Living life to the full (in my own private suicide), chapter 1
I'm living life to the full (in my own private suicide.) You guys take one look at me and judge me, but you know the old saying, never judge a book by its cover.
I actually know a lot of random, useless cool junk, but you never take the time to get to know me. I know a lot of useful stuff too, I'm quite clever, but of course you wouldn't know that because you see me walking down the street and avert your eyes and laugh at me behind my back. You guys make my life hell, but I don't need you. I have my music, the only thing keeping me sane.
I kick my black converse low tops off and race up to my room to hide from my 'carers.'
I hate this orphanage, I can't wait till I'm 16 and I'm off to the half way house, unless someone adopts me, which is very unlikely. Oh well just 3 more years to go...
"DINNER GUYS!" I hear a yell from downstairs, Charlie one of the carers here.
He's the cook and the only one who listens to me.
I hear a scramble as the other orphans race downstairs I sigh and flop down onto my black bean bag.
I wasn't hungry, I hadn't eaten in the past three days and I was feeling depressed.
I heard a knock on my door. I groaned and stared at my huge picture of Green Day on my black wall.
"I'm not here...DAMMIT!" I yelled stupidly.
Charlie walked in.
"Whoa, Rebel, the blackness is hurting my eyes," he laughed.
"Do you have a reason for disturbing my daydreams of not being an orphan or are you just here to annoy me?" I asked bitterly.
"Dinner's ready," he said
"I know."
"Are you gonna eat today?"
"Nope."
"Rebel, you're wasting away to nothing!" he protested poking my stomach.
"Point being?" I glared at my ceiling.
"Why aren't you eating Reb?"
I shrugged.
"I don't want to face them...all the stares," I muttered.
"Rebel, if you don't eat you'll faint," he sighed.
I shrugged again.
"How about, I bring you some food up here?" he suggested.
I considered for a moment.
"What's for dinner?"
"Fish fingers."
"O.K," I said, "Thanks Charlie."
"No problemo Rebel," he grinned and stood up, "I'll be right back."
He left. I sighed and stood up and walked over to my radio. I flicked on American Idiot and turned the volume right up and I picked up my black and white electric guitar and started to strum along to the opening cords. I loved my guitar, it had been my brothers, I missed Callum like hell.
Two minutes later Charlie walked in with a plate of food, just as 'Jesus of Suburbia' began to blare through the speakers.
"Knock much?"
He ignored me.
"Dinner is served, madam," he said in a posh English accent.
"Uh... great," I mumbled, putting down Andy (the name my brother and I had decided to name the guitar in memory of Andy Armstrong, Billie Joe's dad.)
I took the tray from Charlie and sat down on the bed and I started to eat.
"You're pretty good at that guitar thing," commented Charlie.
I shrugged my mouth full of chips.
"You like this Green Day group?" he asked nodding at the poster on my wall.
I swallowed my chips.
"Hell yeah! They are amazing! Helped me through a lot of hard times," I replied gazing adoringly at my poster on the wall.
"You know it's your birthday next week," he said.
"So..." I sighed.
"Well, I heard Green Day are doing a gig just down the road."
"I know," I replied.
"And guess who has 2 back stage passes?" I stared at him.
"You don't?!"
"My best mate George is one of the technicians and he got some spare tickets," he laughed at the look on my face, "Fancy going for your birthday?"
"Wha-huh- don't you want to take Annie?" I asked.
Annie was his girlfriend.
"She's not really into Punk Rock," he replied, "besides you love them so much and maybe I can bribe you with the tickets to get you to start eating again and stop being depressed so I won't have to keep hiding the razors."
"Do you mean it?" I asked him.
"Sure I do! I've already spoken to Carla, she said it's fine as long as you don't have any alcohol, drugs, talk to strangers or... ." He scratched his head, "Oh yeah! Or get pregnant!"
I laughed then it hit me.
"The concerts tomorrow... "
"Yep!"
"HOLY MOLY MACARONI AND CHEESE! I'M MEETING GREEN DAY TOMORROW!" I screamed
I jumped up and started to spin in a circle.
"OK calm down! Eat your dinner or you can't go!" he commanded laughing.
I immediately sat back down and wolfed down my dinner greedily.
"Yummy! All gone!" I said proudly.
Charlie took my plate laughing and ruffled my short white-blonde hair. Then he stopped and frowned.
"What?"
"How long has your hair had purple streaks in it?" he asked
"Uh...you know I'm really tired," I 'yawned', "I think I'm going to go to bed, night Charlie."
I pushed him out the door. I spun in a circle and fell onto my bed. 'She's a Rebel' started to play along on the radio. I smiled and started to sing to myself.
"She's a Rebel,
She's a saint!
She's the salt of the earth and she's dangerous!"
