Dreamer, chapter 1
I laid down on my bed thinking about my homework for the weekend that was due Monday. I decided to go to my mom, she could help me. "Mom." I called out and walked into the living room.
"What?" My mother asked, looking up from the table she was wipeing clean.
"I need help." I said sitting down on the couch.
"With what, honey?" She asked, grabbing a chair so she could sit down.
"My homework, I don't know what to write." I said frustrated.
"What's the assignment?" She asked with a smile.
"We have to write what we want to do when we grow up." I said a little worried that I might not get it done.
"Well, what do you want to do?" My mom asked me, hopping that she'll find some more info on me, considering the fact that she barely knew me. Actually, no one knew me.
I finally realized what I wanted to do. "I got it! Thanks mom!" I said and dashed off to my room.
"Okay, what do you want to do?" Mom asked me with a smile. I couldn't tell her.
"Um, I want to be a...a...supermodel!" I lied.
"Really? I thought you despised supermodels." My mother said a little worried that she had lost me again.
"Eh, I changed my views on them." Wow, the lies kept coming. However I couldn't tell her.
"Oh." Mom said looking down. "You better get started, then." She said.
I ran to my room and crashed onto my bed. I wrote my paper and afterwards, I reached under the mattress and pulled out my journal/diary. I started to write:
04.15.85 Dear Diary,
I finally figured out what I want to do. I want to live. Yes, I know, it sounds stupid, but it's true. I want to see the world, and experience things. I don't want to be stuck in one place for too long. I want change. Wait, I don't want change; I need it. I need change, like other people need air. I'm ready to leave this place, it's boring me. It's the same thing everyday. I can't tell mom that, or
this, she's worked too hard to support me and my brother. I want to leave this life behind and start a new. I need to. I'm ready to pack my bags and leave. This is what I want to do, but people, I know, will laugh at me. Mom will be disappointed in me. So now, I have to write a paper on how I want to become a supermodel. Oh how I dispise them. It's about 7:00, and dinner's almost ready. I better start on my paper.
xoxo,
Harlie
I heard mom call me for dinner, so I put my journal back under my mattress. I walked into the kitchen, to face my grandparents sitting there. 'Oh, yeah, they were coming tonight.' I thought to myself. I took my usual place at the table, and zoned out until I heard my name in the conversation. "Yep, our little Harlie here is going to be a supermodel!" Mom said smiling at me. Uh oh, she took it to heart.
"I knew it! I knew she would become a model! As pretty as she is." My grandpa chimed in.
"Dad, it hasn't happened yet." My mom said to my grandfather, still smiling. My grandmother beamed at me until I looked away.
"Excuse me." I finally said and put my plate into the sink. I walked outside and started towards the tree. The tree was the place where I could think about stuff. I could sit up there and have a complete emotional make-over. Oh, how beautiful it was. I climbed to the middle of the tree, and stared into the horizon. All I could think about was how literal mom took my lie. I rested my head on the branch and noted the purple skies, telling myself I should go back in. I finally sighed and started my climb down. Back inside, my older brother, Rion, was blasting his radio so loud I could hear it through the walls.
"Who is it this time, Rion?" I asked standing in his doorway.
"I dunno. Some random band on the radio!" He said, jumping up and down.
"You should find out the name so you could torture me more." I said, walking back into my room. See, the truth was I really didn't like rock music. Or any kind of music, for that matter. For some odd reason, I lived for peace and quiet. I sighed once more, changed into my p.j.'s, climbed into bed and thought about what I wrote in my journal. Oh, how I needed to get away.
***Monday morning***
I walked off the school bus, taking in the picture-perfect school in front of me. It always surprised me and disturbed me that anyone could get this so perfect. I walked into the building, tuning out the names that were headed my way. Oh, how it disturbed me. Not just because they were teasing me, but because they were teasing. It bugged me on how so much hate like that could go on. My first class was English/Reading; the class I had to do the paper on. Lucky me (note the sarcasim) I got to go first. I stood in front of the class, and read my report.
