Why Do These Fights Have Such An Affect On Me?

This isnt going to seem really sad, but I just need to type this out.

My family life is great and all but there are those times I wish I wasnt apart of my own family.
My dad is so impatient, losing his temper every second. Yes, it annoys me greatly so I yell at him and tell him to stop going off. This is where a fight usually occurrs. This gets me quite upset so I stay in my room wanting nothing to do with my family. My dad is physically violent but how he yells and loses his temper it looks as though he could kill us.
My brothers have a huge impace for dad going off. One of my brothers is unbelieveable, you tell him not to do something and yet he will do it. This makes me quite frustrated. Then dad will yell saying "YOURE NOT THEIR MOTHER, LEAVE THEM ALONE!".
I hate fighting with my family. I know my family life isnt as bad as some, but it still hurts me.

Onto the subject of social life.
A few weeks ago I was in this massive fight over msn with this girl called "Kelseigh" this was the first fight we had been in.
See it started by me telling her she changed since seeing this boy, well she didnt change her looks or anything she was just really moody.
This fight go way out of control, I was getting bullied over the interent by all her friends. To be honest it was like 6 against one.
This fight affected me that I felt I couldnt trust anyone!
I actually cried, it was that full-on. I told my mum about this and she said it was that bad she'd take it to the police if it carried on.
The girl has since then apologised. She actually thinks we are friends.
One of her other friends called my mum a slut during this fight, this made my mum extremely angry!
A few days ago the girl apologised. I refused to accept her apology because I could never trust any of them again.
They both told me they had changed, no way would I believe it.
But that girl that called my mum a slut told me she was a bully, thats how she was bought up and that no one could change that.
When she said she had changed and she would never be mean again, I couldn't move on just like that.

This fight has really affected me. "Yes" Ive had huge fights before but this just was the worst.
Since then Ive found it hard to get close to any one. I'm scared of been hurt!

Thankyou if youve read all this blog.
It isnt the biggest of deals to some but to me it is.
Posted on October 11th, 2007 at 02:49am


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