Miserable At Best.
She doesn't know whats wrong with her, all she knows is that she feels low, really low.
It all started around mid-august. She thought nothing of it, just hormones. Then she continued feeling really low, and sad, and she didn't know why. At first she thought it was this boy, and stopped talking to him. It didn't work, so obviously it wasn't the boy. She tried to think of what could be making her this upset, and couldn't find the reason. No matter how hard she tried, every spare minute of her time, was spent staring into space, thinking up ways to harm herself, or just staring there, thinking. She couldn't figure out what was wrong, and it was seriously making her angry.
One day, she was fed up with feeling this low. Mid-January, she wrote her friend a note, and it ended up in the guidance office, both girls in tears. The guidance office started to make her see this in-school therapist guy. She didn't enjoy the thought of baring her heart and soul to a total stranger. Every thing he said, lead back to the boy that she stopped being friends with. She didn't like him putting all the blame on the boy. She doesn't like being stuck in the room with him, and baring her heart, she finds him, strange. So, she refuses to talk to him.
Around the end of January, she began to feel just a little bit happier, but still not, happy. Now, almost the end of February, the girl is in a constant state of despair, sitting around moping, still thinking about death. To be honest, the only thing that stops her from killing herself, is the fact that she's scared of death. She feels as if shes in a dark pit, and can't climb out. She wants to scream, she wants to cry. She wants to live, and she wants to die. She has no clue whatsoever what is wrong with her.
The other night, she went on google and searched up "Signs and symptoms of Depression." , whilst searching, she came by an online quiz. She answered every question, truthfully. When she received her results of the quiz, it said she probably has severe depression, and should seek immediate help if shes thinking suicidal thoughts.
The girl doesn't really know what's wrong, and hopes its not depression. She doesn't find joy in most of the things she usually does. She doesn't understand and doesn't quite know what to do.
The girl, just so happens to be me, and I'm scared sh*tless. I don't know what to do, I HATE talking to the therapist man, because he always asks "what makes you feel like this?" and I always come up with the same answer, "I don't know."
And truthfully, I don't. I have no clue what makes me like this, and talking about it just makes me feel worse.
I don't want my friends to worry, and I don't want my mom thinking its her fault.
I have no clue about anything.
D:
One of my favourite songs is , "Miserable At Best" by Mayday Parade.
and truthfully, I know how it is to feel miserable at best.
thank you for reading.
I'm sorry if this scared any of you, in anyway.
Kaycie
<3
It all started around mid-august. She thought nothing of it, just hormones. Then she continued feeling really low, and sad, and she didn't know why. At first she thought it was this boy, and stopped talking to him. It didn't work, so obviously it wasn't the boy. She tried to think of what could be making her this upset, and couldn't find the reason. No matter how hard she tried, every spare minute of her time, was spent staring into space, thinking up ways to harm herself, or just staring there, thinking. She couldn't figure out what was wrong, and it was seriously making her angry.
One day, she was fed up with feeling this low. Mid-January, she wrote her friend a note, and it ended up in the guidance office, both girls in tears. The guidance office started to make her see this in-school therapist guy. She didn't enjoy the thought of baring her heart and soul to a total stranger. Every thing he said, lead back to the boy that she stopped being friends with. She didn't like him putting all the blame on the boy. She doesn't like being stuck in the room with him, and baring her heart, she finds him, strange. So, she refuses to talk to him.
Around the end of January, she began to feel just a little bit happier, but still not, happy. Now, almost the end of February, the girl is in a constant state of despair, sitting around moping, still thinking about death. To be honest, the only thing that stops her from killing herself, is the fact that she's scared of death. She feels as if shes in a dark pit, and can't climb out. She wants to scream, she wants to cry. She wants to live, and she wants to die. She has no clue whatsoever what is wrong with her.
The other night, she went on google and searched up "Signs and symptoms of Depression." , whilst searching, she came by an online quiz. She answered every question, truthfully. When she received her results of the quiz, it said she probably has severe depression, and should seek immediate help if shes thinking suicidal thoughts.
The girl doesn't really know what's wrong, and hopes its not depression. She doesn't find joy in most of the things she usually does. She doesn't understand and doesn't quite know what to do.
The girl, just so happens to be me, and I'm scared sh*tless. I don't know what to do, I HATE talking to the therapist man, because he always asks "what makes you feel like this?" and I always come up with the same answer, "I don't know."
And truthfully, I don't. I have no clue what makes me like this, and talking about it just makes me feel worse.
I don't want my friends to worry, and I don't want my mom thinking its her fault.
I have no clue about anything.
D:
One of my favourite songs is , "Miserable At Best" by Mayday Parade.
and truthfully, I know how it is to feel miserable at best.
thank you for reading.
I'm sorry if this scared any of you, in anyway.
Kaycie
<3
Kaycie, I love you.
And even though I can't really be with you, I can't really hug you and comfort you, I'll be here, somehow...
brompton cocktail., February 27th, 2008 at 09:02:51am
ily
&
I'm sorry to say this, but I think you should get help soon, while you can. My mom had depression and you know how she turned out! If another person close to me turned out like that, I don't know what I'd do.
I just want you to be okay ._. <3
lishaaaaa, February 26th, 2008 at 11:49:41pm
One thing I have noticed since being on GSB, 14 seems to be an incredibly crappy age for girls. I've seen so many of you now basically saying the same thing. Hang in there things do get better.
Grandma, February 26th, 2008 at 08:29:21pm
=[ i know exactly how you feel..
and i'm sorry to say, you are depressed(it sure sounds like it)
i know exactly how you feel,
i am currently in a suicidal state, and i know how hard it is to talk to people. talking makes me feel worse too..
but talking with someone who understands might help a bit..so I'm always here to talk to you..
*hugs* things'll get better...i promise<3
Bubble Wrap., February 26th, 2008 at 05:59:31pm
kaycie,
i'm going to be straight up and honest. i really, really think you need to come to the doctor with me. i'm sure your mom won't blame you, she'd problly be happy you told her. you don't have to tell them you've self harmed, or anything like that. you just need to tell them the events that occur during your mood swings and they can diagnose you, and find you help. i know it sounds gay, but there's only so much friends can do, there's a point where you need to seek help. and if this feeling has come back multiple times, i really think you should come and find out whats wrong. you're worrying me, i don't want you to end up all f*cked up. there's still time to find help, please.. please i'm begging you to come get help with me.
i love you, ALWAYS!
elle., February 26th, 2008 at 05:53:13pm
...
D:
KAYCIE.
Ily.
:[
if you are going through depression I'm here for you
everyone gets down in the dumps sometimes and sometimes too low
I hope you get better
bffizzles for ever.
hollywood tragedy., February 26th, 2008 at 05:50:03pm
Woah dude..
O__O
I've been going through the same thing..
Without the boy..
I'm on Lexapro, cause I've been diagnosed with severe depression.
KAYCIE I LOVE YOU PLEASE DON'T DIE.
*clings to your leg*
captain america, February 26th, 2008 at 05:45:25pm