The Bible (First Fiction Ever Written)
I'm not Here to Bash the ideals of the Religious, But here's my opinion of the Bible.
Have you ever stopped to think that maybe God doesn't exist, Maybe some guy got high and made him up, and wrote a book about him. I mean, back then, they didn't really know how to classify drugs and I doubt they knew what Euphoria meant.
Jesus, Hah! They say he turned water into wine, Bullshit. They ate Moldy bread (Rye Bread) and that made them delerious. so they could have hallucinated Jesus pouring water into wine.
Moses, don't make me laugh. That burning bush, yeah, it was Cannabis. He didn't here God. Lightning struck a cannabis plant and set it ablaze. Moses got too close and too high.
Opium is made from Poppy seeds, I'm sure they had those back in the day. and I'm sure someone burnt a field of them, or ate them, or maybe even shoved them up their anal cavitites. But suppose the man who wrote the Bible was just a drunk who heard all these stories from other drunks at the Bar. He's a writer and wants to make a classic, so he writes about an Almighty Being. Boom, the man is famous.
That is my philosophy on the Bible. Make of it what you will, but this is how I piece together the First Fiction Ever Written.
Have you ever stopped to think that maybe God doesn't exist, Maybe some guy got high and made him up, and wrote a book about him. I mean, back then, they didn't really know how to classify drugs and I doubt they knew what Euphoria meant.
Jesus, Hah! They say he turned water into wine, Bullshit. They ate Moldy bread (Rye Bread) and that made them delerious. so they could have hallucinated Jesus pouring water into wine.
Moses, don't make me laugh. That burning bush, yeah, it was Cannabis. He didn't here God. Lightning struck a cannabis plant and set it ablaze. Moses got too close and too high.
Opium is made from Poppy seeds, I'm sure they had those back in the day. and I'm sure someone burnt a field of them, or ate them, or maybe even shoved them up their anal cavitites. But suppose the man who wrote the Bible was just a drunk who heard all these stories from other drunks at the Bar. He's a writer and wants to make a classic, so he writes about an Almighty Being. Boom, the man is famous.
That is my philosophy on the Bible. Make of it what you will, but this is how I piece together the First Fiction Ever Written.
Comments
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I agree with it
I mean how do we know that the people who traslated it into English didn't just make it say what they wanted it to say? How do we know that? How do we know that there is a God?
I think the only way to tell is to, well, die. But I'm not doing that anytime soon so I'm going to have to wait and see I guess.
Jessika with a K, June 9th, 2007 at 02:18:37am
"Opium is made from Poppy seeds, I'm sure they had those back in the day. and I'm sure someone burnt a field of them, or ate them, or maybe even shoved them up their anal cavitites." LMAO!!
greenday1386, June 1st, 2007 at 12:49:00pm
"The Bible (First Fiction Ever Written) Who said it isn't fiction? In church they will they that it is not a historic book, that this was the writers view of God and the world. No one will say that its really true, I mean God didn't make the world in seven days, its just a metaphor."
I would like to know which church(es) you have attended. Because every church that I have ever heard of that teaches the Word of God (a.k.a. The Bible) will not say that it isn't historic. And the writers of the bible were writing it based apon what God was telling them to write, not their own veiws.
"Its not all true, of course moses didnt separate the sea in half, noone can do that, its just a story that you learn a lesson from."
Nope. Moses didn't seperate the sea in half. No man can. But God can. And God did.
"The bible was written by a group of people - probably men.
It's proven that the man Jesus was born. They have proof. They don't have proof of the stuff he did, like turning water into wine.
Who says God exists? Some men who lived 2000 years ago. Maybe it was all a goof. Maybe they were all insane but fully believed in this figure."
If you honestly think they were, or might have been insane, do me one favor. Just one. Go to this website: http://www.spiritualcuriosity.com/curios ity/bible.htm
Pick up a bible and turn to the different places it mentions. Then tell me with a straight face that these things haven't/aren't happening.
In case you don't want to visit the website, I'll give you a sample of the site.
"The following probabilities are taken from Peter Stoner in Science Speaks (Moody Press, 1963) to show that coincidence is ruled out by the science of probability. Stoner says that by using the modern science of probability in reference to eight prophecies, 'we find that the chance that any man might have lived down to the present time and fulfilled all eight prophecies is 1 in 1017." That would be 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000. In order to help us comprehend this staggering probability, Stoner illustrates it by supposing that "we take 10(to the power of)17 silver dollars and lay them on the face of Texas. They will cover all of the state two feet deep.
