"If Love is a cult, we are all believers..."

"...cruel, passionate underachievers."

- Mind Flood, by Sam Roberts.

That line really got me today. I'm still trying to figure out why. I don't even entirely know what it means. It's got an almost... depressing, yet joyful mood to it, don't you think? Neutral

I'm a hopeless romantic, but I don't know how to handle myself in relationships. How is that possible? I'm an introvert, I know that much, but I love the thought of having someone to love, who loves you back for who you are and what you stand for, someone to cuddle with, someone to laugh with, you know, all the cheesy stuff you see in movies that you really don't think is possible in real life. Well, I had it. And then I threw it away. Why the hell would I do that?

Now I've moved on and realized that, hey, maybe it wasn't all what I thought it was. And that's okay. But I find myself longing for that feeling again. But if I find it again, I know I'll just dwell on the negative and end up throwing it away again. What's wrong with me? Why can't I be happy with what I've got?

Maybe it's cause I think there's someone out there for everyone. Actually, maybe there's a few of them. Maybe I just haven't met the right person yet, the one who will make it seem so effortless. I just want to be able to love unconditionally. But once again, the line from the song comes back... I've painted a picture in my head about how I want it to be, and I feel like if it's not quite the same, I'm underachieving. I'm cruel. I need passion. D: What the hell?

.. yeah, I don't know. Some kind of strange rant, I'm guessing? It's more for myself than anyone else... just so I can get this out and stop having to think about it. But if you can relate in any way, go ahead and comment. D:

Posted on September 15th, 2008 at 10:45pm


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