Fallen Petals, chapter 1
The girl skipped happily down the stairs of her house to get to the kitchen. She ate breakfast quickly, as to make sure that she didn't miss the school bus, and hugged her mother and father good bye. Her parents watched proudly as she ran down the steps to where the big yellow vehicle was waiting for her. It was her first day of high school, and she had been previously educated at home, where she skipped a grade. Today was her first day at a real school, as her parents wanted her to have proper education for the last few years of her education. She had no friends, but she planned on making some. Making friends didn't come easy for her, as she wasn't the prettiest flower in a bunch. She had a flat face with a large, bulbous nose. She was pale, and had dyed-black hair and bright green eyes. She also had a large scar that zigzagged down the centre of her face that attracted unwanted attention from others.
The door to the bus hissed open, and when she had entered, closed with a dull thud. She walked down the aisle, and smiled at the people who were staring at her. When no one offered her a seat, she sat down at the back. Big mistake. At the next stop, the grade twelve boys came on. They had 'claimed' the back of the bus as their own. The leader of the pack took one look at the girl, and made a face of disgust.
"Get out, ugly," he snarled, as the boys behind him, presumably his followers, made threatening gestures towards her.
The girl sized them up, and decided they were just being mean, and stayed where she was.
"Last chance, dirtwad!" he warned.
When the girl didn't move, he forcibly pulled her off the seat and onto the aisle. The girl sat there, astounded, like a deer in headlights. She didn't go up to the bus driver to report the incident, as the scuffle had already attracted too much attention, and she didn't want any more. She got up, and sat on the last empty seat for the remainder of the ride. When she got to school, she went to the office to pick up her schedule and her locker combination. After that she went to her first class. All day, she tried to make friends. She smiled at students in the hall, and asked them if she could eat lunch with them. She was altogether ignored, or was told to go away. She ate lunch alone, sat on the bus ride back home alone, and finally her first day of school was done. She didn't worry about the day. She simply thought that people weren't used to her yet, so she kept trying.
As weeks passed, the girl still hadn't made any friends. She constantly put her hand up in class, but little by little, she wasn't called upon anymore, and she never put up her hand again. She was on the attendance sheets, but after awhile, the teacher simply counted the number of students in the class instead of reading out the names. She joined clubs, but when she wasn't asked to do anything, she quit. Even the people who had always made fun of her had stopped and now ignored her as she had ignored them. It was like she didn't exist anymore. She was too ugly for them. She was 'lower class'. She was unacceptable. She was now just a face with no name, the face forgotten. She put on a happy face at home. When her parents asked if she had made any friends, she simply nodded and went to go do her homework. Over time her parents asked her to invite her 'friends' over, she said that they were busy. They insisted, but she kept avoiding it. Her parents got suspicious, and went to the principal. They found out that she was struggling socially and that she never participated in class. Her parents confronted her about this. She tried lying, and saying that the principal had something against her, but gave up the moment her parents decided to have a 'talk' with the principal about this. She was shocked the principal even knew who she was, let alone how she was doing in school. She admitted to having no friends, and that her teachers ignored her.
Her school marks had begun to falter, and to sink. Gradually, her parents became more and more ashamed of their daughter. They no longer they had an intelligent, kind daughter they once saw, but they saw the not-so-pretty outside appearance everyone else saw.
The girl became more reserved every day that passed. She no longer spoke out. She saw her parents' shame, and didn't talk to them. She wished for the day when the sun would no longer rise again, when the world would be bathed in darkness. She felt a severe hate towards the sun, as it only illuminated her every fault. If there was no light, she'd be freed of the pain. Only then would people not see who she was outside, but who she was inside. She became increasingly frustrated at the other students' attitudes. Why couldn't they just get over her looks? Why couldn't they accept what they saw? She decided to teach them a lesson, and maybe get a little attention while doing so. Cheerleaders soon found plastic snakes in their locker, accompanied by the girl's math homework. Toilets were clogged while pens with the girl's name on it were always by the sink. They were mean pranks, yet she was not blamed. The school bully was accused and shamed for using a made-up name, the girl's name, to cover up his mistakes.
