'Cause Our Love Will Light The Way, chapter 8

Emily's POV

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind me, and a pair of lips kiss their way up my shoulder, onto my neck and then to my ear, leaving tingling trails on my bare skin.
"Let's tell her now," Jakob whispered in my ear, sending delicious shivers down my spine. We had driven home, picking Meeka up on the way from the chemist. We decided to wait at least until we were in the house to tell her. I nodded, then turned around in his arms and pecked him on the lips. He held me there, just looking at me for some time, before he took my hand and lead me into the lounge room where Meeka was drawing.
"Meeka, hunny, we have some good news to tell you," said Jakob. Meeka put down the red crayon, and looked up at us with those big baby blues.
"We're having another baby- you're gonna be a big sister!" I said excitedly. A confused look spread across Meeka's face.
"Where's the baby?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.
"In here," I said, picking up Meeka's hands and placing them on my nonexistent bump.
"Is it a girl? Can it be a girl? Please?" I giggled.
"We don't know yet if it's going to be a girl or a boy," said Jakob. I took a seat opposite Meeka, and Jakob sat down next to her.
"Can we name it. . . Princess?" Meeka asked, her whole face lighting up.
"I don't know . . . how about . . ."


On Wednesday we drove to the doctors to have the first ultra sound of the baby. We decided to take Meeka along to, so that she could share the experience. We were in the waiting room, and Meeka picked out a Winnie the Pooh book, and sat down on Jakob's lap next to me. She opened it up, and started to read it out loud, with Jakob and me occasionally helping her with some 'hard' words.
The doctor called us in, right when piglet was flying in the air attached by a kite.
"So it says here that you're pregnant," the doctor stated, looking down through his thick glasses at the clipboard he was holding. I nodded.
"Alright then, Mrs. Armstrong, please lye down on the bed," he said, indicating to the bed that lay in the corner of the small room. I rested on it awkwardly, and the doctor lifted the lower part of my top and rubbed cold gel over my stomach. He brought a screen over, and placed a weird looking instrument on my tummy. I signaled for Jakob and Meeka to stand behind me so that they could see the screen. The doctor turned on the device. I looked for anything moving, but I couldn't see the baby.
"There it is," said the doctor, pointing to a small spot on the monitor.
"It's tiny!" gasped Jakob. I nodded.
"Do you want to hear the baby's heart beat?" the doctor asked. We nodded eagerly. He leaned over me and fiddled with some knobs on the screen, and then a soft beat filled the room. Jakob bent forwards and kissed my temple lightly. I grabbed onto Meeka's hand and squeezed it softly. Her face was glued to the screen, her mouth hanging slightly open.


We got home, and I went straight to the kitchen, having a craving for chocolate. Opening the pantry doors, I frowned, noticing that the cupboards were almost bare. I sighed, resting my hip against the door. I walked out of the kitchen and grabbed my handbag.
"I'm going food shopping," I yelled to no one in particular. Jakob was in the basement, doing something with his guitar, and Meeka was upstairs reading. "Alright," I heard a muffled reply, coming from the basement. I walked out side, and to the car.

