A Band Geek's Declaration of Independence


Hey all, haven't been on here for eons. This was my recent assignment for AP English and it was all about the Declaration of Independence. We analyzed it back and forth, left and right, up and down and all around. Finally, my teacher told my class and I to define what we think we should have freedom from in the trying years of being a Junior in high school. So here it is, a band geek's declaration.

When in the course of the beginning of school, it becomes necessary for a band geek to rebel against the tyrannical band directors and demand even the most ridiculous request in order to find freedom in the hectic schedule. In order to salvage any more lost time, I shall declare the causes of my insanity in hopes that they will let me rest for once in my life!

I hold these truths to be self evident that all band geeks, though worked to the bone, harassed crazily by jocks and oddly eccentric ARE committed, well rounded and physically intense; and in respect should be allowed time off to relax. Sleeping in on weekends instead of participating in MICCA competitions, football games and parades are amongst the many things squandering my valuable time as an independent high school student. But when a long collection of usurpations question my pride, these despotic directors and drill staff continue to oppress my being. These band “Nazis” repeatedly berate me, make me run laps for talking and yell at me for wrong foot placements in the Battle of Roman Fantasy. To prove this unmerciful harassment, let it be known:

They have been exceedingly apathetic for my marching injuries and accidents on the practice field.

They have made all Monday, Wednesday and Saturday practices exactly three hours in the extreme New England weather.

They do not listen when I have suggestions for the better conditions of my Piccolo section.

They frequently demanded another rep of our band show over one hundred times and still find flaws because they know they can.

They refused to seek an answer to why my section is the worst in the entire ensemble.

They especially insulted me by saying I have a lack of motivation for myself and my fellow band members.

In every stage of oppression and unruly cooperation, I have begged for consideration in the most down to earth terms as possible. These simple terms have been thrown back at me with animosity. Nor have I neglected to make my freedom present within the situation. They have been deaf to my requests and though I’ve tried to understand why they put me through this stress, I ultimately conclude my band directors and staff simply don’t care.

I, therefore, a fellow band member of the Methuen High School Ranger Band surrender all my hard work and time and admit myself to the local Crazy Homes asylum down the road. I have relinquished my title as “band geek” to escape the tyrannical band directors and drill staff, causing my abnormal and very psychological state of mind. In the future, this perceived ill treatment will serve as a milestone of my social life.

Posted on November 16th, 2008 at 05:04pm


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