She was thinking about ending her life when Riley came. He was a good student and a transfer student from Tennessee. She watched him from a distance, like a hawk eyeing its prey, for a few weeks. She could see that he was lonely, but found it easier to fit in than the girl had. He became increasingly noticed. Only then did she work up the courage to talk to him. He was her ticket out of misery. She wasn't surprised when she first spoke out, her voice was rusty from misuse. Riley was kind, and he talked to the girl. For once in her life, it seemed like she had a friend. They ate lunch together, sat together in class and phoned each other nightly. She fell in love with him, but said nothing. She wanted to tell him, but couldn't. She had long debates with herself whether to tell him or not, but she was too afraid of severing her bond with her first and only friend.
As the year wore on, he became more popular, taking the girl with him. She marveled at how suddenly she had friends. By the time March came around, she was confident and less shy. She adjusted to her knew life. She was finally where she wanted to be, at the peak of her life. Her marks shot up. Her teachers called on her during class. The light returned to her fiery green eyes. Her parents noticed the change in her. No one noticed her appearance. She was talked to in the halls, eaten with in the cafeteria. She had sleepovers, went to the movies, and went shopping with her new friends. No one remembered her misery. To her, it was a thing of the past.
Her sudden happiness left her blind towards the fact that the phone calls from Riley and his presence around her were lessening. She still loved him, but she loved her popularity more. Her feelings for Riley and her confidence overtook her one day. During one of their now rare phone calls, it slipped out.
"I love you," she said, without thinking.
"What?" he asked, sounding nervous.
The girl knew she couldn't back out now.
"I. Love. You," she repeated slowly.
There was a silence.
"Hello?" the girl said, nervously.
"I have to go now, bye," he said, sounding rushed.
The next day at school, Riley ignored her. He had obviously not intended for the girl to fall for him. For few the next weeks, her popularity decreased without Riley. People talked to her less and less. She was only noticed when they needed her homework to copy from. She let them, desperate to cling to any strands of popularity she had left.
She was now aware that Riley had just used her as a back-up. Someone to fall back onto. She became even more reserved than she was before she met him. She watched him in the halls while he laughed and joked with his friends. She could see the guilt etched in his face every time they happened to look at each other at the same moment. The guilt was soon replaced by disgust. She knew that he no longer even cared about her. It was then that her world fell apart. She now knew exactly what the band Joy Division was talking about when they wrote the song "Love Will Tear Us Apart". Her love for Riley had torn her life apart, had torn pride and hope her parents had in her apart, had torn her apart. She was the last bullet in a gun, the last petal on a rose. She was once again the face with no name. She was desperate for attention now. She would do anything. And anything included overdose. She planned on taking only enough of her mother's sleeping pills to make her sick. But as she swallowed each pill, she got more and more lost in memory of her life. The ups, the downs, the joy and the heartbreaks. She lost count of the number of pills she swallowed, and when she came back to the present, she knew that she would love no more.
The door to the bus hissed open, and when she had entered, closed with a dull thud. She walked down the aisle, and smiled at the people who were staring at her. When no one offered her a seat, she sat down at the back. Big mistake. At the next stop, the grade twelve boys came on. They had 'claimed' the back of the bus as their own. The leader of the pack took one look at the girl, and made a face of disgust.
"Get out, ugly," he snarled, as the boys behind him, presumably his followers, made threatening gestures towards her.
The girl sized them up, and decided they were just being mean, and stayed where she was.
"Last chance, dirtwad!" he warned.
When the girl didn't move, he forcibly pulled her off the seat and onto the aisle. The girl sat there, astounded, like a deer in headlights. She didn't go up to the bus driver to report the incident, as the scuffle had already attracted too much attention, and she didn't want any more. She got up, and sat on the last empty seat for the remainder of the ride. When she got to school, she went to the office to pick up her schedule and her locker combination. After that she went to her first class. All day, she tried to make friends. She smiled at students in the hall, and asked them if she could eat lunch with them. She was altogether ignored, or was told to go away. She ate lunch alone, sat on the bus ride back home alone, and finally her first day of school was done. She didn't worry about the day. She simply thought that people weren't used to her yet, so she kept trying.
As weeks passed, the girl still hadn't made any friends. She constantly put her hand up in class, but little by little, she wasn't called upon anymore, and she never put up her hand again. She was on the attendance sheets, but after awhile, the teacher simply counted the number of students in the class instead of reading out the names. She joined clubs, but when she wasn't asked to do anything, she quit. Even the people who had always made fun of her had stopped and now ignored her as she had ignored them. It was like she didn't exist anymore. She was too ugly for them. She was 'lower class'. She was unacceptable. She was now just a face with no name, the face forgotten. She put on a happy face at home. When her parents asked if she had made any friends, she simply nodded and went to go do her homework. Over time her parents asked her to invite her 'friends' over, she said that they were busy. They insisted, but she kept avoiding it. Her parents got suspicious, and went to the principal. They found out that she was struggling socially and that she never participated in class. Her parents confronted her about this. She tried lying, and saying that the principal had something against her, but gave up the moment her parents decided to have a 'talk' with the principal about this. She was shocked the principal even knew who she was, let alone how she was doing in school. She admitted to having no friends, and that her teachers ignored her.
