing down more donuts.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Tre yelled. "It's for you Steph"

I ran to the door and opened it. It was Ryan's mum.

"I came to tell you that Ryan's funeral is tomorrow and it's back in England" she sighed.

"Oh well would you want me to be there?" I asked feeling nervous.

"Well yes I would. You can fly back with me if you like."

"Of course I'll come let me pack a few things and tell Tre." I said walking inside. "Come in if you like" Ryan's mum followed me inside as I walked in the kitchen.

"So what's up?" Tre asked anxiously.

"I'm going to England for Ryan's funeral." I sighed.

"You're leaving me!" he yelled.

"Well I kind of have to Tre I need to say goodbye," I whispered.

"Well I'm coming with you!"

"Is it ok if Tre comes with me?" I asked Ryan's mum.

"I suppose" she sighed tears falling down her cheek.

We grabbed some stuff that we needed and put in a suitcase.

We drove to the airport and got on the plane. I sighed as it flew across the ocean. I missed Billie. I would kill for him to be with me now sitting next to me kissing me softly.

Tre brought his drumsticks and was pounding on the seat in front of him.

"Will you please stop that!!!" a man yelled as Tre hit the seat hard.

"Of course sir" Tre said in a posh voice. I couldn't help laugh. He hit it again hard and the man turned around sharply again and glared at Tre.

"Hello sexy" Tre said in the posh voice again. I burst out laughing.

"Tell your friend to shut her big mouth!" the man yelled.

"Excuse me! Come on let's go right here!" I yelled standing up.

Tre pulled me down and hugged me calm.

"Bastard" I muttered. Tre chuckled.

I looked back in the sky and looked at the clouds. I started to see shapes form. I swear I saw one like Billie and this made me sob. Tre put his arm around me and comforted me.

We reached England the next day. Ryan's funeral was in a few hours.

Tre and me checked into a hotel room and got changed smartly. I wore a black dress and Tre wore a black suit.

We got a taxi and it drove us to the church were it was being held. I walked inside shaking. I saw a lot of my friends that I had left to be with Billie. They all walked over to me hugging me.

"We heard about the stabbing!" they shrieked hugging me. "Are you ok? What's happened to your arm? Ooh we heard about your relationship with Billie Joe Armstrong" they kept gossiping and hugging me.

Tre chuckled and they looked up.

"TRE COOL!!!" they shrieked.

"Hey ladies!" he winked.

"So tell us Steph what's going out with Billie Joe like?"

"It's amazing" I sighed. "And the sex... incredible!!!" I laughed.

They all shrieked with excitement.

"Your first time was with Billie Joe! You lucky bitch!" they laughed.

I started to realise that this wasn't the time to be discussing Billie's and my relationship. I hugged them all and then dragged Tre to a seat.

"So is Billie good in bed?!" Tre asked eagerly.

"Tre this isn't the place!" I laughed.

"Well is he?"

"Yup he's the best!" I laughed. Tre laughed to.

"I'll tell him that! He was worrying that he wasn't good enough!"

"Aww! Well you can tell him I almost died from pleasure! But now Tre shh it's starting" I whispered stroking my arm.

Music started playing and the doors at the back opened. Everybody stood. People were carrying Ryan's coffin down the aisle. I started to cry a little. It was too much. Tre stroked my arm slowly. They got to the front with the coffin and laid it down at the front.

I cried all the way through the funeral. But the worst bit was when they were burying him.

We all walked to the graveyard. Tre had his arm wrapped around me. We got to the empty grave and the people with the coffin carried it and put it down. The vicar said a few more words and the coffin was lowered down into the ground.

"Bye Ryan" I choked.

"Bye Bastard!" Tre whispered.

I nudged him to be quiet as people looked up. I said bye to my friends and told them I was living in America from now on. There were a few tears and I managed to drag myself away.

Tre called for a taxi and we got back to the hotel. I lay on the bed while Tre lay on the sofa.

"So tell me more about sex with Billie!" Tre said raising his eyebrows.