I soon fell asleep during 'Wake me up When September ends' it was a bad idea to do that, the song meant so much to me but if I listened to it before I slept, my dreams were haunted with nightmares.
I actually know a lot of random, useless cool junk, but you never take the time to get to know me. I know a lot of useful stuff too, I'm quite clever, but of course you wouldn't know that because you see me walking down the street and avert your eyes and laugh at me behind my back. You guys make my life hell, but I don't need you. I have my music, the only thing keeping me sane.
I kick my black converse low tops off and race up to my room to hide from my 'carers.'
I hate this orphanage, I can't wait till I'm 16 and I'm off to the half way house, unless someone adopts me, which is very unlikely. Oh well just 3 more years to go...
"DINNER GUYS!" I hear a yell from downstairs, Charlie one of the carers here.
He's the cook and the only one who listens to me.
I hear a scramble as the other orphans race downstairs I sigh and flop down onto my black bean bag.
I wasn't hungry, I hadn't eaten in the past three days and I was feeling depressed.
I heard a knock on my door. I groaned and stared at my huge picture of Green Day on my black wall.
"I'm not here...DAMMIT!" I yelled stupidly.
Charlie walked in.
"Whoa, Rebel, the blackness is hurting my eyes," he laughed.
"Do you have a reason for disturbing my daydreams of not being an orphan or are you just here to annoy me?" I asked bitterly.
"Dinner's ready," he said
"I know."
"Are you gonna eat today?"
"Nope."
"Rebel, you're wasting away to nothing!" he protested poking my stomach.
"Point being?" I glared at my ceiling.
"Why aren't you eating Reb?"
I shrugged.
"I don't want to face them...all the stares," I muttered.
"Rebel, if you don't eat you'll faint," he sighed.
I shrugged again.
"How about, I bring you some food up here?" he suggested.
I considered for a moment.
"What's for dinner?"
"Fish fingers."
"O.K," I said, "Thanks Charlie."
"No problemo Rebel," he grinned and stood up, "I'll be right back."
He left. I sighed and stood up and walked over to my radio. I flicked on American Idiot and turned the volume right up and I picked up my black and white electric guitar and started to strum along to the opening cords. I loved my guitar, it had been my brothers, I missed Callum like hell.
Two minutes later Charlie walked in with a plate of food, just as 'Jesus of Suburbia' began to blare through the speakers.
"Knock much?"
He ignored me.
"Dinner is served, madam," he said in a posh English accent.
"Uh... great," I mumbled, putting down Andy (the name my brother and I had decided to name the guitar in memory of Andy Armstrong, Billie Joe's dad.)
I took the tray from Charlie and sat down on the bed and I started to eat.
"You're pretty good at that guitar thing," commented Charlie.
I shrugged my mouth full of chips.
"You like this Green Day group?" he asked nodding at the poster on my wall.
I swallowed my chips.
"Hell yeah! They are amazing! Helped me through a lot of hard times," I replied gazing adoringly at my poster on the wall.
"You know it's your birthday next week," he said.
"So..." I sighed.
"Well, I heard Green Day are doing a gig just down the road."
"I know," I replied.
"And guess who has 2 back stage passes?" I stared at him.
"You don't?!"
"My best mate George is one of the technicians and he got some spare tickets," he laughed at the look on my face, "Fancy going for your birthday?"
"Wha-huh- don't you want to take Annie?" I asked.
Annie was his girlfriend.
"She's not really into Punk Rock," he replied, "besides you love them so much and maybe I can bribe you with the tickets to get you to start eating again and stop being depressed so I won't have to keep hiding the razors."
"Do you mean it?" I asked him.
"Sure I do! I've already spoken to Carla, she said it's fine as long as you don't have any alcohol, drugs, talk to strangers or... ." He scratched his head, "Oh yeah! Or get pregnant!"
I laughed then it hit me.
"The concerts tomorrow... "
"Yep!"
"HOLY MOLY MACARONI AND CHEESE! I'M MEETING GREEN DAY TOMORROW!" I screamed
I jumped up and started to spin in a circle.
"OK calm down! Eat your dinner or you can't go!" he commanded laughing.
I immediately sat back down and wolfed down my dinner greedily.
"Yummy! All gone!" I said proudly.
Charlie took my plate laughing and ruffled my short white-blonde hair. Then he stopped and frowned.
"What?"
"How long has your hair had purple streaks in it?" he asked
"Uh...you know I'm really tired," I 'yawned', "I think I'm going to go to bed, night Charlie."
I pushed him out the door. I spun in a circle and fell onto my bed. 'She's a Rebel' started to play along on the radio. I smiled and started to sing to myself.
"She's a Rebel,
She's a saint!
She's the salt of the earth and she's dangerous!"
I soon fell asleep during 'Wake me up When September ends' it was a bad idea to do that, the song meant so much to me but if I listened to it before I slept, my dreams were haunted with nightmares.
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