My parents.
Recently, I have been through a breakup that has been incredibly difficult on me. I was in a relationship with a young man for 7 months. I lost my virginity to him, and we were very serious. We had talked about marriage and children-we even had names picked out. [I realize a lot of you probably think that's far too soon for all that, and looking back on it, I'd have to say you're right.] Anyways, we recently broke up, due to our constant fighting.
Before all this happened, I merely viewed my parents as an obstacle in my relationship. My [now-ex] boyfriend didn't like them, and to be honest, he didn't really have a reason not to. I'll admit that my parents had not always tried to make him comfortable, but that's not their job. They look out for me, and they tried to be good to him as well. For example, in February he was kicked out of his house for about a week. My parents allowed him to stay with us for as long as he wanted. He only stayed for a night, but that was his choice. They did sit us down a couple of times and lecture us about our relationship, once they realized it was not as innocent as it had first seemed. They even talked to him about his control issues.
Now that I don't have his influence over myself and my thoughts, I have been thinking about a lot of things.
I have cried a lot since we've been broken up, and my parents have been there every single time to comfort me. Every. Single. Time. I've had probably 2 or 3 hysteric cryfests that lasted about an hour each, and they sat there with me, and just talked to me, and told me it was going to be okay. Never once have they said, "We told you so," although they have every right to.
Going through all this lately, and having my parents beside me every step of the way, has made me realize that I have taken them for granted in the past. Now I am trying to appreciate them more, because they really deserve it. I know that I haven't been the greatest daughter, and they've admitted that they don't feel they've been the greatest parents. But their presence and understanding, their willingness to listen to me sob about everything that's happened, has made me realize how lucky I am.
Not enough kids have parents who'll take time out of whatever they're doing to just listen. And even when parents do do that sort of thing, a lot of kids just shrug it off. People, don't take your parents for granted. Don't think for a second that they don't understand you, because I bet you anything they have been there. If they haven't, they probably know someone who has. In short, your parents are a lot smarter than you'd think. And you need to appreciate the time you have with them. Someday, you'll grow up, and move out, and have to take care of yourself, if you're not already. Learn from your parents, all you can. Try to foster a good relationship with them. Let them know you appreciate them. And talk to them when something's bothering you. It may not be easy, some people's parents may turn them away or shrug them off, but you should at least try...You never know what's going to happen in the future, so it's a good idea to always have someone in your corner. My bet is that the most reliable choice for that is your parents.
Before all this happened, I merely viewed my parents as an obstacle in my relationship. My [now-ex] boyfriend didn't like them, and to be honest, he didn't really have a reason not to. I'll admit that my parents had not always tried to make him comfortable, but that's not their job. They look out for me, and they tried to be good to him as well. For example, in February he was kicked out of his house for about a week. My parents allowed him to stay with us for as long as he wanted. He only stayed for a night, but that was his choice. They did sit us down a couple of times and lecture us about our relationship, once they realized it was not as innocent as it had first seemed. They even talked to him about his control issues.
Now that I don't have his influence over myself and my thoughts, I have been thinking about a lot of things.
I have cried a lot since we've been broken up, and my parents have been there every single time to comfort me. Every. Single. Time. I've had probably 2 or 3 hysteric cryfests that lasted about an hour each, and they sat there with me, and just talked to me, and told me it was going to be okay. Never once have they said, "We told you so," although they have every right to.
Going through all this lately, and having my parents beside me every step of the way, has made me realize that I have taken them for granted in the past. Now I am trying to appreciate them more, because they really deserve it. I know that I haven't been the greatest daughter, and they've admitted that they don't feel they've been the greatest parents. But their presence and understanding, their willingness to listen to me sob about everything that's happened, has made me realize how lucky I am.
Not enough kids have parents who'll take time out of whatever they're doing to just listen. And even when parents do do that sort of thing, a lot of kids just shrug it off. People, don't take your parents for granted. Don't think for a second that they don't understand you, because I bet you anything they have been there. If they haven't, they probably know someone who has. In short, your parents are a lot smarter than you'd think. And you need to appreciate the time you have with them. Someday, you'll grow up, and move out, and have to take care of yourself, if you're not already. Learn from your parents, all you can. Try to foster a good relationship with them. Let them know you appreciate them. And talk to them when something's bothering you. It may not be easy, some people's parents may turn them away or shrug them off, but you should at least try...You never know what's going to happen in the future, so it's a good idea to always have someone in your corner. My bet is that the most reliable choice for that is your parents.
Unfortunately my parents aren't like that. I can't talk to them. Ive recently been in therapy and mt parents were told that most of my disorders come from feeling isolated, either from having no one to talk to, or from being grounded excessively.
You'd think that, for their oldest daughter's mental health, they'd make some changes.
But I still cry alone (and audibly usually so they can't say they don't know), and I still rarely see those outside the family that mean alot to me.
You parents sound amazing, but in some cases, like mine, there's nothing to take for granted, because theres nothing there, except the obligation to raise us to 18 years of age and then get shot of us.
Ashtray Heart, July 9th, 2007 at 01:44:21pm
I think many young people underestimate their parents ability to understand how they feel. Sometimes it is almost as though they don't realise their parents were young once too, and went through similar situations. Too many young peoplealso feel they cannot talk to their parents about certain things. But parents can surprise you, in the majority of cases they do only want what is best for you. The good parents will allow you to grow and express yourself, letting you discover the world around you even though it can be hurtful to you. But they will always be there for you, through thick and thin, good and bad. I'm glad you have your parents to turn to.
Grandma, July 9th, 2007 at 09:19:13am
I have a very odd relationship with my parents. Me and Mum are pretty much best friends, but my Dad (my parents are divorced) just doesn't seem to care about us. He even said he wasn't our father anymore. We tried to connect with him, but it didn't work so... that's the end of that.
Very good blog by the way, and your parents sound awesome.
ZootSuitRiot, July 9th, 2007 at 06:47:25am
awww that's sweet and very true, it kinda made me teary eyed thinking about my own parents :[
St. Lucie, July 9th, 2007 at 06:44:59am