After I was done, I just stood there.
Finally, the class jerk, Adam Peterson, piped up. "You really think, that you, the biggest dork in the universe, could be one of those hot models?" He laughed.
"Well...yeah." I said, a frown coming across my face.
"Okay, the day YOU become a supermodel is when the world will end!" He said, between fits of laughter. With him being not only the class jerk, he was also the most popular guy in 7th grade. The rest of the class, not wanting to seem uncool, laughed also. Even the girl who had the biggest crush on him popped another joke about the paper. However I couldn't hear it since my head was buried in my arms, tears going down my cheeks. For the rest of the class, I just zoned out.
After class, I just wanted to get out of there. However I was stopped by Mrs.Jennings, my teacher. She rested her hands on my shoulders and looked at me. "I can tell, that's not what you want to do. You don't deserve to do that, Harlie. You deserve to do something more grander, more exciting, more unique than that. You don't want to do that Harlie, I can tell." She said to me. I wanted to tell her, but I was afraid she'll laugh at me.
"No, that's really what I wanted to do." I lied with my head down. She took her hands off my shoulders and sighed.
"Okay, Harlie." She said, walking out of the room.
I spent the rest of the day thinking about what Mrs.Jennings had said. More grander, more exciting, more unique. How did she know? I snapped back into reality when I heard the final bell ring. I caught up with Rion after school, since we were supposed to walk home together. Not so he can make sure I don't do anything stupid, so I can make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. Just like today. On the route home, we have to walk down a busy street. It's pretty dangerous even when you're walking on the sidewalk.
Rion decided today that he was going to walk on the curb. "Rion, walk on the sidewalk." I kept telling him.
"No way! I'm fine! I have great balance!" He kept replying. He walked faster to where he was ahead of me and started to walk backwards.
I looked up to see a white truck that looked like it could crush anything, was coming our way.
"Rion, get on the sidewalk!" I said stopping.
"I'm fine-whoa!" He fell right in front of the truck.
"Rion!" I screamed.
I sat on the white, hard hospital chair in the waiting room, replaying everything that had just happened. Did my brother really get hit by a truck? Was I really here? I kept pinching myself, just so I could make sure this wasn't a dream. I looked up from the ground I was staring at to see the doctor come out from the ICU. I held my breath. This was the moment we had been waiting for. I heard the doctor tell my mother something about his breathing, then my mind went bank. I heard my mother cry, and saw her coming near me to sit down. She sat down, and for the first couple of seconds it was an ackward silence. She was about to tell me, when the doctor came back over. He told her he was sorry, and she just nodded her head, as tears streamed down her face. She told the doctor thank you and goodbye, and we left. The walk to the car we were both silent. The car ride home was really ackward, then she broke the news to me. I cried for the rest of the ride and when we got home, I just ran to my room and pulled out my diary. I needed to write:
04.17.85 Dear Diary,
Wow, where do I begin? I guess I should begin with the walk home.
My brother was hit by a truck today. It was all because of his stupid actions. We took him to the hospital, where he later died. HE DIED. He was only 17 years old, 4 years older than me. I always use to think how beautiful death was, now I don't know. Right now, I think death is evil. How could my only friend in the world be gone? How could God do this? Wait, I'm not blaming God, he has a reason for him to be gone. I'm blaming myself. Why didn't I pull him off the curb? Why do we have to walk down that street? Wow, I have so many questions, but only so few could be answered. The sun is starting to set on this day filled with sorrow.
I looked out my window to see the tree. I hopped of my bed and started to the tree. I brought my journal to write in. I approached the tree, and started my climb. I stared into the sunset, and realized it.
life is never going to be the same.
xoxo,
Harlie
I sighed and closed my journal. Another day gone. I was just about to climb down, when I frozed. I could hear a very familier tune, a tune I had heard I think on the radio. Which is weird, since I don't own a radio. Then I remembered. Saturday. The song that was on Rion's radio was now playing. I teared up at the memory. I climbed down, wipeing tears away the whole time. I guess this is when I started to change.
