I can breath for the first time

I really trusted you, I put my friends on the line. I never said a bad word about you. But when ever I thought of you, I was reminded of something some one told me in June.
"[she's] not married to the truth"
I never believed a word out of your mouth. I never told you that though. The truth is, I am done with you. I deleted you out of my life. I burned everything you ever sent me, I deleted you out of my phone, and honestly I'm so happy. When it snowed, I didn't think "I have to call her" no, I thought "I'm gonna walk to judy's and make a freaking snow man" And I did. and I didn't think about you and I had so much fun.

I cried over you once, and not even over you, I cried over what you did to me. Out of everything you've ever done, are you aware that was the worst? You didn't try to do anything but hurt me. If you wanted it over you could have done it better. Involving your friend and Trying to make a fool out of me is downright idiotic. and if you called, I wouldn't answer. if you wrote I wouldn't open it. If in ten years I run into you at a store and you ask how I've been, I'll pretend I didn't hear you, Grab what I was getting and walk away. See Since June we had this on/off relationship. and for some reason I kept thinking 'oh she's not bad. I'm bad because I cheated on her. I have to make it up, I'll be good to her" and I was. I was better to you than anyone. even my best friends, The people who never hurt me. and I hurt them for you. Who hurt me, for what? A giggle with someone? I really hope your happy with yourself. Truth be told I don't think you even think about how you hurt me.

So I don't have anyone to talk about Mr.Wesley with, To call every night, I don't have any one to defend or to write letters to. even if I wanted to write you, I burned the envelopes. The good news? I don't have to think about telling anyone what wesley did, I don't have to Base my life off of some one who calls me 24/7 on week ends and at 9pm on week days. When my friends say "I never liked her" I don't say "You may not like her but I love her" Because I don't love you any more, and I don't have to write you a letter every week, I don't have to make it special.

I Don't love any one like I thought I loved you, you did something no one ever did. The moment you turned on me I stopped loving you. I don't wanna be friends. and I really DO NOT want your bad romance.

I'm free, I'm happy. I don't need a Billie to my Adie. I can be happy listening to ska music and Knitting, not listening to you talk about whatshisface and how his hair is Going away. I don't want the cherry cherry to my boom boom. and I'm happy.

I knitted my own scarf because I didn't want the one you made me. I have no idea where that ring is, and I wrote this so I could let you go. your out of my head now.
Posted on December 6th, 2009 at 01:48am


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