The thoughts on the tip of my tongue.
Sometimes, I try and work out if people think the same way as me. It's quite fun after a while. I call it "Trying to think inside the box."
Do other people ever lose contact with themselves? When your mind is telling you to get off the bus, this is your stop, get off now. Yet, your body sits mute and stubborn like a child in your care. Sometimes your bones don't always stay still or exist and you have to hit it or squeeze it to make sure that there is something there. When you start getting panicky when you've lost the bottle of paracetamol and aspirin that you've been collecting for the last few weeks just because you like having it there, counting the number of pills you have, calculating how much of the actual drug you have, how many times over the toxic dose you have lying in your hand. Does anyone else do that? Am I truly unique? Am I just crazy or someone who likes sitting in leaky buses so much and likes the smell of two hundred paracetamol tablets?
Do other people sing and scream to themselves just to fill up the space on lonely nights? Do other people recite poem after poem to calm yourself down from potential suicide to a weeping lump of nothing?
Does anyone look onto the world like a Goddess or an alien, disturbed by humanity? Does anyone think that humans are so insignificant that they all could die at the one time and no other being in the universe would give a damn or whether you're just projecting your own views about yourself onto humanity in fewar of being called selfish or bigoted. After all, no-one can call you bigoted if you hate EVERYBODY and not just someone that's different.
Does anyone love and hate something simulatanouesly? Are your worst nightmares the same as your deepest desires?
Is the only thing I crave the blankness of sleep or the fullness of a typed up novel?
Am I so neurotic that I cannot decide on anything? How can I care about the world if I see myself as that stupid piece of gum under humanity's shoe, the scum to be erased? How can I be special and talented when I can barely bother to do anything anymore because it seems silly in the long run?
God only knows.
Do other people ever lose contact with themselves? When your mind is telling you to get off the bus, this is your stop, get off now. Yet, your body sits mute and stubborn like a child in your care. Sometimes your bones don't always stay still or exist and you have to hit it or squeeze it to make sure that there is something there. When you start getting panicky when you've lost the bottle of paracetamol and aspirin that you've been collecting for the last few weeks just because you like having it there, counting the number of pills you have, calculating how much of the actual drug you have, how many times over the toxic dose you have lying in your hand. Does anyone else do that? Am I truly unique? Am I just crazy or someone who likes sitting in leaky buses so much and likes the smell of two hundred paracetamol tablets?
Do other people sing and scream to themselves just to fill up the space on lonely nights? Do other people recite poem after poem to calm yourself down from potential suicide to a weeping lump of nothing?
Does anyone look onto the world like a Goddess or an alien, disturbed by humanity? Does anyone think that humans are so insignificant that they all could die at the one time and no other being in the universe would give a damn or whether you're just projecting your own views about yourself onto humanity in fewar of being called selfish or bigoted. After all, no-one can call you bigoted if you hate EVERYBODY and not just someone that's different.
Does anyone love and hate something simulatanouesly? Are your worst nightmares the same as your deepest desires?
Is the only thing I crave the blankness of sleep or the fullness of a typed up novel?
Am I so neurotic that I cannot decide on anything? How can I care about the world if I see myself as that stupid piece of gum under humanity's shoe, the scum to be erased? How can I be special and talented when I can barely bother to do anything anymore because it seems silly in the long run?
God only knows.