"What?" My mother asked, looking up from the table she was wipeing clean.
"I need help." I said sitting down on the couch.
"With what, honey?" She asked, grabbing a chair so she could sit down.
"My homework, I don't know what to write." I said frustrated.
"What's the assignment?" She asked with a smile.
"We have to write what we want to do when we grow up." I said a little worried that I might not get it done.
"Well, what do you want to do?" My mom asked me, hopping that she'll find some more info on me, considering the fact that she barely knew me. Actually, no one knew me.
I finally realized what I wanted to do. "I got it! Thanks mom!" I said and dashed off to my room.
"Okay, what do you want to do?" Mom asked me with a smile. I couldn't tell her.
"Um, I want to be a...a...supermodel!" I lied.
"Really? I thought you despised supermodels." My mother said a little worried that she had lost me again.
"Eh, I changed my views on them." Wow, the lies kept coming. However I couldn't tell her.
"Oh." Mom said looking down. "You better get started, then." She said.
I ran to my room and crashed onto my bed. I wrote my paper and afterwards, I reached under the mattress and pulled out my journal/diary. I started to write:
04.15.85 Dear Diary,
I finally figured out what I want to do. I want to live. Yes, I know, it sounds stupid, but it's true. I want to see the world, and experience things. I don't want to be stuck in one place for too long. I want change. Wait, I don't want change; I need it. I need change, like other people need air. I'm ready to leave this place, it's boring me. It's the same thing everyday. I can't tell mom that, or
this, she's worked too hard to support me and my brother. I want to leave this life behind and start a new. I need to. I'm ready to pack my bags and leave. This is what I want to do, but people, I know, will laugh at me. Mom will be disappointed in me. So now, I have to write a paper on how I want to become a supermodel. Oh how I dispise them. It's about 7:00, and dinner's almost ready. I better start on my paper.
xoxo,
Harlie
I heard mom call me for dinner, so I put my journal back under my mattress. I walked into the kitchen, to face my grandparents sitting there. 'Oh, yeah, they were coming tonight.' I thought to myself. I took my usual place at the table, and zoned out until I heard my name in the conversation. "Yep, our little Harlie here is going to be a supermodel!" Mom said smiling at me. Uh oh, she took it to heart.
"I knew it! I knew she would become a model! As pretty as she is." My grandpa chimed in.
"Dad, it hasn't happened yet." My mom said to my grandfather, still smiling. My grandmother beamed at me until I looked away.
"Excuse me." I finally said and put my plate into the sink. I walked outside and started towards the tree. The tree was the place where I could think about stuff. I could sit up there and have a complete emotional make-over. Oh, how beautiful it was. I climbed to the middle of the tree, and stared into the horizon. All I could think about was how literal mom took my lie. I rested my head on the branch and noted the purple skies, telling myself I should go back in. I finally sighed and started my climb down. Back inside, my older brother, Rion, was blasting his radio so loud I could hear it through the walls.
"Who is it this time, Rion?" I asked standing in his doorway.
"I dunno. Some random band on the radio!" He said, jumping up and down.
"You should find out the name so you could torture me more." I said, walking back into my room. See, the truth was I really didn't like rock music. Or any kind of music, for that matter. For some odd reason, I lived for peace and quiet. I sighed once more, changed into my p.j.'s, climbed into bed and thought about what I wrote in my journal. Oh, how I needed to get away.
***Monday morning***
I walked off the school bus, taking in the picture-perfect school in front of me. It always surprised me and disturbed me that anyone could get this so perfect. I walked into the building, tuning out the names that were headed my way. Oh, how it disturbed me. Not just because they were teasing me, but because they were teasing. It bugged me on how so much hate like that could go on. My first class was English/Reading; the class I had to do the paper on. Lucky me (note the sarcasim) I got to go first. I stood in front of the class, and read my report.
After I was done, I just stood there.
