'Cause Our Love Will Light The Way, chapter 9
I walked slowly through the lonely cemetery, passing the friendless graves until I reached the one I came for. I bent down and placed a single white rose in front of the head stone. Her favorite . . .
I plonked myself none too gracefully on the ground. I shifted my eyes up to the headstone.
Emily Theresa Armstrong, 1980-2006.
Loving wife, mother and family member.
Those words meant nothing. They didn't describe her in the least. Sighing, I turned my head up to the sky. Emily wasn't down there, in the grave. She was in heaven; I knew that much. She was an angel. She was my guardian angel.
"It's been a year, but it feels like forever," I whispered hoarsely. Hot tears started to gather in my eyes. "I miss you so much," I murmured. Tears were now rolling down my face and neck, leaving salty wet trails. I wiped them off with the back of my hand and sniffed.
"Meeka misses you too. She started school today. You would have been so proud. I know how much you were looking forwards to it," my voice cracked, and a stray cry escaped my lips. Tears flooded from my eyes. I couldn't take it anymore. The past year had taken its toll on me, and my body doubled over with uncontrollable sobs. Pure emotion ran through my body, heart ache. I wept into my lap, my tears making the black material of my skinny legs soaking.
"Why? Why'd you have to go?" I whimpered. "I love you so much. . . I need you,"
I did need her. I needed to see her again. I needed to hear her voice again. I needed to hold her again and never let go. She was my soul mate. Death didn't put any boundaries on our love. Even heaven and earth apart couldn't keep us apart, not spiritually.
"If there is a god up there, then please, please bring her back. Let me see her just once, let me hold her again . . . please," I begged. I shut my eyes tightly, and willed with all my body, all my strength, and all my love. I pictured her. Her long, ash blonde hair . . . her bright blue eyes . . . her beautiful smile that could turn my day around. . . her slender frame. . . her long eyelashes. I loved everything about this woman. The way she woke up in the morning, her bad habit of biting her nails, her kisses, her love. . .
I cracked opened my eyes, half expecting for her to be sitting next to me, smiling softly. No one was there.
The cool wind whipped my face and neck. I snuggled into the blanket further, tucking it into mine and Meeka's bodies. I had picked Meeka up from Joey's house, and then we drove home. We ate tea, and then decided to lie out on the trampoline. We had just been looking up in wonder at the vast night sky. T'was a beautiful night indeed; the scattered stars were shining brightly and the moon was illuminating the earth below.
"She's up there, you know," I murmured to Meeka.
"Mum?" she asked me. I nodded. Smart girl, she is.
"She's in a beautiful place called heaven. She's an angel, baby girl, and she's always watching over you," I whispered to her. I pulled her close to me, so that her head was resting on my chest, and my arms were wrapped around her petite body, protecting her. I had sworn to myself that I would never let Meeka go, that I would always protect her. I couldn't loose her like I lost Emily. I wouldn't.
We lay in silence, both of us looking up at the night sky, lost in our own thoughts. In my mind, I was playing back a scene, one of my fondest memories. . .
"I'm bored," whined Emily. "We've been watching this MTV crap for ages, let's do something."
"Like what?" I said lazily. I really couldn't be bothered doing anything. It was just too hot.
"Let's . . ." her face screwed up with concentration, "make a cake."
"Make a cake? Let's not," I drawled, my eyes never leaving the screen.
"Well I'M going to make a cake. A lolly cake," she said smiling stubbornly.
"A lolly cake? No, it'll be too messy . . . and Meeka shouldn't be eating too many lollies at her age. Stay here with me," I said persistently, snaking my arms around her waist, trying to stop her from getting up. I knew how stubborn she could be.
"Nope, I'm gonna go get Meeka and we can make a lolly cake together," she said, struggling out of my hold and walking to the den. I heard her ask Meeka if she wanted to make the cake. Meeka squealed with delight in response, and the two clambered back to the kitchen. I heaved myself of the couch and walked idly to the kitchen, stopping to lean on the door frame. I watched the pair get out all the ingredient and equipment.