Her school marks had begun to falter, and to sink. Gradually, her parents became more and more ashamed of their daughter. They no longer they had an intelligent, kind daughter they once saw, but they saw the not-so-pretty outside appearance everyone else saw.
The girl became more reserved every day that passed. She no longer spoke out. She saw her parents' shame, and didn't talk to them. She wished for the day when the sun would no longer rise again, when the world would be bathed in darkness. She felt a severe hate towards the sun, as it only illuminated her every fault. If there was no light, she'd be freed of the pain. Only then would people not see who she was outside, but who she was inside. She became increasingly frustrated at the other students' attitudes. Why couldn't they just get over her looks? Why couldn't they accept what they saw? She decided to teach them a lesson, and maybe get a little attention while doing so. Cheerleaders soon found plastic snakes in their locker, accompanied by the girl's math homework. Toilets were clogged while pens with the girl's name on it were always by the sink. They were mean pranks, yet she was not blamed. The school bully was accused and shamed for using a made-up name, the girl's name, to cover up his mistakes.
She was thinking about ending her life when Riley came. He was a good student and a transfer student from Tennessee. She watched him from a distance, like a hawk eyeing its prey, for a few weeks. She could see that he was lonely, but found it easier to fit in than the girl had. He became increasingly noticed. Only then did she work up the courage to talk to him. He was her ticket out of misery. She wasn't surprised when she first spoke out, her voice was rusty from misuse. Riley was kind, and he talked to the girl. For once in her life, it seemed like she had a friend. They ate lunch together, sat together in class and phoned each other nightly. She fell in love with him, but said nothing. She wanted to tell him, but couldn't. She had long debates with herself whether to tell him or not, but she was too afraid of severing her bond with her first and only friend.
As the year wore on, he became more popular, taking the girl with him. She marveled at how suddenly she had friends. By the time March came around, she was confident and less shy. She adjusted to her knew life. She was finally where she wanted to be, at the peak of her life. Her marks shot up. Her teachers called on her during class. The light returned to her fiery green eyes. Her parents noticed the change in her. No one noticed her appearance. She was talked to in the halls, eaten with in the cafeteria. She had sleepovers, went to the movies, and went shopping with her new friends. No one remembered her misery. To her, it was a thing of the past.
Her sudden happiness left her blind towards the fact that the phone calls from Riley and his presence around her were lessening. She still loved him, but she loved her popularity more. Her feelings for Riley and her confidence overtook her one day. During one of their now rare phone calls, it slipped out.
"I love you," she said, without thinking.
"What?" he asked, sounding nervous.
The girl knew she couldn't back out now.
"I. Love. You," she repeated slowly.
There was a silence.
"Hello?" the girl said, nervously.
"I have to go now, bye," he said, sounding rushed.
The next day at school, Riley ignored her. He had obviously not intended for the girl to fall for him. For few the next weeks, her popularity decreased without Riley. People talked to her less and less. She was only noticed when they needed her homework to copy from. She let them, desperate to cling to any strands of popularity she had left.
She was now aware that Riley had just used her as a back-up. Someone to fall back onto. She became even more reserved than she was before she met him. She watched him in the halls while he laughed and joked with his friends. She could see the guilt etched in his face every time they happened to look at each other at the same moment. The guilt was soon replaced by disgust. She knew that he no longer even cared about her. It was then that her world fell apart. She now knew exactly what the band Joy Division was talking about when they wrote the song "Love Will Tear Us Apart". Her love for Riley had torn her life apart, had torn pride and hope her parents had in her apart, had torn her apart. She was the last bullet in a gun, the last petal on a rose. She was once again the face with no name. She was desperate for attention now. She would do anything. And anything included overdose. She planned on taking only enough of her mother's sleeping pills to make her sick. But as she swallowed each pill, she got more and more lost in memory of her life. The ups, the downs, the joy and the heartbreaks. She lost count of the number of pills she swallowed, and when she came back to the present, she knew that she would love no more.
