I'm sorry I'm not good enough.

Dear mom,

I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be. I never was your favorite daughter. I never will be either. You've tried to change me since I started dressing the way I do. You just can't accept me for who I am anymore, or who I want to be.

I never was the prettiest one everyone fell in love with instantly, like Sydney was. I never was the smart one that got perfect grades wherever I went, like Lyndsey. And I never was the funny one who got all the friends I could imagine without even trying, like Blake. To tell you the truth, I can't sing like them either.

But I feel comfortable with who I am and how I look. When you try to change me, I feel insecure and horrible. I can't take it. Every time you look at me in disgust, I want to cry. How can I be something I'm not? Why can't you just stop criticizing me and actually get to know me like you think you do.

You don't know ANYTHING about me. I've never liked those movies you said I did. I've never like the stupid Country singers/bands. I've NEVER liked Hollister or Abercrombie. I HATE those things! I could be the most depressed person in the world. I could cut, I could do drugs and drink. But you wouldn't even notice because you don't pay any attention to me enough to actually suspect something. Well I have good news, I don't do any of that. Like you would see it anyway.

The only thing you do notice is when me and my friends get into fights. Do you know why? Because you hate who I hang out with. You can't stand the fact I'm not popular. Well mom, I LIKE who I am! Even if you don't.

You're always telling me to hang out with people. Well I'm sorry, my boyfriend went to college 5 hours away, and my best friend moved back to South Africa. Do you know why I don't hang out with any of my other friends? YOU HATE THEM!

So I'm sorry I could never be like Sydney. No matter how bad she screws up. You always forgive her. But do you know what happens when you are mad at her? You fucking take it out on me! Every single time!

Do you know how many nights I've cried myself to sleep? No you don't. Cause you don't care anymore mom!

I'm tired of trying to fit your standards. I'm sick of it. I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you anymore. I'm sorry I wasn't who you wanted me to be. But the truth is. I'm not sorry for being someone who I'm comfortable with. Even if you don't want to be seen in public with me. I'm not sorry for that.
Posted on September 21st, 2008 at 12:02am

Comments

Post a comment


You have to log in before you post a comment.

Site info | Contact | F.A.Q. | Privacy Policy

2024 © GeekStinkBreath.net
Register