***

Jakob's POV

Where is she? She had been gone for over four hours, and I was sick with worry. She had gone food shopping at four; it was now eight. I picked the phone up for the third time and dialed her number.
"Hey, it's Em. Leave a message," I slammed down the phone in frustration.
"Daddy?" I jumped and spun around. Meeka was standing behind me, looking up at me so innocently.
"Where's mummy?" she asked. I knelt down to her level.
"Mummy's just . . . caught in traffic, Meeka. She'll be back soon," I assured, scooping her up in my arms. Who was I trying to convince, Meeka? Or myself? I kissed the tip of her nose lightly, and carried her upstairs to her room. I changed her into her nightie then took her to her bed. She slipped under the covers, pulling them up to her chin.
"Goodnight baby," I said, kissing her forehead
"Night dad. I love you," she said. I smiled.
"I love you too," I murmured. I swept my hand across her forehead and down her face, noting how much she looked like Emily. Smiling softly to myself, I brought her tiny hands up to my lips and kissed each knuckle. Then I got up and left the room, leaving her door slightly ajar.
I walked down to the living room and switched on MTV. I couldn't concentrate. I drummed my fingers impatiently on my thighs, staring out the window occasionally, in hope of spotting the car drive in the drive way. I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall above the television. Eight thirty. I picked up my phone and dialed Frankie's number.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hey Frankie, it's me. Is Em with you?"
"Em? No, she's not here. Isn't she with you?"
"No, she went grocery shopping and she was supposed to be back two hours ago," I said quickly. Frankie was silent for a minute.
"She's probably just . . . caught in traffic or something," he insisted. I sighed.
"You're probably right. I'll ring Mona anyway,"
"Okay, call me if you hear anything,"
"Will do, bye," I said.
"Bye."
I dialed Mona's number.
"Hello, Mr. Armstrong," Joey answered.
"Mr. Armstrong?" I scoffed.
"Shut up, I was expecting another call," he said. "Anyways, what's up little bro?"
"Is Em with you?" I asked.
"Em? No. You lost her?" he drawled, unconcerned.
"Seriously Joey, she's not with you?" I demanded.
"No, I haven't seen her in ages. Do you think she's in trouble?" his tone changed to one of concern.
"I don't know, I hope not. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Alright, see ya,"
I ran my hands through my hair frustratedly. I switched the telly off and decided to get some sleep, though I doubted very highly that any would come. I climbed upstairs to our room and slid under the cold sheets, suddenly aware of the empty space next to me. I rolled over, and shut my eyes. Violent images ran through my head. Emily lying dead some where on a road. . . stranded somewhere far away. . . being raped by a guy holding a gun. I opened my eyes, trying to stuff those thoughts into the back of my mind. I lay awake, watching the numbers on the clock slip by. The numbers reached 12:00, when I heard the phone ring. I jumped up out of bed, surprised at how awake I was, and ran down stairs. I picked it up and held the receiver to my ear.
"Hello?" I answered quickly. I could almost hear Emily's voice at the other end. I knew that this was her, calling to say that she had been stuck in traffic and had gone to stay the night at a hotel.
"Hello, is this Mr. Armstrong?" My heart sank, from the moment the deep male voice said 'hello'.
"Yes, this is," I said flatly
"My name is Officer Brenton. I'm very sorry to inform you that your wife, Mrs. Emily Armstrong has died in a car crash on Walsh Road, at nine o'clock this evening. . ."
He kept talking but I didn't hear anything else. The world froze, but at the same time, it was spinning very fast. I dropped the receiver, not being able to stand the sound of his voice any more. He's wrong, I thought. She's not dead; they've got the wrong person.

The violent images came back to mind. Emily, lying dead on the side of the road, pools of blood surrounding her. I lost my ground, and fell forwards, hitting the floor. My head throbbed and my vision was still whirling. I staggered up, and fumbled for my keys. I saw them faintly, and grabbed them, then raced out to the car. I jammed the keys in, and hit the accelerator. I drove rapidly, not caring about an obstacles; there was only one thing on my mind, and that was to get to Walsh Road as fast as I could.

I reached Ford Street, the road that crossed between Walsh. The road had been blocked off by police tape crossing between two power poles on either sidewalk. I jumped out of the car, and ducked underneath the tape. I ran up ahead, stumbling and occasionally tripping. I could faintly see flashing lights and I could hear a screaming ambulance. I ran faster, faster than I had ever done, but it seemed like I was getting nowhere. I reached the ambulance and the obvious crash site. The scene was surrounded with police men and ambulance officials, none of them seeming to notice I was there. I looked back to the two cars, and ran closer to them, pushing past the police men. The two cars had obviously collided. I tried to focus, but my head was spinning and I felt so dizzy. I could see that the cars were both completely ruined. A silver car and a black car. A black car. Em's car was black. Horror shook through my body as my mind raced a million miles an hour, trying to think up possible scenarios that Em was still alive. She's in the ambulance . . . she's not dea-gone, she can't be.

I ran up to the ambulance and peered inside the back windows. All I could see was an empty bed. I spun around to face an officer, who had suddenly noticed I was here.
"Excuse me sir, but you're not sup-"
"Where's Emily? Where is she?" I cut him off, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. His expression turned to one of sadness, as he shook his head at me. I looked from his face to the black car, ruined and smashed to pulp.

The world froze, and that's when I hit me like a ton of bricks. Like a million glass chards piercing my body, sinking deep into my skin, more painful than anything. I slowly hit the ground, my body falling limp as my life support had just been taken away.

She was gone.

My throat closed over and tears spilled down my face. My heart was throbbing in my chest. I sobbed and wept into the ground, my body shaking with more emotion than I had ever pored out. She's gone. Gone. Dead. I looked up, blinded by tears, to the angry purple sky. I shouted curses to god, thick tears flooding from my eyes. And I screamed. I screamed and screamed and screamed. Everything was just a blur.


If I never feel you in my arms again,
if I never feel your tender kiss again,
if I never hear "I love you" again,
will I never make love to you once again?
Please understand, if love ends,
then I promise you, I promise you that,
that I shall never breathe again.
Breathe again, breathe again,
that I shall never breathe again.

And I can't stop thinking about,
about the way things used to be,
and I can't stop thinking about,
about the love that you made to me.
And I can't get you out of my head;
how in the world will I begin
to let you fall right out of life
and throw my heart away?
And I can't stop caring about,
about the apple of my eye,
and I can't stop doing without,
without the center of my life.
And I can't get you out of my head,
and I know I can't pretend
that I won't die if you decide
you won't come back again.