Iran and the Sun: Two things I thought I would NEVER hear in the same sentence...

...Unless it said that Iran said that the Sun (British Tabloid Trash) was offensive; then I would whole-heartedly agree.

If you're tuning in from across the pond, this is the "scandal" of soldiers selling their stories of being captured in Iran to newspapers.

I never did like the Sun, neither did I like Des Browne - the Minister who authorized the stories being sold. Putting those two together only means one thing: Run, duck, cover.

Faye Turney was the sole female on board the ship that trespassed into Iranian waters on the 23rd of March and the crew was released on the fourth of April - as an Easter gift, said Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, leader of Iran. And they were.

When she was captured, she was allegedly made to strip starkers and someone measured her up for what she thought was her coffin. She heard other members of the crew muttering that they thought that they were going to die. She was paraded on Iranian TV - wearing a headscarf - and was pointedly reported as "nervous" as she smoked a cigarette.

Five days after she came home, she sold her story to the Sun. She paraded herself on national television, holding the headscarf she was made to wear and so did her buddyroo Nathan Summers. Well, he didn't have a headscarf, but you get the point.

Oh, and lets not forget the six figure sum of money that she got for her story.

That averages out at about £77000 per day of her capture. Minimum.

Hmm, not bad. Better prize money than Big Brother. Mind you, I suppose that the treatment that those terribly awful Iranians gave her was marginally better than the crap she would have went through if she was on Big Brother. For a start, the money was better for fewer amounts of days and you didn't need to do much for food either! Oh no siree, all she had to do was apologize on Iranian TV for trespassing and she had to wear a headscarf!

SHOCK HORROR!

To be fully honest, I don't believe much of her story. Or Nathan's. I mean, if you give pretty much full rights to THE SUN then you're either crazy or Jade Good...I mean...err...err...Shilpa! From the mouths of salacious, notoriously sly and fibbers gossip merchants, how can I believe when Des Browne suddenly went "Whoops, never meant to give them permission." Then you've got the Sun - who in a few pages can blast someone for pedophilic behavior then have to apologize - grudgingly - that they had misread Doctor Singh's letter from the pediatrics center.

It isn't half depressing.

I mean, think about it. If an Iranian cargo boat was caught having a little party coming up the Thames, goodness knows the amount of cops and guns would surround them as they get put in jail. They wouldn't get off as lightly as these ones would have. Not even a moment.

But what really annoys me about the whole thing is that Faye and her husband were crying - yes crying- over losing...an iPod.

That same week, 4 soldiers were killed in action in Iraq.

Makes you think, don't it?

I mean, sure they lost their lives but they lost their iPod! Jeez! They had all their favorite tracks on that!

I wonder if she'll get a publishing deal and write her memoirs.

All I know is that Des Browne said that "the buck stops here" and he is taking blame.

Uhh...I don't think, somehow, that Faye and Nathan think you should apologize. 13 days. 13 lousy stinking days in which they were treated humanely - more so than we would have treated them - and they kerching!

While the world laughs at supposedly the most awesome army in the world.

Heh, yeah...that was true...I think, back when we captured India in the good ol' days before tabloid trash and the legions of sub-celebrity status.


Sources:

BBC Website : Substantial, good reporting.
The Sun : HER ZOMGZ STORY!