"Now mark one of these silver dollars and stir the whole mass thoroughly, all over the state. Blindfold a man and tell him that he can travel as far as he wishes, but he must pick up one silver dollar and say that this is the right one. What chance would he have of getting the right one? Just the same chance that the prophets would have had of writing these eight prophecies and having them all come true in any one man."
Stoner considers 48 prophecies and says, "we find the chance that any one man fulfilled all 48 prophecies to be 1 in 10(to the power of)157, or 1 in
100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000.
The estimated number of electrons in the universe is around 10(to the power of)79. It should be quite evident that Jesus did not fulfill the prophecies by accident." "
If anyone wants to debate with me over this, private message me. I'll debate any time.
lady.of.darkness., April 25th, 2007 at 02:18:26am
Funny thing is, I used to think like that xD
None of it is actually supposed to mean anything literal, I think, but just... it's all a metaphor. Aw, f*ck, I'll just shut up now, I don't want to get started again. =)
Funky Platypus, April 23rd, 2007 at 11:56:18pm
Personally: I'm agnostic.
But anyway, it's kind of like Scientology. It's a book made into something that represents a religion.
Protest, April 22nd, 2007 at 09:28:32am
Why do you care if people believe in the bible or not.
And there is a difference between having an opinion and bashing.
southernidiot, April 21st, 2007 at 03:47:55pm
The bible was written by a group of people - probably men.
It's proven that the man Jesus was born. They have proof. They don't have proof of the stuff he did, like turning water into wine.
Who says God exists? Some men who lived 2000 years ago. Maybe it was all a goof. Maybe they were all insane but fully believed in this figure.
Isn't it funny how these men who lived 2000 years ago are still in roles of our morals and how people believe in it up to this date.
These men whom we don't even know the names of made so many people believe in something. I find it very incredible.
This made me think. Thank you.
Kristmas_Tsanne, April 20th, 2007 at 07:51:34pm
Actually, teh bible was written by multiple people.
Stef., April 20th, 2007 at 06:50:35am
The Bible (First Fiction Ever Written) Who said it isn't fiction? In church they will they that it is not a historic book, that this was the writers view of God and the world. No one will say that its really true, I mean God didn't make the world in seven days, its just a metaphor. And to say that Christianity is based on the consummation of Cannabis then you are just ignorant.
worn-out astronaut., April 20th, 2007 at 05:53:00am
Hmm whatever you think...but I still believe in God, and no matter how many people write articles and try to stop me, I'll still keep believing.
adrea, April 20th, 2007 at 04:02:19am
XD
I suppose it's just a book taken too far.
dramamine;, April 20th, 2007 at 03:43:17am
You do realise the bible is kinda fiction. the bible isnt fact fact fact. Its not all true, of course moses didnt separate the sea in half, noone can do that, its just a story that you learn a lesson from. We learnt about it las year.
Vegemite, April 20th, 2007 at 03:41:48am
You know, I actually used to think about that a lot. Like, what if the bible was fiction?
I mean, maybe if we sent some of the fantasy novels back in time, they would end up becoming religion. People were a lot more easily impressed back then. And I mean A LOT!
But the bible, and I will say this, is actually a very giood piece of literiture. And at least by the second testemant they were actually preaching messagesabout love. In the first to me it just sounded like a heap of smitings and people being punished or killed.
I do believe something is out there, but I really don't think it can be found in any religion. There is only one religion I would be willing to follow, and that would be Buddism because it respects other religions based on peace and love and when you go down, you don't get eternally damned or whatever. You just bounce back up.
Although you meant this blog not to be that serious, Ill just say now it has raised a lot of thought-provoking. Good one
GreenDayCookieFairy, April 20th, 2007 at 01:02:47am
Cannabis bush. XD
Skippy., April 20th, 2007 at 12:54:42am
my Theorum was just another one to add to the equation, me and my guitarist discuss all the crazy bible babble during shop class while we work on our guitars, so it's mostly drunk garbage I managed to remember
Daveylicious, April 20th, 2007 at 12:41:00am