Finally, the class jerk, Adam Peterson, piped up. "You really think, that you, the biggest dork in the universe, could be one of those hot models?" He laughed.
"Well...yeah." I said, a frown coming across my face.
"Okay, the day YOU become a supermodel is when the world will end!" He said, between fits of laughter. With him being not only the class jerk, he was also the most popular guy in 7th grade. The rest of the class, not wanting to seem uncool, laughed also. Even the girl who had the biggest crush on him popped another joke about the paper. However I couldn't hear it since my head was buried in my arms, tears going down my cheeks. For the rest of the class, I just zoned out.
After class, I just wanted to get out of there. However I was stopped by Mrs.Jennings, my teacher. She rested her hands on my shoulders and looked at me. "I can tell, that's not what you want to do. You don't deserve to do that, Harlie. You deserve to do something more grander, more exciting, more unique than that. You don't want to do that Harlie, I can tell." She said to me. I wanted to tell her, but I was afraid she'll laugh at me.
"No, that's really what I wanted to do." I lied with my head down. She took her hands off my shoulders and sighed.
"Okay, Harlie." She said, walking out of the room.
I spent the rest of the day thinking about what Mrs.Jennings had said. More grander, more exciting, more unique. How did she know? I snapped back into reality when I heard the final bell ring. I caught up with Rion after school, since we were supposed to walk home together. Not so he can make sure I don't do anything stupid, so I can make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. Just like today. On the route home, we have to walk down a busy street. It's pretty dangerous even when you're walking on the sidewalk.
Rion decided today that he was going to walk on the curb. "Rion, walk on the sidewalk." I kept telling him.
"No way! I'm fine! I have great balance!" He kept replying. He walked faster to where he was ahead of me and started to walk backwards.
I looked up to see a white truck that looked like it could crush anything, was coming our way.
"Rion, get on the sidewalk!" I said stopping.
"I'm fine-whoa!" He fell right in front of the truck.
"Rion!" I screamed.
I sat on the white, hard hospital chair in the waiting room, replaying everything that had just happened. Did my brother really get hit by a truck? Was I really here? I kept pinching myself, just so I could make sure this wasn't a dream. I looked up from the ground I was staring at to see the doctor come out from the ICU. I held my breath. This was the moment we had been waiting for. I heard the doctor tell my mother something about his breathing, then my mind went bank. I heard my mother cry, and saw her coming near me to sit down. She sat down, and for the first couple of seconds it was an ackward silence. She was about to tell me, when the doctor came back over. He told her he was sorry, and she just nodded her head, as tears streamed down her face. She told the doctor thank you and goodbye, and we left. The walk to the car we were both silent. The car ride home was really ackward, then she broke the news to me. I cried for the rest of the ride and when we got home, I just ran to my room and pulled out my diary. I needed to write:
04.17.85 Dear Diary,
Wow, where do I begin? I guess I should begin with the walk home.
My brother was hit by a truck today. It was all because of his stupid actions. We took him to the hospital, where he later died. HE DIED. He was only 17 years old, 4 years older than me. I always use to think how beautiful death was, now I don't know. Right now, I think death is evil. How could my only friend in the world be gone? How could God do this? Wait, I'm not blaming God, he has a reason for him to be gone. I'm blaming myself. Why didn't I pull him off the curb? Why do we have to walk down that street? Wow, I have so many questions, but only so few could be answered. The sun is starting to set on this day filled with sorrow.
I looked out my window to see the tree. I hopped of my bed and started to the tree. I brought my journal to write in. I approached the tree, and started my climb. I stared into the sunset, and realized it.
life is never going to be the same.
xoxo,
Harlie
I sighed and closed my journal. Another day gone. I was just about to climb down, when I frozed. I could hear a very familier tune, a tune I had heard I think on the radio. Which is weird, since I don't own a radio. Then I remembered. Saturday. The song that was on Rion's radio was now playing. I teared up at the memory. I climbed down, wipeing tears away the whole time. I guess this is when I started to change.
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