A long goodbye.

This is something that's been coming to me for years. Few know what and who this is about.


Even though we both have grown up and drifted as far away from each other as possible, I sincerely hope, no I pray, that you will find someone that will see you the way I did, always. And they will take care of you, and be there with you as you walk ahead in your life. Just the way I wanted to. But I hope they do it better than I ever could. I hope you love them the way they love you. You were the Alaska in my life, and I hope they're the Alaska in yours.

That day was probably the last day I'll ever see you. I couldn't help but feel... liberated. I had to look at you two, back and forth. My savior, and my misery. He saved me from self pity. From you. Despite all this time that passed and space that set us apart, I am ashamed to admit that my chest still gets tight when I see you, when I with him. That is a horrible, HORRIBLE thing to admit. I'm glad you're gone now because if you stayed I would be awfully miserable. Should I feel guilty for loving someone else? I don't. I don't, and I fell in love with someone else. I love him with all the might I have, because he loved me back. You didn't.

I know he's good for me because I told him all about you, and he is still here. He's still there waiting for me, wanting me. But where are you?