Half an hour later, Emily stuck her finger in the mixture and licked it. She pulled a face.
"Ewwww . . . that's gross." Meeka copied her and pulled a face almost identical to her mums'.
"Yucky," she agreed. Em stood there, until a wicked smiled spread across her lips. She dug her hand in the mixture and scooped half of it out of the bowl and threw it at me. It spluttered across my front and on the wall behind me. I gasped and looked down at my newly stained red shirt. She laughed. I looked up at her.
"You! You ruined my shirt!" she smiled playfully at me.
"Soooo . . .? Bye a new one then."
"Right, that's it. . ." I said. I strode purposefully across the room 'till I reached the mixing bowl. I grabbed a handful of the red gooey mixture and slapped it on her chest, just on her cleavage. Her mouth hung open as she looked down at her top in surprise. She stood there for a couple of seconds before she started flinging bits of mixture at me. Meeka joined in, not really caring who or what she hit, just as long as she was covered in goop by the end.
"Do you remember the time when you and your mum made that lolly cake, even though I said not to?" I asked her softly, smiling faintly at the memory. I saw her grin in the moonlight.
"Yeah . . . and then we didn't like it so we had a cake fight," she giggled. I laughed.
"And I had to clean it up afterwards," I chuckled. My heart tugged at the thought of the memory. But she was gone. Tears rolled down my cheek. I wiped them away quickly, so that Meeka wouldn't have to see me cry. I missed Emily so much. She was my life, she was the world to me. I found the ends of Meeka's long black hair and twirled them around my fingers. I kissed the back of her head softly.
"Dad?" she asked.
"Mhmhmn?"
"What's heaven like?" she inquired curiously. I cleared my throat, not really knowing what to say. "Well, it's full of angels . . . just like mummy, and they watch everyone down on earth, and keep them safe." Meeka was silent in thought for a minute.
"Can we visit mummy in heaven?" asked Meeka innocently. I opened my mouth, again unsure of what a good response to that question would be. I held her tightly in my arms, and kissed her temple lightly.
"Maybe some day, baby girl, maybe some day."
The end.
I plonked myself none too gracefully on the ground. I shifted my eyes up to the headstone.
Emily Theresa Armstrong, 1980-2006.
Loving wife, mother and family member.
Those words meant nothing. They didn't describe her in the least. Sighing, I turned my head up to the sky. Emily wasn't down there, in the grave. She was in heaven; I knew that much. She was an angel. She was my guardian angel.
"It's been a year, but it feels like forever," I whispered hoarsely. Hot tears started to gather in my eyes. "I miss you so much," I murmured. Tears were now rolling down my face and neck, leaving salty wet trails. I wiped them off with the back of my hand and sniffed.
"Meeka misses you too. She started school today. You would have been so proud. I know how much you were looking forwards to it," my voice cracked, and a stray cry escaped my lips. Tears flooded from my eyes. I couldn't take it anymore. The past year had taken its toll on me, and my body doubled over with uncontrollable sobs. Pure emotion ran through my body, heart ache. I wept into my lap, my tears making the black material of my skinny legs soaking.
"Why? Why'd you have to go?" I whimpered. "I love you so much. . . I need you,"
I did need her. I needed to see her again. I needed to hear her voice again. I needed to hold her again and never let go. She was my soul mate. Death didn't put any boundaries on our love. Even heaven and earth apart couldn't keep us apart, not spiritually.
"If there is a god up there, then please, please bring her back. Let me see her just once, let me hold her again . . . please," I begged. I shut my eyes tightly, and willed with all my body, all my strength, and all my love. I pictured her. Her long, ash blonde hair . . . her bright blue eyes . . . her beautiful smile that could turn my day around. . . her slender frame. . . her long eyelashes. I loved everything about this woman. The way she woke up in the morning, her bad habit of biting her nails, her kisses, her love. . .
I cracked opened my eyes, half expecting for her to be sitting next to me, smiling softly. No one was there.
