The Future Freaks Me Out.
Well recently I've figured out what I wanted to do with my life. Sort of. I know my plan. But I can't help but wonder if I'll get anywhere. If I'll still be friends with who I am now. If I'm going to change or stay the same. Truth- The future really does freak me out.
I have no clue toward anything and I feel pressured a lot to decide. But I'm still young, I can't really make a decision on what there is if I haven't been there yet. What I'm saying is, I don't know what it's going to be like when I'm older, so I can't really be prepared for anything. They try to make you all ready during highschool, but I can tell you it's a waste of time. It does make you smarter and prepared for college, but they don't know how you're going to turn out, what you're going to end up as. They just prepare you for the same thing everyone else is, but in truth you're not like everyone else. Everyone goes at their own rate.
As for my friends right now, I couldn't ask for anybody better. They help me so much through things I couldn't imagine. And are really amazing and outstanding people. My boyfriend, well, he's completely irreplaceable. He's completely considerate and the most wonderful person in the world.
See where I have a dilemma? Truth again- I don't want this to change. I want to stay like this and have everything like it is. Forever. So getting prepared for something you don't want to happen is difficult.
All I can hope is that the phrase "the future isn't set in stone" applies here. Because if it was and I knew what it was, then I would be a very unhappy person, especially if it was something I didn't want. Like change.
I want to remain how I am. I guess what I'm really freaked out about is- I don't want to change. I don't want to be something that I would never imagine me being right now. But, well, only I can decide that right? ;]
--this blog was made to put you into perspective and make you think a little bit more about yourself and what your future holds. You can be what you want, you just have to work hard to get it.--
I have no clue toward anything and I feel pressured a lot to decide. But I'm still young, I can't really make a decision on what there is if I haven't been there yet. What I'm saying is, I don't know what it's going to be like when I'm older, so I can't really be prepared for anything. They try to make you all ready during highschool, but I can tell you it's a waste of time. It does make you smarter and prepared for college, but they don't know how you're going to turn out, what you're going to end up as. They just prepare you for the same thing everyone else is, but in truth you're not like everyone else. Everyone goes at their own rate.
As for my friends right now, I couldn't ask for anybody better. They help me so much through things I couldn't imagine. And are really amazing and outstanding people. My boyfriend, well, he's completely irreplaceable. He's completely considerate and the most wonderful person in the world.
See where I have a dilemma? Truth again- I don't want this to change. I want to stay like this and have everything like it is. Forever. So getting prepared for something you don't want to happen is difficult.
All I can hope is that the phrase "the future isn't set in stone" applies here. Because if it was and I knew what it was, then I would be a very unhappy person, especially if it was something I didn't want. Like change.
I want to remain how I am. I guess what I'm really freaked out about is- I don't want to change. I don't want to be something that I would never imagine me being right now. But, well, only I can decide that right? ;]
--this blog was made to put you into perspective and make you think a little bit more about yourself and what your future holds. You can be what you want, you just have to work hard to get it.--
The future frightens me, i can't deny it.
Mostly because all of the jobs that i feel i could be happy doing are not exactly 'real jobs' that you can break into easily (author, freelance artist, comic book artist/writer, goddamn rock star anyone?), or so i have been led to believe.
Therefore, i am under the impression if i am not very lucky i will end up in a sh*tty flat drawing art that no one wants and writing books that no one cares about, with no income because i can't stand the tedium of a 'normal job', however self-centred and ridiculous that sounds, completely broke.
And broke is not a shade that suits me well, honey.
But to be honest, i don't really want to stay how i am forever. I am often optimistic and look towards a future in one of my desired careers with great excitement, pushing fears of the less succesful life to the back of my mind.
Boo Radley, March 18th, 2008 at 04:04:56pm
I know what you mean....I'm having to decide on uni's and stuff and I'm really excited about going and all, but I'm going to have to leave all my friends behind :(
EvilGiraffe!, March 18th, 2008 at 05:33:46am
I know how you feel. The future scares me too. As much as I wish it would come part of me never wants to see it. Even though things in my life aren't the greatest I know for a fact that when I'm 25 I'll look back on things and actually miss being 14. We'll see though... There's always a new tomorrow.
threeam., March 18th, 2008 at 12:05:53am