"Tre why do you want to know?!" I laughed.

"Come on tell me, is he bad? He is isn't he!"

"No Tre! He's well ... oh god he's amazing! I've never had so much pleasure!" I groaned as Tre's eyes widened.

"Ha ho!" Tre yelled as I lay back with my hands behind my head.

"I miss him Tre" I choked.

"Come here" Tre moved over and hugged me tight. I rested my weeping eyes on his shoulder.

He rubbed my back and squeezed me once more and let me go.

"God five months is going to go so slowly!" I whispered.

"It won't come on lets get a plane home tonight" Tre persuaded me.

We packed and got a taxi to the airport. We were there for a couple of hours waiting for our flight. People harassed Tre for autographs and he was shattered by the time his fans had gone. He put an arm around me and rested his head on mine.

"I wish Billie was here" I sulked.

"Oooh what would you be doing?!" he asked eagerly.

"You know what we'd be doing Tre, cuddling!" I laughed.

Our flight flashed on the board and we got up and walked onto the plane.

"Don't get the drumsticks out again!" I laughed.

"I'll get one out!" he winked unzipping his trousers.

"TRE! Don't you dare!" I screamed shielding my eyes. An airhostess walked up to Tre and me.

"Excuse me madam will you please keep the noise down and Sir, please put that away!" She said looking at Tre's crotch.

She walked away and I laughed at the looked on his face.

"Right see you in about erm ten minutes!" Tre said unbuckling his seatbelt and getting up.

"Where are you going!"

"To get laid!" he said running to find the airhostess.

I laughed and looked out of the window.

I watched the sun fall behind the clouds as the sky turned orange. I sighed thinking of Billie Joe and wondered what he was doing this very moment. I picked the plectrum out of my pocket that I picked off Billie's floor. I squeezed it tightly and kissed it. After a few minutes Tre sat back down next to me with a red face and scruffy hair. I ran my fingers through it and laughed. He zipped his trousers back up and lay back panting.

"So you got laid then?!" I laughed.

"Hell yes! And now I'm tired." He said closing his eyes.

"I love you Billie Joe" I whispered looking into the sky.

"What was that?" Tre asked.

"I was just saying that I loved Billie Joe" I sighed.

"Do you really love him?"

"Of course I do. I really really do. Oh my god I love him!" I said starting to shout.

"Shhhh!" Tre whispered harshly.

"Sorry" I giggled and Tre kissed my head and I fell to sleep.

We arrived back home the next day.

Tre and me decided we wanted to see Mike.

"Come in!" he shouted as we knocked on the door.

Tre led me to his room. We found his with a bass in his arms and drinking a cup of coffee.

"How was the funeral?" he asked taking a sip.

"It was ok apart from Tre calling him a bastard when he was being buried" I growled glaring at Tre.

"He is one though!" Tre yelled.

Mike and me rolled our eyes and he began to pluck at his bass.

"I went to visit Billie today. He misses you terribly," Mike said still plucking.

"You went to see him!" I said looking up.

"Yeah, he's doing fine. He wants you to visit him!"

"I want to visit him! Tre can we please!!!"

"Yeah but wait a few months then he will be really badly wanting you keep him keen!" Tre laughed.

"Ahh good idea!" I laughed to although I was unsure.

***

A few months later Tre agreed to take me to see Billie. I couldn't wait! I wore one of his tops and some jeans and the usual converse. I sat in Tre's car waiting for him to get dressed.

I hit the horn hard with frustration. I heard tre scream.

"TRE WILL YOU HURRY UP!!!!" I screamed.

"Yeah I'm coming calm down!" he screamed back.

"Stupid Tre Cool" I muttered kicking the car and hitting the horn more with my head.

The car door opened and Tre sat down looking at me banging my head on the wheel.

"Can I drive please!" Tre said chucking me out of the way.

"HEY!!!" I yelled.

"Do you want to see Billie or not!" he yelled.