The cool wind whipped my face and neck. I snuggled into the blanket further, tucking it into mine and Meeka's bodies. I had picked Meeka up from Joey's house, and then we drove home. We ate tea, and then decided to lie out on the trampoline. We had just been looking up in wonder at the vast night sky. T'was a beautiful night indeed; the scattered stars were shining brightly and the moon was illuminating the earth below.
"She's up there, you know," I murmured to Meeka.
"Mum?" she asked me. I nodded. Smart girl, she is.
"She's in a beautiful place called heaven. She's an angel, baby girl, and she's always watching over you," I whispered to her. I pulled her close to me, so that her head was resting on my chest, and my arms were wrapped around her petite body, protecting her. I had sworn to myself that I would never let Meeka go, that I would always protect her. I couldn't loose her like I lost Emily. I wouldn't.
We lay in silence, both of us looking up at the night sky, lost in our own thoughts. In my mind, I was playing back a scene, one of my fondest memories. . .
"I'm bored," whined Emily. "We've been watching this MTV crap for ages, let's do something."
"Like what?" I said lazily. I really couldn't be bothered doing anything. It was just too hot.
"Let's . . ." her face screwed up with concentration, "make a cake."
"Make a cake? Let's not," I drawled, my eyes never leaving the screen.
"Well I'M going to make a cake. A lolly cake," she said smiling stubbornly.
"A lolly cake? No, it'll be too messy . . . and Meeka shouldn't be eating too many lollies at her age. Stay here with me," I said persistently, snaking my arms around her waist, trying to stop her from getting up. I knew how stubborn she could be.
"Nope, I'm gonna go get Meeka and we can make a lolly cake together," she said, struggling out of my hold and walking to the den. I heard her ask Meeka if she wanted to make the cake. Meeka squealed with delight in response, and the two clambered back to the kitchen. I heaved myself of the couch and walked idly to the kitchen, stopping to lean on the door frame. I watched the pair get out all the ingredient and equipment.
Half an hour later, Emily stuck her finger in the mixture and licked it. She pulled a face.
"Ewwww . . . that's gross." Meeka copied her and pulled a face almost identical to her mums'.
"Yucky," she agreed. Em stood there, until a wicked smiled spread across her lips. She dug her hand in the mixture and scooped half of it out of the bowl and threw it at me. It spluttered across my front and on the wall behind me. I gasped and looked down at my newly stained red shirt. She laughed. I looked up at her.
"You! You ruined my shirt!" she smiled playfully at me.
"Soooo . . .? Bye a new one then."
"Right, that's it. . ." I said. I strode purposefully across the room 'till I reached the mixing bowl. I grabbed a handful of the red gooey mixture and slapped it on her chest, just on her cleavage. Her mouth hung open as she looked down at her top in surprise. She stood there for a couple of seconds before she started flinging bits of mixture at me. Meeka joined in, not really caring who or what she hit, just as long as she was covered in goop by the end.
"Do you remember the time when you and your mum made that lolly cake, even though I said not to?" I asked her softly, smiling faintly at the memory. I saw her grin in the moonlight.
"Yeah . . . and then we didn't like it so we had a cake fight," she giggled. I laughed.
"And I had to clean it up afterwards," I chuckled. My heart tugged at the thought of the memory. But she was gone. Tears rolled down my cheek. I wiped them away quickly, so that Meeka wouldn't have to see me cry. I missed Emily so much. She was my life, she was the world to me. I found the ends of Meeka's long black hair and twirled them around my fingers. I kissed the back of her head softly.
"Dad?" she asked.
"Mhmhmn?"
"What's heaven like?" she inquired curiously. I cleared my throat, not really knowing what to say. "Well, it's full of angels . . . just like mummy, and they watch everyone down on earth, and keep them safe." Meeka was silent in thought for a minute.
"Can we visit mummy in heaven?" asked Meeka innocently. I opened my mouth, again unsure of what a good response to that question would be. I held her tightly in my arms, and kissed her temple lightly.
"Maybe some day, baby girl, maybe some day."
The end.
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