"Billie, Doesn't That Ceiling Just Want To Make You Cry?", chapter 5
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The next morning I was in complete shock. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I didn't talk. I just sat in my bed, staring into space. Out the window. Suddenly I song came into my head and I absent-mindly started singing, lost a sea of memories.
She
She's here again
She's walking away from all the things they say
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
To make her go insane?
Screaming out my name
There is no escape
He
He's gone to nowhere
Alone in despair
Left out in the rain
Streaming down his pain
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
To make him go insane?
Screaming out my name
There is no escape
It
It seeps into my skin
Leaving me awake
Troubles make mistakes
Left for one more day
It never goes away
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
To make me go insane?
Screaming out my name
There is no escape
To some one called hero
"You write that?"
I suddenly turned towards the doorway at the voice. There standing in the doorway was Annie.
She smiled at me.
I said nothing and looked back at the window.
"What's wrong?"
Oh god, she doesn't know.
I heard her walk in and she sat on my bed.
"Mike."
I just continued staring out the window.
"Talk to me. Mike?" When I said nothing, she placed her hand on mine. I looked down. I could look at her. I knew it would be too much.
"I love you." I whispered too her, barely audible.
"What?" she suddenly looked at me like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
Confession number one, I thought miserably. A tear fell from my face and landed on her hand on top of mine.
She felt it and looked down. She suddenly saw that I was wearing our old wedding ring. I had always kept both of them even after we got divorced. I had never stopped loving her. Now it just hurt.
I took my other hand and pulled something out of pocket in a fist. I opened her hand that was holding mine and placed something small in her palm. She looked at it. It was her old wedding ring.
"I want to have it." I told her, "Remember me." She gave me a scared look.
"Mike, what's going on?" she pleaded me.
I still didn't look at her. How could I? Tears where falling from my face.
"What are doing in 3 weeks?" I asked her.
"Nothing, why?"
"Anastasia... " I began.
"Yes?"
"I'm going to die in 3 weeks." There I said it.
She just stared at me as if she hadn't heard right.
"What do mean you're going to die?" she asked me in despair. I could hear her getting choked up. I couldn't look at her face. I hurt me like a dagger threw my heart to tell her such a thing.
"I'm sorry." was all I could say, "I should have told you before from the start. But I couldn't."
"Tell me what?" I could hear her crying.
"That I always loved you, and I still do, and I always will."
"Mike... " She said between tears, "You.... you can't die...." Placed her face in her hand and shook her head as if it weren't real. I still was looking down into my lap motionless. I then leaned forward and wrapped my arm around her. She buried her face in my neck and cried. I felt horrible. How was everyone else going to react? Stella? Tre? Billie... God, how am I going to tell Billie? I can't, he'll commit suicide.... Oh god, why do I have to die? Now? Like this? I started to cry her shoulder as the thoughts raced threw my head.
Well, maybe I shouldn't tell everyone....
The next day
I was let out of the hospital at last. So far only Annie knew I was... well you know. I didn't like to talk about it much. I realized that it had turned my perspective of life around. I only had 19 days left. I couldn't leave life the way I lived it just like this. The was so much more things I had never taken notice of. So much more things I wanted to do but have never done before cause I 'had a whole life a head of me'.
Not anymore.
She
She's here again
She's walking away from all the things they say
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
To make her go insane?
Screaming out my name
There is no escape
He
He's gone to nowhere
Alone in despair
Left out in the rain
Streaming down his pain
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
To make him go insane?
Screaming out my name
There is no escape
It
It seeps into my skin
Leaving me awake
Troubles make mistakes
Left for one more day
It never goes away
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
To make me go insane?
Screaming out my name
There is no escape
To some one called hero
"You write that?"
I suddenly turned towards the doorway at the voice. There standing in the doorway was Annie.
She smiled at me.
I said nothing and looked back at the window.
"What's wrong?"
Oh god, she doesn't know.
I heard her walk in and she sat on my bed.
"Mike."
I just continued staring out the window.
"Talk to me. Mike?" When I said nothing, she placed her hand on mine. I looked down. I could look at her. I knew it would be too much.
"I love you." I whispered too her, barely audible.
"What?" she suddenly looked at me like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
Confession number one, I thought miserably. A tear fell from my face and landed on her hand on top of mine.
She felt it and looked down. She suddenly saw that I was wearing our old wedding ring. I had always kept both of them even after we got divorced. I had never stopped loving her. Now it just hurt.
I took my other hand and pulled something out of pocket in a fist. I opened her hand that was holding mine and placed something small in her palm. She looked at it. It was her old wedding ring.
"I want to have it." I told her, "Remember me." She gave me a scared look.
"Mike, what's going on?" she pleaded me.
I still didn't look at her. How could I? Tears where falling from my face.
"What are doing in 3 weeks?" I asked her.
"Nothing, why?"
"Anastasia... " I began.
"Yes?"
"I'm going to die in 3 weeks." There I said it.
She just stared at me as if she hadn't heard right.
"What do mean you're going to die?" she asked me in despair. I could hear her getting choked up. I couldn't look at her face. I hurt me like a dagger threw my heart to tell her such a thing.
"I'm sorry." was all I could say, "I should have told you before from the start. But I couldn't."
"Tell me what?" I could hear her crying.
"That I always loved you, and I still do, and I always will."
"Mike... " She said between tears, "You.... you can't die...." Placed her face in her hand and shook her head as if it weren't real. I still was looking down into my lap motionless. I then leaned forward and wrapped my arm around her. She buried her face in my neck and cried. I felt horrible. How was everyone else going to react? Stella? Tre? Billie... God, how am I going to tell Billie? I can't, he'll commit suicide.... Oh god, why do I have to die? Now? Like this? I started to cry her shoulder as the thoughts raced threw my head.
Well, maybe I shouldn't tell everyone....
The next day
I was let out of the hospital at last. So far only Annie knew I was... well you know. I didn't like to talk about it much. I realized that it had turned my perspective of life around. I only had 19 days left. I couldn't leave life the way I lived it just like this. The was so much more things I had never taken notice of. So much more things I wanted to do but have never done before cause I 'had a whole life a head of me'.
Not anymore.