"I'll be good" I sat back in the chair and sulked. He laughed and drove to the prison.

I ran inside the dull building with chipped stonewalls and black bars everywhere.

Tre grabbed my hand and pulled me into the visitors bit.

I looked around the room were there were people with their families.

Tre pointed somewhere I followed his gaze to see a very skinny Billie Joe with a sad look on his face. He didn't know we were going to be visiting him.

"I've got an idea I'll go in first then you come in it'll make him die with excitement!" Tre yelled.

"Yeah ok!" I laughed.

I hid around the corner of the door and watched Tre go up to Billie. They hugged and started to talk. Billie still looked sad.

Tre gave me a signal and I walked in the room. The smile on Tre's face was so wide it was scary.

"Tre what the hell are you smiling... " Billie looked up at me.

His smile was wider than Tre's.

"Hello Billie Joe" I smiled.

He leapt up and ran to me. He lifted me up and spun me around. I laughed and snuggled into his shirt.

"FUCKING HELL I'VE FUCKING MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!" he screamed tears spurting out of his eyes.

"BILLIE JOE I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!" I cried.

He squeezed me so tight I couldn't breathe.

I coughed from choking until he tenderly pressed his lips against mine he moved his hands down my back and thrust his tongue into my mouth. I smiled widely as we made out for more than two minutes. We pulled away and he held me in his arms.

"I love you so much" he whispered as I nuzzled my head into his chest. My tears soaked into his shirt.

"I love you so much" I whispered as he kissed my head gently.

Billie pulled me over to the table where Tre was sitting. He sat on a chair and pulled me onto his knee.

"What the fuck has happened to your arm!?" he questioned rubbing it. It wasn't in a pot anymore it was in a brace and sling so it didn't hurt that much.

"It broke" I sulked. I didn't want to tell him about the whole experience.

We told him about the funeral and how Tre called him a bastard. This made Billie laugh out and gave Tre a hi five. I scowled and folded my arms.

"Tre would you leave us alone for a minute?" Billie asked smiling.

"Sure thang!" he laughed walking out.

He turned to face me and sucked on my neck giving me another love bite. He squeezed me tight and then squeezed me tighter. He stopped me coughing by kissing me hard. I wrapped my hands around his body and pulled away.

"Jesus Billie Joe you've got so fucking scrawny!"

"I know they don't feed me much. I don't care. I'll be out of here soon. One month to go!" he said kissing my hand.

"I can't believe I haven't seen you in four months!" it's been so long.

"I know I missed you so much"

"I did. Billie. Do you know my arm well it broke because I jumped out of Mike's car while it was still moving and it broke then I hid and they tried to find me but couldn't so I ran out to this cliff and tried to jump of it so I would die but Tre caught me and let me back down on the ground. That is how much I missed you. I was going to kill myself because I wasn't going to see you in five months." I spurted out quickly.

Billie sat and rubbed his head. His eyes glazed up with tears. He blinked and a single tear rolled down his face. I kissed it while he sat with his mouth open.

"You were going to kill yourself?" he finally said.

"Yup"

"Because of me!"

"Yup"

"But why?! I was going to be out soon!"

"Because I love you Billie and when you love somebody you can't stand being away from somebody for to long" I gulped.

He stroked my broken arm and put his fingers in between mine. He clenched his grip so that his skin pressed against mine firmly. I looked at my hand. He was stroking it with his thumb and slightly swinging it. I felt him look up at me. I stared at his eyes. They sparkled with tears and mine did the same.

"I love you," he whispered wiping my tears away.

He lifted his other hand placed it under my chin and pulled my face towards his. He touched his lips against mine so softly and pushed his tongue through. He softly touched it with mine and slowly moved it around my mouth. He took it out and he kissed my closed lips tenderly. My eyes were still closed. He touched my face with the back of his hand and dragged it down gradually and my face tickled. I opened my eyes to see his eyes close to me.

"Visiting time is over!" a policeman shouted.

"Fuck!" Billie Screamed.

He kissed me once more and grabbed my hands. A Policeman pulled him away. His fingers slipped out of mine and I stood there watching him being pulled away back to his cell.


I got back to Tre's house and started to pack.

"Hey! Where are you going?" he asked looking upset.

"I'm going back to Billie's house to get settled in again" I sighed.

"Want me to come with you?"

"Yeah thanks Tre," I said hugging him tight.

I walked inside Billie's house. It was cold very cold. Almost as if there was evil presence there. It smelt badly of blood and death. I huddled up to Tre. I was scared. He gripped my hand and squeezed it.

"Tre, I don't like it" I said shaking.

"Spooky isn't it" he sighed.

"Tre it's to cold in here"

"Want to go back to mine?"

"Tre something's not right in here. It's a bad atmosphere"

"I'm taking you home!"

"No I have to stay!"

"Well I'm staying with you."

"Thanks Tre" I said hugging him close. I walked into the kitchen and it smelt awful. I held my hand to my mouth being sick. Tre rubbed my back and smelling it to was sick. There were speckled of blood on the floor.

Tre and me got used to house. We'd been in it for a month now and Billie was coming home today. We cleaned it up and made it feel warmer. The bad atmosphere had gone.

I waited for Billie coming home all day. There was no sign of him. I sat impatiently in the front room. Tre started to pace up and down. Before we knew it was night.

"I better be getting home" he said carrying his suitcases to the door.

"Thanks Tre for everything" I said hugging him tight. He walked out the door and I watched him go up the street.

A few hours later I decided to go to bed. I was too tired to wait any longer. I lay in bed snuggling the covers. My eyes closed and I fell to sleep.

I felt somebody put their arms underneath me and squeeze me tight.

"Billie?!!!" I said hopefully.

"Dam right it is!!!" he laughed. I flipped around and he hugged me tight.

"Fuck did I miss you!!"

"I missed you to babe go get me condom ok?"

"Fuck yeah!"

I ran back into the room with one. He grabbed me and lay me on the bed. I rolled it on him and he got into position. He slid it in me and I moaned. He laughed and began thrusting. I started to sweat and moan. He squeezed my hips tightly and got faster. He moaned loudly as he got harder. I whined with pleasure. He passionately kissed my neck and his hands reached my chest. He squeezed them hard. I whimpered and he got faster. It started to hurt but was still pleasurable.

"OH FUCK BILLIE!" I moaned digging my nails in.

"YOU LIKE IT BITCH!" he screamed.

I nodded tiredly.

"I'M GOING TO KEEP GOING! I DON'T CARE IF IT HURTS US! I'M GONNA FUCK THE BRAINS OUT OF YOU!!!" he yelled.

He pulled me up from the bed and pushed me to a wall. He started to thrust hard against the wall. He pulled my hands up against the wall and pressed his hard on mine. My body kept hitting the wall hard. I was getting tired and the pleasure kept coming. I slumped down the wall and onto the floor. He got on top of me and put it in me again. I panted heavily and moaned heavily. It spurred him on. He pressed down hard on my body with his hands and pushed it in and out. I screamed out feeling the climax coming nearer. Billie's face screwed up and sweat dripped off him.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD BILLIE JOE!!!!!!" I screamed.

"FUCKING HELL STEPH!!!!" he screamed.

He started to ease after we reached the climax. He eventually took it out and kissed my sweaty body on the floor. He threw the protection in the bin and lifted me into the bed. I was so tired. I was out of breath. I panted while he stoked my face. His hands were covered with sweat. He hugged me tight and kissed me passionately.

"That was fucking amazing!" I sighed gasping for more air.

"It really was. I missed that!" he laughed.

He kissed my head and he panted heavily.

"That was so hot!" I laughed.

"Steph... I love you" he smiled.

"Awww Billie! I love you too" I smiled.

He kissed me once more and cuddled me close. I closed my eyes gently and he stroked my face. I fell asleep knowing I was safe in his arms.

I loved him.